Rowena Through the Wall: Expanded Edition (22 page)

Was every man in this forsaken land determined to take away my control?

I realized Kendra was speaking. She was discussing the merits of Sargon versus Cedric.

"Of the two," she said, "who would you pick if you had the choice?"

"Three, you mean. There's Gareth too."

"Who is he again?"

"The blond Viking fellow from up north. The one who walked through the wall into our classroom. He paid the wizard to open the portal to our world."

"So you'd choose him?

I shook my head, the answer crystal clear to me now. Why had it taken so long to take hold? Physical affection was one thing. A lot of men can give you that, or so I'd learned here. But I longed for something more, something sweeter and lasting.

I longed for love.

Should I tell her the laughable, ironic truth? That the one man who hadn't made love to me was the one whose company I craved?

Thane…

"That's the thing, isn't it?" I said, my mouth curling in disdain. "We don't have the choice in this patriarchal world."

Her dark eyes flashed. "Would you stay with Cedric rather than go back to Sargon?"

"Neither, if I had the choice." I gazed out the window, across the fields of Huel. "I'm not sure I can explain it, but it's been there from the start and I've been terrified. Cedric draws me. Something to do with chemistry I guess. Or maybe magic. I don't even think he's handsome. I can't really be sure how I feel about him, except
for this magnetic attraction―like atoms smashing together. Besides, he doesn't love me."

Kendra picked fuzz off her dress. "How do you know that?"

"He's letting me go back to Sargon, isn't he? And he has never said one nice thing about my looks. Not a word
." I cringed. "God, my head hurts."

"Withdrawal probably. You're coming off the drugs. Any idea what he gave you?"

"I expect it was an opiate."

She gaped at me. "Row, you surprise me!"

"What? We tested opiates in the lab, fourth year."

Kendra reached into the black leather pouch around her waist. "Here's aspirin for your head." She handed it to me. "And let me bandage that burn. I brought everything with me."

She opened her backpack and took out a first aid kit with gauze and adhesive tape and antibiotic cream.

"You're a lifesaver, Kendra. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

"No, truly," I said, meaning every word. "I've never had a friend like you."

A pause.

"You don't judge me," I said, "and goodness knows, I'm one heck of a bad example."

"That's not true. You're kind, brave and very smart. You try to take care of me when no one else ever did."

We sat in companionable silence.

"You also smell a bit," she added. "I think you should have a wash before your husband returns."

"Oh, horse poop," I said. "Bless you for thinking of that."

Later, after I had bathed and Kendra and I had eaten, she found another lace to do up my bodice.

I had a sudden thought. "Where's Duke?"

My canine friend had yet to make an appearance.

"Logan says he went south with Ivan," Kendra replied.

That was sad news. I would miss the gentle beast.

There was a commotion in the courtyard.

We picked up our bags and hurried down the stairs.

Stepping through the great front doors, we were greeted by a line o
f at least twenty riders on horseback. The front riders held flags―the royal coat of arms in purple and silver. The horses were dressed in colors too.

It was a magnificent sight.

Cedric stood on the bottom step with his hand on the hilt of his sword. When
I reached his side, I stood behind him.

Sargon jumped down from his horse, his cape swinging as he strode across the rocky ground.

"Where are the fiends?" he bellowed.

"I killed them," Cedric said.

"Did they hurt her?"

"Willen branded her on the arm. She took it well."

Sargon's face went black. "Did he―"

"No. I got there in time. Just."

Sargon noticed me. "Rowena, are you well?"

"I'm fine."

"Did Cedric treat you with respect?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yes, Sire. He treated me very well."

I caught Kendra's eye. Don't say
a word, I willed.

"Huel, it seems I owe you a debt of immense proportion."

It must have cost him dearly to say that. I almost guffawed at the irony. The air defused. I could breathe again.

Cedric stared at me. "She is my flesh and blood and deserves my protection."

"You've changed," Sargon said.

"Perhaps in your eyes." Cedric crossed his muscular arms.

They stared at each other across ten feet. Cedric, a red-blond lion in the sunlight. And Sargon, the older black wolf. They were dangerous opponents.

I vowed right then to do everything I could to keep them apart.

"We go now," Sargon said. "Rowena, to your horse."

"One moment." Cedric turned and placed his hands on my shoulders. "One week," he whispered. "I'll see you then. And never fear, I've found a way to have the things I want."

Logan approached us, calling for Kendra, whose eyes lit up when she saw him.

A groom brought our horses from the stables.

I wore my fanny pack with the Derringer inside. I vowed to keep it close in future. In this world, who knows when I'd need it again? I hooked my pink backpack to the saddle and mounted Lightning. She was ready to race.

As we cantered out the gates, I took one last look behind me.

Cedric stood in the sun, glowing like a fallen angel.

We stopped at the river to water the horses.

"Before you start the lecture," I said to Sargon, "I won't ever do it again. I've had punishment enough and I'm not a fool. I didn't know about those men from the forest. No one ever told me."

He glared. "I don't understand why you went in
the first place."

"We needed some things from home," I said. "
Female
things. You don't have them here."

His face reddened.

"We have enough for a long time now―many months," I said. "So you can rest easy. I won't leave the castle grounds again."

"Nor visit
the field without an escort."

Well, I expected that.

I mounted Lightning and walked her beside Sargon's horse.

"We finished with the scout this morning," he said. "There are bad times coming."

"You tortured him, didn't you? Then killed him."

His silence told me all.

"Why? Why did you kill him? He was only following orders."

"There's one less spy in the world to worry about," he said with little emotion.

I lost it. "It's barbaric. You talk of the northern men that way, but you're no better in the south."

He reined in his horse. "You will not criticize an order of mine. Not here among others or in private." His tone was menacing. "As much as I might amuse myself by seeking your views on strategy, you will not offer your opinion unless I ask for it. I am the king. You are my wife and you owe me fealty."

I think I started hating him at that moment. It was all I could do not to turn back to Castle Huel.

I slept alone that night.

The next morning, I was awakened by a sparrow singing on the windowsill.
A sparrow…

Oh my God.

The birds had returned to Land's End.

Chapter 25

Here's what I've learned about men. As long as you continue to have sex with them, they think you love them. The second you deny sex for any reason, they feel rejected in all ways.

I didn't deny Sargon sex. To do so would be dangerous. I submitted to him and tried to tolerate the carnal aspects of our relationship.

Hate is an emotion not so far from love, I found. If one is indifferent, there is no energy. But hate brings its own force and I met Sargon's ardor with a passion just as powerful.

He never knew. I hid it well.

I set a goal for those nightly trysts. To learn the secret of his parentage. Except for that first night back, he didn't leave me alone, so I had a few nights to see the animal that ruled him. I kept my eyes open when I could and sometimes I saw his features change to something not quite human.

On our fourth night back, the moons were full and he bit my shoulder with such ferocity that I bled. I'm sure my scream could be heard clear to the northern fortresses. He licked the wound clean before I could stop him.

After, he seemed shocked and confused. Without speaking, he left the room by the hidden door and wandered the courtyard in the night shadows.

I feared him as I had never feared anyone. And I had a devil of a time keeping my shoulder hidden from curious eyes.

Sargon's days were busy planning for the tournament and strategizing defense. The men spent their time training in the outer fields. Logan and Richard were gone every day and we met only at dinner, which was usually a jocular affair of recounting the day's mock battles.

Thane kept his distance from me.

But I couldn't stop looking at him.

I spent my time with Kendra in the stables, tending animals and doing domestic chores. Together, we helped birth the foal. It was a wondrous event. The grooms shared in our joy and their respect for us grew. Kendra learned quickly. She had a gentle touch with the creatures and I felt their love for her.

Everyone was talking about the birds, of course. The bees had come back too. Somehow the curse had been broken.

I had a horrible feeling I knew why.

I tried not to think of Cedric, but I kept the Roman coin with me as a talisman.

On our fifth day back, I discovered a treasure trove. Thane had mentioned a storage room and suggested we look there for more clothes. Kendra had only four dresses. I had already wrecked as many. Things were getting desperate.

I opened the storage room door and found a dozen or so trunks lining the walls. The first one we opened was filled with capes and furs. The next held a mound of clothing and bolts of fabric, all in pristine condition.

"They must get winter here," Kendra said. "Look at this lovely cape." It was dark red and trimmed with fur.

I pulled out a second, longer cape with a hood trimmed in white fox. "One for each of us. That red will look smashing with your hair."

The next two trunks were filled with summer dresses. Kendra rummaged through one, while I started on the other. In my trunk there were day dresses in muslin and two sleeveless gowns in lightweight silk.

"This is so exciting!" Kendra squealed.

"I love this lilac," I said, lifting it out of the trunk. "And I think it will fit."

I removed the dress I was wearing and heard Kendra gasp.

"What happened to your shoulder?" she asked.

I stood stock still. "It's nothing."

She pushed my hair out of the way. "Jesus. It looks like an animal tried to take a chunk out of you."

I sidestepped out of her reach.

Her eyes were like saucers. "He did this, didn't he?"

"D
on't say anything to anybody. Please." My hands shook.

"My God, Row. Has he done this before?"

A pause. I nodded.

"You can't let him do this. It has to stop. He could really hurt you. What if he went for your throat by mistake? Let me get Logan to―"

"No!"
I cried. "Don't do anything. You don't understand. It won't help. And above all, don't let on that you've seen this. You wouldn't be safe. I have to tough it out for a while."

Her mouth gaped. "You've got to get away from him."

"I know." Boy, did I know. "But not yet. Cedric's coming. Soon. I can feel it."

Kendra sat down on the floor. "Row, this is awful. Does he really turn into a wolf?"

"Part of him does," I said, clutching the lilac dress to my chest. "I see it in his eyes. They look…vacant sometimes."

"You poor thing. And nobody knew. You've been protecting us all by keeping this to yourself. "

"I can't let Grandfather know. It would kill him. Especially since there's nothing he can do about it until Cedric gets here."

Kendra shook her head. "I never thought I'd say this, but I will be so glad when he gets here."

Me too, I silently agreed.

"What will he do?" she asked.

"Cedric? I'm not sure exactly. He knows magic, so it could be anything."