Safe Word (6 page)

“Craig Mitchel won’t survive outside of prison. It is only a matter of time before they lock him back up, if they even let him go.” Brock sighed as he stared off at the dancer who had focused her attention on him as well. “I’ll see what I can dig up and if I can get it to stick.”

“Get it done.”

He nodded, not meeting my gaze. I grabbed my drink. Taking a long gulp before slamming it back down and pushing to my feet.

“You’re not even going to stay and watch the end of the dance? That’s just rude.” He grinned.

“I don’t have time for your Norman Bates shit, Brock. I have business to handle.”

“Anything you would like to share with the class?” He laughed as he threw a few bills on the stage. I shook my head and made my way to the door, squinting in the blinding sunlight that assaulted me as I opened it.

I wasn’t sure what made me feel sleazier, Brock or a seedy strip joint in the middle of the day. I slid into my car and tossed the files about Amber next to me. I wanted to sit down and go over her past, see what else I hadn’t known about her, but I had bigger things to worry about.

I tried to push all thoughts of the past from my mind as I made my way back across town to my place. I needed to keep my head in the game and forget about feelings if I wanted to get this done.

Chapter Four
I Won’t Bite

“You can sit with me for an hour, but if anyone comes to the door you have to go into that room. It’s safer for you in there. I’m the only one with the key.”

She cocked her head to the side as she thought that over. She was a smart girl. I wasn’t just trying to keep her in; I needed to keep her away from the others.

“I will. I promise.”

“Go sit on the couch. The remote is on the coffee table.”

I watched her walk toward the couch, tugging at her plum-colored dress as she sat down. I headed to my bedroom to get her something more comfortable. I knew she was feeling exposed and maybe letting her cover herself up a little would help her relax.

I grabbed an old pair of gray sweatpants and one of my white T-shirts for her, setting my beer on top of my dresser.

“I thought you would want…” I stopped dead in my tracks as Lily stood in front of me with her arms extended. Her fingers gripped the handle of a kitchen knife. Stupid fucking bitch.

“Could be worse. You could have found my gun.” As her eyes flicked to the kitchen I dropped the clothes and gripped her arms as I pushed her backward. She went off like bomb, her legs flailing as she struggled to connect with my skin. I backed her up against the wall, using my body to pin her in place. I angled my hip in between her thighs and forced myself against her so she could no longer kick. My fingers gripped her arms tightly, but she was refusing to drop the knife.

“I guess play time is over,” I whispered in her ear as I drew in a deep breath, filling my lungs with the smell of her soap. A sob ripped through her body and the knife fell from her finger tips and clanked on the hardwood floor. “Shh…” I tried to sooth her as I released her arms and brushed her hair back from her face. I was brought back to the last moment I had seen her, in front of the police officer. We had planned to run away together. I wished I could promise that to her again, but fairy tales are for children.

“I hate you,” she whispered and the trip down memory lane was over.

“Good.” I pulled my body back from hers and grabbed the knife from the floor. “That just might keep us both alive.” I needed to keep my head clear. Drudging up old feelings would only cause me to make a rash decision. I knew it was already too late for that. I walked across the living room and grabbed the clothes I had gotten for her. I held them out, the knife still in my other hand.

Lily never took her eyes off me as she pushed away from the wall. I knew she was scared, and it made me sick to know that she thought I would do something like that to her. As she got closer she kept her chin up in defiance, but I could see her shaking like a leaf. She reached out and gripped the clothes, but I didn’t release them. I pulled them closer, yanking her inches from me.

“If you try to hurt me again, you better pray you fucking kill me.”

She swallowed as her chest rose and fell rapidly. I had made my point. I let go of the clothing and she hurried into the spare room to change, leaving the door wide open out of fear of being locked in. I sank down onto the leather couch and flicked through the television channels.

When Lily finally glanced out of the doorway, I didn’t look at her. I had put her through hell already today, and I didn’t want to make things worse. I was actually kind of proud to see her fight back against me. She walked slowly across the room and sank down on the edge of the couch, pushing herself into the side to stay as far away from me as possible.

“I won’t bite.”

“I have no idea what you’re capable of anymore.” She folded her arms over her chest.

“I’ve fed you, clothed you, and given you shelter. I can’t be all that bad.”

“You kidnapped me, made me eat runny tuna and wear clothes ten sizes too big.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Something inside of her refused to give up.

“They look good on you.” I smiled and as her eyes caught mine. I cleared my throat and focused on the television.

“You’re going to go to jail for this,” she snapped. I turned the volume up.

“I’m not going anywhere.” All traces of humor were gone.

“You can’t hold me against my will.”

“Can’t I? I believe I am.” I raised an eyebrow at her and she narrowed her eyes.

“You’re a monster.”

Without thinking I pushed myself across the couch, hovering over her as she pushed herself deeper into the cushions.

“Maybe if things had been different all those years ago this wouldn’t be happening, but this is who I am now. I’m not the boy next door who is going to come and save you. He’s dead.” I regretted my choice of words as soon as they left my mouth.

“It’s just a storm, Rose.” I extended my hand from the protection of the pavilion and let the drops of water fall into my hand. I turned back to Rose who had her arms across her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks.

“It scares me.”

I walked over to her and ran my hand through her hair as I searched her face.

“You can tell me anything.” I looped my arms around her back and pulled her against my chest. After a moment she began to speak.

“When my mother kicked my real dad out it was storming like crazy. The roads were flooded and we even had a tornado watch.” I rubbed her back as she took a moment to compose herself.

“It’s okay,” I whispered into her hair.

“He was in his office packing some paperwork. I wanted to give him something to remember me by. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, ya know? I was only ten.” She sniffed and rubbed my chest as she continued to talk. “I grabbed my participant ribbon from ice skating. I was horrible.” She let out a sad laugh. “But my dad was always there encouraging me, telling me how great I was.”

“I bet you were amazing.” She pulled back from me to look at my face and I wiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb.

“The storm was getting worse. As I walked down the hallway, thunder cracked so loud I thought it was inside of the house. I took off for his office.” Her face froze in pain from the memory and she completely broke down. I grabbed her in my arms as her knees began to give way beneath her.

“You don’t have to tell me, Rose. It’s okay. Shh…”

“At first I thought he was so upset that he was lying over his desk, crying. I thought he was so scared to leave me.”

My body stiffened as I realized where the story was going. My arms tightened around Rose. I’m sure I had to have been hurting her, but she didn’t pull away from me.

“He shot himself right there for me to find him. He didn’t care if he never got to see me again. He didn’t care.” Her sobs took over, and she tried to speak but nothing came out but painful cries.

“I don’t believe that.” My words had cut her deeply, but she struggled to keep her composure.

I slowly raised myself up and sat back in my seat. I was letting her get under my skin. I needed to fucking make a point and prove to her who was in charge. There are many out there who wouldn’t have been as nice as I was being at that moment.

“Go to your room.” I picked up the remote and turned the television off. Lily sat frozen in her seat. “Go or I will make you,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I will listen to you…”

I grabbed her wrist and dragged her behind me to the spare bedroom.

“Last chance.”

Lily walked by me, making sure to look me in the eye before she stepped inside the door. If she acted like this when any of the guys came by, she would be lucky to make it out of this apartment alive. She needed to learn some fucking manners. I pulled the door closed and locked it.

The next few hours I paced the floors as I listened to her begging and pleading with me to be let go. She offered up her silence and also sexual favors. I had to give it to her, she was a survivor. When the room finally fell silent I pulled on the rest of my clothes and headed out onto the fire escape.

It was nearly two in the morning. I could find someone to take my mind off this situation. If Lily noticed I was gone, her screams would do her no good; the two floors below my apartment were empty. Her pleas would fall on deaf ears. She should thank me for not drugging her like the others.

I hit up Luna, a little local joint that stayed relatively empty, making it a great spot to relax without being noticed. I ordered up a double shot of Jack and knocked it back, ready for another. I scanned the room for someone to take home but the place was practically dead. Everyone looking for a partner had already paired up. I needed to do something, or someone, to get my mind off of Lily back at my place in my oversize clothing.

“It’s been awhile,” Amber called from behind me. I turned around on my stool and drank back my next shot.

“Yes, it has.” I scanned the dirty blonde in front of me. She was wearing a leather skirt cut short enough that her ass cheeks hung out of the back, and her glittery gold top was more like a fucking Band-Aid. Her hand landed on my thigh, fingers splayed as she moved them toward my crotch.

“Want to get reacquainted?” She ran her tongue over her upper lip and smiled. Anything to get my mind off Rose.

“Hey, Cheech, you mind if we use the supply room?” I called over my shoulder to the bartender. I didn’t wait for his response. He knew who I worked for. I grabbed Amber’s hand and let her lead me behind the bar to the room that held the liquor bottles. As soon as the door closed behind me she shoved me back against it and dropped to her knees.

“Just like old times,” I said and laughed as she undid the button of my jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down.

“Looks like a storm is blowing in.” Her eyes locked on mine and I ran my hand over the mess of blonde curls. Her tongue shot out and licked the tip of my cock before she sucked it into her mouth. I let my eyes close and my head fall back against the door with a quiet thud.

As soon as I did, I pictured Lily pressed up against my wall, her perfect tits pushed against my chest as she panted.

“Fuck! Spare me the fucking weather report. It doesn’t matter anymore. Only thing that should be blowing is you,” I mumbled as I gripped Amber’s head and forced myself deeper into her mouth. Her tongue ring pulled me back from my fantasy.

“You don’t like it?” Amber had pulled back from my dick and was looking up at me through contact blue eyes.

“Fucking try harder.”

Her lips wrapped around me again and to her credit, this girl could suck like a fucking hoover, but I couldn’t get my body to comply.

“Too much fucking whiskey,” I mumbled and pushed her back. I zipped up my pants and yanked the door open, leaving Amber sitting alone on the floor.

I hurried back to my apartment, pissed off and feeling more stressed than when I’d left. A lot of women have been in my bed over the years and I haven’t given a single fuck about any of them, so why Lily? I’d never even slept with her, yet somehow she had gotten inside my head. As I slipped through my window, I listened for any sounds coming from the apartment. It was silent and she had slept right through my leaving as anticipated.

I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my sneakers as I headed into my bedroom. My jeans were still unbuckled and riding low on my hips as I fell back onto my bed and scrubbed my face with my hands. All of these years I wanted to find Rose, and now she was a few feet from me. If I managed to keep her alive through all of this, she would never want to talk to me again.

Chapter Five
Two Fucking Weeks

I opened my eyes as I listened. The apartment was silent and, for a moment, I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed Rose being here. I sat up and stretched before digging into my pocket and pulling out the keys that unlocked the padlock on her door.

Curled up on the small mattress on the floor was Lily, wearing only my oversize white T-shirt and panties. She must have taken the sweatpants off last night due to the heat. Her long, tan legs stretched out below her. I walked slowly toward her, making sure she really was asleep. When she didn’t stir and her breathing remained steady, I crept closer, pausing to allow my eyes time to adjust to the darkness. This room didn’t have any windows and was technically not considered a bedroom by code, but it worked perfectly for what I needed it for.

Her breathing caught and I stared down at her as I watched her eyelids flutter before finally opening and landing on me. For a second she didn’t seem to know where she was. I smiled down at her and her mouth curved slightly like she was about to do the same. Recognition washed over her and she quickly sat up and backed away from me.

“Sleep well?” I asked as she grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it down over her knees to cover herself. “It’s only gonna get hotter today.” Her eyes danced over my body and I realized my jeans were still undone and I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. “Sorry.”

I zipped up my pants, leaving them unbuckled before turning and leaving the room. I left her door wide open, hoping she would act a little more civilized today. It was asking a lot. I usually would not allow the women to leave the room unless they needed to use the bathroom. It made things easier for me. If things ended badly, I didn’t want Rose’s last memories to be of being locked away like a prisoner.

I made my way to the kitchen, dropping my phone on the coffee table along the way, and grabbed a box of cereal from the top of the fridge. The bedroom door creaked. I grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and a couple of spoons from the drawer.

“I don’t have much in the way of groceries.” I grabbed the milk from the fridge. Lily had begun pouring the cereal into the bowls. “Lucky Charms okay?” She nodded and I filled the bowls with milk before putting the carton back in the fridge. She sat down on one of the stools and I opted to stand on my side of the counter. I didn’t know what her attitude was like this morning, and I didn’t want to risk being stabbed with a fucking spoon.

We ate in silence as I fished out the marshmallows from my cereal. It didn’t get past me that Lily hadn’t put her sweatpants back on. The heat was unbearable and I think she finally accepted that I may have been a lot of things, but rapist wasn’t one of them.

“How is the room?” I asked as I dumped my bowl into the sink. She glanced up at me through her eyelashes and I knew she was struggling not to come back with a sarcastic remark. She simply nodded and took another bite.

“I know it’s not the Hilton.” I reached above my head and gripped the top of the cabinets over the island. Lily’s eyes danced over my abdomen before reaching my eyes. The joke was not lost on her. Danny had texted me her name from her license she had in her purse. Rose Chathom had become Lily Hilton.

“I didn’t think you would have so many tattoos,” she said before dropping her gaze.

“A lot’s changed.” I looked down at the ink that flowed over my chest and down to my ribs. I dropped my arm and held it out in front of her so she could inspect the mishmash of books and toys. “This is for my mother. It has all of my favorite memories of her.” I pointed to my other arm covered in intricate crosses. “This is for all of the people who have hurt those that I cared about.”

“What about that?” She motioned to my rib cage where the grim reaper held a withered rose.

“You.” My eyes locked on hers. I wanted to say so much but I couldn’t speak. Rose cleared her throat and picked up her bowl.

“I’m done. Thank you.” She held out her bowl and I took it with a nod.

“You can find something to watch, if you want.”

Rose smiled and made her way into the living room, settling down on the couch in the center.

“You’re being awfully…compliant today.” I leaned against the counter and folded my arms over my chest as I gazed up at the ceiling.

“I’m just happy to be out of that room.” She sighed as she flipped through the channels.

“I’m glad you learned your lesson.” I walked across the living room and sat down next to her.

“You read all those?” she asked, looking at the mess of books behind the couch; it was one of the stacks I’d knocked over and scattered across the floor.

“I don’t use them as decoration.”

“You can use this room until you get on your feet.” I pushed open the door to the spare bedroom. Amber leaned in and smiled. There was no bed or dresser, only stacks of books along the wall.

“Wow. I would have never pegged you for a bookworm,” she said, joking. She stepped inside the room, pulling open the door to the tiny bathroom inside.

“I was gonna use this as a library one day when I had some time to fix it up. Maybe build my own shelves.”

Amber turned back to me and smiled as she leaned over a pile of books, scanning the titles.

“Thank you for letting me stay. It should only be a few weeks until I can find a place of my own.”

“You’re welcome here as long as you need. It will be nice not being alone for a while. I’ll try to pick up a mattress or something after my shift.”

“That’ll be great. Thanks, Colt.”

“You used to hate reading in high school.”

“Nah. I just loved the sound of your voice when you read to me.”

She smiled genuinely and my heart stuttered.

“Tell me what happened after you left.” I kept my eyes locked on the television.

“Nothing, really. My stepdad went to prison after my mom caught him…in the act. A few years later she drowned herself in guilt and booze. I have been on my own ever since.”

“If I’d known where you were…”

“You would have what? Kidnapped me and held me against my will?” She cut her eyes at me. There was that fire.

“Fair enough. Not like you wanted me to find you anyway. You never married? Had a family?”

“No.” She clicked the Off button on the remote and sat it down on the coffee table before standing. “I’m still kind of tired. I think I’ll go lie back down, if that’s okay with you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I had held out hope that everything had changed for Rose. That she had moved on in her life and was living in an upscale neighborhood with a picket fence, although the thought of her being able to forget me so easily was still like a knife in my stomach.

I nodded and watched her walk off to her dark little corner of the apartment. I scrubbed my face with the heels of my hands as my eyes fell to the empty coffee table.

“Son of a bitch!” I jumped from the couch and ran to the spare bedroom. Lily was hunched in the corner, her back facing me. I grabbed her hair and yanked her to her feet. She squealed and kicked backward as she held my cell phone out in front of her, just beyond my reach.

“Stop!” She screamed as I yanked us both backward onto the mattress. I rolled on top of her as I struggled to pry the phone from her fingers without injuring her.

“Do you have any fucking idea how stupid you are?” I yelled as I pinned her empty hand down.

“Let me go!” Her other hand had a death grip on my phone, and she was holding it above her head, stretching as far as she could. I was well aware of the fact that her oversize shirt was riding up, and her smooth, warm stomach was pressed against mine.

“You are going to get yourself killed!”

“Then fucking kill me already!” Her eyes, wide and crazy, locked onto mine and we both stopped struggling, panting from the fight.

“Who were you trying to call?”

“None of your business.” She narrowed her eyes. I let my gaze fall to her chest and back to her perfect fucking mouth. She got the hint, and as her body relaxed for a fraction of a second, I pulled the phone from her hand. I kept her pinned under my body as I looked at the number on my phone.

“You can give me a name, or I can do a reverse check and pay them a visit. Lily.” My eyes locked onto hers. “I never said I had a problem with killing someone. I only said I wouldn’t kill you.”

“Shawn, my fiancé.”

“You’re engaged? Where’s your ring?”

“We have been separated for a few weeks. I moved back in with my family while we were working things out.”

“What family?”

“After Mom died, I moved in with a friend, and her family accepted me as one of them. I was already eighteen so it didn’t really matter…”

I pushed myself up on my elbows as I tried to process this new information. I was glad Rose was able to move on with her life, find some semblance of normalcy.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Are you?”

“Of course. Now we have someone to pay the ransom.” I pushed off the bed, looking her over once more. It was a fucking shame we were in this situation because she looked insanely beautiful sprawled out on that mattress. I hit the call button on my phone as I left the room and pulled her door closed behind me.

It rang four times before man answered, sounding bored.

“Can I help you?”

“Notice anything missing?” I ended the call and laughed to myself. If he and Lily weren’t together, I needed to make him aware that she wasn’t around. We had two weeks to make him sweat.

“What happened to you?”

I spun around to see Rose leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest.

“
You
happened.”

Her gaze fell to the wooden floor below and her toes traced a crack in the wood.

“You know I didn’t move out of Bollerville for years.” I tossed my phone on the coffee table and sank down on the couch. I ran my hand over the back of my neck as I looked down at my feet.

“I know why I couldn’t find you. You practically fell off the map, but me…I was always around.”

“I didn’t want anything to do with my past, Cole. You of all people should understand that.”

I nodded my head but I had no fucking idea how she could go on and live this normal life while she knew I thought she was dead. The whole thing fucked me up and made me into the heartless asshole I had become.

“Is he…is he gonna pay?” She stepped out of the doorway, her arms swinging at her sides as she made her way into the living room.

“Don’t know yet.” I looked up at her, only a few feet from me. “Guess it depends on why you two aren’t together anymore.”

“It’s a long story.” She sighed as she pushed her hair back from her face.

“We’ve got nothing but time.” I leaned back against the back of the couch and propped my feet up on the old tile coffee table.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Have it your way, sweetheart.” I let out a sardonic laugh. “It’s your funeral.”

I ignored her sniffling as I stared at the peeling off-white paint in the corner of the room. That was a low blow, but I was really sick and tired of half-truths.

“For what it’s worth, I thought about you.” She sank down on the couch next to me with her legs folded under her.

“Lot of good that did.”

“Come on. If I found you…like this…”

“You would have found a different person. This” — I waved my hand around — “is not who I am. One day, if you’re lucky enough to live through this, you will see that.”

“You’re not that boy who wanted to save me anymore.”

I looked over at her, taking her in.

“You’re right. I’m not.” Anger consumed me and I wanted nothing more than to teach her a lesson. It didn’t matter what she called herself, she was still the girl who broke my heart.

My cell phone rang, jarring us from the moment.

“Colt,” I answered, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees.

“We are dropping by,” Whitey responded.

My eyes shot to Rose.

“What’s your ETA?” I asked as I pushed to my feet, and Rose followed suit, ringing her hands together nervously.

“I’m climbing your steps now.”

The line went dead and I stared at Rose for an extra moment before tossing my phone on the table.

“You have to go in the room.”

“I don’t want to go back in there,” she whined like a child.

“I don’t have time for your bullshit. Some very bad men are heading this way and I need you behind that lock.”

“How do I know someone isn’t on their way to rescue me?”

“Because you’re not a Disney fucking princess.” I bent over and grabbed her around the ass, hauling her up over my shoulder.

“I’m glad you still have your sense of humor while my life is one the line.” Her hands splayed across my back and I could feel her nails beginning to dig into my flesh. In any other circumstance, my dick would be rock hard, but there was a very real threat to Rose’s life.

“Retract your claws.” I sat her down gently on the mattress. She began to sob and part of me found some sort of sick, twisted pleasure in her fear. She had put me through hell without an ounce of remorse. It was time to return the favor.

“Don’t cry,
Lily
.” I sunk down on my knees and lifted her chin with my fingertips. “It makes you look just as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.” She jerked back from my touch as I pushed to my feet and shook my head. I held my finger up to my lips to warn her to be quiet before backing out of the room and securing the lock. As I made my way into the kitchen to grab a beer, the front door opened.

“Whitey, nice of you to drop by.” I smiled as I opened my beer and tossed the cap on the counter.

“We need progress.” He slicked back his thick wavy hair exposing his tanned face.

“You need a drink. Beer?” I took a long pull from my bottle and Whitey made a face. “Everything is on track. Just like it always is.”

“You got the ball rolling on the money?”

“I’ve already initiated contact.”

His eyes flicked to the door and I took another drink, hoping he wouldn’t want to see her.

“I’ll be checking in later.” He turned and opened the door to the apartment. “Keep up the good work. Danny has his eye on you for the future.” He winked before leaving the apartment and pulling the door closed behind him. I let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the counter. Lily wasn’t Rose. Not anymore. I was going to end up getting us both killed because I couldn’t separate the two. She wasn’t being truthful, and that meant that any trust we had in the past was long gone. I needed to start playing this one by the book. People like Danny used guys like me for a reason. I had no problem shutting off my emotions and getting the job done.