Sarah's Surrender (2 page)

A week after Luke had proposed, Sarah reread the article in the Guthrie newspaper once more, her heart pounding faster with each paragraph her eyes scanned. This was it—the chance she'd been waiting for
—praying
for. July 29th was less than a month away—and there was so much she must do to prepare. She folded the paper and stared out the window of the home she'd lived in for close to a decade.

Would Gabe and Lara be upset when she told them she'd be leaving? They'd so generously opened their home to her when she showed up on their doorstep with Jo, Lara's younger sister. They had become her family. But she couldn't let that hold her back from reaching for her dream. The idea of leaving here was both frightening and exhilarating. Jo would probably encourage her to follow her heart, but Lara would be more cautious and protective—motherly.

Her gaze shifted toward the barn, as it often did. She wished she could have given Luke the answer he'd wanted, but she couldn't. Not yet. Maybe never. She'd never had a male friend like him, and leaving him behind would almost be harder than leaving Lara and the children. She was an older sister to the Coulter young'uns, even Michael, Lara's sixteen-year-old son by her first husband. Oh, how she would miss them.

Sighing, she turned and glanced around her room. It had been hers since shortly after she and Jo had arrived here. She loved this private oasis with its lacy curtains and comfortable furniture, but she longed for a
home
of her own—not just one room. It was time for her to move on. Time for her to keep the promise she'd made to her mother.

Dropping onto her bed, she remembered the tiny cabin she and her mother had shared. Distant relatives had helped provide food and water when her mother became ill, but Sarah was always hungry—except for the rare times her father stopped by with a mule-load of food or sent money. Her mother had told her to study hard and make her own way—not to be dependent on anyone so that she could be in charge of her destiny. Winning land would be the start of fulfilling that dream.

Her clock chimed, yanking Sarah from her thoughts. She hurried downstairs and donned her apron. She should have been down sooner to bring in the laundry and help Lara prepare supper, but she'd been praying once again about her decision. Excitement and nerves had tangled with her prayers. There were so many things she had to work out.

Lara looked over her shoulder and smiled as Sarah entered the kitchen. Her smile dimmed. “Are you feeling all right?”

Sarah nodded. “Yes, I was reading something and praying for a bit. I apologize for not being down sooner.”

Lara waved a dismissing hand in the air. “You don't owe me an explanation.” She glanced at her daughters. “Don't peel those potatoes too thick, Beth.”

“I'm not, Mama. But could you tell Missy to stop playin' with the peelings? She's makin' a mess.” The eight-year-old sighed like a frustrated adult.

Sarah walked over to the table and hugged Missy. “Are you making a mess?”

The three-year-old giggled. “I makin' a house.”

“Ma–a–a!” Beth rolled her eyes.

Lara crossed to the table. “Missy, if you play with those peelings, you'll be the one who has to clean them up.”

The little girl looked at her pile then suddenly pushed the whole mess back toward her sister. “I done.”

Lara's light green eyes twinkled as she glanced at Sarah. “I bet Sarah would appreciate your help taking down the laundry.”

“Aw'wight.” Missy slid from her chair, took hold of Sarah's hand, then glanced up at her with light green eyes, just like her mother's. “C'mon.”

Sarah smiled and squeezed the girl's hand. “We need to wash your hands before you handle the clean clothes.” She led the girl to the washtub, ladled in some fresh water from the bucket sitting next to it, and then cleaned and dried their hands. “Let's get the basket and the clothespin holder.”

“I get it.” Missy dashed across the kitchen and out the door to the side porch the men had recently added.

Sarah chuckled. “She sure is fast when she wants to be.”

Beth snorted. “Don't I know. She likes to play with my doll, and no matter where I hide it, she finds it faster than you can say Jack Sprat.”

“We need to make one for her to replace the dolly she lost. Then maybe she won't bother yours.” Lara patted her daughter's shoulder.

“Can we start on it tonight?”

Sarah grinned as she exited the kitchen, looking for Missy. With a houseful of children, there was always something to chuckle about. Missy trotted under the flapping clothes on the line, pretending to be a horse, her favorite animal. Given the choice, the little tomboy would go to work with her father, as Michael did most days. Oh, how she'd miss this family when she was gone. Her days would be so lonely after the craziness of a large family, but achieving her dream would be worth it.

Sarah snagged the wicker basket off the porch and headed to the clothesline. She would have to add rope to her supply list so that she could create her own line for hanging laundry. There were so many things she needed to set up her own place. Though she'd saved the majority of the money her father had sent over the years, she now wondered if it would stretch as far as she needed it to. She reached for a clothespin. Was she making a big mistake?

S
arah's hand shook as she spooned a bite of mashed turnips into her mouth. Would Gabe and Lara be upset when she finally shared the news of her decision? Would they think her ungrateful for all they'd done for her? Jack, Lara's brother and the local preacher, would probably try to dissuade her. He was like an older brother to her, and she highly valued his counsel. Maybe she should talk with him first.

The clink of silverware filled the room as eight people enjoyed their supper. Luke often joined the family for the evening meal, but his empty seat reminded her of their talk. Between bites, Missy jabbered to her pa about playing with the kittens in the barn with Beth, while Michael excitedly told his ma of the eagle he'd seen swoop down and snag a rabbit. Drew, a lively six-year-old with a sparkle in his brown eyes, stole a slice of meat off Beth's plate when her face was turned. Normally, Sarah would have smiled, but instead, she clenched the edge of her napkin, already missing the children's antics. This decision was the biggest one she'd made since choosing to run away from the bordello her father owned at the same time Jo did, eight years ago.

Lara glanced across the table and lifted a brow. “You're rather quiet tonight.”

“I've got something I want to talk to you about.”

The chatter instantly quieted, and almost everyone looked her way. Sarah's mouth went dry. Her leg started jiggling beneath the table. “I … meant … later.”

“Say it now. We all wanna hear.” Drew reached for another biscuit, but his ma snatched the plate away.

“Not until you finish your vegetables, young man.”

“But, Ma–a–a, you know I hate turnips.”

Lara eyed the boy as only a mother could.

“Do as your ma says.” Gabe pointed his fork at his son.

Jack glanced down at his own plate, looking as if he were fighting a smile. His son Cody, only a few months younger than Drew, leaned against his pa's arm and looked up.

“I don't like turnips neither, Pa,” he whispered loudly enough that everyone heard.

Beth giggled and ducked her head.

Jack glanced at the boy. “You eat what's put on your plate, son.”

“But—”

Jack lifted his eyebrows, and the boy nodded. “Yes, sir.” He picked up his spoon, shoved in a tiny bite of turnips, and grimaced. Then he grabbed his glass of milk and took a long swig. He glanced proudly at Drew. “It ain't so bad, if you drink your milk real fast afterwards.”

With a serious expression, Drew nodded then mimicked his cousin's actions.

The adults shared private smiles.

Sarah sighed, glad that Drew's dislike of turnips had taken everyone's attention off her and helped her to relax. There was nothing like children to lighten the mood.

After the meal, Sarah helped scrape the plates. The boys were sent to the barn to do their evening chores, while the girls went out to water the garden. Jack started to follow the boys, but Sarah hurried to his side and tugged on his sleeve. He paused, gazing down at her. “I'd like you to stay while I talk to Gabe and Lara, if you don't mind.”

He nodded. “I reckon the boys will be all right on their own for a short while.”

“This shouldn't take long.” When she turned, Lara and Gabe were standing side by side near the counter, Gabe still holding his coffee cup. Lara looked a bit concerned.

Sarah glanced down and realized she was wringing her hands. She stuck one in her pocket and pulled out the newspaper ad then took a deep breath and blew it out quickly, hoping she didn't lose her nerve. “I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying for a while, and I have come to a decision.” She held up the ragged page. “This article from the newspaper says the government is going to be opening up another section of Indian land—the Kiowa, Comanche, and Apache reservation land left over after the allotment to individual members of those tribes. More than likely, it's the last section that will be available in the Oklahoma Territory. It will be handled by a lottery instead of a land run.” She drew in a breath as she read the curiosity in Gabe's eyes and worry in Lara's. “I've decided to go to El Reno to register and see if I can get some land of my own.”

Gabe's eyebrows shot upward while Lara's mouth dropped open. He set his cup on the cupboard counter and wrapped an arm around his wife, as if knowing she needed comfort. Sarah hated to hurt the couple who had been so kind to her for so many years and had loved her as a younger sister. She struggled for something to say to soften the blow. “You know how much I love you both”—she cast a glance at Jack—“all of you. But I can't stay here forever. Your family is growing, and you'll need my room soon.”

“We have plenty of space. There's no need for you to be concerned about that.” Lara's eyes begged her to reconsider.

Sarah walked to the table and held on to the top of a ladder-back chair. “There's more to it than that. I'm sure you figured I'd be married by now, but …” She shrugged. “I feel it's time for me to get a place of my own. If I'm fortunate enough to win a homestead, I'll pick land near one of the new towns being established. I have most of the money my father sent me, which I will use to have a house built and get the things I need initially.”

Lara stepped away from Gabe. “But what will you do until then? A woman can't live alone on the open prairie.”

“I won't be alone. All the others who win claims will be nearby.”

“But those will probably all be men. It wouldn't be safe for a woman alone.” Lara spun around to face her husband. “Can you talk some sense into her?”

He shrugged. “I'm sorry, sweetheart, but Sarah has the right to do what she feels God is calling her to do. Besides, how can you fuss at her when you rode in the land run? The lottery is a much safer option.”

“Gabe! I didn't have a choice—you know that. But Sarah does. She can't go alone. That's just foolhardy.” She turned to Jack. “Can't you be the voice of reason?”

Jack looked from one of them to another as if taking time to formulate his response. He stroked his chin, pursing his lips. “I guess it's time to admit that I've been thinking of doing the same thing.”

Sarah's heart jolted at the exact moment Lara gasped.

“You can't be serious, Jack.” Lara squeezed her forehead “What about Cody?”

“What about him? Things have been difficult on both of us since Cora died. I'm thinking a change would do us good. If we get land, we can settle there and start a ranch of our own. If not, we can stay and help Sarah for as long as she needs us, if that's all right with her.”

She nodded, unable to hold back her smile. “I would love that—if you're certain that's what you want to do.”

“I've been prayin' about it ever since I first heard about the lottery, and I'm startin' to believe it's what God wants me to do.”

“What about the church? What will we do for a pastor?” Gabe turned to refill his coffee cup.

“Barry Addams would be a good one to take over. I've been meeting with him for two years and have taught him nearly all I know about God's Word. He's a good man who loves the Lord. He'd be a responsible leader for the time I'm gone. If I don't win a homestead, at least we'll have had a change of scenery for a bit. And if Cody and I don't return, I believe Barry would be willin' to consider a permanent position as pastor.”

Lara tugged out a chair and sat down. “I feel like one of my children is leaving home. And I dread seeing you and Cody leave, Jack. We've loved having you here with us.”

“We've enjoyed it, too, but things change, sis.”

Sarah walked around the table, pulled out one of the chairs, and placed it so that she could face her dear friend, who was like a mother to her. She sat and took Lara's hands. “Please try to understand. This is something I feel compelled to do. I believe it's what God wants me to do.”

Lara gazed at her with watery eyes. “You've prayed about this?”

“Yes. Ever since I first heard the land might be opened for settlement. El Reno is not that far away. The train already goes there, which is where I need to register.”

“How far away is that?” Lara still didn't look convinced.

“Just west of Oklahoma City. A short train ride from here.” Sarah smiled, hoping to relieve her friend's worries. “It's about the same length of a ride from here to El Reno as it is to where Jo lives in Perry.”

Lara brushed her hand down the side of Sarah's cheek. “I still remember the quiet, reserved little girl you were when Jo first brought you to us—the girl who craved learning. You've grown into a lovely woman, whom I dearly love.” She ducked her head a moment then looked up, her eyes watery. “I always thought you'd stay with us until you married.”