Rowena Through the Wall: Expanded Edition (35 page)

Grandfather released a long sigh. "Come with me, Rowena. The others will follow."

I followed, ever dutiful. Anything to get away from the horror.

We rode for several miles before my grandfather spoke again.

"This was not necessary. This was evil."

Silent tears worked their way down my cheeks. Grandfather caught me wiping them away.

"I'm sorry, dear one. I can imagine what you saw. Can you be brave until we reach the castle? Then you may weep, as much as you need. But for now, we need to travel."

I nodded and sniffed a bit. "You all came to find me."

"Of course," he said, as if that were only natural.

He kicked his horse to a gallop, and mine followed suit. We rode to the east and then north. At least I'd had slept last night and was able to keep up.

When we reached the stables at Huel, I held back and cornered Richard. "What did Cedric mean, how much I'd be worth?"

Richard's face went scarlet.

"Tell me," I implored. "I've got to know for my own safety."

"The few women who survived the war four years ago live in the coastal towns to the south and east. They are mostly over fifty and along with some young men, they serve a certain…function."

"Ah," I said. I got it now. "We call that 'the oldest profession.'"

"So I am told." He coughed. "Though I've never been there."

He was alone in that, I thought.

"I am also told," he said, "that there are boatmen along the eastern coast who go raiding to other lands."

Oh Lord, what a frightening thought.

"I must warn Kendra," I said.

We walked across the courtyard to the castle steps and went inside to the great hall where Kendra joined us.

Before anyone could mention funeral arrangements, I said, "What is the punishment for killing a brother?"

An uncomfortable pause ensued. Either they were shocked by my blunt language or the fact that I had spoken first.

"At best, banishment," Grandfather said.

I held my breath. "If Cedric goes, must I?"

"Not legally. But this is Cedric. He'll probably force you, kidnap you."

My stomach churned in rebellion. "I won't go. I can't leave all of you. I've had a long time to think about this on the ride back. I'll go to Thane tomorrow and bargain with him for Cedric's freedom."

"What are you talking about? What can you do to force a king be lenient?"

I looked him in the eye and his white brows drew together in outrage.

"Don't tell me he'll want to play chess, girl. I'm not a fool."

It was my turn to be angry. "What would you have me do, Sir? If there is price, I must pay it. I'm not even sure there is a chance I can do anything, but I must try. For my sake more than Cedric's. I cannot be chained to him in some foreign country. He terrifies me." My voice rose in near hysteria.

Kendra trembled and tears welled in her eyes. Richard reached out to comfort her and I was envious.

There was no one here to comfort me.

"Every time Cedric uses magic, he becomes more inhuman. Like Sargon was. If you could have seen him in that room…" I couldn't finish. "Surely you have thought of what Cedric might do if he is banished?"

The vertical grooves in Grandfather's face deepened.

"Think of it," I said. "He would bide his time and then bring all the black magic he could to retaliate. We would be enveloped in it and never be free. You
know
Cedric. He would grow stronger and stronger until none could oppose him. Hundreds would die." My voice dropped to a bare whisper. "I can be a whore for less than that."

Grandfather cried out in anguish.

I didn't care. Why mince words? I was tired of it all. Tired of always having to figure out the best way to survive. Tired of being the one to make the sacrifices when I was treated as so much less than others. Dammit, I wasn't the one who got us into this jam.

"You continually dismiss me because I am a woman, and yet here I am bailing us out when I can, doing what I can to protect us all." With all the pride of Joan of Arc, I faced my Grandfather. "Cedric has killed twice now. He killed the king and now his own brother. In cold blood."

"It is beyond belief," Grandfather said. "Our house is doomed."

"Would you not do anything you could to save this family? Of course you would. But you can't help us now." I pointed to Jon. "He can't help us either. Only I can."

Grandfather gave a defeated nod. "I would rather die than have you disgraced."

"Are you are prepared to sacrifice Richard and Kendra, as well as yourself? Jon and me too?"

He shook his head.

"I can give Thane what he desires to keep him content, whatever that may be," I said. "I'll figure it out. I'm good that way."

"Do you not see, Rowena? The way you are, as you so plainly put it, is exactly why you are in such danger here. If you were a simpering fool, they wouldn't want you."

My heart skipped a beat in dismay. "So I should leave? I should go back to where I came from?"

"No, no!"

"The portal is closed, Grandfather. I couldn't go back if I wanted to."

"You can't go. What would I do here without you? I'd worry every minute." Grandfather paced the floor. "I need to think how to keep you safe. Why is it so hard to do
?"

We stared at each other.

I loved him―I loved them all. But they made it difficult.

"I'll leave for Sargonia tomorrow," I said.

Chapter 35

We buried Ivan in the morning. My heart was heavy with shock and despair. I forgave him everything on that misty morn. Ivan, my kin―so full of life. How could he be gone now? I had lain with this man. He may have fathered my child. If I could have wished him back, I would have with all my heart.

Once more, I felt the naked horror of Cedric's action. To take a life is
a monstrous thing. To kill a brother is heinous.

I dressed for my trip to Sargonia with care. The white Grecian dress was demure, yet regal. It would suit for today.

Kendra watched me prepare.

"Before you say anything," I said," this is something I must do alone."

She nodded and hugged me hard. Of them all, she understood.

The trip to Castle Sargon was a somber one. Jon went with me, as well as two of his men. We reached the iron gates in early evening. Thane's men were silent as we passed.

Our tragic news had traveled fast.

I realized then that we had missed the coronation. As well, it seemed the tournament had never taken place. Our recent turmoil had left everyone on edge and the warriors had dispersed, the camps empty.

Something else occurred to me.

I was no longer queen.

Thane watched from the balcony as we rode in. As we reined in, he turned and disappeared from sight. Moments later, he materialized on the castle steps. He wore the royal broach. It meant he had been crowned.

My heart flipped.

Thane's eyes blazed when I drew near. He noted the others and gave them a nod.

"This is a sad day for you," he told me. "I am sorry."

I sucked in air to keep my voice steady. "I've come to bargain for Cedric's freedom."

He frowned, placed one foot up on the stone masonry and leaned his arm on one knee. I was reminded of
The Thinker
statue by Rodin.

"What do you plan to offer in return?" he asked.

I was acutely aware of the others witnessing our conversation.

"Whatever it takes," I said.

He straightened. "This is bes
t discussed in private. Shall we retire to the library and think about this over a game of chess?"

I nodded and followed Thane into the castle.

Once again, I found myself in the library. It should have put me at ease, but I was oddly distressed by the familiarity of it―and by Thane.

"Sit," he said.

He reached for a decanter and poured two goblets of wine. He handed me one, then drank his down completely, refilling it.

I only sipped the wine.

"Let's play." He watched me, measuring. "Do you enjoy gambling? Yo
u win, I grant your request. I win, you agree to meet my terms."

I licked my dry lips. "That's fair."

More than fair. He had never won a game yet.

He straddled a chair. "You will notice I have been playing our game on this board. I have set the pieces as we have played them thus far. Shall we continue?"

My heart leapt to my throat.

It was as he said. The pieces were ready for play. Our game played from afar had meant something to him. But I had cheapened that by coming here today with my request.

"Your turn, Lady," he said, draining his goblet once more.

As he refilled his goblet, I looked at the board. The next move was so obvious I played immediately.

He took no time and played his next.

I stared at him, dismayed. How had he responded so quickly?

I contemplated various strategies. My hand shook as I placed the piece.

Again, he moved without taking any time.

"You've been practicing," I said.

"Daily. I wanted to be worthy of you."

I almost broke down then. I looked at the pieces. My eyes watered and I couldn't concentrate. Flustered, I stood and stared out the window. Mist was rising up the hill. I reached for my goblet, took a drink and touched the knight.

Why couldn't I think?

I hesitated, let go of the knight and moved the bishop.

"Check," Thane said.

My eyes flashed from the board to him.

Thane had won.

"I've played your side of the chessboard as well as my own every day since you've been gone," he said. "I studied every possible combination of moves you might make."

My Lord, Thane was clever. Much more so than his brother.

I pushed away from the table. He stood up as well.

"Your terms?" I said, finding it difficult to talk.

"You. Here. One night every month."

I swallowed hard. "And Cedric goes free? You will not banish him?"

His expression hardened. "He would take you if I did."

My eyes never left his. "I don't know how this could be managed."

"Manage it. Those are my terms."

We stared at each other for a long moment.

"Agreed," I whispered, looking away.

I heard something hit the floor. When I turned, I saw his belt lying at his feet.

"Take off your dress," he said in a hoarse voice.

I couldn't move. My heart was in a vice.

"Take off your dress and get on the bed."

To my horror, I started to cry. With shaking hands, I undid the front laces and lifted the dress over my head. I held it in front of me, walked like a zombie to the bed in the next room and sat down.

Thane followed, stripping off his tunic and britches.

He terrified me, this stranger looking down at me with the stone face. Where was my Thane?

"Why are you crying?" he snapped. "You agreed to this."

"It has been a very bad two days and…I'm mortified," I said between sobs. "I never thought I would mean only
this
to you."

I thought he loved me.

He cursed and slammed the bedpost with his fist. "You think I hold you in contempt? I
love
you! With all my heart. I am furious that you would do this for Cedric. I hate him."

We stared at each other across an abyss of emotion.

"But I'm not doing this for him," I cried. "I'm doing it for me. I don't want to be dragged off to some foreign country." Away from you.

He growled and spun on one heel. "Give me a moment to cool down." At the window, he leaned against the frame. "I am sorry,

Rowena. This is not what I had planned." He held onto the window frame for support.

I sniffled. "Kings never say they're sorry."

"This one does." His voice was gruff. "I had planned to make love to you, not punish you like this.
But the anger I feel―the unbearable need to possess and control you―is intolerable. There must be something of my brother in me after all."

"You are
not
your brother," I said softly.

"The light is going." He released a tortured sigh and faced me."Will you
do something for me? I want to see you before the light goes." He moved toward me, his arm outreached. "Let me take your dress, Rowena. Let me see you. Indulge me this one thing. I have longed for it, dreamed of it."