Running Wild (Hell Ryders MC Book 1) (29 page)

Ty didn’t speak. He didn’t move either. Tears fell, staining her face, and still, he didn’t move.

“He’s so good to me, Ty. He’s so good…to me. I’ve never felt so…” She hesitated, searching for the right word. “Alive. I feel alive. For the first time in my life, I’m not an object someone can control, I’m a person. So it doesn’t matter if he loves me. I know how he makes me feel, and I can live with that.”

He dropped his head, ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. He met her stare. “You deserve more, Allie. You deserve to be loved, too. Don’t fuckin’ settle. Don’t ever fuckin’ settle. Better than you is no one, nothing.”

He stood. “Gotta talk to Jace.”

“Promise me.”

No hesitation. “I promise.”

He knew what she meant. She hadn’t needed to tell him. It’s why he was her brother. He’d keep his promise, no matter what Jace said or didn’t say.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Trig waited and waited, and he wasn’t patient about it either. He didn’t want to leave Allie alone. She was safe with her brother, but it didn’t mean she was okay. It didn’t mean she wasn’t upset or worst, fucking crying.

He hated when she cried. She was tough and strong and taught not to cry. When she cried, he knew she’d had too much, and knowing that made it worse.

Her brother loved her and would never hurt her, but in an instant, Army forgot shit like the fact Allie was sweet, beautiful Allie. Army let his anger get in the way of logic, let it blind him to the point he couldn’t see Allie was a woman who needed to be comforted.

Trig understood his anger. He’d been pissed for not knowing Wyatt had put his hands on her and that she hadn’t told them about the note, but still, she was Allie. She needed and deserved to be held and told everything would be all right even if it wasn’t.

Army didn’t get it. Like Army didn’t get, you didn’t pull out a gun in front of Allie. She’d spotted his one night, and she stared at it wide-eyed for a full ten minutes. He’d told her not to worry, explained the safety was on, but it hadn’t helped. He told her they carried them for protection, not because they used them. That hadn’t helped either. It wasn’t until he put it out of sight she’d been able to fall asleep.

Yet Army had his gun firm in his grip, typical Army style. No bluff. If he’d dared touch Allie after Army’s threat, he would have a hole somewhere. He got that, but shit, Allie was there. Army could’ve shot him later, in the back for all he cared, just not in front of Allie. She deserved hearts and flowers, not guns and death threats.

He heard footsteps nearing and turned toward the door a moment before Army swung it open. His accusing eyes snared him. That one deadly look from anyone else would’ve started a brawl, but Army had reason. He forced himself to relax.

Army closed the door behind him. “She’s bet—”

“Don’t fuckin’ say it.”

He didn’t deserve her. He knew it, didn’t need to hear it because he thought about it every second, minute, and hour of every day. But he wanted her, and if she wanted him, he’d keep her.

“Don’t fuckin’ say it. You know it. She knows it, and I sure as hell know it. Every time I look at her, I’m fuckin’ reminded but don’t fuckin’ say it.”

“’Cause I don’t say it, doesn’t change it.”

“I know that better than anyone. My father’s a drug-addicted deadbeat. Don’t even know where the fuck he is, if he’s even alive, and my mother was a fuckin’ drunk. Trailer trash like me has two options: join a gang and end up dead or go to the Army and make some money if I don’t end up dead.

“It was the only way out for me, the only way I could look out for my drunk mother and sister. Still, it killed me ’cause me leaving didn’t stop my mother from drinking to care for my sister. She ended knocked up at sixteen, and that’s on me. Couldn’t do anything else with my fuckin’ check but put a down payment for a house and help raise my niece.”

“Know the story, Trig. What I don’t know is why you fuckin’ betrayed me and the club, why you’re fuckin’ my sister.”

His jaw locked and hurt. He’d been clenching it too hard. “You can be a fuckin’ asshole when you wanna be, know that?”

Army took a step in his direction. “You’re the one fuckin’ my sister, been fuckin’ my sister behind my back for more than a month. If that isn’t an asshole, don’t know who is.”

“It isn’t like that, and you fuckin’ know it. You know I’ve had your back for seven years. You know the club’s my family. You know I still got your back, same applies for our brothers.”

Army took another step, coming inches from his face. “No, I don’t ’cause you been fuckin’ my sister. Not only she my sister, but she’s off limits to the brothers. That includes you, Trig. Don’t give a fuck you saved my ass in Afghan. It applies to you too, and you fuckin’ knew it, and you still crossed the line. I didn’t wanna believe it. Been ignoring the signs, but yesterday you proved it, jumping outta the fuckin’ car like you had a rocket up your ass. And before, you’d always be searching the compound for her. Prayed the whole way here I was fuckin’ wrong, but guess what? I was right.”

Army was livid, practically foaming at the mouth, and now in his face. No one got in his face. Army knew him well, so he knew this. Like Army knew from his actions not half an hour ago he cared about Allie. Army just didn’t know how much. It’s what he wanted to know, and yet he couldn’t come out and ask. He wanted to fuck with him.

He couldn’t blame him. Like Army had known about him and Allie, he’d known Army was getting wise about it. Still, he hadn’t been cautious. Maybe subconsciously he wanted them to get caught, to end the bullshit of seeing her around and not being able to hold her, kiss her, or talk to her.

He said what Army wanted to hear because it was the truth, because he owed it to him, and to the club. “You want me to say it. I’ll fuckin’ say it. She’s outta my league and deserves better than trash like me, and still, it doesn’t change the fact that when she looks at me with her heart in her eyes I wanna rob a bank to give her everything she deserves. It doesn’t change the fact
she picked me
, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna let her go if she wants to stay. I don’t even think I
could
let her go if she wanted to leave.”

“You expect me to believe she’s different from a tap to you? You, who’s never fucked the same woman twice? Oh, wait. My bad, you did. Lilliam, right? But she got too fuckin’ attached, so you threw her out on her ass, and Dodge fucked her and knocked her up.”

A low blow. A part of him couldn’t understand why Army’d brought it up. He deserved Army’s wrath, but Army had now crossed the line by comparing sweet, beautiful Allie to a manipulative bitch like Lilliam, and it infuriated him.

Lilliam, one of the club’s taps, had a hell of a body. Whenever he wanted some, he’d gone to her. It had been just sex. They hadn’t even slept in the same bed. The problem: she’d gotten ideas. She stopped fucking his brothers, then told the old ladies he would patch her. When he heard, he’d ended it, whatever she thought they had. That same night, she’d jumped in the sack with Dodge, another one of his brothers. Three months later, she announced she was two months pregnant in front of the club. Dodge had done the honorable thing and married her. That was three years ago, and Dodge was still living in hell. Besides showing up to their meetings and cookouts and doing runs, he was hardly ever at the garage. He had a toddler to care for because Lilliam was not only a manipulative bitch but a bad mother who still acted and dressed like a tap, hitting on the brothers to rile Dodge.

Allie wasn’t a tap. Allie wasn’t a manipulative bitch either. She was sweet, smart, and beautiful Allie. It wasn’t just sex. It was real. She was his woman, and he treated her like gold.

He moved so quickly, Army didn’t have time to dodge his blow. His fist connected with Army’s lip, cracking it. “Compare that fuckin’ cunt to my Allie one more time, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you.”

Army straightened, wiping the blood dripping down his lip with the back of his hand.

“You fuckin’ deserved that. You fuckin’ know Lilliam was a tap trying to get more. You just fuckin’ caught me and Allie sleeping together. Her head was on my chest, her hand on my stomach, and her legs were tangled in mine. I was holding her close, means even in my sleep I treat her like she’s mine, so you know
I know
Allie’s different.”

“No, I fuckin’ don’t ’cause you been hiding her. I’m thinking she meant something to you, you would’ve come to me.”

“And tell you what?” His brows drew together. “That the fuckin’ moment I saw her I wanted her? That from one look her face was seared in my mind? Never in my fuckin’ wildest dream thought I’d have a chance. She’s fuckin’ class, and I’m trash. Like it’d make a damned fuckin’ difference. If you’d known, you would’ve kept her as far away from me as possible.”

Army swung, his fist connected with his jaw. It hurt. He deserved it, so he didn’t fight back. Tasting blood in his mouth, he spit and straightened.

“Pissing me off on fuckin’ purpose,” Army sniped. “I know what she wants. She wants a man who loves her. If I thought you could love her, I would’ve never kept her away.”

“You think I don’t?”

Army fisted his hands, gritting his teeth.

He knew why. Because he still hadn’t said what he wanted to hear, that he loved Allie.

“I know you’re a good man, but you’re in this life, and this life isn’t easy. You can still end up dead, and if you do, it’ll kill her.”

He lifted his chin. “Same goes for you.”

Army flinched, actually flinched. Army, like him, was hard-as-nails, carved from the same cloth—the United States Army, and men like them didn’t react, not unless it was big. Trig had struck a nerve. He couldn’t understand why. It was obvious to anyone who cared to look Allie adored her brother.

“It’s different.”

He shook his head. “It isn’t. Your father’s a dick. She always knew that deep down ’cause of what he did to you. Your mother was a pushover. Apparently the only thing she ever did for Allie was give her those letters you sent. You’ve been the only constant in her life, the only one who gives a shit enough to value her, her choices, her opinion. That means
everything
to her.” All of this he knew. Allie told him. She told him everything, and he listened.

He shook his head. “If something happens to you, she’ll never be the same. Ever.”

Eyes flaring, finally, Army asked what he wanted to. “Do you love her?”

He hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other yet never losing sight of his eyes.

“Simple question, Trig. You love her?”

“You know the answer, Army. You know I’d never fuckin’ betray you or the club. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t have kissed her back when she kissed me, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have let it go further. Would’ve stopped it.” He sighed heavily, ran a hand through his hair. “It’s more than love, I fuckin’ need her.”

Army didn’t move, not a muscle.

“Never been content in my life. I love Tina and Della, and I lived for both of them, but I never felt this…happy.”

Army looked away from him. After a moment, he met his stare again. “Why’d you hesitate when I asked if you loved her?”

“Wanted to tell her first.”

“If you love her, why hide her?”

“We were gonna tell you today. Her decision. Tell you the truth, I wanted to wait, give her more time to decide if I’m what she really wants ’cause not three months ago, she was engaged to a dick. I don’t know if ’cause of that dick she thinks she can’t do better than me. Don’t know if I’m what she needs. I wanted to wait, but it don’t mean shit. I know how I feel ’cause I feel it, been feeling it for a while, and I know she’s what I need. She’s all I’ll ever need.”

He’d wanted to wait for more than that, too. Once they were public, she’d know more about the club, about club life. Club life wasn’t for everyone. It could be a good life, but it could be rough. Showing her that life was a risk. She could reject it, reject him.

Army’s unblinking eyes held his for a long moment, not saying anything, not moving either. Then his body loosened. “Don’t rob a bank. You’ll go to prison for nothing ’cause she left that life, brother, doesn’t want it. Another piece of advice, tell her how you feel ’cause she doesn’t know.”

“She knows—”

Army shook his head. “She doesn’t. She knows you care, but she thinks she cares more.”

What the fuck? How could she possibly think that?

“Know what you’re thinking. I know Allie. She’s beautiful, but she doesn’t know it. She’s insecure probably ’cause she grew up with my dick of a father who never let her choose. Probably, too, ’cause she’s been cheated on and beat.”

He nodded, then he smiled. Army approved.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Despite her shattered nerves and rambling brain, Allie found a pair of shorts and a top, dressed, then sat on her bed and waited impatiently for her brother and Jace to have their talk. She wanted to walk into her living room and press her ear against the door, but it’d probably just get her more worked up, and she couldn’t handle that. A part of her, the part of her who knew they needed to have their man-to-man talk stopped her. She forced herself to sit still, staring blankly at her white wall, and wait.

When the front door opened, she bolted off her bed into the living room. There, she spotted Jace walking in, shirtless, in the pair of jeans he’d forgotten to buckle. Her breaths quickened. She ignored the desire that sparked and forced her eyes away from his chest to his face, zoning in on a red mark on his jaw. Her gaze darted to her brother and his broken lip. They’d both gotten their shots in, probably explained why they both seemed relaxed. A good sign, but she couldn’t help feel peeved.

“You hit him?”

Ty’s brows furrowed. Immediately, he shot back, “He hit me first.”

Her jaw dropped. Really? Ty wouldn’t lie, especially not when Jace stood right there and could easily deny the claim. Why would Jace hit Ty? If anything, her brother would’ve struck first. He’d been the one who’d caught them in bed and realized they’d been lying.

Her gaze snapped to Jace. “You hit him
first
?”

Jace crossed his arms over his chest. “He deserved it.”