Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1) (23 page)

“Lilliah?” he asked from the other end. “Who the hell was that guy?”

She glanced over her shoulder to see Azrael staring at her. For a moment, she wanted to hurt him. She wanted to watch his face as she told Jeremy that he was no one, just a friend. But at the same time, she didn’t want to hurt him, even if he was a dick sometimes. Plus, she had lied to Jeremy enough. It was better to tell the truth when she could, even if it was something he wouldn’t like.

“He’s a guy that I’ve met.” She turned back to look at the wall. She and Azrael had never discussed their relationship.

“So he’s your
boyfriend
?” he all but shrieked. “What? Since when did you have a boyfriend?”

“I never said that,” she said but decided not to carry on with that line of reasoning. Azrael was her boyfriend. “He was my boyfriend, but he might not be now.”

Azrael’s eyes widened with her words. Panic streaked across his face before he quickly masked it over.

“It’s hard to explain, but I promise I’ll tell you everything the next time I see you.” She turned away.

“Are you kidding me?” he shouted into the phone so loudly that Lilliah had to hold it away from her ear. “You’ve been away for a few weeks and already you’ve got a boyfriend? This isn’t right, Lilliah. This isn’t you!”

“Jeremy, I told you that I’ll tell you everything, but I’ve had a tough night. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She needed to put the phone down before her anger got the better of her and she said something she would regret.

“No, Lilliah. Just dump this guy and come home! This is crazy. You don’t even know him!”

“Jeremy, I’m not having this conversation! You can meet him when I get home, but I have to go.” She put the phone down and turned it off before he could protest anymore. She took a deep breath, trying to get her feelings under control. “That was a really childish thing to do,” she finally said.

“Did you mean what you said? I am now your
ex
?” he asked calmly, but his eyes were intense.

“I said that to hurt you. But you keeping this from me, well, that hurt me.”

“I know, and I'm sorry. And for answering your phone too. I just hate that he calls you.”

“Jeremy is just a friend! And the spell? It should be up to me. I want to go through with it.” She had made up her mind. “If you won’t help me, I’ll just ask Benedict.”

“He won't help you,” he shot back.

“Maybe, maybe not.” She turned and walked out of the room.

”Where are you going?”

“To bed,” she said, resting her head on the open door, suddenly drained. “Night.”

She went straight to her room and fell on the bed, completely exhausted. He hadn’t been going to tell her. He hadn’t even been going to give her the option. How could he do this to her? What bothered her most, she realised, was that he had taken the decision out of her hands. He was trying to make decisions for her. And then he had answered her phone! He had done that purely to annoy her. He knew it had been Jeremy. She didn’t want to think of all the messages she was getting from him right now. She’d just have to deal with him later. She stayed in her clothes, too drained to change.

Azrael getting into bed woke her up. She glanced at her clock. Four in the morning, way too early. His strong arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close to him.

“Why are you wearing your clothes?” he asked, the words slightly muffled by her hair.

“I was too tired.” She yawned, trying to move away from him, but his strong grip kept her in place.

“No angel was innocent. No angel was truly pure, apart from you.” She turned so she was facing him in the dark.

“What?” she asked.

“We were all tainted by the war. Ruined. But you weren’t. You’re still untouched by all of this. You’re pure and untouched.”

“I'm hardly pure.” She frowned a little in the dark.

“You still are in a lot of ways. Magic isn't something you can go into with your eyes closed. But if it’s what you want, I’ll take you to New York. You can go for the spell.”

At first, she didn’t say anything.

“Isn’t that what you want?”

“I really want to do it,” she admitted. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

“I want to remember who I am. I want to be able to defend myself when we're attacked again,” she explained.

“I know.” He exhaled.

She smiled at the feel of his breath on her face.

“But I want you to look into this. I'll call Ada tomorrow. You can speak to her and ask all your questions. Don't go into this blind.”

“Oh, I won’t,” she agreed quickly.

“Good.” He breathed again.

“So, what did you do with Jonathan?” she asked.

“Benedict's questioning him now. Then we'll let him go. He can spread the word, show everyone how serious we are. Now, go to sleep.”

She snuggled against his chest, pulling the quilt up around her.

“Good night, my angel,” she heard him whisper, but before she could reply, she was asleep.

Chapter 19

“You really have nothing to worry about, dear.” Ada laughed cheerfully over the phone. “You'll be in safe hands,” she assured. Lilliah, Azrael, and Benedict were talking to her on the phone in his office.

“So what other research have you done?” Azrael asked, sitting behind his desk. He had been grilling her on every tiny detail about the spell for the past two hours, but Ada took it all in stride, answering every question confidently.

“As you know, Azrael, the spell has never been done in this capacity.” Her voice rang out from the loudspeaker. “But I will make sure every precaution is taken.”

“And I will be there too. Just as a safeguard,” Benedict cut in. “It'll be much easier with that amount of magic if it were split between two.”

“Makes sense,” Lilliah agreed, nodding.

“When will you be arriving?” Ada asked.

Lilliah looked at Azrael for the answer.

“We'll fly tonight.” His eyes were fixed solely on her.

“Oh, good. Well, I have a lot of preparing to do, so I will leave you to it. Lilliah, do not worry. Everything will be fine.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up.

“I’ll get the plane ready then,” Benedict announced, walking out of the room.

“The plane?” Lilliah questioned. “You have a private plane?”

“Of course.” He laughed at her shocked expression. “How else is there to fly?”

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Rebecca dropped her bag as she looked up at the massive plane in front of them. “You said he had a private jet. This isn’t a jet! This is a massive-ass plane!”

“He said it was . . .” She paused, trying to remember. “A Boeing 747.” She smiled triumphantly.

“It's amazing!”

They made their way to the steps, taking a glass of champagne from the waiting stewardess.

“Dude.” Sebastian sighed, looking around the cabin. “This is how we now travel. No more waiting at the airport crap and being delayed. This is how we travel.”

She laughed when he sat in the recliner, putting his feet up.

“This is amazing,” Rebecca agreed. “Are you nervous at all?”

“More excited.” Lilliah shrugged, watching Azrael as he entered the cabin. “I'm going to be so kick ass, you won’t even believe it.”

“You already are kick ass.” Rebecca giggled. Lilliah had told her friend and brother about the spell, but she'd left out the pain part. It was best they didn't know about that part.

“Right.” Azrael groaned, taking the seat next to her and taking her hand in his.

She watched as Benedict entered. “You really shouldn’t worry, Lilliah,” Benedict assured her, taking a seat. “Nothing will go wrong. Not while I'm there, anyway.” He smiled.

“It better not,” Azrael warned, turning his attention to the stewardess. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Lilliah stared around the hotel room, trying to take in all the golds and creams. They were in the presidential suite at the Madison. It was amazing. According to Azrael, it was the best in the city, and she didn’t doubt it, but he could say that seeing as how he owned the hotel.

“Why aren’t we staying at your apartment?” she asked, staring at the street below.

“I want to stay under the radar as much as possible. People know my apartment. They watch it to see when I’m in New York.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, still looking at the street below. “New York is incredible. I've always wanted to come. Rebecca and I used to say we'd visit one day,” she said, excited. “Wow, just look at this view! I can see the whole city from up here.” Her entire body was pressed against the floor-to-ceiling glass that made up a wall of the hotel suite. “It’s really beautiful.”

“It's okay. But nothing compared to what I’m looking at,” Azrael replied, smiling and walking up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, his face in the hollow of her neck. “I can show you the city if you want.” The vibrations of his voice tickled her neck as he spoke.

“How long will we be here for?” Lilliah had tried talking about why they were in New York as little as possible. She knew Azrael hadn’t wanted her to go—he had made that clear with his not-so-subtle hints on the plane—but this was something she needed to do.

“We'll go and see The Cure tomorrow.”

She just nodded, letting him know she’d heard. “Then tonight, we'll stay here,” she suggested, turning around to face him. “We'll order room service and watch TV.”

“You’re in New York and all you want to do is stay in?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. “We could go out. I own a restaurant. We could go there?”

“No. Staying in sounds perfect to me.” As long as she was with Azrael, she could be anywhere.

“Okay. We'll stay in. And maybe I can change your mind about going tomorrow.”

“I'm not changing my mind.” She walked round him and into the large living room, which for some reason had two dining tables.
Who needs two dining tables?
she wondered, turning on the TV. “I just spoke to Rebecca. They’re just staying in and sleeping too.” She smiled. “Why don't you want me to have the spell? I'll remember everything—who I am and what I can do. Everything will be so much easier! You won’t have to babysit me anymore,” she pointed out, tucking her legs underneath her. “Okay, it’s going to hurt. But after that? It's going to be awesome.”

Azrael looked up, surprised by the sudden question.

“What if I
like
babysitting you?” Azrael asked, walking over to her, his hands in his pockets. “You’re not a liability to me, Lilliah. I don't care who you are or what powers you have, I’ll always be there to protect you.”

“Good. So now I have nothing to worry about. Come over here and help me pick a film!”

“Do you really prefer staying in?” he asked, sitting beside her and undoing the top few buttons of his shirt before pulling her close.

“Yeah. I’m more of a staying-in girl who reads than a party girl. Never really been my thing.” She flicked through the channels on the TV, trying to find a good film. What kind of films did Azrael like? She realised she didn’t know what his favourite film was, or even his favourite colour. She felt like she had known Azrael all her life, but really, she hardly knew anything about him. “Do you like action films?” she asked, suddenly turning to look at him.

“Action? I don't really watch films, to be honest.” He shrugged, a little confused as to where the question had come from. “Why do you ask?”

“I just realised I didn’t know. There is a hell of a lot we don't know about each other, you know?”

“Okay. Ask me anything you want. I'll tell you anything.” He stared down at her.

“Then you can ask me anything.” She smiled, turning so she was facing him. “Okay, what's your favourite colour?” She decided to stay safe on her first question.

“It changes daily, but right now? Red.” He smiled, running a finger over the sleeve of her red top. “The colour really suits you.”

“Thank you. Rebecca talked me into getting it,” she told him. “I will pay you back for the clothes. And the ones Dena got us as well.” She was silent for a moment.

“You shouldn’t worry about her any more. She's gone. She won’t be stupid enough to come back,” he assured her, correctly guessing where she had gone. He weaved his fingers through hers.

“I know. I should be used to it all by now. I’ve nearly died like what, three times?” She was trying to make light of it all. Dena didn’t deserve to plague her thoughts. Azrael was right. She’d be stupid if she came back now.

“No. You should never be used to people trying to kill you,” he stressed, a slight crease forming across his forehead.

“Well, after tomorrow, no one will, because I’ll be awesome!” She giggled. “Okay, so it’s your turn. Ask me a question.”

“Right. What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Oh, well, I love dancing,” she shared. “So something to do with that.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “I’ve never seen you dance before. What kind?”

“Ballet,” she said simply, feeling like a fraud for even saying the words out loud. “I stopped dancing. It’s been years now.”

“Why did you stop?” he pressed.

“My dad used to take me to practice. It just wasn’t the same after he died. Mum had to work more, so she couldn’t always take me and pick me up. It just became a bit of a burden, so I stopped. I started up again when I was about thirteen; they were doing classes at my school.” She smiled, remembering how excited she had been. “It wasn’t the same, so I stopped again.” It sounded pathetic that she had given up on her dream so easily; she couldn’t even defend the decision to herself. She had just given up.

“That's sad. Why don't you start up again?” Azrael suggested, playing with her hands.

“Dance really is the last thing on my mind right now. Besides, I got too tall for ballet. Okay, so it’s my turn.” She paused, trying to think of a good one. The man had lived for centuries; there was so much to cover. She wanted to know it all!

“Okay, how are you so rich?” The question had been bothering her for some time. She knew he owned Purgatory, but what else? The guy was literally a billionaire.

“I own a lot of property. I have a few clubs all around the world, plus a few hotels and restaurants. I’ve invested a lot.” He nodded. “I was here before anything. I’ve seen things being built. I’ve literally witnessed change happen before my eyes. I'd have been a fool not to act.”

“That's so cool. You've had a front row seat to all of history.” she whispered in awe. Sometimes, she forgot how old he was and what he'd seen. “I would have wanted to be around in the Roman times. Oh! and the Egyptian era, too. You know, when it was at its peak? We read
Antony and Cleopatra
at school. I really fell in love with that story.” Even though it hadn’t ended in the happiest way, it was one of her favourite books.

“Why?” he asked, looking baffled. “They were horrible people.”

“Wait, did you know either of them?”

“I've met them both, yes,” he shared as if it were nothing.

For a moment, Lilliah was lost for words. “That’s amazing! Did Antony really love her so much that he'd do anything for her?” she pressed wishfully.

“I guess. Why do you like the story so much? He turned his back on his entire army. That's not heroic at all.” He scowled.

“But he did it for her. That’s romantic.” She smiled. “You can do anything in the name of love. Horrible things turn into romantic things when done in the name of love.”

“That's not very good logic,” he told her.

“I know,” she admitted with a shrug. “But it's still very romantic. Do you ever get bored? You've seen so much, done so much, and lived for so long. Do you ever get bored living like a mortal?”

“Yes. I did. I hated this earth. To me, it was a prison. When I was in Heaven, I had a purpose, something I was made to do, and I did it well. But here? I was confined, slowly watching everyone disintegrate into shells of what they once were.” Azrael’s eyes glazed over, taking him to a place from long ago. “I hated it. Everything about it.”

“Do you still hate it here?” she pressed, feeling nervous about his answer.

“Everyone I had ever known was in Hell. The angels that had fallen had once been my enemies; then, all of a sudden, they were all I had. Then they went, so I had time to plan. I plotted and searched for a way to get back home, at any cost. I had nothing else.”

The other pieces of Azrael’s life were slowly coming together, giving Lilliah a better picture of what things had been like for him when they had first fallen. Lilliah's head was bent as she toyed with the end of her trousers.

“Then I found you. This world became a lot more.”

Lilliah's head shot up to see him staring down at her intensely, his eyes burning in a way she had never seen before.

“A lot more what?”

“A lot more beautiful, more vivid. I don’t know.” He smiled. “Just
more
. But you know all of this already.” In a way, she did. She knew that when he’d first touched her, everything had changed. But she would never tire of hearing him say it. “You could tell me every minute of every day and I still wouldn’t be able to get used to hearing it.”

Azrael pulled her closer and moved so they were both lying down on the sofa, wrapped in each other.

They laughed, ate from room service, and watched television, even after Azrael’s protests. They were just enjoying being with each other. Lilliah wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep, but she felt it when Azrael lifted her off the sofa and put her in the bed, tucking her in.

“Aren’t you coming to bed too?” she asked with a sleepy yawn.

“Of course.” The bed dipped as he got in from the other side
.
“Try and sleep, angel,” he murmured, leaning over to press a kiss on the top of her head as Lilliah drifted into a deep sleep.

 Azrael woke Lilliah up with kisses, his lips softly touching hers, then her cheeks, moving all over her face.

She smiled. “I could really get used to waking up to that,” she said, her eyes still closed
. It can’t be time to get up yet, can it?
She snuggled back into the bed and pulled the covers up around her. She felt as though she had just gone to sleep.