Sasha: The Awakening (The Wallflower Series Book 2) (5 page)

When she attempted to push his hand away, he halted her movement by holding onto her wrist. “Give me a chance to show you, Sasha. Just give me one more chance.”

“Why? You wouldn’t show me anything different.”

His eyes widened slightly in stark realization. Releasing her hand, he took a step back. “I did this to you…” Her eyes narrowed at his words but before she could speak, he continued as if he had been speaking to himself, “Maybe you’re right. So what if you are different- if you’re no longer the innocent and warm-hearted girl you used to be. If that’s the case, it doesn’t change anything. Let me get to know you as you are now. And you do the same. Don’t we owe each other at least that?”

Sasha scoffed. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“No, you don’t,” he agreed. “But you once said that you loved me. And I may have never earned that love but that didn’t change you. It’s because you were and you still
are
a loving human being, Sasha,” he said desperately, recalling Teagan’s words at her graduation. “No circumstance ever changed that. And I know that no matter how hurt you may have been after everything, you are still willing to give that love to someone. You can bottle up that desire as much as you want but it’s still there. It’s a permanent fixture within you. It was why I was so drawn to you to begin with. I’m not assuming anything with this but just give me a chance to earn it once more. Truly earn it.”

Sasha was speechless as she stood in the increasingly cold night air. But the shivers that ran down her spine were not a result of the dry wind. What he said had hit too close to home. It was exactly what Carter had said- her heart’s truest desire. Another opportunity was staring her right in the face, his gaze intense and anxious as he waited for her response. But was she willing to take the chance once more?

“I-I…can’t, Dmitri. Not again. I’m tired…” her throat clogged with built-up emotions. “I’m tired of trying. You may not know it but you made me realize something. I should have learned my lesson the first time with my mother…and then the different families. Some people just aren’t meant for it. It’s eluded me so many times you’d think I’d have realized that sooner.” She laughed dryly. “I was naïve and stupid. So don’t feel guilty anymore. You’ve said your apologies; you’re done. You don’t owe me anything else. And I won’t hold you to it any longer.”

She turned to her car and opened the door. Throwing her purse into the passenger seat she turned to him with a sad smile. “You know, I don’t think about it much anymore. The whole love and family bit. Accepting the inevitable was a true turning point for me, and I’ve never been happier.”

But even as she finally drove away, they both didn’t believe her parting words.

The next day, Sasha was awoken by the sound of knocking at her bedroom door. Groaning in distaste at being awakened so early on a Sunday, she almost crawled from the bed before opening the door a crack. Her eyes still adjusting to the light of day, she rubbed them self-consciously.

“What?” she practically barked.

“Dang, girl! What the hell happened to you last night? You look horrendous.”

Sasha rolled her eyes at Teagan. “You don’t look so great yourself after a night out.”

Her friend shrugged. “True. Well, I came to wake you up. Dinner with Jaelynn and Faye was moved to brunch. Apparently, Faye has better things to do with her time on a
Sunday
night, instead of hanging out with a friend she hasn’t seen in months!”

At the mention of their names, Sasha’s day immediately went from bad to worse. She was close to telling Teagan to tell them both to shove it but only barely kept her cool. Instead of the string of curse words she itched to scream out, she gruffly responded,

“I’ll be ready in thirty.”

In exactly one hour, Teagan and Sasha were seated at a cozy little bistro where they waited for the other two to arrive. Sasha felt a sense of déjà vu at the scenery. With the events of last night still at the forefront of her mind, any mention of a restaurant made her think of the first time she met Dmitri. Needless to say, her sleep had been anything but peaceful at his surprise appearance and their conversation in the parking lot.

After coming home, she had been too much of an emotional wreck to do anything but fall straight into bed and try to drown her sorrows in the comfort of her bedspread and multitude of pillows. Unfortunately, the pillows ended up being her worst enemy as the warmth they provided made her dream of Dmitri. The way they rested against her back had felt oddly similar to the nights she had spent in his condo with his large form spooned against her smaller stature. Thus causing her to awaken to even more unwanted remembrances.

“How was your date?” Teagan asked as they waited.

“It went really well, actually.”

When she provided no more information, Teagan’s interest was piqued. “You didn’t like him, did you?”

“What makes you think that?”

Her friend rolled her eyes and took a drink of the glass of water on the table. “Because you practically gush with unwanted details when a date goes well. Or at least that’s what you used to do with you-know-who.”

Sasha shook her head, causing her locks to flow softly against her neck and shoulders. “First off, I don’t ‘gush’. Secondly, if you don’t feel up to speaking his name, don’t mention him at all. This isn’t Harry Potter.”

“Well someone surely woke up on the wrong side of the bed. What’s up with you, girl?”

Sasha deemed it best not to answer. And, thankfully, just as Teagan was opening her mouth to push for more details, they were interrupted. Her eyes automatically narrowed at the sight of both women as they pranced to the table. Faye wore a short yellow and white dress with heels that could warn people of her approach from half a mile away with the noise it made when meeting the concrete floor. In stark contrast, Jaelynn was dress conservatively in black slacks and a blue sweater.

“Teagan!” Faye squealed with her approach. They hugged each other in greeting while Jaelynn smiled in Sasha’ direction.

“Nice to see you again, Sasha,” she said softly. Jaelynn then turned to Teagan for a hug.

As soon as they had all taken their seats, the waiter served them. After everyone had placed an order, Sasha listened in as both Faye and Jaelynn grilled Teagan about her time in New York.

“So, when do you go back?”

Teagan frowned slightly. “Unfortunately, tomorrow morning. I have to get back to work on a project design but I’ll try to visit more often.”

Faye pouted. “I miss you, though. Why’d it have to be you?” She turned to Sasha. “Weren’t you the one that was supposed to be leaving? I mean, everyone heard about what happened.”

‘And so it begins…’ Sasha thought to herself. She decided to play it cool. They were in a public place after all. “I’m sorry, what do you mean?” Though she asked innocently enough, her eyes held a warning that she hoped Faye would be smart enough to pick up on.

Despite both Jaelynn and Teagan’s censored glances her way, Faye continued as if there was nothing wrong with her inquiry. “Oh, you know. When Dmitri Durand broke up with you.” She sighed for dramatic effect and raised her hand to her forehead as if checking for a fever. “I have to say, you’ve got guts staying in the same city as him. I mean, if I had been you- even though there is no comparing the two of us- I would have taken the hint and moved. I mean, I did warn you that a man like him would move on quickly. Especially with the women he dated before you.”

“Faye!” Teagan called her out. “What the hell? Stop!”

Sasha raised her hand to Teagan to quiet her. “No, it’s okay. This was bound to come out sooner or later. Do you think if you had been with him, things would have ended up different? Is that it, Faye?”

Faye flipped her blond locks off her shoulder, knowing the light would emphasize the highlights she had put into her hair. “I mean, is that even a question?” She laughed and looked at both Teagan and Jaelynn for encouragement. Teagan openly glared back while Jaelynn avoided eye contact.

“You’re right. It’s not. Because I know for certain he didn’t want your ass. Hmm…neither did that old CEO, huh? What was it again?” Sasha mocked Faye’s tone from before. “Oh yeah, wasn’t he married and chose his wife over you? Wait- that’s not
even
a question.”

Faye’s eyes narrowed and this time, there was no hiding her dislike. “Listen you-”

“Oh no, did the truth hurt?” Sasha gave her an exaggerated look of concern. “You know, it must have really hurt your ego when Dmitri chose to date me when you walk around like you’re the greatest thing to grace this Earth. But that doesn’t change the facts. For having not seen me in years, you seem awfully obsessed with my life. Is the dye job and fake tan not doing it for you anymore? Age catching up?”

Teagan let out a burst of laughter at that, Jaelynn soon following. But Sasha didn’t hear it, her eyes were solely focused on the woman that had played a hand in taking advantage of the woman she used to be. Before, all she had known was to walk away from conflict. She had wanted love and friendship so badly, she had accepted the abuse. But this time was going to be different. Because, as she had told Dmitri, she had learned her lesson and the old Sasha who pined for what she would never have was long gone.

“If your life and pussy are that dried up maybe its time for some more surgery. Maybe it’ll keep you occupied enough that your flat ass stays out of my business.”

Faye gasped in shock; her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. Their table was beginning to receive curious glances from the other patrons in the restaurant. Faye, not prepared for Sasha’s remarks, was at a loss for words. Instead, she looked away and took a sip of the water in front of her.

Sasha’s gaze stayed on Faye for a moment. When she saw defeat, the fire that had leapt into her eyes soon dissipated. And as quickly as it had sprung, the tension at the table was gone. Jaelynn cleared her throat and moved the conversation into a safe direction and everyone seemed eager to follow.

However, for Teagan, the dinner was not a celebration. While she was happy to see Sasha stand up for herself and guiltily enjoyed seeing Faye receive her comeuppance, she was now worried. Teagan saw something in her friend that hadn’t been there before: rage. She recalled warmly how Sasha had usually been incapable of that level of anger. It was something they had always laughed about. For Sasha, she stated simply that there was no room in her heart for such negative energy. Rage was what she had faced so much as a young girl, and she had told Teagan that she never wanted to become that person.

After their brunch with Faye and Jaelynn, Teagan looked at Sasha with new eyes. The other woman walked with her head held high, seemingly unperturbed by the encounter that had characterized their outing. They returned to Sasha’s apartment mostly in silence. But once there, Teagan found that she could no longer hold her tongue.

“Sasha? What’s going on? Why are you so angry?”

Sasha looked at her friend with a raised brow. The question seemed to have come from out of the blue. “What are you talking about?”

Teagan shook her head with a slight frown. “Faye deserved everything you said to her. I’m not saying that you are wrong there. But I know that you’re anger was not really directed at her. So, tell me… what’s really going on?”

Her eyes narrowed and Teagan almost took a step back at the glare she received from her friend. “Why do I now have to justify my emotions to you? Am I not allowed to be angry now?”

Though now she was the target of Sasha’s anger, Teagan didn’t let that fluster her. “No, I’m not asking you to justify your emotions to me, Sasha. I’m asking you what happened. The Sasha I know has a generally positive disposition. But the Sasha in that bistro was overcome by something much stronger than simple irritation at someone’s mean-spirited teasing. I know it was more than that, and as your friend, I want to help. Let me be there for you.”

When there was no response, Teagan continued, “Sasha…” she approached with a warm smile, “do you remember that day when we were arguing with the insurance company over…what was it?”

“You totaling the car,” Sasha supplied with a deadpan expression.

Teagan shook her head and gave a sheepish grin, “oh, yeah…well, you know how angry I was that they refused to cover us?” At her nod, Teagan continued, “But you refused to be upset. I was raving and yelling at the man across the desk, telling him to go to hell in nine different ways, but you were like an emotional rock.”

Sasha placed her hands on her hips and sucked her teeth, “Excuse me?”

Teagan merely laughed, “I don’t mean it like that. I mean, you were angry but you didn’t let it rule you. You didn’t let it make you insult a man just doing his job. It was something I always admired about you. After that day, I asked about it and you told me that any time you were angry you would remember your first foster home. You would remember how that couple would yell at each other nonstop, insulting one another as if no love existed between them. You said that you never wanted to become that.”

“What’s your point, Teagan?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “It means that today, I saw something in you that the old Sasha wouldn’t want to see. Stand up for yourself, yes…but bringing other people down, throwing cheap shots, isn’t the way to do it. Don’t let your anger become rage, Sasha. You’re so much better than Faye, but in a split second, you sounded so much like her.”