Running Towards Love (8 page)

“But, I can’t give you what you want.” She muttered the words against his chest as she sagged against him.

“What are you talking about?” Danny didn’t want to appear irritated but the frustration of the last few days was settling deep in his body. “You’ve given me all of you; that’s all I need.”

“I went to see Dr. Luethman that morning.”

Danny battled against the tenseness he felt rising in his muscles. The last thing he wanted to do was put her on the defensive but he could not combat the sudden fear he felt. “Are you alright?”A quiet sob rippled through her body and it forced him to draw her closer. “Whatever it is babe, we’ll get through it together. We’ll find the best doctors in the world if we need to.”

“Specialists won’t help.”

“Nicole,” his voice hardened as icy terror made its way through his veins. “What aren’t you telling me?” Thoughts of chemo and radiation, surgery and death plagued his mind.

“She diagnosed me with type 1 premature ovarian dysfunction. I can’t have children.”

One second passed. Then two. Then three before Danny finally let out all of the tension from his body in one deep breath. “Thank God!”

Immediately though, Nikki ripped herself from his arms. “Thank God? Thank God? Are you serious, Danny?”

He threw his hands in front of his chest, palms facing outward in a signal of surrender. “That’s not what…”

“I tell you I can’t have children, the one thing we have planned for and dreamed of since we were first dating, and your response is ‘Thank God?!”

“Stop for a second and see this from my point of view.”

“Your point of view?” She seethed. “You want me to see things from your point of view? My heart is breaking and you’re happy about it!”

Danny reached out and grabbed her wrist, spinning her around and locking her in his arms. “I’m not happy about this, Nicole; but I am beyond thrilled that you are okay. Physically, that is,” he added, the moment she raised her eyebrow at him. “You had me terrified. I thought you were sick. I thought you had cancer or some other disease that would take you away from me. So yes, I was thrilled when I found out my thoughts were wrong!”

“There is something wrong with me,” she started to argue but Danny silenced her words as he sealed his lips over hers. His fingers pulled her face closer to his as he hungrily devoured the taste of his wife, his best friend, and his lover. Anguish and grief mixed with relief and love as they both melted into the kiss.

Holding her face in his hands, he broke away from the kiss and whispered fiercely. “Nothing is wrong with you; you’re perfect, and you’re mine.”

“But,” she barely slipped that one word out before his lips were on her again. This time, the kiss was more passionate, hungrier. He had missed having his wife in his arms, missed the feel of her body against his.

“But nothing, Nicole,” he replied a moment later. “All of the children in the world would not bring me an ounce of joy if I did not have you.” Tears slipped silently down her cheeks, wetting his neck and his shirt where she pressed against him. “I thought I lost you, babe. These past few days have been miserable for me. We can work through anything else, as long as we are together. ”

“Okay,” she sniffled, working to silence her crying. “I’m so, so sorry, Danny.”

Pulling back slightly, he gazed into the crystal blue eyes of the woman he loved with everything he had. “I’m sorry too. We both made mistakes, Nicole. I should have talked to you about Allison.”

“And I shouldn’t have run,” she glanced up at him. “Again.”

“Yeah, I thought you weren’t going to do that anymore.” He smirked at her, loving the look she gave him as the fire began to return to her eyes. “At least you can’t say, ‘one time, Daniel!’ anymore!”

“You know you’re not funny,” she replied, ignoring the mocking tone of his voice as she snuggled deeper into his embrace.

“I’m hysterical.”

“Hysterical to look at maybe.” She laughed at the running joke between them.

“You’re the one who wants to keep me.”

Nikki smiled against him, running her hands over the planes of his chest before threading her fingers through his hair. “Yes, I do,” she mumbled against his lips.

“You know,” he tugged her towards the doors to the house. “I ran into Jason and Rebekah on the way into the house.”

She followed closely behind him, standing on tiptoe to trace her tongue along the hard lines of his jaw, making her way to the soft lobe of his ear. “Mmm hmm?”

“They mentioned they were going to be gone for hours.”

“Hours, huh?” She breathed the words against his neck as he swung her into his arm. “Is that long enough to show you how much I missed you?”

“No, Mrs. Camarelli. But, it’s a great place to start.”

Hours later, Danny and Nikki were wrapped around each other as they lounged together on the couch. “There’s nothing on the television,” Danny practically whined.

Nikki twisted in his arms, pressing herself as close to him as possible. “Who says we need to watch TV?”

“Uh, I do,” a voice called from the kitchen. “Or you can turn the thing off for all I care,” Jason continued before walking into the living room. “But you cannot do whatever you just planned to do.”

“Little ears getting ready to run through here?” Danny asked, running a hand through Nikki’s hair.

“Yes, but I’m not worried about them. There are some things I do NOT want to see!” Jason teased the couple, relieved to see they both looked significantly better. “We good here?” He made a small motion, waving a finger towards both Danny and Nikki.

Danny smiled and placed a soft kiss against Nikki’s forehead as she started to rise from their position on the sofa. “We’re good.”

He arched an eyebrow towards Nikki. “Completely?”

Knowing he was referring to their earlier conversation about her doctor’s appointment, she nodded her head. “I told him everything.”

Danny joined her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer. “We have a lot to talk about, options to pursue, and decisions to make; but, we’re going to make them together.”

She laced her fingers with his and leaned her weight against him, relishing in the feel of his strength supporting her.

“And the
overheard phone call?” Jason asked.

“Don’t tell him anything!” Rebekah yelled from the kitchen. “I want details too!”

Nikki chuckled at the exasperation in her friend’s voice. “Well come in here then!”

Rounding the corner with Elizabeth in her arms and Emily by her side, Rebekah huffed and shot a glare at Jason. “I’m trying, but someone had to wrangle the monsters.”

“I not a monster, Mama.” Elizabeth mumbled around the thumb in her mouth. “I a munchkin.”

Laughter filled the room, from all sides as each of the adults soaked in the innocence of the two year old. “You’re not just any munchkin though,” Nikki said, reaching for her niece. “You’re my special Munchkin.” Elizabeth snuggled against Nikki as she dropped her head against her Aunt’s shoulder. “I’ll give you those details in a little while,” Nikki told Rebekah.

“I think someone is almost ready for b-e-d.” Jason spelled the letters of the horrid word so Elizabeth would not start fussing and laughed when Emily attempted to roll her eyes. “Got something to say, Princess?” he scooped her into his arms.

“I do know how to spell, Daddy.”

“Me too,” Elizabeth called from Nikki’s arms.

“Yes, yes,” Rebekah broke in, stopping the argument between her daughters before it even started. “You are both brilliant. Fortunately, Nana bathed both of you before we left her house, so we only have to take you to change into pajamas, and then you can rest your brilliant minds.

“Sounds like someone else needs to go to b-e-d,” Danny mumbled from behind Nikki, a playful grin on his face as the words registered with Rebekah. As soon as she had Elizabeth back in her arms and Emily turned towards the hallway, she stuck her tongue out at him in rebuttal. Jason simply shook his head, his shoulders shaking in merriment as he followed his girls.

“Come on husband of mine before you get us kicked out of the house.” Nikki untangled herself from his arms and headed towards the kitchen.

Danny quickly followed, not wanting to be separated from Nikki for even a moment. As he turned the corner, he could see the pain lacing her form as she gripped the counter in front of her. “Hey,” he whispered. “No more tears.”

“I want that.”

“I know you do; I do too.” As he found himself doing often, he embraced her from behind, placing soft kisses against her neck. “I was serious in what I told Jason a few minutes ago. We have a lot of options.”

She closed her eyes, losing herself in his hold. “Do we?”

“You know we do, babe.” They swayed side to side for a moment, dancing to a tune only heard in their hearts. “I say we start by setting up an appointment again with your doctor, one we
both
go to this time.”

“And when she confirms what she already told me?”

“Then we decide what route to pursue. There are a lot of children to love in this world Nicole, and simply because that child is not genetically ours does not mean they will not be our children.”

She spun around in his arms, desperate to read the look in his eyes. “You’d be willing to explore adoption?”

“Of course! Domestic, international, even fostering. Why shouldn’t we open our home to any child?”

Nikki leaned forward to press her lips against his. “I love you; you know that, right?”

“Not as much as I love you,” he replied, giving her a quick kiss on the nose. “Just know that I am serious about exploring every option with you. I believe God has just as strong a hand in building a family through adoption as He does through pregnancy.”

“Just make sure you have your running shoes on if you adopt a girl,” Jason said as he walked into the kitchen. Blank stares met his eyes as he entered. “I’m serious; with the way the women run from you in this family, Danny, you’re going to need them!”

Danny burst into laughter, completely unable to contain his amusement. “Very funny,” Nikki glared between both men. “Neither one of you has a shred of decency.”

“Babe, come back,” Danny called but she simply waved him away.

“I don’t think so. I’m headed to kiss my girls good night. At least they appreciate me.” She met Rebekah as she was leaving the bathroom carrying a mix of dirty clothes. After quick sets of kisses, prayers, and stories, both girls were quickly heading off to dreamland.

“How are you doing, Nik?” Rebekah asked quietly as she pulled the door almost closed to Emily’s room.

Nikki smiled serenely. “I’m doing alright.”

“You sure?”

“You know, I think I am.” Nikki grabbed half of the load of laundry and carried it towards the laundry room with Rebekah. “My head is spinning a little. I still can’t believe I didn’t take the time to talk with Danny when I overheard the conversation; I should have had faith in him, in us, instead of running off.”

“Maybe,” Rebekah dropped the clothes into wash. “But, I know how hard things were for me when I found out I might not have children. When you have a dream like that potentially ripped from your heart and mind, it makes it hard to concentrate on anything else.”