Save Me (5 page)

“Mom and Dad would have loved Nick,” he says, and straightens my veil.

“I know,” I say, feeling as if I’m living my mother’s grand plan and not my own life. What if her plan is my life? It could be a coincidence. My eyes dart to the dark corners of the hallway. I hope Jason has left town.

That is the last time I am going to think of him today.

This is Noble’s day. Every day now is Noble’s day.

“I’m glad you’re with him, too,” Sean says, without a hint of the worry I’ve burdened him with the last two years. I think Noble has taken one of his greatest responsibilities off his shoulders. “Do you see how happy he makes you?” Sean asks, questioning my expression that must diminish Noble in some way. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you are never near him without smiling. It’s like you two crack each other up.” We do crack each other up. We always have. “You frolic,” he says as if we are two silly children.

“Don’t fall down and embarrass me,” Sean warns, and wraps my hand around his arm.

“I’ll try not to.” A promise for a lifetime, not just today.

“Not yet.” Sean halts me with a hand at my waist. He puts a finger to his lips to silence any response, and we hear the crowd at the bottom of the stairs humming the wedding march.

“It’s brilliant,” I say as we walk toward the top of the staircase. The three floors of the beach house all commence at the foyer. It’s a gigantic room with two levels of balconies overlooking it. The grand staircase is lined with candles dimly lighting the room, and every loved one I still have is lining the railings or pooled at the bottom waiting for Noble and me to be married.

I tighten my grip on Sean’s arm as we wait at the top of the stairs, and my eyes meet Noble’s. I blush under his stare and the warmth travels through me. If I could, I would fly down to him, but first I have to survive this staircase practically in the dark. Noble is probably thinking the same thing.

Noble, as promised, is wearing his navy suit. The jacket spans from one side to the next with just a hint of how incredible his shoulders are beneath it. He’s tall and muscular but still lean. He has the perfect body to carry a suit…or me naked.

Sean and I descend as the lightning strikes and the thunder threatens to drown out our guests’ music, but they persevere and I am delivered to Noble as the crowd’s hum dies off. I stand facing him on the bottom step of the staircase. Through my veil, I quickly scan the room and find Julia and Violet and Sydney hanging over the railing above me. Margo and Jenn are on the other side, and the sight of all of them fills me with love. Jenn lifts her glass slightly in toast to me and winks.

Butch and Marie are seated in chairs closer to the front door and my aunt Diane stands next to them. Marie’s hand is on Butch’s shoulder. There’s love there. I’m not sure in what form, but it’s good.

Clint has his arms around Jocelyn, but his gaze rests on Renee’s boobs beside him. They’re standing next to Nadine and Derrick, who are embracing as they look down at me. I take a minute to let the sight of them all fill me. We’re in the eye of a storm and ready to celebrate a promise of a lifetime.

Pastor Johnson nods at Sean, who takes my hand and places it in Noble’s waiting palm. Noble raises it to his lips and kisses it. I’m lost in the sight of my fingers near his lips. Noble’s blue eyes, always the color of the clear sky, catch mine before he lowers my hand and covers it with his own. It takes me a minute to remember we’re not alone here.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in this beautiful place, during this tremendous weather, in the presence of God, to join Charlotte and Noble in holy matrimony. This simple ceremony, a few moments in time, is the celebration of a sacred love, created by and nurtured by you, dear Lord.

“Let us pray. Loving God, we thank you for the ability to love. We thank you for Charlotte and Noble finding each other and loving each other with your love as the ultimate example. They stand before you, their family and friends, and today affirm the love that has brought them to this place. Amen.”

“Amen,” we all repeat as the rain continues its assault on the house. Noble squeezes my hands, and the edge of my veil brushes across my skin. Sean was supposed to lift it before he handed me over. I roll my eyes at it and turn to Noble for help. He lets go of my hands and raises my veil over my head and back over my shoulders. His closeness moves me, and when he lowers his arms, I lean up and kiss him on the lips. Our “congregation” finds our inability to follow the traditional order endearing and laughs at us as Noble kisses me again.

Pastor Johnson clears his throat and we both turn our attention back to the ceremony at hand.

“Noble and Charlotte have chosen to memorize the traditional vows. I’ll turn it over to them and hope we get through this without any awkward moments.” Pastor Johnson laughs at us, too.

Sean hands me Noble’s ring and I place it on his finger. I take a deep breath and Noble’s eyes hold me.

I belong right here, right now, with Noble.

“I, Charlotte O’Brien, take you, Noble, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my treasured friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward.” I smile at Noble and sigh, overwhelmed by him. “I vow to be faithful in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and for richer or poorer. I promise to honor you and respect you…and laugh with you.” It is Noble’s finest gift. “And to love you as long as we both shall live.”

I exhale and warm under the loving stare of Noble Sinclair. He is, and has been for two years now, my everything. Noble takes my ring from Sam and places it on my finger. I stare at it on my hand, held by his own.

“I, Noble Sinclair, take you, Charlotte, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my stubborn friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward.” Noble squeezes my hand and the look in his eyes, the ever-present evidence of how much he cherishes me, makes me tear up.

“No crying,” he whispers. “I vow to be faithful in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and for richer or poorer. I promise to love you, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you—and at you—and to cherish you as long as we both shall live and forever thereafter.”

He is the safest place I’ve ever known. He is my father and my mother and my life, and he loves me, forsaking all others. I wrap my arms around Noble’s neck and lean into him. I kiss him with every ounce of love in my body pouring from my lips. He lifts me off the ground and doesn’t return me until Pastor Johnson clears his throat again.

“Well, now, by the power vested in me, and in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

I am beaming. Noble pulls me to him again. He is a promise, and an answer. And I love him. Sam and Rob are howling, and Jenn is doing a Jersey yell as the rest of our guests clap and cheer. The thunder roars outside as Noble takes my hand and leads me to the back of the house and into the library tucked away from the chaos. BJ nudges the door open as Noble takes a candle off the table in the hallway and sets it down on the desk, filling the room with the slightest light. I tap the chair and BJ jumps up as I wrap my arms around my new husband’s waist and bury my head in his chest.

Noble takes my face in his hands and tenderly kisses me. I close my eyes and cherish the moment when my best friend became my husband.

“Hey,” he says, and I open my eyes. “I’m sorry about the storm. You deserve a sunny wedding day.”

I shake my head but never take my eyes from his. “It’s exactly what I deserve and I love it. It reminds me of the first night we were together. The night of the snowstorm.” Noble kisses me again and I savor the touch of his lips.

“I know my sisters are already stalking us, but before we go back out there, I want to tell you something.”

I raise my eyebrows at Noble. “Is this when you’re choosing to tell me you’re gay?”

“Charlotte.” Noble shakes his head. “You’re beautiful.” He looks me over again and I get a chill.

“Thank you,” I say, humbled by his admiration.

“I am the luckiest man alive and I will never take you for granted.”

I think I might cry. Even before he loved me, Noble never took me for granted.

“Do you know that?”

I nod, sensing he’s not done.

He takes my face in his hands and caresses my cheeks with his thumbs. “And, Charlotte, I don’t know what the future holds, but I know we are always going to be together. You’ll never be without me.”

“I know, Noble,” I say, and kiss him. “You are my home.”

With that, Jackie bangs on the door and threatens to barge in if we don’t open it immediately. She’s screaming what she’ll do to Noble if he messes me up “in that dress” before our pictures are taken.

The thunder and lightning die down, but the rain persists. We still have no power, but we have the sound of the rain on the roof, and the road, and the ocean. It’s a constant murmur as it cleanses our pasts and prepares us for the future.

We eat the food and drink the wine. Most is either cold when it should be hot or vice versa, but no one seems to notice. The sixty people here make up the perfect gathering. I wallow in the love and support of each of them as lots of flash photos are taken, and I let myself forget those who are gone forever. Noble is never more than a few feet from me and if our backs are to each other, he is pinching my ass. It is the perfect celebration of us.

I go back to the bedroom upstairs and enter it slowly, carrying my candle, focusing on every corner. I’m not willing to admit what I’m searching for.
Just get changed, Charlotte.
I take off my dress and veil and put them on the hanger over the closet door. I leave my shoes under it and slip on my flip-flops and sundress. I glance once more out the window, but there’s only darkness, only the rain.

I grab my phone and step into the hall to find Noble waiting for me, leaning against the wall. He’s wearing shorts, a long-sleeve shirt, and a rain jacket, which seems smart considering the short walk next door is going to soak us.

“Why didn’t you come in?” I ask, and Noble spins me around and pins me against the wall. I lean into him as the heat spreads through me. I put a hand on each side of his waist and look up naughtily at him.

“I was afraid I would attack you,” he says, slightly breathless, and I know it’s time to go. I kiss him, a tiny, gentle kiss. Being careful with my giant.

Noble takes my hand and we descend the stairs. I say good-bye to every loved one I have left and pause at the door as BJ cries at my feet. I rub behind his ears. He wants to come with us. I look up at Noble and he leans down and scoops BJ up into his arms, covering him with his rain jacket. I take a picture of my two favorite guys and stow my phone away in the folds of my dress.

It doesn’t get better than this.

I
t’s strange to have a wedding without music,” I say as I put my phone on the table next to the bed. “Don’t you think?” I look up at Noble, who’s staring out the window, watching the storm conquer the ocean, for now.

“No first dance,” he says as he turns to me. I tilt my head and take him in. Noble comes to me and pulls my dress over my head. He kisses me, hungry from our day apart. A day of watching each other, confined by an audience. Noble stops and takes the hairpins from the back of my head and lets my hair fall to my bare shoulders.

I pull Noble’s shirt off and caress his biceps. I shiver and he pulls me close to him, warming me from the inside out. His wavy hair is wet from the rain. Noble carried BJ and held the umbrella for the two of us, bearing the brunt of the storm.

“You got wet¸” I say as I run my hands through his hair.

“Small price to get you out of there.” He kisses me again.

I unbutton his shorts and lower his zipper. He drops them to the floor and his giant hard-on falls out as he does. Noble offers me his hand. It reminds me of my date nights at Rutgers when I could steal him for a dance. I place my hand in his and he pulls me toward him, his dick resting on my stomach, and we dance. Noble sings in my ear and we rock back and forth, my hand flat on his chest, his covering mine. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, breathing in the air that surrounds my husband and me on our first dance.

“I think you are making me sentimental,” I say.

“I think you’ve always been sentimental. You’ve just been missing something of value,” Noble says, and I am again struck by the way he sees things. Life is beautiful to Noble Sinclair, and I am beautiful. Lightning strikes and I freeze in his arms, waiting for the thunder. It roars and BJ’s snoring pauses, but he rolls over and goes back to sleep on our bed.

“Do you think if we’d hired a videographer for the wedding that they would have filmed this?” Noble gives me a peck as he pulls away and takes his phone out of his shorts pocket. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. I rest my head on his shoulder as we both smile at the camera he’s holding above us. Noble turns the camera for us to view the photo, my face next to his, resting on his naked shoulder.

“It will be my favorite wedding picture,” Noble says, and kisses me again.

His lips part mine and his tongue finishes our dance as I practically climb up his beautiful body. I curl one leg around him and hang off his neck until he lifts me up and I can wrap the second behind him as well. Noble holds me as he kisses me, my heart beating against his chest. I pull back, our chests still touching.

“Can you feel my heart beating?” I ask.

“Always,” he says, and sits on the chair in the corner of the room with me straddling him. “Always, Charlotte Sinclair.”

I open my eyes to the sound of BJ snoring and the rain hitting the street. How can it still be raining? How can BJ still be snoring? I guess the wedding was a big day for him. My dog can’t party.

I roll out from under Noble’s grasp and tiptoe out of the room. In the kitchen, I find a tray and plates. I search for items not affected by the lack of electricity. I place four different bagels and two bananas on the tray. I add glasses and a pitcher of water. Anything else in the house I’m unsure of. I pull a few flowers from my bouquet and place them in a juice glass with some water and carry the whole thing upstairs. Noble’s still asleep. I place the tray on the table next to my side of the bed and climb in next to him. I lie still, trying to comprehend that my lovely Noble is now my husband.

When he rolls over and his eyes flit, I kiss him. I can’t wait any longer for him to be with me. “Morning, Hubby,” I say.

“Good morning, Mrs. Sinclair.” Noble rolls toward me. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, and I’m confused.

“Where else would I be?”

“I had a dream two nights ago that you left me at the altar.” Noble’s face is grim, as if I would ever leave him. Ever leave him at the altar.

“That’s terrible. I would never do that to you.”

“I know. You’re too loyal. I don’t think you could live with yourself if you hurt me like that.”

I hug Noble tight, hoping to rid us of this conversation. I don’t want to consider what injury I’m capable of living with.

“Too honest, too.”

“Actually, I need to tell you something.”

Noble leans up and grabs a bagel from the tray. “What do you need to tell me?” he jibes. “There’s nothing you can say that’s going to get you out of this.”

I chew on my bottom lip, trying to remember how I’ve kept this from him. Surely it wasn’t intentional.

“I have a lot of money. Well, now we have a lot of money,” I blurt out.

“What?” Noble is confused. Not confused enough to stop eating his bagel, but confused.

“When my parents died in the car accident, there was insurance…and inheritance…and a liability settlement,” I say, listing the horrible papers that had to be signed in the business of my parents’ demise.

“I know. That’s how you and Julia bought the place in New York City.”

“Yes, but there’s still some left.”

Noble continues eating, thinking this whole conversation is trivial. “How much could be left? Your place in Manhattan is great.”

“Almost five million dollars.”

Noble freezes midbite. He lowers his bagel to the plate resting on the bed. “What?” Shock has erased his humor.

“
We
have five million dollars. Not all liquid. The majority is invested, but it’s ours.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asks, completely confused. “Your parents have been gone for four years.”

“I know. I just don’t talk about it. The money isn’t a happy thing for me. It’s blood money. I wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for some company’s attempt to cover a scandal. Their death, silenced by a check.”

“Why didn’t you at least tell me after we were engaged?” Noble’s beginning to realize he’s married to an idiot.

“I almost did, but I was afraid you’d be uncomfortable with it.”

“Shows what you know. I always wanted a rich wife,” he says, and runs his thumb down the side of my face. “I would have insisted on a prenup. That’s your money, from your parents.”

“I think that’s why I didn’t tell you. There is some happiness attached to it, if it belongs to you, too. But that can be said for me or the money,” I say, and kiss Noble’s lips.
He makes me whole.

“So now we have a lot of land and a lot of money. We need to see an attorney.”

“Among other things.” I move his plate to the side as I climb on top of Noble Sinclair.

The rain finally stops and we drive home in my Volvo holding hands. BJ is curled up on my lap, his head resting on the console, and my dress is hanging in the back. We did it. We really did it.

I’m married.

When Noble pulls into his—our—driveway, it’s different. This is where I live now and even though I’ve spent hundreds of nights here, something is very different now that I have this thin platinum band around my finger. This will forever be my home. Noble squeezes my hand as he parks the car. Oh my God, this is where my car gets parked now. I think it’s going to take some getting used to.

“Leave the stuff in the car. I’ll come out and get it in a little while,” Noble says, and I climb out without asking any questions. I grab the card I wrote him this morning out of my bag and carry it silently to the door.

Noble stops at the entry, grinning from ear to ear.

“What?” I ask. Not sure what the problem is. Noble lifts me up into his arms, and instinctively I wrap my arms around his neck.

“You can’t walk over the threshold.”

“Oh right, I can’t walk over the threshold, but you can see me the morning of the wedding. Keeping up with which superstitions you take seriously is going to be difficult,” I say, and lean my head on his shoulder. “I could get used to you carrying me around, though.”

Noble carries me into the house and once BJ follows us in, he kicks the door closed. Instead of putting me down, he carries me straight to our newly painted bedroom and places me on the floor as the painting I hung right before we left for the wedding catches his eye. Noble walks to the painting and studies it.

“It’s the farm?” he asks as he examines the house at the end of the waves of fields. It’s the house we’re standing in now.

“It’s our home. Do you like it?”

“I love it,” he says, and turns to me. “Almost as much as I love you.” Noble takes my face in his hands and kisses me.

“I have a card to go with it.” I hand him the card.

“Read it to me.”
Can no one read their own letters anymore?
I open the card and sigh.

“Noble,

“If I can find a way for you to experience what I feel when you look at me, I will.

“It’s as if everything good, and pure, and fun in this world is all wrapped up inside of you and unbelievably, you’re mine.

“I should have married you the day after you asked, but I couldn’t imagine I would be as happy as I was this weekend.

“You somehow fill me and instead of remembering those I have lost, I’m enamored with the one person I now have forever.

“Thank you for choosing me,

“Charlotte Sinclair.”

The words are barely out of my mouth before Noble has me pinned beneath him on the bed. He kisses my neck while I giggle. His lips slide to my ear and his breath there stops the laughter. It’s replaced by a heat dancing under my skin.