Safety (8 page)

“And you took her back to your den?”

“It was my older brother Cain’s den.”

Alder told her briefly about the pack he’d spent most of his youth in. The pack had been formed by Cain, the older half-brother who had liberated Alder and Hale from the pack of their birth.

“Cain was only a few years younger than I am now, and he had wanted a mate for a while. We all thought it would be a good solution. She could live in our pack, be safe from her husband, and Cain would have a mate.”

“So what went wrong?”

“Everything,” he said, frowning. “Dawn and Cain fought constantly. She was a free spirit and my brother… he had very little tolerance for people who didn’t obey him.”

Alder let out a sigh. “It wasn’t just that. As time passed, her story about her former life began to seem more and more contrived. When the truth eventually came out, Cain was furious.”

“What was it?”

“There never was an abusive husband. When she was a teenager, she’d gotten pregnant. Her parents forced her to marry the father, a boy only a couple years older than her. She wasn’t happy with the relationship, or with being a mother, so a year after the child was born, she ran away.”

Taylor’s gut twisted. “She left her baby?”

Maybe it was her own life experience, but abandoning a child was something she just couldn’t wrap her head around.

Alder nodded. “Cain was disgusted when he found out, but by then, she was already pregnant with his son. It was no secret that he regretted taking her for a mate and gradually, the pack began to ostracize her.”

“And you felt bad for her?” Taylor guessed.

“I was fourteen then. Hale and I had always been close, but that was around the time he began to take interest in females. I’d always thought I’d have a mate of my own, so sleeping around with females felt wrong to me.”

Taylor’s lips curved at the thought of teenaged Alder and Hale being so different, even then.

“So you both needed a friend, then?”

“More or less,” Alder agreed. “I would listen to her complain about my brother or the women in the pack. She would tell me about her life among humans. We grew very close.”

Alder paused, and when he spoke again, there was a subtle change in his tone. Bitterness.

“When my nephew was born, she refused to touch him outside of feeding times, and even then, she always seemed uncomfortable. She said that my nephew reminded her of the child she’d left behind and that she was afraid of getting attached to him. I believed it at the time. I pitied her.”

Alder told her that after that, Cain didn’t want anything to do with Dawn. They slept in separate rooms and while she was fertile, he sent her away.

“They might as well have not even been mates,” Alder said. “And that’s exactly how I rationalized it when we were together for the first time.”

“How old was she?”

He arched a brow at her. “Worried I was being manipulated?”

“Well…”

“You’re probably right,” he said, looking away again. “I was fifteen, she was around the same age as you. Hale was the only one who knew, and he did his best to warn me against her, but I was in love.”

Taylor had been trying to remain neutral towards Alder’s ex, but now, she officially hated her. She was beginning to see why Hale had been so suspicious of her when Alder had brought her home.

“I got her pregnant.”

A rock dropped in her stomach.

“Oh…”

“Not intentionally, but it happened. Cain didn’t know it was me. Cain had suspected for a while that she’d been having an affair with Hale, but he never did anything about it. When he found out that she was pregnant, though, he snapped.”

I would, too,
Taylor thought. Dawn did not sound like a person who had any business having children.

“He kicked Dawn and Hale from the den.”

She asked, “Wait, why Hale?”

“It’s difficult to explain. Hale had a reputation for sleeping around and he’d always been rebellious. I, on the other hand, had always been loyal and obedient. When I told Cain that I was the father of Dawn’s pup, he thought I was covering for Hale. To make things worse, Hale refused to implicate me and tried to take the blame.”

“What about Dawn? Didn’t she tell him the truth?”

“Cain refused to listen to anything she had to say, though she didn’t have much to say on the matter anyway. She wasn’t happy about the pregnancy and became very withdrawn.”

“So what happened? After Cain kicked them out?”

“I went with them. Everyone assumed it was because Hale and I were close. The three of us found a small territory and even tried forming our own pack. For a few months, Dawn even seemed happy, but it didn’t last.

“Hale hated her and he didn’t bother trying to hide it. They fought all of the time, and Dawn eventually told me that she wanted him gone. Hale didn’t want to force me to choose between them, so he left and took up with a few females from a nearby pack.

“I thought that with Hale making himself scarce, things would get better. Instead, Dawn was miserable. Without Hale’s help, I had to provide for her on my own and nothing I did ever made her happy.

“It seemed like she was always ‘sick’. Sick of eating meat, sick of wearing pelts, sick of living in a den. I got fruits and vegetables for her, I had Hale get his females to make her clothes, and I even built her a house.”

Taylor rubbed his back, not knowing what to say. She understood now why Alder had been so quick to take her side when she said she wanted to stay in her cabin.

“Eventually,
I
got sick of hearing her complain about everything. We got into a fight and I told her that if she hated being with me so much, she should just go back to her husband. And, she agreed.”

“Oh, Alder…”

He gave her a lop-sided smile and pinched her cheek. “Don’t give me that look. It was a long time ago.”

Taylor nodded and allowed him to continue.

“We decided that once she had the pup, I’d take her back to her old home. Problem was, I had no way of taking care of a newborn pup on my own. I turned to Hale for help and he suggested we go back to Cain’s pack.”

“But didn’t he kick you out?”

“Yes, but it had been over half a year at that point. We’d hoped he’d had time to cool off. We also didn’t think he would turn us away when Dawn was so far along.”

“So, did he let you come back?”

Rather than answer the question, Alder said, “Hale and I took her together. The trip back to Cain’s pack took nearly a week and it put a lot of strain on Dawn. There was no rush to get there. She wasn’t due for nearly two months, but I was pissed off and resentful, so I didn’t listen to her when she said she was tired, or in pain.

“She went into labor the day we arrived at Cain’s pack. She didn’t make it to the next morning.”

Taylor bit down on her lip. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but from the look of resignation on his face, she could tell that, true to his words, he had made peace with this a long time ago. So instead, she put her hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze.

“I can’t believe Hale would bring something like that up,” she said.

She had seen many sides to Hale, but hadn’t thought him capable of being quite so cruel.

“He’s in love with you.”

Taylor’s throat caught. “Um, I don’t think so.”

Alder gave her a reproachful look, but soothed it with a kiss to her temple. “I think I know my brother better than you do.”

Taylor wanted to ask him why he thought Hale loved her and how he felt about that, but given the nature of their conversation, she decided to let it go. Alder had been through so much. He deserved someone who was going to love and cherish him. Not someone who was hung up over his brother.

I’m not in love with Hale.

I’m not in love with Hale.

I’m not in love with Hale.

Gathering her resolve, she said, “Well, it doesn’t matter what Hale thinks he feels for me, because you’re the man I’m in love with, not him. You and I are going to have a great life together, and maybe even a family.”

Firelight danced in Alder’s eyes as he stood, lifting her up off the floor and carrying her over to the bed. He laid her down gently and placed a hand over her belly.

“Nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life with you and our pups.”

Her nose crinkled. “How many of these puppies are you wanting to have?”

Alder considered his response for all of a second, before saying, “At least six or seven.”

Taylor snorted and swatted at his head as he moved to kiss her. “How about two?”

“How about eight?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re a horrible negotiator.”

“Really? Sounds like I’m winning.”

She laughed and tried to push him off her, but Alder was persistent. Soon, their wrestling lost its playfulness, evolving into a fevered sensuality.

That night, they came together, and in the raw moment of intimacy, Taylor was certain that she could put Hale behind her and become a woman worthy of Alder’s love.

“There’s a crack in this one,” Holly said, holding the speckled egg up to Taylor’s face.

Taylor scowled, snatching the egg from the fox shifter. She rolled it around in her fingers, searching for the blemish. “Where?”

Holly waved her index finger at a vague area of the egg. “Right there. Are you blind?”

Taylor leaned against the fence and took a deep breath so as not to freak the hell out.

It had been three days since the incident with Tulip, who was still at large. Thanks to shifter healing, Holly had made a speedy recovery, though there were still angry pink scars on her throat. From the moment she could get up and walk, Holly had taken to hanging around the cabin. She claimed that she was hoping Tulip would return to the area, but Taylor believed it was because most of the shifters in the den were openly mocking her.

Feeling bad for Holly, Taylor was really making an effort to be friendly, not that Holly appreciated it.

Placing the egg back in the basket, Taylor said, “Look, do you want it, or don’t you?”

“You’re really being a bitch today,” Holly said.

I’m being a bitch?

Taylor grit her teeth as Holly took another egg from the basket.

“This one’s cracked, too. Look.”

Holly proceeded to crack the egg against the fencepost.

“You just cracked it open!” Taylor said, staring at Holly in disbelief.

“No, I didn’t. It had a fissure. I exposed its weakness for you. You’re welcome. Also, there must be something wrong with your quail. Their eggshells are terrible. What are you feeding them?”

Shaking with anger, Taylor picked up the basket and threw it onto the ground. The eggs splattered onto Holly’s feet.

“Now they’re all broken. Are you happy?”

Taylor tried to step past her, but Holly grabbed her, clamping a hand on each of Taylor’s shoulders.

“Whoa,” Holly said, blinking in surprise. “Are you okay?”

It was the first time anyone had asked her that in days, and even though Holly was the last person she wanted to break down in front of, Taylor realized that Holly literally was the only person she could break down in front of.

Lark had been distant for days. She said she was busy with the baby raccoons—which Alder had allowed her to keep at the den—but Taylor knew Lark was upset with her for taking Glenn’s side the day that Holly was attacked.

Glenn was part of the guards that were now posted at the perimeter of Taylor’s piece of land. By Alder’s orders, they weren’t allowed to intrude on Taylor’s privacy, and Glenn took the command very seriously. She’d only seen him in passing and hanging out with him without Lark didn’t feel the same, anyway.

Hale had been nowhere to be seen since the night of the fight. Literally nowhere. Taylor had even pretended like she wanted to help with cleaning duty yesterday just to get a glimpse of him, but he hadn’t been with the hunters. She wanted to ask Alder about him, but she couldn’t bear for Alder to know how much she wanted to see his brother.

At this point, Alder was the only person left that she could turn to, and she had the feeling that was going to change soon.

Unable to articulate all of this through the ensuing onslaught of tears, Taylor said, “Every…body—
hic
—hates me.”

Holly took her by the arm and guided her towards the porch. “That’s ridiculous. A lot of people dislike you, sure, but ‘hate’? That’s a very strong word.”

Taylor allowed Holly to sit her down on the front steps.

“I never even used to care about having friends or socializing or any of that sort of stuff,” Taylor said, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “But there’s nothing to do out here in the woods and I’m so lonely.”

Holly patted her on the shoulder in an awkward gesture of comfort. “You have Alder. Want me to go get him for you?”