A
female
voice.
My blood ran cold knowing it was a woman Ryder drove out here to meet. All kinds of things were running through my mind, but I couldn’t settle on one thought. I felt like my eyes were deceiving me, and what I was witnessing wasn’t really happening.
“You liar.” I whispered as I watched Ryder lean into the window of the white Range Rover.
My chest squeezed when I heard laughter from the female in the driver’s seat. I didn’t know what she was laughing at, or what Ryder was doing to make her laugh, but what I did know is that he kept his head, shoulders and arms inside the driver’s window of her car and was making her laugh.
I felt sick. I felt weak. I felt numb.
I didn’t want to stick around and find out what he was doing
to
make her laugh because I feared I’d do something that would hurt me more in the long run. I lowered myself back down to my hunkered position, reached out and gripped onto the bush that I was hiding behind and inhaled and exhaled deeps breaths.
I’m going to pass out.
I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to continue taking deep breaths. When the urge to faint passed, I focused on not vomiting. My stomach was churning and rolling, and there was a pain in my chest that I had never felt before in my life. It was a similar pain I felt when my parents died, but for some reason, it was
much
worse.
Ryder… he was
cheating
on me.
He was betraying me, and I had the proof, but I still couldn’t believe what was unfolding before my eyes. I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t want to. I just wanted to erase the image and sound of Ryder and the woman’s laughter. I didn’t want to think of him smiling because it reminded me so much of the smile he used to show me whenever he saw me.
Home
, I told myself.
I need to go home
.
A strong woman would have confronted Ryder, and possibly run him over with his beloved car while the bitch he cheated with watched, but I wasn’t a strong woman. I was a shell of the woman I used to be, and what I just witnessed would stay with me forever.
I was broken.
I numbly retraced my steps back to Dominic’s car and when I got back inside the vehicle everything felt wrong. The silence was unbearable, but I didn’t want to hear anything else. My heart was slamming into my chest, and the pain I felt with each beat was the only reminder that I was still living, but surely there was more to living than feeling so dead inside?
The taste of sickening infidelity in my mouth urged me to start Dominic’s car. I quickly reversed until I came back to the main road where I switched my headlights back on and safely pulled onto it. I hated how I felt. I was numb to what I was experiencing, but yet my chest hurt. I couldn’t cry, but I knew that’s what the hurt I felt wanted me to do.
My body knew something was wrong, but my brain hadn’t reached the point where it was on the same wavelength. I understood what I saw and what it meant, but I didn’t feel any kind of way over it. I just couldn’t believe it was real.
I found myself laughing hysterically like a crazy person when I realised only hours before that Ryder asked me if I was cheating on him, when it fact,
he
was the cheater.
Him.
I drove Dominic’s car back to his and Bronagh’s house. I didn’t know why, but I completely bypassed my house and just went to theirs. I parked behind Kane and Alec’s cars and I was glad to see that they were there. I didn’t want anyone around me right now, and when I went back to my house, I wanted to be there on my own.
I quietly made my way up the pathway to Dominic and Bronagh’s front door. I heard the cry of a baby and chatter of men. I distinctively heard Damien saying Dominic’s name, too, which meant they were no longer at my house. When they realised I was gone with Dominic’s car, this was obviously the first place they checked for me.
Before any of them could come outside and catch me, I quietly put the car keys inside their letterbox without them knowing. In a daze I walked back to my house and was fully aware that the numbness I felt would soon fade and agonising pain would fill me, but until that happened, I intended to go home and pack my belongings together.
I needed to get out before Ryder came back. I wasn’t strong enjoy to face him, and I feared I’d do something dangerous if he lied to my face when I saw with my own eyes that he was with another woman.
Ryder is cheating on me.
I unlocked my front door and stepped into my house. I closed the door behind me and looked down to my pocket when my phone vibrated, and as if someone else controlled me, I slipped my hand into my pocket, and without looking at who was calling me, I answered the phone and placed it against my ear.
“Hello?”
“Branna?” Ash chirped. “Hey Angel, do you have a minute? I’m telling my sister about the code red we had today and I forget what our response time was. Was it ninety-one seconds, or ninety-five?”
“Ninety-one,” I replied without hesitation, my tone flat.
“Bran?” Ash said. “Are you okay, hon?”
“No, Ash.”
“What’s wrong?” Ash asked and I heard him moving about.
“Ryder,” I blinked. “He’s cheatin’ on me.”
“Oh, fuck,” Ash hissed. “I’ll
kill
him!”
I didn’t reply, instead I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen.
“Where are you?” Ash demanded. “I’ll be right there!”
“I’m in me house, I just walked in—”
“Hello, Branna.”
I swirled around at the unknown voice that cut me off and stared into the dark room. I was too far away from reaching the light switch without moving, and I couldn’t move even if I tried. My legs had locked when I heard the voice of a strange man and fear broke through my numbness and shot through me.
“Branna?” Ash said from my phone. “Who was that?”
“Someone… someone is in me house,” I replied and felt oddly calm, but that feeling fled a moment later.
I heard movement over by the back door, and screeched when the shadow of a tall man came out of the shadows and surged toward me. I dropped my phone and tried to run out of the kitchen, but the man was on me before I even had a chance to move. We hit the floor with a thud, and almost instantly I felt blunt pain rack up and down my body. It caused a shrill scream to rise up my throat and break free.
“BRANNA?!” I heard Ash scream through the phone lying by my head.
I had fallen to the ground first and the body of the man’s added extra weight on top of mine when I hit the ground only caused the impact to hurt that much more. He used my sudden stillness to his advantage and quickly pinned my arms above my head with one hand, while he used the weight of his body to pin my legs and body to the ground. I forgot about fighting him off when fighting to breathe became my number one priority.
“Shhhh, sweetheart.” The man crooned with a Southern American accent. “It’s going to be okay, Branna. Don’t you worry about a thing, honey. I’m going to take real good care of you.”
I wheezed as I desperately tried to suck air into my lungs, but suddenly felt my body go lax as something pinched my neck. One second I was in pain and a blind panic, and the next I was slipping into unconsciousness.
My last thought was of Ryder and the woman from the white Range Rover, and how my life had already ended before this stranger had chance take it from me.
One year ago…
I was tired.
Not physically, but mentally.
I felt as if I was on a merry go round with Ryder. Our stupid arguing had amplified and instead of happening once or twice a week, it was happening once or twice a
day
. We either fought with one another, or ignored each other. It was becoming tiresome.
It all started six months ago, just after Dominic started fighting at Darkness under Brandon Daley. Ryder would disappear for a few hours, and when I asked where he was, he’d blow up at me. I forgot about it after a while because my long hours at the hospital had me overlooking his nightly absences. I could have probably dealt with him being evasive, but while he was in my presence his arsehole behaviour and snippy remarks picked away at me until a fight was ignited.
This was the beginning of our downward spiral, and now, six months later, I was at a stand still. I didn’t know what to do about the situation, and I refused to bring my problems to my friends or Ryder’s brothers because they had their own shit to work through. They didn’t need my drama added to theirs.
The only thing I could do was turn a blind eye to the situation, which meant ignoring Ryder. I knew it was wrong to brush our problems under the carpet, but knowing any attempt to deal with it would turn into a screaming contest kept my mouth shut.
It was hurting me though. I didn’t know what had gone wrong in order for Ryder not to talk to me or trust me anymore, but whatever happened, it was enough to change him. He wasn’t the man I once knew, and it broke my heart.
I shook my head clear and grabbed my shower bag. I had been sleeping in Dominic’s old room once or twice a week when fighting got bad between Ryder and myself, and last night was once of those nights. Usually, I’d shower in any of the bathrooms in the house when I couldn’t use another one, but I preferred the shower in my and Ryder’s master bathroom. It was bigger and the showerhead was made so it was like a waterfall raining water onto your head instead of a little spray.
I made my way down the stairs and headed into my room. It was empty, as expected. I didn’t know where Ryder was; he probably didn’t come home last night. He sometimes did that. Since I had two hours until I needed to leave for work, I would enjoy my shower and wash away my latest fight with Ryder, and try and relax.
It was something I hadn’t done it a while.
I headed into the bathroom, and was surprised when steam puffed into my face. I dismissed it and closed the door behind me and turned towards the shower. I walked head first into a hard, wet chest.
I gasped and looked up. When my eyes landed on him, I swallowed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.”
I didn’t know you were home at all.
Ryder looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. “It’s your bathroom too, don’t be sorry.”
I slowly nodded.
“Are you still giving me the silent treatment?” he asked on a sigh.
“I don’t know. Are you still being an arsehole who can’t answer a few simple questions?” I countered.
“Yeah,” he quipped. “Seems I am.”
I lifted my hand and wiggled my fingers for him to move out of my way, giving him my reply. Silently.
“Only you could give a huge ‘fuck you’ with a singlehanded gesture and silence.”
I rolled my eyes, and tried to push by him.
Ryder didn’t move, he just continued to stare down at me. I didn’t like how he was openly raking his eyes over my body like I was a piece of meat, so I returned the favour. Only that backfired very quickly because I adored the view on display.
I found my eyes slowly,
very
slowly, scanning their way down Ryder’s chiselled, tattooed body and fuck me if it didn’t stir something lower in my abdomen. I licked my lips as I watched a droplet of water run from his chest, down to the beautiful defined oblique muscles at the base of his torso.
Fuck.
He was hotter than ever, all the extra hours of workouts he had been putting in over the last few months were clearly working and my eyes reaped the rewards. I badly wanted to run my hands, and tongue, all over him, but I remembered how things were between us and it dampened down the rise in my temperature.
“Enjoying the view?” he asked, his voice so low it hardened my nipples.
I snapped my eyes up to Ryder’s and found him smirking down at me.
“So what if I am?” I challenged and broke my vow of silence by speaking.
I gasped when he suddenly grabbed hold of my forearms and forced me to step back until my back hit the bathroom door. I almost groaned out loud when his pelvis pressed against mine and I felt the hardened length of his cock press into me.
Shit.
“Careful, Branna,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I might think you actually want me with the fire in those pretty eyes of yours.”
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s not like you’ll fuckin’
do
anythin’ about it.”
Ryder’s grip on my arms tightened.
“
Excuse
me?” he asked through clenched teeth.
I cleared my throat. “We haven’t had sex in months. Somethin’ about me has put you off wantin’ to have sex with me so I doubt you’ll do anythin’ to me no matter how much heat is in my eyes…
or
knickers.”
Fuck it.
If he thought he was going to intimidate me with his manhandling ways then he had another thing coming. He hadn’t put his hands on me in such a way in the longest time, and I was savouring his touch because I knew when I left the bathroom, it probably wouldn’t happen again for
another
few months.
“You think I’m not attracted to you?” Ryder asked, shock evident in his tone.
I shrugged. “What else am I supposed to think? There was a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off me, now you can barely stand to be close to me.”