Rough Edges (18 page)

“I still don’t understand what’s going on,” Paige griped, yanking the seatbelt over her chest. “Are we going to Grandma and Grandpa’s right now or not?”

Allie closed her eyes, wishing she knew how to rewind time. Make it so this day never happened. “We are,” she said. “We’re just… instead of making the cake I’m buying one at the store. You like store-bought better anyway, right?”

Paige shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. But is Braden really not going to be there?” Allie couldn’t help but appreciate the concern she heard in her voice.

“No,” she said, backing out of the driveway. “But Bree’s still coming with the kids. Blake & Gavin are bringing their kids too.”

“What about Shane and Logan?” Jillian asked from the backseat.

Allie nodded. “They’ll be there.”

“Dad’s not going, is he?” Jillian sounded hesitant to ask.

“Nope.” Allie gave her a pointed look through the rearview. “Your dad will not be there.” Which was a good thing. After his latest scheme, she couldn’t even fathom being civil to the man.

“I still don’t see why you don’t tell us what’s going on,” Paige said. “Did you and Dad talk some more? Did you and Braden break up? Just tell us.”

Paige had every right to ask. She did. Yet for a moment – if for nothing more than habit alone – Allie worked to build yet another barrier against the truth. It’d been hours since she’d picked them up from school. Hours of Allie dodging conversation with either girl. She’d simply dropped them at the house, told them she had to go, and that they needed to be ready by seven o’clock so they could go to Grandma and Grandpa’s. And then she’d gone driving. Chasing the massive storm through large open plains as she agonized over the fact that Braden had fallen for Terrance’s ridiculous scheme. That he was hurting, and there was nothing she could do about it.

At last Allie glanced over at Paige. She was about to ask if her father had texted her but decided she didn’t care. Right now she would hear the truth from Allie’s mouth. “Okay,” she said. “Your dad texted Braden at like, one in the morning.”

“No way,” Paige said. An undeniable grin tugged at her lips. “Wow, he’s like, totally jealous.”

“Well,” Allie said, squinting against the night, “let me rephrase that. He texted him from
my
phone. Pretending to be me.”

She glanced over in time to see the smile fade. Allie had already guessed where Terrance heard about her and Braden’s relationship. And though she knew Paige would admit it if she asked, Allie didn’t want her to think she blamed her for the whole mess.

“Are you kidding?” Jillian piped up from behind. “What did he say?”

Allie gripped the wheel with a deep sense of dread; she wasn’t used to being so open about what went on between her and Terrance. “Let me see if I can sum all of this up,” she said. “I texted Braden this morning and told him that Terrance had come back and thrown a wrench into things. I said that I’d be late for work.”

“So you and Dad didn’t do anything after you dropped us off?” Paige asked, keeping her head turned over the opposite shoulder. 

“No. Just… After I dropped you off, I took Dad to Grandma’s and told him I wasn’t interested in getting back together.”

Paige spun back around to look at her.

“Which,” Allie added, “I had already said to him right in front of you.”

She nodded and looked back out the window. “I know.”

Allie went on to explain how she’d gone to the woodshop, and that Braden was nowhere to be found. “Anyway,” she said. “So I pull out my phone to see if I’d missed a text and discover Dad’s text to him.”

Both girls gasped. “What did it say?” Jillian asked.

“It said something like: sorry, but Terrance is back and I’m going to try to work things out with him and so don’t call or try to get hold of me again, basically.”

“That jerk,” Jillian snapped.

“Careful,” Allie said, “that’s your dad you’re talking about, Jilly.”

“So what? I can’t believe he would do that.”

Allie shook her head. “Me neither, honestly.”

“Braden didn’t believe it, did he?” Paige asked in a quiet voice.

“I wish I could say that he didn’t, but he did. I know because he emailed Bree and told her about it.” Allie thought back on what she’d seen on the floor. “It must’ve affected him quite a bit too because I found his phone smashed into pieces at the house.”

Paige sucked a gust of air through her teeth. “Ooh. So where is he now?”

Allie bit at her lip as she tried to sift through the details. It’d probably be best if she gave them a little history on Bree’s story. “Not exactly. You know how Grandpa Emerson and his brother take in witnesses sometimes, or people who need a safe, secret place to stay?”

They nodded silently.

“Well, Bree went through something a while ago that could put her in danger down the road. So to protect her, Braden bought a home that nobody knows about. A place she could go in case she needed to hide. He told Bree he was headed there. He has a tenant living there but apparently there’s a guest house he can stay in.” Allie’s heart sunk as she added one last detail. “The trouble is, no one knows where it is.”

“Not even
Bree
knows?” Jillian asked.

Allie winced. “Not even Bree. She said it’s in Oregon somewhere but that’s all she knows.”

Paige tilted her head. “Wait, so you guys haven’t even talked to him?”

“No. Neither of us has been able to. His cellphone’s history. And if he has some sort of phone at the place he bought, well, he’d have to call us, because we wouldn’t be able to find the number.”

Those few, final words seemed to put a lid on the conversation. It wasn’t until they were in front of the grocery store that Jillian spoke up. “How long would he stay there?’ she asked. “I mean. He has to come back and run the woodshop. Right?”

Allie had been telling herself that very thing. “Right. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” The lights at Lee’s Grocery might have shone bright against the night, but all Allie could see was black. Once the car was in park, Jillian reached around the seat to cup her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mom. You must feel sick right now.”

Sick was right. Nauseous, dizzy, and ill in every way. She wanted to drop the girls off at her parents and spend the next few days driving and crying and sinking into her own chasm of hell. “It’ll be alright,” she managed, looking first at Jillian, and then Paige. She unlocked her seatbelt, blew out a breath, and forced a smile. “Now let’s go pick out some cake.”

Braden held the remote with numb fingers, stared at the flashing screen with dead eyes, and worked to revive his buried brain. When his lids began drifting to a slow and unwilling close, he shook his head and ran a hand over his face, wondering if he should get back on the road or try one final time to get some shuteye. He’d planned to drive straight to the orchard house without so much as a stop, but between sleep-deprivation and the torment in his own head, he’d been no good behind the wheel. Trouble was, sleep wasn’t in the cards for him either. He checked the motel clock – 9:00 p.m.
What am I thinking?
He’d skipped sleep last night completely, driven more than half the day through, and was seriously considering heading on the road again? Not a chance.

He slid his thumb along the buttons on the remote, pausing once he hovered over the giant one up top. He pressed it down at last, watching as the light drained from the room. The sound went along with it, a weak echo that clung to the walls before dying out completely. In the quiet darkness, Braden’s pain bubbled and swelled, filling the space with something more prominent than lights and noise – heartache. Anger. Rage. How could he have been so stupid? Here he’d given Allie a lecture on picking up a snake and whining about getting bit. But hadn’t
he
learned over the years? Hadn’t he seen that – for whatever reason – Allie Emerson would stick with Terrance through thick, thin, and everything in between? Heck, forget about thick and thin, she’d swim through poison if it meant stopping that SOB from getting what he deserved.

The truth of it was a life force all its own, racing through his limbs as he shot to a stand in the dark room. The anguished heat fueled him on as he gripped hold of the pillows with tight, aching hands. He chucked them toward the window before throwing his bag off the bed as well. After the quilt hit the floor, Braden gripped onto the sheets. Yet right as his hands clenched, readying to tear the linens clean off the mattress, a soft voice spoke to his mind. Very much like the one he’d heard back on the day he’d nearly beat Carl Ronsberg to a pulp.
Stop.

The shock alone caused him to drop to his knees. He rested his head before him, wondering what he should do with himself. He loved Allie Emerson. Loved her with every piece of his heart. And those girls…

A new gashing tear cut through his chest. Ripping the hole bigger. Forcing it deeper. Braden had started to think things were finally coming back around. That his valiant acts from years past were finding their reward after all this time. He’d thought that perhaps God was aware of all he’d sacrificed, of just how very right he was for Allie and those girls. What were they in for now?

With his elbows resting on the bed before him, Braden clenched his hands together and closed his eyes. “
Please,
God,” he uttered for the first time in years. “You know as well as I do that I’ve turned into a weak and selfish man. But not where Allie’s concerned. I promise I’ve tried to do right by her. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve tried.” He suddenly became aware of the aching tension in his body; it was almost strangling. With great effort, he worked to release the strain of his hands and forearms. To ease the noose-like knots around his neck.

“I need her,” he continued, “and I think she needs me too. But if I’m meant to step aside and let her go…” Braden paused there, unwilling to make a promise he couldn’t keep. The rest was too painful to utter, so he spoke in his heart instead.
I’ll let her go if that’s what’s best for her.
Never had a single phrase crushed him the way this sentence did. But he’d meant it. He’d do anything for Allie. And that included setting her free even now.

At once his body went lax. From its stiff and rigid form of determination, to a melted heap of surrender. And though the words no longer spilled across his tongue, they continued to flow through his mind just the same. Only heaven knew where things would go, how this journey was supposed to end. Braden just hoped that – wherever it led – he could survive the ride. 

“So, did you have a nice time?” Allie asked, stroking Jillian’s hair. Nearly half an hour had passed since the worn out teen had sought respite from the rowdy play involving Sophie, Carter, and the nephews on the Emerson side. She’d slumped next to her on the couch and hadn’t moved a muscle since.

“Yeah,” Jillian said. “I’m glad the cousins were here. It gave Bree’s kids someone closer to their own age to play with.”

“And you a chance to snuggle up to Porter for a while,” Allie added.

Jilly’s face reddened. “Yeah, until they all wanted to play with us too,” she said with a laugh.

Allie nodded. “Yeah. Seemed like they had a lot of fun.”

“Mm hmm,” Jillian agreed. “I wonder when Uncle Shane’s going to get married.”

“Probably won’t be long now.” Of course Allie’s cousin, Shane, wasn’t exactly the girls’ uncle, but he was close enough. And it was how Paige and Jillian had known Allie’s cousins all their lives.

“How are you holding up?” Jillian asked, resting her head on Allie’s shoulder.

And there it went, that flaring ball of heat burning in her chest. The reminder of all that had taken place that day. “I’m doing alright,” she said. “I’ve had plenty to help take my mind off the whole thing, so that’s good. I didn’t mention it to Reese or Jade because I knew if I did I’d be a total wreck. And there’s no way I’d say a word to Grandma about it.”

Jillian giggled.

“But there were a few times I caught eye-contact with Bree, and she’d give me this sad sort of smile that kind of confirmed that this day really happened. It wasn’t all some bad dream.” There’d been a few times she’d even had to escape, dash out front or to the restroom to wipe at worried tears. The frustration of it all was maddening – a simple phone call would clear up the entire thing, but even that was impossible. For now, anyway.

Jillian pulled in a deep breath and then sighed. “Bummer.”

“Yep.” Allie nestled her cheek onto Jillian’s head, the softness of her hair against her skin. “Wonder where Paige went. She disappeared once we finished the dishes.”

“Grandma probably knows,” Jillian said.

“You’re right. Hey, Mom?” Allie hollered.

Lilly came hustling out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Do you know where Paige is?” Jillian asked.

Her mother scurried back into the kitchen while hollering over her shoulder. “She’s out back with your father. Here,” she said, rushing into to the front room with a covered plate in her hands. “This is for Braden. Tell him to get feeling better soon. And that we expect to see him here next time around.”

“I will. Thanks, Mom.” Allie’s gaze dropped to the still-warm plate of food as she rested it on her lap. The gesture meant a lot. “He’ll love this,” she said, knowing that – were Braden really home sick as she’d said– he would surely appreciate it.

Lilly leaned against the wall for a blink. “Seems to me we might have a bit of match-makin’ to do.”

Allie looked at her mother sideways. “I hope you’re not talking about Logan. Because he needs to try to work things out with Candice.”

Her mother waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Oh, heavens no, dear. I’m talking about Bree. I had someone lined up to come over tonight but it appears he couldn’t make it either.” She picked at her fingernails while muttering under her breath, her face pinched with irritation. “… ‘course a phone call might have been nice…” The sound of a loud knock at the front door made Allie jump. And before she could stop it, her heart took a similar leap into a fast-paced beat of anticipation.

Jillian lifted her head from Allie’s shoulder and gave her a questioning look.

“No,” Allie murmured under her breath. She knew just who Jillian thought might be on the other side of that door, mainly because the idea had popped into her own head. But there was no way Braden was there.

Lilly was already at the door, pulling it open while Allie gripped onto the plate in her lap like her life depended on it; it was the only thing keeping her from floating into a reckless world of hope.

“Well, speak of the devil,” her mother chimed. “Come in, come in.”

Both Jillian and Allie leaned forward, straining to see past Lilly. Dark denim. A light T-shirt. Allie’s heart pumped faster as she tilted her head, accelerating even more as Lilly stepped aside to let him in. At last their guest entered the room, allowing Allie to see his hair – a sandy blond. Her heart dropped.

“Sorry I’m late,” the man said. “I was stuck on an over-the-phone job interview.”

“Tsk,” Lilly grumbled. “Who does phone interviews at this time of night?”

The guy shrugged in return. “People who hire bodyguards like me.”

Their conversation continued as Allie sunk back into a mental hole – the place she’d been sucked into earlier while driving. Being at her folks’ place – surrounded by people she loved – had done wonders for her state of mind. But the false hope that had come with that knock on the door had stripped her of every positive feeling she’d gained.

“Allie?”

The tone of Lilly’s voice told her she’d said her name more than once.

Allie gulped, glancing up at her mother. “Yes?”

“You remember Grayson Law, don’t you?”

Allie gave him another glance over. Tall, muscular. Definitely handsome. Was this who her mother had planned to set Bree up with? “Yes,” she managed, reaching to shake the hand he offered. “Hi Grayson.” He was a year or two younger, from what she remembered, but she knew his face – it was a hard one to forget.

“He wanted to pick your dad’s brain for a bit,” Lilly continued, “but I thought he may as well join us for dinner while he was at it. I saved a plate for you,” she added. “Stay put and I’ll go heat it up.”

Grayson turned his attention back to Allie and Jillian. “You know, I got to play football with Terrance a time or two during my freshman year,” he said.

Allie tried to force a grin but knew she was failing miserably.

“That’s cool,” Jillian said, coming to her rescue.

“Braden Fox was on the team too,” he added, “he taught me a whole lot – me being on the junior varsity that year and all. I understand you two are dating, right?”

Normally Allie might be irritated by the display of her mother’s rambling all-things-personal where she was concerned, but in this moment it was just what she needed. “Right,” she said, loving the way it felt to say it aloud. She was dating Braden Fox. It was still true enough.

Grayson shoved a hand in his pocket. “So is he here? It’d be nice to catch up.”

“I’m afraid not,” Allie said, “he wasn’t feeling well tonight.”

“And you just missed his younger sister, Bree,” Lilly said in an agitated tone. “She was here with her two kids. Do you remember Bree? Pretty brunette? Got divorced a few years back?”

There went Mom and all her subtly.

Grayson looked over his shoulder at Lilly. “I do,” he said with a chuckle. “’Fact I asked her to a dance back in school.”

“So you two have dated?” Lilly’s blue eyes went wide with hope.

“Not exactly. She uh, already had a date from what I remember.” He looked down at the floor and shrugged. “So, no. We never did go out.” Grayson’s face reddened in the quiet moment.

“Hmm. Well, they say timing is everything.” Lilly motioned to the kitchen. “Come on in and getcha some food. Logan’s in here and you can catch up with him while you eat. Earl will be in in just a bit.” After Grayson disappeared around the corner, Lilly snuck back to the front room, stretching her neck toward Allie and Jillian. “You think you can get Bree back here for some reason?” she hissed. “You’ve got her number, don’t you?”

Allie and Jillian broke into laughter. “I doubt it,” Allie said. “But I can try.”

Jillian hovered over Allie’s shoulder as she thumbed through her list of contacts. She had to admit it felt nice putting her focus someplace else. The idea of hooking Bree up with the hunk in the other room was definitely a tasty distraction. It was hard to believe Bree had ever turned him down in the first place.

“Hi, Bree?”

“No,” Bree said from the other end of the line. “Go brush your teeth and get into bed. I’m sure he’ll call in the morning.” A moment passed before she spoke up once more. “Sorry. What’s going on?’

“Are they asking about Braden?” Allie couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah. But he’ll call soon. He will. He always checks in on us. If not tonight I’m sure he’ll call by tomorrow.”

Allie let that simmer as she set her mind back to the reason for her call. “You’re probably way to busy for this right now, and possibly not even interested from what Braden said, but a very handsome man just walked through the door here. He’s single, he knows who you are, and my mom sort of planned to have you two meet tonight.” 

When no words came Jillian leaned over and added, “He was late because something came up.” She looked at Allie and shrugged.

“Oh. That was nice of your mother to think of me like that, but I’m not in a position to date anyone right now.”

“I think if you saw this guy you might reconsider,” Allie said.

“His name’s Grayson Law,” Jillian said. “Do you remember him?”

Silence.

“Bree?” Allie prodded.

“Yes.” It came out in a whisper. “He asked me out once.”

“That’s what he said,” Jillian blurted, excitement in her tone.

“Hmm.” More silence. “And he’s still single?” Bree asked.

Allie gave that some thought. “Or divorced. I don’t really know. I guess he’s a bodyguard of some sort now.”

“A cute one,” Jillian added. “You sure you don’t want to come back for a minute? You could say you forgot something.”

“And Jillian could take my car out there. Watch the kids while you leave.”

A sigh came from the receiver. “No, ladies. I don’t think so. It’s not a good time for me right now.”

Allie felt her shoulders droop.

Jillian’s face fell flat.

“He didn’t know Lilly was setting us up, did he?” Bree asked.

Allie perked back up. “Like before he came over?” She wondered why it mattered.

“Yeah. Does he know Lilly’s trying to set us up?”

“No. But when she mentioned you, he admitted that you turned him down once.”

A small giggle sounded from the other end of the line. “Well, I better get these kids to bed. Goodnight, girls. Tell Paige happy birthday for me tomorrow, will you?”

“Sure,” Allie said. “She has plans with her friends for the night, but already she’s saying she wants to cancel. This whole thing has hit her pretty hard, I’m afraid.”

“Hopefully getting Braden back in the picture will help a little. I know he’ll call soon.”

Allie caught eye contact with Jillian in that moment. “I hope so,” she said, returning her daughter’s hopeful grin.

The next few moments went by in a blur. Allie rounded up Paige, thanked her parents for the nice dinner, and said goodbye to Logan and Grayson. It was a good thing the night had been such an eventful one. She wasn’t sure she could have survived a quiet evening at home at a time like this. Yet as they pulled into the driveway, that feeling of dread – the one that had prodded at her in spurts throughout the night – sunk right back in through her skin. Began spreading throughout every limb. She said goodnight to the girls, prayed she could give Paige a good birthday tomorrow, and slipped under the sheets. There, she let Bree’s reassuring words offer a bit of hope. Braden would call tomorrow. Soon all would be set right. She had to believe that was true.