Sarah's Child (3 page)

He drew back and looked at her again, and now the expression in his eyes had sharpened to a look of glittering awareness. He was too much of a man not to recognize her feminine response. His gaze dropped to her tremulous, generous mouth, her lips softly parted, and instinct drove him to dip his head to drink from her sweetness again. This time there was nothing light about the touch of his lips; it was a kiss that was man-hungry and fiercely demanding. She gasped, and he thrust his tongue into her mouth with masculine need and command, an intimate kiss that almost shattered her with delight, and she whimpered softly into his mouth. His arms cradled her to him, his body controlling hers as he took her down to the floor.

Her senses reeled; it was so like the few forbidden dreams shed had that she forgot where they were, forgot everything but the man who leaned over her, his mouth hot and tasting of passion. Her digging nails telegraphed her response to him, her body warming and arching to his, seeking the intoxicating heaviness of his weight.

There was no sense of time or location, nothing but the spiraling physical need that had flamed between them, unexpected and out of control. She felt his hands on her body, touching her breasts, dipping down beneath her skirt to rub her thighs and stroke intimately between them, wringing a wordless cry of need from her lips. No word of protest surfaced in her mind. She let him do as he wanted, mindless of everything but the delight his knowledgeable hands were bringing to her. He knew women, and his expertise made her wild. She offered her slim body for his delectation with no conscious thought of anything except how sweetly, hotly satisfying it was to be in his arms, to know his kisses and his caresses.

He surged to his feet, lifting her in his arms, her slight weight no trouble at all for his powerful muscles. In a few swift steps he was at the bed, lowering her onto it, coming down to join her with a low growl on his lips as he pulled her under him, spreading her legs with his and settling himself against her in a movement as natural and as basic as breathing.

Sarah clung to him, dizzy with the need he was arousing in her, her mouth tender and fervent under his. Shed loved him for so long, and at the moment she felt as if all of her wishes on falling stars were coming true. She was willing to let him do anything with her, and she knew what he wanted She could feel the virile hardness of his body as he pressed against her. The layers of clothing between them were too much, unbearable barriers that kept their fevered flesh apart.

Then suddenly heaven ended. He stiffened on top of her, then rolled away and sat up on the edge of the bed, bending over to drop his head in his hands. Damn you, he said thickly, his voice full of disgust. Youre supposed to be her friend, but youre rolling with her husband, in her bed.

Dazed, Sarah sat up and straightened her clothing, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She heard the accusation in his voice and found that she couldnt get angry with him; she understood how guilty he was feeling, and how emotionally vulnerable he was after the emotional storm hed just experienced. I was her best friend, she said shakily.

Youre not acting like it!

She slid off the bed, standing on wobbly legs. Were both upset, she said to his bent head, and her voice was wobbly too. We both went a little out of control. I loved Diane like a sister, and I miss her too. She began to retreat, unable to stand there any longer, feeling as if shed borne all she could for one night, and her tongue was out of control, babbling without her choosing the words shed say. Theres no need to feel guilty about it; there wasnt anything really sexual about it. It was just that we were both so upset

He shot off the bed, his face wrathful. Nothing sexual, hell! I was between your legs! Another minute, and wed have been having sex! What would you have called it then? Would we have been comforting each other? My God, you wouldnt know sex if it bit you on the leg! Youre too much of an iceberg to know anything about men, or what they want!

Sarah spun around, her face white, her green eyes stricken. Her generous mouth trembled. I dont deserve that, she whispered, and bolted for the door, flying down the stairs before he realized that she was leaving. With a roar, he started after her.

Sarah! he yelled furiously, reaching the front door just as she turned the ignition key and started her little red fireball of a car, jerking it into gear and reversing out of the drive with the squeal of rubber on pavement. He stood in the doorway, watching the red glow of the taillights until they disappeared around the corner; then he slammed the door shut and cursed violently for several minutes. He noticed that shed left the jacket to her suit, and he picked it up. Damn! How could he have said that to her? She was right; she hadnt deserved it. Hed lashed out at her because of his own guilt, not just over what had happened that night, but over the years hed spent looking at her and wanting to take her to bed, even though she was Dianes best friend.

Rome stared at the linen jacket in his hands, and his mouth tightened. Didnt Sarah realize what a challenge she was to men? She was so cool and pale and distant, so complete unto herself. She was devoted to her career, and she made it pretty plain that she didnt need a man for anything beyond casual companionship. It had been rumored for years that shed been the mistress of the chairman of the board, but Diane hadnt thought so, and he trusted Dianes judgment. Instead Diane thought that Sarah must have had a love affair that had gone sour, but as shed said more than once, Sarah was deep and kept a lot of things to herself.

He remembered the first time hed wanted Sarah; it had been at his own wedding. Hed been impatient to leave with Diane, and then hed seen Sarah, standing a little alone as she so often seemed to be, her white-blonde hair twisted up on top of her head, her pale face wearing a polite mask. Was she never hot or mussed, he had wondered. Never fidgety? Hed thought of how shed look if hed had her in bed with him, that pale hair tangled by the wildness of their passion, her mouth red and swollen from his kisses, her slim body dewy with perspiration. His own body had suddenly become taut, swollen with need, and hed had to turn away to disguise his condition. How hed resented her, because even at his wedding to Diane, hed been lusting after Sarah.

The years hadnt changed the situation. She was always aloof, cool to him, and she never stayed around if he came home while she was visiting Diane. He loved Diane and was faithful to her, totally satisfied with her in bed, but there always remained, in the back of his mind, the knowledge that he wanted Sarah. If shed given him the come-on, would he have remained faithful to Diane? He wanted to think so, but he couldnt be certain; look what had happened the first time hed kissed Sarah! Hed been ready to take her right then, on the floor, but hed had a moments concern for her soft skin and hed lifted her to the bed, a break in his concentration that had eventually stopped him. But she hadnt been cool and reserved in his arms; shed been warm and responsive, and her legs had parted for him without hesitation. Her cheeks had been flushed, and a few fine tendrils of hair had escaped then-confinement to curl enticingly around her temples.

That was how he wanted her: with that neat, aloof image of hers shattered. Hed come home early from a trip once, and shed been in the pool with Diane and the boys. Shed been laughing and frolicking like a child herself, her long hair loosened for once and floating around her like a fairy cloud. Hed changed into his own swimsuit and gone out to join them, and as soon as hed appeared, Sarah had stopped laughing. Shed been very casual about it, but shed made her excuses to Diane, hauling herself out of the water, and swiftly dried off before pulling on a ragged pair of denim shorts that only accentuated her long lovely legs. The sight of her in a pale yellow bikini had so aroused him that hed had to take a fast dive into the water, and when he surfaced, she was already walking swiftly away.

A man couldnt have asked for a better wife than Diane, or a more loving one. But as much as he loved her, as much as he still ached for her, he still wanted Sarah. It wasnt a question of love at all; the finer emotions didnt enter into it. His attraction to her was purely physical. Hed lashed out at her because, with her, sex would be more of a betrayal than it had been with those other nameless, faceless women. Theyd been only bodies, without personality. But he knew Sarah, and he couldnt wipe her identity out of his mind. He wanted sex with her; he wanted to watch her when she went wild beneath him, he wanted to hear her call his name during the throes of passion. And she was Dianes best friend.

Hours later Sarah curled numbly in bed, her tears finally exhausted, but she couldnt sleep. She felt battered, her insides torn apart with hurt. When the phone rang, she was tempted to ignore it, because no matter who it was, she didnt feel like talking to them. But any call at two oclock in the morning could be an emergency, and finally she reached over to lift the receiver. When she said hello, she winced at the sound of her own voice, which was still thick with the tears shed shed.

Sarah, I didnt mean

I dont want to talk to you, she interrupted, the sound of that deep voice shredding the fragile control shed gained over her emotions, and she began to weep again. The soft sobs were evident in her voice despite her efforts to hide them. I may not know anything about men, but you dont know anything about me! I dont want to talk to you anymore, do you hear?

God, youre crying. He groaned softly, a harsh, masculine sound that filled her with equal portions of pain and longing.

I said I dont want to talk to you!

He somehow divined her intentions and said Dont hang up on me! in sudden wrath, but she did anyway, then buried her face in the pillow and cried until her eyes were dry and burning.

You dont know anything at all about me, she said aloud into the darkness.

Chapter 2

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It was a good thing the next day was Saturday, because after a horrible night spent alternately crying and staring at the ceiling, Sarah slept late and rose still feeling tired, her eyes heavy-lidded, her movements slow. She forced herself to do her routine chores, then that afternoon flopped down on the sofa, too tired and uninterested to tackle anything else. She needed to shop for groceries, but simply couldnt face the hassle. A quick mental inventory of her cabinets reassured her that she wouldnt starve, at least not for a couple of days.

The doorbell rang, and she got up, answering the summons without thinking. As soon as she opened the door and looked up into Romes dark face, a feeling of despair settled on her shoulders. Why couldnt he have waited until Monday? Shed have recovered by then and wouldnt be at such a terrible disadvantage. She didnt even have the comfort of being properly dressed. Her long hair was loose and hanging down her back; her jeans were old, tight, and faded; and the oversize jersey she wore probably revealed the fact that she was bra-less. She fought the urge to cross her arms protectively over her chest, even when his eyes dropped to survey her from her feet, clad in blue socks, all the way up to her face, which was bare of even a trace of makeup.

Ask me in, he commanded, his voice even deeper than usual.

She didnt extend a verbal invitation; she couldnt. Instead she stepped back and opened the door, and he moved past her into the room. He was dressed casually, in well-cut tan slacks and a blue pullover shirt, but he still made her feel like something found in the city dump. Have a seat, she invited, finally controlling her voice enough to speak. He sat down on the sofa, and she seated herself across from him in an oversize armchair, unable to make polite chitchat, just waiting for him to break the tension by speaking.

Rome wasnt aware of any tension; he had been taken too much by surprise by her appearance, and he was having difficulty dealing with this startling new aspect of her character. Hed expected her to be dressed in heels, sleek black pants, and a silk blouse, her coldness firmly in place as a barrier between them. Instead she looked very young, very relaxed, and very sexy in those comfortable old clothes. She had the sleek, aristocratic grace of form and carriage that made it possible for her to wear anything, even an old football jersey, with casual elegance. He knew that she and Diane had been the same age, so that made her thirty-three, but there was a freshness about her bare face that took at least ten years off her age. This was how hed often imagined seeing her, or at least a variation on the theme. The remote poise hed expected was gone, and he realized that he had her at a disadvantage. With relish, he looked her over again, his eyes lingering on the obvious freedom of her breasts beneath the jersey, and to his surprise and intensified desire, a warm blush heated her cheeks.

Im sorry about last night, he said abruptly. At least, about what I said. Im not sorry I kissed you, or that I almost went to bed with you.

Sarah looked away, unable to meet his intense gaze. I understand. We were both

Upset. I know. He gave her a crooked little smile as he interrupted her. But upset or not, I kissed you the second time because I wanted to kiss you. Id like to see you, take you out to dinner, if you can forgive me for what I said.

Sarah wet her lips. Part of her wanted to jump at the opportunity, any opportunity, to spend time with him, but the other part of her was cautious, afraid of being hurt. I dont think it would be a good idea, she finally said, choking the words out of her dry throat. DianeDiane would always be in my mind.

His eyes went black as pain assailed him. And in mine. But I cant lie down and die with her; I have to keep living. Im attracted to you, and Ill tell you up front that I always have been. He ran an agitated hand through his dark hair, disturbing the lock that usually fell over his forehead. Hell, I dont know, he burst out in confusion, but last night, for the I could talk about them. You knew them, and you understand. Its all been dammed up inside me, and I can talk about it with you. Please, Sarah, you were Dianes friend. Now be my friend.