Royal Bastard (34 page)

“Oh, Connor,” I whispered. Despite it all, I couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing with all of this. Was he soaking it up like his ex-fiancée, enjoying the limelight that this little scandal had brought? Or was he hiding out like me, wishing it would all just go away? I had no idea how to get in touch with him, all of my contacts in my book were back at my old job.

I didn’t even know if I really wanted to see or speak to him either; the memory of the bet still a thorn in my heart.

How had it all gone so wrong? I wasn’t the type of girl looking for a fling. I was the type of girl who was in it for the long-term and for some crazy reason, I had thought long-term with him. And he’d known that, we’d talked about it. Was I regretting not staying with him? Most definitely, I knew I hadn’t given him a chance to explain… But what if we had stayed on another week in paradise, would I have been able to trust the words coming out of his mouth about marriage and commitment? Could I have trusted someone who’d lied to me from the very moment he’d appeared from the bathroom in the hut?

That I didn’t know for sure. All I did know was that if someone was lucky enough to settle him down and make him believe in the happily ever after, then they really would win the prize of a lifetime.

“
J
ust send her flowers
. Every woman likes flowers. Speaking of which, you still owe me an apology for going dark those weeks you were sunning yourself. Maybe you should send me some flowers?”

I looked over at my agent with a frown, thinking the last thing I wanted to do was send Crystal flowers. “Crystal deserves my size twelve boot up her ass for the stunts she’s pulled, not flowers!”

Jay raised an eyebrow, a chuckle escaping his lips. He had been my agent since college, walking me through the finer points of professional football and not allowing me to fall through the cracks of the sport like so many other athletes did. I’d also come to rely on his qualities as a friend and he’d managed to keep me out of trouble to an extent, until now. “I’m not talking about Crystal. I’m talking about that other girl you’re so wrapped up in right now. What’s her name? Autumn?”

“Dude, really?” I asked, leaning back in the chair. We had been lounging by the pool, catching some afternoon rays while he’d gone over my latest endorsement with me, some razor company that wanted me to be their spokesman. I had sold a ton of stuff in my career, from athlete’s foot cream to men’s watches. Being a face to a product not only got you extra cash flow coming in, but the perks were sometimes pretty awesome as well. Though maybe not the athlete’s foot cream I did in my early career. That one I could have shot Jay for. “Autumn? Are you just going to start reeling off the names of the month or go through every season till you get it right?”

“Hell, I don’t know, I’ve never been able to remember the names of your conquests,” Jay grumbled. “I guess that’s not her name, then?”

“No, it’s not,” I replied with a grin. “It’s April.” The sound of her name upon my lips caused my damn heart to race. It had been three weeks and five days since I’d seen her last. Well, maybe not that long. I had seen her, just not live and in person. Her face was on the news enough, down to her walking into her apartment while shielding herself from the intruding cameras. Every time I saw the footage, I got pissed and added another hole or dent into whatever wall I was standing next to. My new house was starting to look like a war zone.

Jay snorted. “You even said her name with that dreamy look on your face,” he said with a grin. “She’s really got you whipped, doesn’t she? Wrapped around her little finger.”

I frowned, not liking the idea that I was so transparent. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jay chuckled and sat up, grabbing a beer out of the cooler. Of course he was drinking, while I was stuck with a bottle of water. There was something wrong with this picture. “You don’t have to lie to me. I had that same, goofy look when I met Polly. Best damn thing I ever did was put a ring on that finger.” I thought about the tall brunette that Jay was lucky enough to be married to. She was a very understanding wife given the craziness that came with being an agent’s wife to a number of high profile clients. But I supposed it helped that she was after all his secretary too. They complimented each other fairly well and I’d been his best man at his wedding a few years ago.

“Shit, man,” I finally said, running a hand through my hair. “I fucking screwed this whole thing up. I should never have accepted that bet.” I could be honest with him. I had screwed it all up. Because of me April was getting pestered constantly about her life. While I was used to people being all up in my grill constantly, I knew she wasn’t.

“Well, that’s a given,” Jay replied. “What were you thinking?”

I shook my head, grabbing the bottle of water and taking a swig of it. I wasn’t thinking. That had been the problem. Once the gauntlet had been laid down that was it. Then I had seen her, truly seen her, and I’d wanted her; had to have her. The problem was I couldn’t shake myself of her now. I still craved the woman.

“So you went in there with your cock instead of your head,” Jay said with a shrug. “We all do that from time to time. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know,” I said, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. Flowers weren’t going to cut it this time. No doubt she would throw them in the trash for the mess I had caused in her life because I was a selfish bastard. “What would you do?”

“If I was in your shoes?” Jay laughed, holding up a beer. “I would go buy the biggest-ass diamond I could find and then grovel like your life depended on it. If you feel like I think you do, I wouldn’t let this girl get away, Connor.”

* * *

I peered through the peephole of my door, surprised to see a man standing there, no cameras or microphones in sight. The owner of the apartment building had drawn a line in the sand with the media, threatening to call the cops if they stepped foot anywhere near his tenants or his building. So far it had worked but leaving my apartment had been a totally different experience. I had resorted to sneaking out of the back bedroom window, dressed in the craziest disguise I could find just so I could have a few moments peace. I had been successful three days in a row and I was starting to believe that maybe I could try for a fourth. Besides, the media frenzy had started to lessen, each day one less reporter showed up. It was starting to die down and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could, but that was a whole other kettle of fish.

Biting my lip, I looked through the hole again, wondering if I could trust this guy, whoever he was. Stepping back, I grabbed the bat I was keeping beside the door and threw the locks, opening the door a hair. “Who are you?”

He grinned, his face reddened by the sun. He was cute in his ageing years, I thought, but I’d learnt not to trust good-looking guys who smiled at me like that. “Ms. Matthews?”

“Depends on who’s asking,” I replied slowly as his grin widened.

“No wonder he’s so infatuated with you.”

My eyes widened and I opened the door a little more, tapping the bat nervously on the floor. “What are you talking about?”

He cleared his throat and held out his hand. “I’m Jay Yardly. Can I come in for a minute? I won’t take up too much of your time, I promise.”

I eyed his hand, warning lights going off in my head. “Mr. Yardly, forgive me if I don’t let you in. I’m having a bit of a problem with the media and I’m afraid that you are probably one of them.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not a scumbag reporter,” he replied, dropping his hand and moving into his jacket, producing a card. “Here’s my business card. If you need a reference, I can get one of my clients on the phone, or my wife. She’s my secretary. She will vouch for me.”

I took the card and read the fine print, keeping the bat where he could see it.
Jay Yardly, Sports Agent
, it read. There was an email address and a few phone numbers but I hardly paid attention to them. Sports agent. That could only mean one thing. “That bastard, he sent you, didn’t he?”

Jay chuckled as I pocketed the card, shaking his head. “No, ma’am, he didn’t. If he knew I was here right now, he would cut off my balls, pardon my French.”

I opened the door wider and moved out of the way, intrigued to know what he wanted. He entered and I shut the door behind him, turning to face him. “You have two minutes, and if I find out you recorded this conversation in any way,
I
will cut your balls off.”

“Fair enough, wife won’t be pleased though,” he said with a sly grin, reaching into his pocket again and producing an envelope. “I’m here because he’s my friend and he needs some nudging. Honestly, this is all starting to affect his performance and I have to protect my investment.”

I raised my eyebrow at this, looking at the envelope. “Some friend you are.”

He chuckled again, palming the envelope. “Trust me, there’s more to this than just an investment.” He then extended the envelope toward me. “Take it.”

Swallowing, wondering what sort of Pandora’s box I was about to open this time, I took the envelope and ripped at the sealed flap, expecting to see some sort of payoff, money to silence me, which I would throw back in his face. I couldn’t be bought. Instead I was surprised to find a lanyard, with a plastic ticket attached to it.

“That is the hottest ticket in town right now,” he replied as I held it up. “Preseason field pass and locker room pass for this Saturday’s game. Pretty much all access.” Jay looked away for a second, but he turned back, his face earnest and kind. “I can’t make him come to you since he’s being all macho and stubborn, trying to protect you, so I was hoping you would go to him.”

“What makes you think I want to?” I challenged as he turned back toward me. “He’s made my life into a circus. I can’t even go to the grocery store without someone trying to take my picture.”

He gave me a sad smile, rubbing his hands together. “Ms. Matthews, that’s the world he lives in day to day. If you are going to be with him, you will have to get used to your privacy being constantly invaded.”

“And who says I want to be part of his world after what he did? Don’t you know what he did? He lied to me, made a bet to get me to that goddamn island, and then proceeded to play with my heart!”

“I know everything, Ms. Matthews. He hates himself for accepting that stupid bet and not being truthful with you, but it doesn’t change the fact that he loves you.”

“What? He loves me? How on earth could you possibly know that?”

Jay shrugged. “Takes one to know one, he’s got the same look as I did when I realized I was in love. And he won’t be anything without you. Anyway, I won’t waste any more of your time,” Jay said as he walked to the door. “If you decide to come Saturday night, just give me a call or text so I can make sure someone is there to meet you and take you where you need to go. It was nice meeting you.”

He let himself out, the door shutting behind him and leaving me in the apartment with my mouth hanging open. Connor loved me? No, there was no way he could love me. He wasn’t the type to settle down nor was he the type to have any kind of commitment in his life other than football. Love was an abstract concept to him and so farfetched for him, right?

I sighed and looked down at the ticket in my hand, displaying a picture of the team’s logo and words that gave me all access. Did I dare hope that Jay was telling the truth? And could I be prepared to face the consequences if his agent was wrong and I ended up back where I started yet again, this time with my heart not just merely broken, but shattered beyond all repair?

“
Y
ou ready
, man? You psyched, man? This is it! This is our moment to shine!”

I grinned as my three-hundred pound center jokingly punched me in the chest, his hand barely colliding with my pads. “This is just pre-season, Chase. Save some energy for the rest of the season.” Chase was the man that kept the defensive from coming over the top and crushing me like a pancake. He was my guy.

“I’m just jacked!” he announced, flexing his arms. “Besides, I’m still on a high after winning our little bet.”

“Shit man, don’t remind me. Worst mistake of my life.” I turned back to the locker and grabbed my jersey, sliding it over my head and fitting it around my pads with Chase’s help. Chase might have been jacked but I was a nervous wreck, as I was with every game—but I never let it show. The feeling never changed and after all the years I’d spent in this league, you’d think it’d get easier. But instead it got harder. Mentally I was going through all of the plays in my head, the positions I would need to hit in order to make them successful. Physically I was worried about the small hitch in my shoulder that had appeared after I’d finished lifting some weights yesterday. Every bump, bruise, or sore muscle was a concern for a quarterback, especially in my throwing arm. It was my money-maker and I couldn’t afford for it to be injured.

“Oh, come on, it couldn’t have been that bad. You got to spend a week with that sweet honey—”

“Yeah, that’s the problem: it was only a week. She found out and of course never wants to see me again.”

“Damnnn. Never thought I’d see the day. Connor Haden is fucking smitten, you in love, huh?” he teased, poking my ribs.

“Quit it. And so what if I am?”

“Fuck. Maybe I should give you your money back.”

I shook my head and turned away, needing to concentrate on the game and not April right now. With a roll of my shoulders I watched the other guys interact with each other, everyone excited that the season was finally upon us. It was what we had practiced for, what we had trained for, and with every new season there was the potential to get that elusive ring at the end of it. With my years starting to wane, retirement creeping closer in the distance, I didn’t have a whole lot of seasons left to obtain it. I had come close last year, leading the team to the playoffs only to lose in the second round. The feeling of being one step further had been amazing and I was hoping to have that happen again, maybe even this year. Even with the injuries to key players on the team, we still had a fucking good shot.

Reaching up, I grabbed my helmet and stood in the centre of the room, my teammates gathering around.

“Run hard! Hit hard! Win Hard!” I yelled. Every man roared in response, cheering and hollering, then started to file out of the locker room for warm-ups. Bringing up the tail end, as I traditionally always did, I followed them out and into the noisy tunnel. Normally it would be filled wall to wall with VIP guests on regular game days, but this was a preseason game, so the crowd was smaller, the hype not so much, but it was still loud as hell. Either way, I enjoyed it all. Every game, every practice was just as important as the last because, well… it could be the last.

Some athletes took it for granted and didn’t realize that they weren’t invincible until it was too late. I’d watched numerous guys come into the sport and leave just as quickly because they didn’t respect the game, every single game.

As I approached the end of the tunnel, the luscious deep green of the field partially visible, I noticed Jay at the end, a grin on his face as he conversed with a woman in a baseball cap with our team’s logo emblazed on it.

“Dude, you ready to rock this game?” Jay asked as I reached them. My retort died on my tongue as my eyes collided with the woman’s, my heart pounding in my chest.

No. It couldn’t be. Was I hallucinating?

“What are you doing here?”

* * *

I swallowed the major lump clogging up my throat as my gaze met Connor’s. I had to ask myself the same question. What was I thinking coming here? Effectively giving this bastard a second chance to obliterate my heart, and who in the great scheme of things certainly did not deserve to be forgiven.

But after thinking about it for a long while, playing the scenario over and over in my mind, and losing quite a lot of sleep over it, I’d come to the decision that I needed to see Connor, to see if what Jay was saying was true. I needed closure of some kind.

And if he truly loved me, well, perhaps it would change everything. Right now though, he looked like he had seen a ghost. I’d watched out of the corner of my eye as he’d come down the tunnel, bringing up the rear end, and lord did my knees tremble. He was so unbelievably hot in his football gear, right down to the smeared streaks of black under his beautiful eyes.

“Hey, Connor.”

“A-April,” he stuttered. “Hi.”

“I’m just going to leave you two here to have a quick chat,” Jay replied, clapping Connor on the back. “Don’t forget you need to be on the field in a few.”

“No shit,” Connor responded, his eyes never leaving my face as Jay walked away. I could hear the noise of the crowd a few feet away, knowing that he probably needed to get out there, but really all I wanted to do was soak up the sight of him. I’d missed him so much and the feelings, the emotions welling up in my chest told me that I had been right in coming. At least for the moment.

“So,” I said, clasping my hands together. “Are you nervous about your game tonight?”

“God, you’re beautiful,” he said instead, a slight grin coming over his face. “How did you get here, April?”

I held up the pass that hung around my neck, giving him a small smile in return. “I’m apparently free to roam this place as much as I want to.”

He laughed, his handsome face breaking out in a full on grin. “Apparently someone beat me to the punch in getting your ticket and a better one at that.”

I nodded, remembering our banter about attending a game and which team I pulled for. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling to know he hadn’t forgotten. Connor looked at the pass again, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “Good luck with that all access thing there. I can’t even have all access and I practically live in this place.” His expression softened, doing funny things to my stomach. “I’m damn happy to see you, April, and I think if you would let me, I have some things to explain…”

“I’m happy to see you too, Connor.” He reached out and touched my cheek lightly, his finger barely grazing my skin before he dropped it, a fire in his eyes that was starting to ignite a longing between my legs. “I think you need to get out there before they start rioting.”

“Can we talk afterwards?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. “I mean somewhere quiet, or go out to dinner or something? I’ll do anything.”

I breathed hard, my heart beating in time with the drums in the stadium. I could agree to that. “Okay.”

Connor surged forward, dropping his helmet to the ground, and he rushed to me, his hands taking the sides of my face and pushing me hard against the cold tunnel wall. For a second we looked into each other’s eyes, his green and full of lust, and I couldn’t breathe. His tongue darted over his bottom lip, and then he kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Like this would be the last time ever, making every second count.

“Hey, QB! Connor!” Connor released me from the mind-blowing kiss and stepped back at the voice. “Oh… didn’t realize you had company. Who’s the honey?”

“Chase, I’ll be there in a minute,” Connor replied, never taking his eyes off me. I clung to the wall, for fear I was about to fall down; my legs didn’t feel very stable.

“Oh! You’re April, you’re the one, aren’t you?” Chase came closer, looking between us.

I broke the staring contest we’d been having and nodded to Chase. Wait, did he say
the one?
What did he mean by that?

“Hey, hope there’s no hard feelings about the bet—it was all our fault, really. Hope you can forgive my man here. He’s had his head in the clouds because of you.”

My mouth dropped and Chase gave me a cheeky smile.

“Chase! Shut your big mouth,” Connor scolded.

“Whatever QB, come on, we got a game to play. Nice to meet you, April!” Chase hurried off, his big ass jiggling down the tunnel. He was a big guy, but damn could he move.

“Is it true?” I asked, my eyes bashful.

“Was there any doubt?” Connor replied with a wink. He picked up his helmet and surprised me with a chaste kiss on the lips before walking backwards down the tunnel. “I’ll come find you later. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

I nodded, biting my lip to stop from smiling. Okay!” I shouted at him.

I sighed as he disappeared from view, knowing I had made the right choice for now. I loved him, and I believed that after what Jay had told me and Chase’s comments, there was a chance that Connor loved me. He just might not know. Either way, I intended to find out.

Straightening my hat, I pushed off the wall and walked to where Jay was standing, his grin wide as I approached. “So?”

“Thank you,” I said, fidgeting with the pass around my neck. “You seem to be a good friend to him.”

“Well, he does make me rich,” he laughed, extending his arm. “Plus, I love the bastard. Come on, let’s get you to your seat so you can root for Connor in the lap of the luxury box I got for you.”

“That sounds awesome.” I laughed as I took his arm and allowed him to lead me through the maze of the stadium.