Sand and Clay (8 page)

Chapter Ten

“The usual today, Caroline?” George
asked her, ringing up her normal drink order on the cash register.

“Yes, please, but can you add a few
extra shots? I did not get enough sleep last night for sure. Plus I am in a
rush today, I was so late to work yesterday and definitely need to make it up
today.” She responded, George nodded in understanding.

“Well, then tell me quickly about
Saturday night! I still haven’t heard about the concert! What happened with
Logan Clay?” George asked excitedly. Caroline tensed up, she had forgotten that
she hadn’t been to the café since Friday so George didn’t know about all of the
drama and changes that had enveloped her life in just three short days, or even
what the last few hours of her night had looked like.

“Ugh, George, you don’t even want
to know. It’s been a confusing few days.” Caroline said to him and rolled her
eyes. George smiled at her.

“I still want to know anyways! Come
a little early tomorrow and tell me all about it, promise?” George said,
handing her cup of coffee.

She nodded her head at him, being
careful not to verbally say yes but instead just shake her head implying a yes.
She definitely did not feel like sitting down and reliving her last few days
through describing it to George. She felt bad since he was a good friend of
hers but she just couldn’t deal with all that right now.

She had to get to work and make up
for being late yesterday. She really didn’t need to get fired on top of
everything. She headed out of the coffee shop and chuckled at herself. Here she
was so worried about losing her job and she didn’t even like it.

Her dad wanted her to be a lawyer,
which is why she was working as an entry level paralegal, but there was not a
single bone in her entire body that wanted to be a lawyer. But as long as she
continued working here, her bills got paid and her dad didn’t pester her so she
figured that was a plus. Although he did check in with her at least once a week
about when she was going to take the BAR exam and become an official lawyer,
but she kept saying that she was still studying for it.

That seemed to work for now, but
she knew eventually she would either have to take the test or become a
disappointment to her family. Caroline took a deep breath and finished her last
few steps to the door of her office building, stepping inside for another day
of work.

~**~

Friday morning was one of
Caroline’s favorite times of the week because it meant it was the last day of
work before a weekend off. Most people in the law office left by 3pm at the
very latest on Fridays, so usually she could escape from there a little early
as well.

She had been working so hard the
last few days due to a large case as well as being behind from her late start
on Monday. She also was trying to stay in her boss’s good graces since he did
not take her tardiness on Monday well at all.

Now after all the extra hours she
had logged in the last three days, she was eager to get an early start on her
weekend. She had been so busy that she had not even had time to go to the Java
Jolt to pick up her morning coffee since Tuesday. Although, if she was being
honest with herself, she was okay with that because she had been avoiding her
conversation with George.

However, today she had left a
little early so she could chat with him. She hadn’t heard from Logan since he
had spent the night with her on Monday night and she was completely confused as
to what any of it meant. Her emotions went on constant swings from irritated to
lonely to angry to confused.

Today Caroline was sporting a gray
pencil skirt beneath a breezy sheer pink blouse and pink camisole, along with
nude high heels. She was feeling pretty confident so she wasn’t as anxious as
she thought she would be as she entered the coffee shop. She quickly got into
line and waived at George who had immediately spotted her. A few other baristas
nodded at her as well with smiles, she was such a regular that everyone knew
her.

A few minutes later she was finally
at the start of the line and handed her money over to the cashier, who was a
new woman that she didn’t recognize. George signaled to her that he would talk
to her over at one of the couches in the corner in a minute. So, she finished
up her transaction and took her coffee over to the lounging area.  George
followed a few minutes later and plopped into a large chair across from her
with a soda he was gulping down.

“So, did sparks fly?” He said
eagerly to her. Caroline smiled at him, trying not to blush.

“Oh, goodness, I don’t even know. It
was wild. The concert was great, obviously, you have heard his music.” George
nodded in agreement, he liked his music even though it certainly wasn’t his
favorite genre since he liked softer, easier listening.

“We went backstage after the concert
and had a lot of fun. There were definitely sparks happening and I thought
something was about to happen but then he told me he had a girlfriend.”
Caroline explained. George looked surprised.

“Yeah, that was my reaction too. He
wasn’t acting like someone who had a girlfriend. So, then nothing happened
obviously but then he came to my house on Sunday. Which you know, since you
gave him my address. Thanks for that by the way,” Caroline said sarcastically.

“Sorry! I didn’t know he had a
girlfriend! He seemed so infatuated with you. I wouldn’t have even guessed
otherwise.” George defended himself.

“Well, he said things are over with
the girlfriend. That really it's more of a professional relationship since she
is also his manager. He says he can’t really end things because of how wrapped
up she is in his career, but there is no romance left between them. At least,
that is what he claims. He also claims that he wants to be with me and figure
out how to end things with her, but then I haven’t heard from him since he
spent the night at my place on Monday.” Caroline continued.

“Oh wow, so I was right then! There
is chemistry there.” George said proudly, patting himself on the back and
smiling.

“Yeah, there is.” Caroline sighed,
“Ugh, George, I don’t know what to do. I am not the kind of girl that dates a
man involved with someone else. I don’t want to be some side fling. But he
swears things are ending with her, so I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, if it is meant to happen
then things will work out. I wouldn’t stress about it that much. If you know
that you don’t want anything to do with him while he has that girlfriend than
just tell him that and stick to it, make him have to raise the bar in order to
be with you. But from what you described, he sounds like a man in love, and not
with his girlfriend.” George said smiling, standing up to head back to work
since his break was almost over.

“Yeah you are right. That’s what I
will have to do, I guess. If I ever hear from him again, that is.” Caroline
said to George, but something suddenly caught her attention off to the side of
George. His eyes followed hers to see what she was looking at. The café had
several televisions and one of them was near George and on a morning talk show
where Logan’s face was smiling back at her.

The two stared at the television
for a moment reading the closed captioning since the volume was turned off. Logan
was being interviewed by two cheerful hosts smiling back at him. The camera
panned out for a moment though, which was when Caroline realized that Gina was
sitting next to Logan.

“Is that her?” George said to
Caroline, turning back to look at her as he pointed at the television.

Caroline couldn’t speak, but just
nodded in confirmation, her eyes glued to the screen. Logan’s arm was relaxed
across Gina’s shoulders and the words scrolling at the bottom of the screen
were discussing an upcoming tour.

“It’s going to be six months long
around the globe and it is going to be jam packed, international and east coast
to west coast finally ending in Las Vegas. Then I will be back home and
sleeping because I will be exhausted.” Logan was saying to the host, jokingly.

“And you know what they say, what
happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Gina chimed in, winking at the cameras, her
hand patting Logan’s knee.

“Will we be hearing any Vegas
wedding bells?” The host asked, laughing.

“I wouldn’t want to spoil the
surprise!” Gina replied smiling at the host and leaning over to Logan where he
responded by kissing her. Caroline jolted back in her seat at the sight of them
kissing. Logan was smiling, he didn’t even look phased. He looked perfectly
happy to be with her, cuddling up on the couch in front of the world. George
turned back and looked at Caroline, a worried look on his face.

“Looks to me like they are not as
done as he said.” George told her.

“Apparently not.” Caroline said,
her teeth clenched together. She looked away from the television, she wasn’t
going to watch the rest of this. She couldn’t. She stood up and took a gulp of
her coffee.

“I might as well head into work
early, no point in torturing myself by watching this.” Caroline told George.

“Sorry, Caroline. I am sure there
is an explanation for it though. Try to keep an open mind.” George called after
her as she headed towards the exit. She appreciated the advice but she was
tired of being open. Her heart had been open and he just kept hurting her. She
wasn’t going to be open anymore.

Chapter Eleven

Logan was stomping off of the set
of a morning talk show with Gina at his heels.

“Why are you even upset?” Gina said
to him.

“You practically just announced to
the world that we are engaged, Gina! I don’t know about you, but I don’t
remember proposing.” Logan responded, irritated.

“Yeah, but it’s only a matter of
time. We wanted this whole tour to go through before we thought about anything
else. So, we can announce our engagement officially after the tour is over.”
Gina said, shrugging and tossing her hair over her shoulder as she grabbed her
purse and followed Logan out of the studio.

“Gina, that is my point. I never
said anything about getting engaged. It’s like everything is a business
arrangement to you. Marriage isn’t a business, getting engaged isn’t a public
relations move. It’s like my opinion doesn’t even matter to you.” Logan said,
walking a little faster so that she would have to speed up to keep up with him.

“Logan, this is what is best for
your career and I am your business manager. The whole bad boy façade is not
getting the same ratings anymore, people want romance and to see you are a
relationship man. I have done several focus groups on it. So, that is what we
need to do. For your career. Really, I don’t think you appreciate how much I do
for your brand. The fact that you are even questioning me on this is just
self-destructive. Do you want to be a dried up rock star out of the limelight?”
Gina scoffed at him, getting into the passenger side of the car as Logan
climbed into the driver's seat. Logan shook his head in annoyance and sighed.  

“You’re right, I am sorry. I know
you do a lot for me.” Logan said, defeated.

He didn’t want to sit here and
argue with her for another few hours because he knew the result would be the
same either way. Gina just couldn’t understand the difference between business
and love.

Until last week, Logan probably
hadn’t known the difference either. Then he met Caroline. As he continued
driving back towards the penthouse, Gina kept talking about upcoming plans and
schedules but Logan had tuned out. He was remembering how beautiful Caroline
had looked when he first saw her one week ago exactly and the way she felt so
warm pressed against him when he woke up a few mornings ago. Her hair had been
a bit tossed about but her face was completely calm and peaceful.

She wasn’t wearing any makeup but
she still looked more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen. He felt like she
was made to fit him perfectly, carved into his side as if she was that missing
piece he had never been able to fill. A place that was now empty again as he
sat here with Gina instead.

It had killed him to leave early
before she had even woken up, but he didn’t know what else to do. He knew it
was cowardly, but he didn’t know what to say to her if she woke up. He knew she
wanted nothing to do with him while he was with Gina, and he couldn’t see how
he was ever going to get out of that.

When he had pulled his arm out from
under her, she had sighed gently and curled up into her pillow. He had leaned
down and kissed her forehead, luxuriating in the scent of her hair and the
softness of her skin. He hadn’t spoken to her since that night, but he had
thought about her every moment, but now he had practically just made out with
Gina on national television and he could only hope that Caroline had not been
watching. He didn’t know why he hadn’t tried to contact her, only that he
didn’t know what to say and he knew that she deserved better than what he was
currently offering her.

He was leaving tomorrow morning
super early for his six month tour, he dreaded going all that time without
seeing Caroline. He knew he wanted to try and see her before he left, but would
she even want to see him? And how would he find a moment away from Gina? She
had been glued to his side lately in preparation for the tour and every bit of
planning that went into it. Logan continued to think this over as he pulled
into his parking space below the building where his penthouse was.

The couple got out of the car and
rode the elevator up in silence and then went to opposite ends of the
apartment, as was the usual routine. Logan was in the bedroom finishing packing
up his bags for the tour. A few hours later he placed his bags by the elevator
doors and grabbed his paint brush to finish up painting. He wanted to complete
this before his tour, hoping maybe it would convince Caroline to see him
tonight.

He was almost done with everything
except the girl in the window, which was the only unpainted spot so far. He
started there first with gentle strokes, creating her figure. There was still a
rip in the side of the painting but he had taped the back of the canvas
together with strong masking tape which made it less noticeable. With a little
paint over the area, it wasn’t too hard to blend it in so it looked like part
of the painting.  As time slipped past, Logan was so absorbed in what he was
doing that he hadn’t realized that Gina was in the room watching him. 

“Who is she?” Gina said, standing a
ways behind him. Logan wasn’t paying attention and just kept painting. Gina
took a few steps forward and to his side, turning to look him in the eyes. He
finally noticed her and turned his head towards her.

“What?” He said to her.

“Who is she?” Gina asked again, her
hands folded over her chest. Logan sighed and went back to painting.

“Haven’t we gone through this
before, Gina?” he said to her.

“She isn’t just an inspiration to
you. I can see it on your face while you paint her.” Gina said to him, sadness
in her voice.

“Gina. It’s just a painting.” He
said slowly, still concentrating on his painting.

She continued to stand there and then
just slowly nodded her head and walked away, leaving the room. Logan let out a
sigh. He was glad she hadn’t blown up or gotten angry, but he felt guilty
because he knew he was hurting her. She had actually looked really sad, which
he hadn’t seen on her in awhile.

He stopped painting and put the
brush down and sighed again. He hadn’t seen her showing any type of real
emotion in a long time, it reminded him of the Gina he had first dated. He
looked at his painting of Caroline, almost entirely complete. He felt his heart
warm just at the thought of her, but then he looked towards the doorway that
Gina had walked through and he felt the guilt to be just overwhelming. He
headed over to find her.

“Gina?” Logan called out, walking
into the kitchen. She was standing at the island counter typing on a laptop
computer. Logan walked up behind her and circled his arms around her, pulling
her close to him. She breathed out a sigh of relief and leaned back into him.

“Logan.” Gina said softly, “This is
a nice surprise.”

He didn’t say anything but just
held her and kissed her neck. They rocked slightly back and forth together and
quietly spent a few moments just relishing the feeling of being themselves
again. It was like they were the old Logan and Gina again, feeling that warmth
together and being a couple instead of business partners.

“What happened to us, Gina?” Logan
whispered softly. She didn’t respond. She just closed her eyes and continued to
stay wrapped in his arms. She didn’t have an answer for him, she didn’t know
what had happened either. She knew that business had become more important than
the romance. They weren’t themselves anymore.

She wasn’t sure why he couldn’t
just be okay with the way things were now because they were pulling in eight,
nine, sometimes ten figures a year with the combination of his talent and her
business sense.  She felt a heaviness in her heart at the feeling of his arms
around her, like even though he was there with her, he still was somewhere
else.

“She isn’t just a painting to me.”
Logan said softly. Gina breathed deeply and nodded, pulling away from him.

“I know.” She said and then went
back to typing on her computer, completely disconnecting from him. He stood
there behind her for a few moments, then dropped his head and walked out of the
room. He didn’t know what to think right now, or how to feel.

~**~

Aralia was rummaging around
Caroline’s kitchen, tossing through each drawer.

“What are you looking for?”
Caroline asked, walking into the kitchen hearing all the clattering.

“A wine opener, of course. Where is
it? Mine is kept hanging right next to the fridge so it’s always in sight. I
don’t know why anyone would hide theirs away, no respect for the wine!” Aralia
joked. Caroline rolled her eyes and then pulled open a drawer that Aralia
hadn’t gotten to yet and pulled out her wine opener.

“Here you go, diva.” Caroline
laughed and then walked back to the living room. She was still in her skirt and
blouse from work, minus the high heels. She plopped down on the couch and
grabbed one of the magazines that Aralia had brought with her. The two girls
were spending the night just relaxing and chatting for a few hours.

They both agreed that last weekend
had been more partying than it should have been so they decided this weekend
was going to be only relaxing. However, that didn’t mean wine was off limits. You
had to have wine. It just goes without saying.

Aralia waltzed into the room a few
moments later and handed Caroline a cold wine glass filled with pinot grigio. She
took a sip and closed her eyes with pleasure just enjoying the taste after such
a long week at work. Aralia walked over to the television and slipped a DVD
into the player, getting the movie started. It was a recent romantic comedy
released onto DVD that they hadn’t seen yet and so they decided it would be
perfect for a girls night. Aralia plopped down on the couch and took a big gulp
of her wine.

Just as the movie credits were
beginning to start, Caroline’s doorbell rang. She hopped up to go answer it.

“Jackie finally made it!” Caroline
said to Aralia as she went to open the door. When she pulled open the door
though, she was surprised to see that Jackie wasn’t alone. Logan was standing
there next to her, holding a brown packaged rectangular package.

“I found him downstairs looking
like a kicked puppy, so don’t blame me!” Jackie said, waltzing right past
Caroline smiling at her with a wink, tossing her hands up in surrender hoping
Caroline wouldn’t be made at her. Caroline just stood there staring at Logan,
barely hearing what Jackie had said. She could hear Jackie and Aralia murmuring
in the other room now and could only imagine the gossip that was probably going
on right now.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your
evening.” Logan said, looking down at the ground. He looked back up at her and
smiled.

“Somehow I doubt that.” She
responded, crossing her arms and clenching her jaw in an attempt to show
confidence and indifference.

“I just had to see you, Caroline.
I’m leaving for tour tomorrow.” He took a step into the doorway, coming closer
to her, “You look so beautiful.” He said slowly, taking in every inch and curve
of her face. She blushed at his comments and leaned on her door frame.

“I heard, I happened to catch your
show this morning.” Caroline said, slightly tensing her eyes and clenching her
teeth. Logan breathed out loudly, groaning. He dipped his head backwards and
blew out a deep breath, frustrated.

“I was hoping you hadn’t seen that.
Caroline, that was just television. Gina and I, we aren’t like that, we just,
well I don’t know what we are, but it’s not like that. I didn’t even know she
was going to say any of that and I never told her anything like that. My
feelings are still the same, they haven’t changed.” He said to her, taking a
step closer to her, closing the gap between them. She didn’t move.

“Here, this is for you. I don’t
know if you will even like it, so you can throw it out if you want. I just
wanted you to have it.” He handed her the wrapped up painting.

She took it silently and pulled off
the brown wrapping paper, tossing it into the kitchen behind her. As she tossed
it, she saw Aralia and Jackie poking their heads around the corner. She gave
them a sharp look and they grinned and ducked away.  She lifted the unwrapped
painting up so that she could look at it and smiled at the beautiful
brushstrokes. She knew it was her, she had seen herself in his paintings
before.

She still loved it, her heart felt
like it was swelling in her chest and that he just understood her. They spoke
the same silent language and shared something neither one of them could
describe. She leaned it up against the wall and then turned back to look at
him. The two were still standing in her doorway.

“Caroline.” He said softly, leaning
toward her and putting his hands on her hips. He began to pull her towards him
but she put her arms up between them and leaned backwards, stopping him.

“What happened Tuesday morning? Why
didn’t you say goodbye?” she said firmly, holding her jaw tight again.

“I didn’t know what to say,
Caroline, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have left though, not without talking to
you.” He said, his head turned down and to the side slightly, looking at her. She
nodded her head but didn’t say anything, he leaned closer to her and kissed her
gently on the tip of her nose.

“I messed up, Caroline. Can you
forgive me?” he said, “I don’t want to go on this tour and be so far apart
thinking you are mad at me.” He paused for a moment looking at her, then
reached out and pushed a piece of hair off her face, tucking it back.

“You looked so beautiful and
peaceful when you were sleeping.” He said softly, a huskiness to his voice.

“I’m not mad, just disappointed,”
she said blushing at his compliment, letting the defensiveness slip out of her
body, as she allowed him to pull her closer to him, “and what about Gina?”