Rotten (21 page)

“Give me an inch and let me show you what I can do.” I meant loosening me a bit, yet his eyes took on a darkened look, finding another meaning.

Using one hand to hold both of mine still, he slid one arm behind my thigh to catch it just as he let up.

“An inch is what you want? How about seven more?”

David angled himself between my legs and pushed his groin hard into my center. The slight touch of something else besides my hands or clothing instantly made me flush. He saw how I was reacting as my breathing grew heavy and rotated his hips while chuckling low in his throat.

“Mmmhmm, that’s what I thought.”

I wrapped my thighs around his waist and locked my ankles behind his back, raising my hips up higher. His hands moved under my shirt and slipped one of my breasts out of the bra, allowing it to fall slightly to the side in his cupped palm, teasing the nipple with his thumb. Lifting the shirt to expose my bared chest, he took the peaked bud into his mouth and sucked gently. I couldn’t stop the small moans from driving out of my throat. My hands roamed frantically over his head and back as he licked and nipped at flesh, catching fire with each sweep of his tongue. Pulling off his own shirt, he then ripped off my shorts and threw them over his shoulder.

I did not shake as I did the first time long ago. I knew exactly what I was getting into and the hunger was slicing through me like glass. I felt like if I wasn’t impaled shortly, I would burst. His weight rested over my body, held by his forearms to keep from crushing me. Gently brushing my hair away from my cheeks, he leaned down and teased my mouth with his tongue.

David’s lips were soft and voluptuous; I dared to say they were beautiful. There was no part of him that was not absolute perfection, including his cock. He had not even touched me there, yet, taking his time working me into a frenzy. He knew how long I had waited, denied the most important of caresses. Forcing my hips up, he pulled away, knowing I wanted more, lifting up and laughing into my mouth. I both protested and begged through moans and whimpers. Gone was the cocky yet considerate boy who took my innocence; he had been replaced by a man with over a decade of experience and nowhere to be. I wanted to lick his skin, take him in, every part of him, but he wouldn’t move. He liked kissing me – for the first time, not out of an angry circumstance, but at his own pace, free to do as he wished.

I missed being kissed. The way my mind grew dizzy despite lying on my back. My body tingled beneath him, every pore full of life.

“Please,” I begged into his mouth.

He laughed once again into mine. “Say it again.”

“Please.”

His hand ran over my damp panties and lightly smacked my swollen mound. Grabbing behind one thigh and sliding the other arm beneath me, I was easily picked up and backed forcefully against the wall. Setting my feet down for a moment, his fingers slid along the edge of my panties and roughly pulled them to the ground. Stopping between my legs, he buried his face and inhaled deeply before kissing my center softly. Not bothering to do more, he lazily ran his tongue up my abdomen and over one of my breasts before returning to my mouth. Pressed against his shorts, I felt it unfair he was still wearing clothing while I was completely naked against the wall.

As he paused and stared into my eyes, I leaned out and pecked him against the lips. “I love you,” I said with shallow breaths.

In that moment, something in him changed. His face grew pained and he gently set me down. “I can’t do this, Toni, not yet.”

Still caging me against the wall, he groaned as I lightly kissed his chest.

“Why not? I want to.”

His eyes watered slightly as he looked down. I could tell his dick was hard as a rock, and he was just barely willing himself through it.

“I’ve already taken something that didn’t belong to me, and I have spent my whole life wanting to make up for it. I can’t take this from you, too.”

He moved swiftly away from me and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on roughly before picking up his keys and heading for the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned around and gave me the saddest face I had ever seen. “I love you too much, I’m sorry.”

With that, I was left alone in his house as I heard the GT speed out of the driveway and into the night.

I struggled to comprehend what just took place. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the numbness that cloaked my soul like a heavy shroud. Losing consciousness, I slipped into the recesses of my mind, colliding with a memory so vivid, I screamed out in pain. I knew it wasn’t real, yet my body was shivering uncontrollably under his weight. I wanted this more than anything, and here I was scared out of my mind.

All I could do was watch as his fingers traced along the curves of my body. They cupped my ample breast and held them in place while his mouth descended over my sensitive nipple and sucked gently. “You finally got those boobies I wanted to see,” he joked. The muscles in my face pulled taut with distress, but David’s eyes only looked at the body beneath him with love. I felt like a ghost, but ghosts aren’t supposed to feel lips on bodies that don’t exist.

Going to the other side, I gasped as his teeth gently clamped down and tugged back. I tangled my own fingers in his soft, dark, curly hair, causing it to stick up in every direction. My body was still glowing in the aftershocks of coming so hard. He had just tasted me. I remembered. He said it would hurt less. Knowing in just moments, the irreversible act of losing my virginity was about to take place, the feeling of knots tied in my stomach as I questioned if I was doing the right thing. I wanted to scream and run away, telling myself not to do this. If only I stopped this moment, the rest of my life might be different, yet I could not force my body to move. I was helpless to stop the cataclysm of events that was about to unfurl. He leaned away from me onto his knees and tugged his boxers down, causing me to choke.

“There is no way you are getting that in me, you are going to break my hips or jab a kidney,” I said.

My seventeen-year-old consciousness ran parallel to my current state of existence, both sets of thoughts weaving together in a jagged tapestry of cruelty. I eventually stopped fighting and allowed the memories to consume me. He started laughing, but I was completely serious. A growth spurt a few years before caused him to tower over me by almost a foot, but nothing had prepared me for this.

“How big is it? I know you have measured it.”

He held it in the palm of his hand, stroking back and forth with tenderness.

“Eight and a quarter.” He smiled proudly at the monster in his hand. I had never seen a man’s penis in person, so I had nothing to measure it against except my tampons, which only caused a little discomfort. This may very well kill me.

“You’re going to be fine, Toni. I promise I’ll take care of you.” He smiled as he dove down between my legs once more and gently licked the most sensitive spots. As he brought me back to the edge, I was panting hard when he came back up and began to kiss my lips. I could taste myself, slightly sweet and earthy, and not at all as unpleasant as I imagined.

“Do you like how I taste down there?” I couldn’t imagine that anyone would want their mouth on my privates, although I wouldn’t complain if it ever happened again.

“Sssshhhhh…I do.” His tongue dipped in the hollow of my throat and gently licked back up to my mouth. Gone was the awkward boy who forced me to kiss him through bribery. I knew he kissed the “lots of girls” he claimed he would. They never ceased to rub it in my face every chance they got. I pushed the anger at my classmates out of my head and focused on this moment.

His hands slid down my legs and wrapped them around his waist. Beneath him, I was so small, yet he covered me like a shelter protecting me from harm. He reached down between us and grabbed his swollen cock, gently rubbing the head against my wetness. As he poised at the entrance, he was resting on his elbows. With his other hand, his thumbs traced back and forth across my lips as he leaned down and softly placed feather-light kisses across my face while continuing to tease me. I felt myself start to contract and reach out for him, hungry and instinctively knowing what was about to happen. Baser human cravings ignited a firestorm of lust. “I am going to put my thumb in your mouth; I want you to pretend it’s something else and show me how you would suck on it.”

He smiled as I opened my mouth slowly and began to caress his thumb with my tongue, swirling around the top and length. I looked to him for approval; I needed him to think I was good, even though he knew I had no clue what the hell I was doing. As the salty flavor of his skin coated my tongue, I suddenly bit down hard as pain ripped through my body.

“Take it out, take it out!” I cried.

I tried to back away, but he held me in place.

“Breathe, Toni…breathe, baby, it’s over.”

He moved out of me slowly as I rolled to my side and curled into the fetal position. David rubbed comfortingly along my thigh, concern washing over his face.

“I had to distract you so you wouldn’t tense up. I know it hurt, but it would have been worse if you were expecting it.”

The pain started to dull and become more of a pulsing ache. I turned onto my back apprehensively. “It won’t hurt like that again? You promise?”

He shook his head. “No, baby, that was it; that was the worst part. It should start to feel good now.”

Already guiding my legs apart, he came over me once again and started to kiss me deeply. His tongue aggressively danced around mine, devouring every part of me. I felt the head once again begin to probe, this time more gently, and I tensed up. As he slowly started to enter me, I felt my inner walls stretch as I took every inch of him. It did not hurt as he promised, and was just a little uncomfortable. Within moments, deep moans were crawling out of my chest in response to his easy thrusts.

“I told you, baby, it would feel good. Do I feel good? Tell me.”

My heart was melting as he called me baby, feeling him inside of me; I never wanted this to end.

I couldn’t speak, I was so overwhelmed. I could no longer tell what was day or night, reality or just a dream. Every sense was keenly aware of him. The way he looked at me from above, so full of love and kindness. The small beads of sweat forming on his brow and upper lip that ran into my mouth when he would pause to kiss me. He started to move faster and lowered himself so that we were chest-to-chest, with the slick friction of his body against mine. I lifted my hips slightly to take him in deeper, which only made him groan louder.

He began to grunt heavily, and in between breaths, he whispered in my ear, “I love you, Toni.”

Repeatedly he said the words my soul longed to hear, and in this fragile moment of vulnerability, he gave me exactly what I needed. I did not see the stars or scream like they told me, but my heart burst open with happiness as his body rattled and emptied into mine. He took care not to hurt me as he collapsed, and I simply clung to his shoulders as he rested between my legs, panting hard, with both of us covered in a thin sheen of sweat. After taking a few moments to recover, he slowly started to back out of me, leaving an emptiness I had never known before.

Suddenly shy, I asked the only thing that came to mind. “Was I good, David?”

My voice was quiet and afraid. I didn’t want to be a disappointment to him. He did not answer right away, and I started to cry.

“I knew it, I knew I would suck. Please don’t tell anyone.” My hands shielded my face in embarrassment. I trembled against the pillows, unable to stop.

He sat next to me and pulled me into his lap, tucking me under his chin and holding tight. “Toni, you didn’t suck. You were perfect, you are perfect. Don’t cry.”

Him telling me to stop only made me cry even more. His arms still held tight and pulled me down across his chest, where we laid in silence for some time. My hand absentmindedly stroked his abdomen and the dark trail of hair leading downward. I grew brave and lightly grazed my fingers across the length of his shaft, feeling the velvet softness like nothing I had ever touched before.

I turned to look up at him, and he simply nodded his head, giving me the go ahead to keep exploring. Propping my body across his chest to get a closer look, I held the weight of his testicles in my hands, and gently prodded to feel what was inside. I couldn’t imagine what I was doing could be taken as sensual, yet his body began to react to my timid movements.

I didn’t ask permission. I brought his cock to my lips and ran my tongue gently across the top, hearing the sharp intake of breath it caused. His hips rose upwards towards my face, while his hand threaded through my hair, encouraging me to keep going. I started to recall what was written in
The Joy of Sex
book that one of my father’s many girlfriends gifted to him. Holding firmly with one hand, I stroked back and forth lightly as my mouth took as much of him in as I could without gagging. David’s eyes closed and his mouth parted. His body would slightly jerk occasionally in response, causing his grip on my hair to tighten briefly. I was not there long before he nudged me off. He rolled another condom on and stood up, holding his hand out to guide me up as well.