Sasha: The Awakening (The Wallflower Series Book 2) (6 page)

Before Sasha could respond, Teagan took her into her arms. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud that you’re able to show how strong you are. And when you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong, I’m here.”

Instead of replying, Sasha returned Teagan’s embrace with a shudder.

Dmitri was sitting quietly on his couch staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows as had become his custom over the past few years. There was no television in his living room; he had no time nor interest in watching. Instead, the room was sparsely decorated with shelves of books from his studies more than a decade earlier. The few photos that hung from the walls were not of him nor his family members but abstract artwork that held no meaning beyond simple adornment.

He didn’t know what had come over him. Maybe it was the upcoming anniversary of his mother’s death within the next few days or Nadia’s departure, but he had become awfully self-reflective. And it annoyed him. Now all he could consider was how empty his life seemed. Sasha’s rejection the previous night did not help matters.

He couldn’t be surprised at her reaction. But now he was more determined than ever to get her to see the depths of his regret and continued affections. Her parting remarks had definitely spurred the fire within him. One of the greatest hesitations he had when he first got involved with her two years ago was her obvious need for love and affection and his own hesitation for anything serious. He could see from the depths of her eyes her desperation and after learning of her past, he began to understand the root cause.

Thinking of his intentions and his purposeful disregard of her obvious desires with dating him and giving away her virginity, Dmitri could only feel a sickening sense of his own fate. He deserved her lack of forgiveness and continued hatred. In more ways than one, he had brutally betrayed her trust. But despite whatever changes she claimed, he knew that the same desperation for love and family existed within Sasha’s heart. It was something she had struggled with her whole life; there was no way it had simply vanished within a few years. She was simply denying it to herself because of his callous treatment.

And there lay his biggest regret; his actions had created the wall she now held between herself and others. He had caused his own biggest deterrent. How could he expect her to destroy her walls of protection and run back into the arms of the perpetrator?

Dmitri’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a knock at the door. Having not expected any visitors, he was surprised to find Dominic on the other end of the door. Hesitantly, he let his brother cross the threshold into his penthouse with a casual nod. Admittedly, he had his own reasons for accepting the company. While he may have actively ignored Carter’s presence with Sasha the other night and the meaning therein, Dominic could act as a source of more information in that regard.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked politely. At the grunt that followed his question, he sought the refrigerator for bottles of water. After throwing one to Dominic who sat splayed out comfortably on the couch, he took a seat himself. For a few moments, they both sat together with no words exchanged between them.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?” Dominic finally inquired.

“I assumed you would get to it at some point,” Dmitri responded in explanation.

Dominic sighed. “Fair enough. I’m actually a bit surprised myself that I came.” Dmitri only waited for him to continue when he paused. “If anything, I was one of the few people rooting for you until I saw what you were capable of.”

Growing impatient, Dmitri interrupted to ask, “What the hell are you talking about, Dominic? If you came here to scold me for something just spit it out. I don’t have time for your shit.”

Dominic glared at his brother and rolled his eyes. “It’s when you open your fucking mouth that I really wonder why I even bother dealing with you. You drive people away Dmitri. You realize that, don’t you?”

“I don’t need your psycho-babble bullshit right now, Dom.”

“No, actually you do. Because you don’t seem to realize that you’re going to wake up to no one by your side one day. I’ve been trying for years for you to see that I’m not an enemy. I never have been but you continue to treat me that way. You did the same with Sasha and to be honest, I’m really interested in seeing how she responds to your advances after what happened.”

Returning the hostile glances from his brother, Dmitri responded through gritted teeth, “That’s it, isn’t it? You want to see me fall on my ass so you can get a chance at her.” He leaned closer to his brother. “Stay away from her,” he warned. “She’s mine.”

There was a fire that leapt into Dominic’s eyes and Dmitri was slightly taken aback at the resemblance he saw between them. Expecting punches to be thrown, Dmitri was shocked when Dominic laughed humorlessly. “And there it is again. You are pushing me away because you feel vulnerable. How do you expect to get back with her if you haven’t faced your own problems? The same problems that caused you two to break up in the first place?”

Dmitri paused, not having an answer to the legitimate question. Instead, he asked again, “What do you want Dom?”

“You’re my brother, Dmitri. I want to see you happy. I want to help you. But instead of seeing that, you automatically assume I’m out to stab you in the back. And, to be honest, I am sick and tired of having to always be at war with you. I could have told you to go fuck yourself a long time ago but I never could let myself do it. You know why?” Dominic was visibly shaken as he spoke. These were words he had held back for so long, it floored him how difficult they were to say aloud. “Because no matter how much you seem to hate me, you’re my brother. And I love you.”

Dmitri, seeing the tension in Dominic’s jaw and fisted hands, didn’t know what to say. Those three words had never been spoken between them. He had always kept his distance. The mere sight of Dominic had always made him remember the promise he had made to his mother posthumously.

“Just tell me, man.” When Dmitri only raised a brow, he continued, “Just tell me why you hate me. What did I do?”

All Dmitri could think of in that moment was Sasha’s words, her envy of his family. He had merely shrugged at her admiration of him having siblings because he had only ever considered Nadia to be his family. But now, though Dominic was surely trying to hide it, there was an emotional pain that made his voice hoarse and his face redden with anger. In all Dmitri’s actions to distance himself, he had never considered he had been hurting anyone. But it seemed that in the same way he had hurt Sasha, he had been inadvertently wounding his brother as well.

Instead of turning away, Dmitri decided maybe it was best to finally speak the truth. “I blamed you.”

“For what?”

“For destroying my family. Because of your birth, my mother and Nikolai divorced. And she died a broken woman who felt betrayed and abandoned. If you hadn’t been born, Nikolai’s transgressions with Natalia may have been forgiven. And so, I promised myself that I could never find happiness living with you, Natalia, and Nikolai. You may not have directly caused the cancer that eventually took my mother away, but you damn well didn’t help her happiness at the end of her days.”

Dmitri looked away. “Nadia was the only person with no blood on her hands. And so I clung to her. Loving her didn’t betray my mother’s memory.”

There was a tense silence between them after Dmitri’s confession. Until Dominic finally spoke,

“Well, that explains it, huh?” He shook his head and rubbed at the five o’clock shadow framing his sharp jawline. “And here I was expecting that everything was a misunderstanding, that you didn’t really hate me. But, it turns out you do. What a plot twist.” Dominic began to rise from the couch to exit the penthouse.

“Dom.” When his brother returned his stare, Dmitri sighed. “I don’t hate you. Disliking Natalia and Nikolai came easy when they got in the way of Nadia’s health. But I know how fucked up my reasoning is. You were never at fault for what happened to my mother. And, to be perfectly honest, I’ve felt guilty for many years about the way I treated you growing up. You really were better off without me in your life.”

“No, actually I wasn’t. As much as Nadia missed you when you left, so did I. You aren’t the only one that can’t stand our parents. I looked up to you, Dmitri. And, I hate to sound like a complete pussy but it really did hurt when you left without so much as a goodbye and never contacted me.”

A silence decorated the room after both of their confessions. Dominic took a large sip of his bottled water and then leaned back into the couch with a deep groan that broke the silence. “Well that has got to be the most emotionally tense conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life.” He needed humor to distance himself from being so vulnerable. This had been decades in the making, the pain he suffered at the hands of his brother’s constant rejection. And getting it out felt like a weight off his shoulders, but neither was he prepared to deal with the consequences of such emotional reveals.

“Believe me, when you eventually find someone serious, it will not be your last. After my break-up with Sasha, it took me awhile but everything she told me made me reconsider my life. I was always so amazed by her naiveté and innocence anytime she spoke of the importance of family. I didn’t realize that my perspective was so…one-sided. While admittedly, there are no perfect relationships, I have been very clouded by my past pain. I refused to see that not everyone was at fault. And I apologize for that.

“If I am to win her back and prove to her that I have changed, I’m going to need to let go of my pride a bit it seems. I disregarded her opinion many times because I saw it as the innocent whims of her childhood. But there was something in everything that she ever told me. It may not have all been applicable but I never should have cut her down so many times. Or pushed her away.”

“I’m guessing things didn’t go well with your reunion last night.”

Dmitri laughed. “That’s definitely an understatement. She not only gave me a cut to the ribs but also made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want to have me in her life ever again. And I can’t blame her.”

Dominic punched him on the shoulder. “Dude, you are so fucking whipped! It’s refreshing to see you like this though. I’m sure you’ve always had the upper hand with any relationship. For once, you’re the one that has to fight for what you want. She may not want you anymore but now is your chance to change her mind.”

Seeing his opening, Dmitri finally asked the question that had been hovering within his mind since the night before. “Wouldn’t your friend be a bit upset? Aren’t they dating?”

Dominic frowned at the thought of his college friend Carter. “I respect Carter a lot. And if I am to be honest, I do think he is better for her than you.” At the glare Dmitri sent his way, he held up his hands in surrender. “However, when she looked at him, it wasn’t with the same adoration she once bestowed upon you. I think you still have a chance. You’re just going to have to work your ass off trying to prove it to her.”

Dmitri grinned mischievously. “I have some things set up.”

His younger brother laughed. “Oh, I’m sure you do. Especially with the way that ass was looking last night.” He whistled softly. “Damn, if you hadn’t met her first.” Seeing the fist headed his way, Dominic quickly ducked, continuing to laugh.

Dmitri rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, man.” But he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at the continued sounds of mirth. He had been so concerned with the walls surrounding Sasha’s heart; he had almost forgotten the ones that had decorated his own. But it seemed the past few moments speaking with his brother, had begun to slowly chip away at them.

Sasha’s heels clicked upon the linoleum as she made her way to her office. The sly grins from her co-workers that accompanied the usual greetings made her slightly pause, but she continued on her way. When she finally made it to her assistant’s desk, her curiosity was definitely piqued. Justin smiled up at her mischievously and Lola stood in front of his desk practically jumping on the balls of her feet.

Stopping before them, she asked softly, “What is it? Why is everyone acting weird?”

“You tell us,” Lola purred. Taking a step to the side, she revealed what had been waiting for Sasha’s arrival.

She looked at the two-dozen roses in glass vases in absolute shock. She had never been given flowers before. Her first thought was that there had to have been a mistake in delivery, but once she reached out and saw her name scrawled across the card, there was no mistaking who it had been meant for.

“Well, I’m guessing that date with Carter went well,” Lola teased.

“They aren’t from Carter,” Sasha stated softly after reading the contents of the card. Quickly, she crumbled the letter in her hands and threw it into the trash bin next to Justin’s desk. Both her friends stared at her actions in shock. Before they could speak, however, she walked into her office, yelling in farewell,

“You can take them or throw them away. I don’t really care.”

After closing her door softly behind her and ignoring the protests from both Justin and Lola, Sasha sat at her desk and watched as her hands shook. Taking in a few deep breaths, she wondered how Dmitri had found her place of work. But could she really be surprised with the money and power he had at his disposal?

To distract herself from thoughts of him, Sasha buried herself in her work for the next few hours. Until she couldn’t avoid Lola and Justin’s questions any longer. As was their custom, they entered her office during lunchtime. To her surprise, this time Justin was the one that initially asked the questions. She could tell his directness was partly motivated by concern.