Samson and Sunset (24 page)

  That little conversation forged a bond
between my doctor and me. There was nothing I couldn’t talk to him
about, and believe me, he heard some sexy stories about Shay and
me. I needed a confidant and I’d found one. I know I added to his
marital sex life, that some of my stories turned him on. I wasn’t
stupid. I had good eyes and he was turned on!

  One afternoon after my examination, I
dressed slowly in front of my doctor, pulling each nylon on with as
much sensuality as I could, just to shake him up a bit.

  I told Shay about it later.

  “Callie, that’s not funny,” he
admonished. “You’re just being naughty. I don’t ever want you doing
that again, or you’re changing doctors.” But he ravished my body
for hours after I told him about it.

  On Halloween we took the kids
trick-or-treating. Kelly was a scarecrow and Wessy was a ghost.
Don’t know why we went out, as Kelly wasn’t quite three yet and
Wessy wasn’t even one. I guess we just liked doing it ourselves! It
became one of our traditions. We loved traditions. We’d start out
at the Big House, then go to the hired hands’ houses, then on to a
few houses in Westover, ending up in Hudson. We’d go around a city
block or two, and end up at my parents’, where they would have a
special late Halloween supper waiting for all of us.

  My mother was a woman of celebration.
I think she would have created a new holiday if it meant she could
cook and have us over. Halloween was pumpkin night. Mom and Dad
would get three large pumpkins, four soup-bowl sized pumpkins, and
two cute mini pumpkins. The two of them spent the day carving. They
would cut the top off first, in a zigzag so the lid fit perfectly.
Then they cleaned the pumpkins out and washed them real good. Mom
would fill one carved-out big pumpkin with homemade chicken noodle
soup, the other big one with chili. The third big pumpkin, she’d
cut down on four sides, then bend the sides down to make a tray for
her delicious sandwiches. She then filled the carved out bowl-sized
pumpkins with soup for the adults, and the carved out mini pumpkins
with soup for the kids.

  Mom had planned ahead several weeks
and made us all matching placemats. She had some beautiful old
green crystal she had gotten from her mother, which they’d brought
with them from Germany. Fall flowers adorned the center with a
candle on each side. The table was magnificent. It amazed me that
the kids would eat a bowl or two of soup each. Normally they
weren’t so crazy about soup, but the pumpkin bowls apparently
changed things. What a wonderful meal!

  I remember one year after we finished
dinner, I was helping Mom do the dishes and I noticed she had
blisters on her palms and fingers. I guess I’d never thought about
how hard it was to cut those pumpkins. She put her whole self into
everything she did.

  ***

We celebrated Thanksgiving at Mom and Dad’s
at noon—what a spread Mom put out, and she made it all herself.
Martha and her family were always there, sometimes Martha’s
in-laws, the Hines, would come for dinner, as Mom was from the
“more the merrier” school of thought.

  At the Westovers’, of course, the
evening meal was all fancy and formal. These were dress-up dinners.
The night started with cocktails. Then came the meal, and after
that, coffee in the formal living room. Maggie’s new cook, Hulda,
had hired several ladies to help with the meal. She had Weiman’s
Floral come out and decorate the table with arrangements. I always
thought the food was much better at my mom’s. It was so wonderfully
casual, unlike this grand soiree.

  It was the usual holiday crowd:
Grandma Lila, Grandpa Shannon, Shay’s sisters and Maggie and
Sterling’s best friends. I had grown close to Lila. We both watched
the same soap opera show, so we’d begun calling each other every
day to discuss the latest plot twist and put in our own two cents.
Lila was a hard woman to love. She seemed cold and distant. I don’t
think she was ever close to any of her daughters-in-law or
grandchildren. But Lila and I had somehow forged a bond. I truly
loved her and I knew she loved me as much as she could love.

  ***

We had an early Christmas at Mom and Dad’s on
the 24th, then out to Grandma Lila’s and Grandpa Shannon’s for the
big family Christmas Eve. This was the Christmas I knew Lila loved
me. Everyone had opened their gifts, all the adults were visiting
and the kids were all busy playing with their new toys. Lila came
across the room, tapped me on the shoulder and whispered,
“Kathrine, grab a jacket and let’s go outside for a breath of fresh
air.”

  It was a winter wonderland outside;
cold and brisk, with a bright full moon that lit the snow up,
making every ice crystal and snowflake glisten.

  Lila and I walked around the outside
of the house.

  “Kathrine,” she said, her breath
making clouds in the cold, “I’m so glad you’re a part of this
family. You make everything sweeter.”

  Then she took my hand and slipped
something into it; a hundred dollar bill.

  “That’s a little something for you
from me, my dear one,” she said. “No one needs to know.”

  I just hugged her. I think it took her
aback at first, but then she gave me the warmest hug back. Thinking
back on it, I never saw anyone of her family members hug her.
Sometimes she’d just pass me a wink.

  Christmas Day at the Westovers’,
everyone was dressed to the nines. The two young children added a
little chaos and life. Things didn’t stay perfect or go as planned,
especially the gift opening. Kelly stopped after opening every gift
to play with it, so we just moved on until she was ready to open
another gift. Amazing how these little ones so change the lives of
the people around them. I was thinking to myself, ‘Next year there
will be three.’

  ***

I had forgotten that Shay would be going to
Kansas for the four-day cattle auction after Christmas, but I now
knew the routine. So when I helped him pack, I didn’t mention the
good clothes he packed.

  He came home in time for New Year’s
Eve, and we went out with Kevin and Karen Poole to the club for
dinner and dancing. I didn’t have to wear maternity clothes yet, as
I had only gained two pounds. So I wore a red silk blouse with a
mock turtleneck, a tight black skirt that landed about three inches
above my knees, black nylons with a black lace garter belt that
matched my lace panties and bra, a two inch black patent leather
belt, and black stiletto heels (which were the big thing right
then.) I also wore red and black earrings and a matching necklace,
highlighted with silver, which I wrapped around my neck several
times, letting the rest drape down in front, almost to my waist.
The cherry on top was a long red silk scarf draped around my neck
and shoulders. It was a real classy outfit, one I received many
compliments on. (And don’t forget the platinum-white, 1960s beehive
hairstyle, of course.)

  Shay was having plenty to drink,
dancing with all his old girlfriends. I was sitting at the table
most of the night by myself. Kevin was dancing with Karen. Out of
the blue some guy came to the table and asked me to dance. I
accepted. We were dancing a slow dance, when I noticed Shay had
just caught a glimpse of me on the dance floor.

  He walked up to me and said, “What the
hell do you think you’re doing, Callie?” Then he looked at the guy
and said, “Get your hands off my wife.”

  “Shay,” I said, “We’re just dancing. I
don’t even know this guy.”

  “You just shut, Callie,” Shay said as
he grabbed my arm and pulled me from the dance floor.

  When we got to the table I sat down
but I could see Shay was still angry. It was that hard liquor anger
I had seen before. He wasn’t over it yet. I was trying to just let
things cool down, when Shay grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the
chair toward the door. Outside it was snowing softly, a real light
dry snow.

  We had parked way back in the parking
lot, so no one would hit the Impala. It was quite dark out there
and Shay forced me toward the car.

  “Shay what are you doing? My purse is
inside, and my coat...” I said in a soft voice. I didn’t want to
make him any angrier. I thought he was taking me home.

  “If you want to act like a slut, I’ll
treat you like a slut, Callie,” Shay said, pushing me over the
trunk of the Impala.

  He pulled up my skirt, forced my
panties down and had sex with me right there in the snow, with me
on my stomach, face down on the trunk of the Impala.

  “We’ll be here all night until you
climax, so you decide if you want to enjoy it as much as you were
enjoying your little boyfriend on the dance floor.”

  I knew he meant it, so I let my
inhibitions down. I told myself to just concentrate on having sex
with Shay. It must have been about twelve minutes or more and it
was all over. Could I have faked it? No. Shay always knew. Well, I
can honestly say that was the only time I had sex with Shay that my
temperature didn’t reach 278.5 degrees. I was freezing.

  “Pull up your panties. Pull down your
skirt. Straighten yourself up,” Shay ordered. Then he took my arm
and said, “We’re going back in, and I don’t want to see you out of
your chair the rest of the night, unless it’s to go to the
restroom.”

  I was in shock. Shay just didn’t treat
me like that. I was also numb from the cold. He parked me in my
chair and was off to be with all his friends. Maybe seeing me with
someone else had triggered him to think about Frank, I thought.
Maybe that was something he’d been holding back that surfaced
because of the hard liquor.

  Karen asked where we’d gone and I said
something to the affect that we’d gone out to get some air. I was
really pissed at Shay. But this is where I knew when to shut, and
just let it pass until he was sober. I remember he wouldn’t let me
drive home; he drove. Yes, he was a good driver, but the fact is,
he was drunk, and he drove fairly fast. I noticed him turn and look
at me several times while he drove. Then he pulled into the
driveway of someone’s farm and parked.

  “Come here, princess,” he said gently,
pulling me across the front seat of the car, and putting both his
arms around me. “I’m sorry, but you just drive me crazy. I can’t
stand the thought of anyone touching you. Whenever we walk into a
room all the guys look at you.”

  “I don’t see that,” I said.

  “Well, I do,” he snapped. “I’m sorry I
wasn’t at the table to kiss you at midnight. I was so mad at you. I
couldn’t. But I want to kiss you now.” And he did, a long, tender,
loving kiss.

  Now this was my Shay. He kissed me for
about an hour—long, gentle, sensual kisses. Before we backed out of
the driveway to head home, he said over and over, “I love you so
much, Callie, and you’re mine.”

  I was beginning to realize Shay
actually thought he owned me. That New Year’s Eve was a far cry
from last year, when I had just had Wessy and Shay surprised me
with dinner at the hospital. Maybe that was the best place to be on
New Year’s Eve.

  Shay was pretty sober by the time we
got home. It was as if nothing had happened. Just a Shay and Callie
love-in, except, in my heart there were tears. Inside I was crying
for the little baby in my womb. But I buried it. I told myself it
was a onetime thing and it was over. Everyone has a bad day once in
a while. Shay was entitled to one.

  ***

When Valentine’s Day came around, I got the
children each a small candy-filled heart and a cute card. I got
Shay a big sexy red heart filled with his favorite—chocolates with
Maraschino cherries; plus a very special card telling him how much
I loved him, through thick and thin. I thought I’d make a pot roast
with potatoes, cabbage, carrots, and onions, plus gravy from the
drippings. I’d make an apple crumb pie and a heart-shaped red
velvet cake for Kelly and Wessy, using Cookie’s old baking
pans.

  When Shay left to go to work that
morning, I told him I’d planned supper for around 6:30 that
evening. I asked if he’d get in early enough to shower so we could
all be at the table by then.

  To my surprise, Shay came home at 2:30
that afternoon; showered and came into the kitchen.

  “Hi, my princess,” he said.

  “Shay, why are you home so early, is
something wrong?”

  He just looked at me. Then he went to
our bar, got out four bottles of hard liquor, and set them on the
table. He got the three bottles from the upper kitchen shelf, and
the five bottles he had in the cupboard, unopened for guests. He
set all the bottles on the kitchen table.

  I was standing in front of the kitchen
sink watching Shay in action. What is he doing? I thought to
myself. He walked over to the sink and put his arms around my waist
and kissed me, then he lifted me off the floor and moved me several
feet from the front of the sink.

  As I stood there watching, Shay took
each and every bottle of hard liquor that was in our house and
poured it down the kitchen sink. Then he stood there with his hands
braced on the counter for a few seconds, just looking down into the
sink, like he was thinking. When he turned around, I saw tears
rolling down his face.

  He walked over to me, put his arms
around me, and said, “Callie, I give you my solemn promise that
from this day forward I will never again let hard liquor touch my
lips. Never another drink of that hard liquor, it does bad things
to me, things I don’t like. I did something that hurt you and I
don’t excuse it on account of liquor, but it was a contributor, so
that crap is out of my life. I love you so much, Callie.”

  He cradled me in his arms like a baby.
“That is my Valentine’s gift to you. I got you a card and a little
something, but I’ll give you that tonight. I don’t ever want to
lose you, Callie.”

  By now we were both crying and holding
each other. To me it was always more than a Valentine’s gift. For
me it was Shay acknowledging what he had done. I know he knew it
was so bad he couldn’t talk about it. But actions do speak louder
than words.