“Well, that’s good to know. I prefer to come across as relatively harmless; that way, they never see it coming.”
The man smiled into his glass as he took another drink. Pursing his lips, he set the glass down and turned towards me.
“So what is a beautiful woman like you doing swimming alone at this hour? In a city that never sleeps, surely you have much more entertaining things to do with your husband.”
The man had checked me out, too, making his assessments before deciding to embark on a conversation.
“My husband is not here, or else perhaps I would be out with him right now. Seeing that he isn’t, here I am.”
I rested my palms across the top of the water, not really expecting any type of dialogue as he gauged I was not interested. Exchanging pleasantries usually only occurred when people were lonely or being polite. This was a polite conversation. I saw the man’s eyes go up just before I caught a person diving into the water and swimming in our direction. We watched as the figure approached us in the dark waters. It was late, and they had turned off the lights in the pool with the exception of a few spotlights embedded in the wall.
Feeling hands on my legs pull me down, I screamed as I went under the water. Coming up seconds later, I was caged against the wall in David’s arms. His mouth came crashing over mine, frantic and angry. I knew what he was doing and could taste the liquor on his tongue. To keep the man from panicking, I wrapped my arms and legs around David and accepted whatever this was until we were in a private area where I could find out what the fuck he was thinking. He looked up, and the man had left, easing whatever tension he was carrying.
“Toni, you have to be careful. How many times do I have to tell you? People are crazy and you’re in a dark pool by yourself. What if you got hurt? What if it wasn’t me and it was some asshole who could have raped you? This is Vegas; you can’t trust anyone.”
I was touched by his sweetness and concern, but could tell he was more intoxicated than I had ever seen him before. Despite my legs wrapped around him and the passionate kiss, there were no indications of arousal.
“David, I was fine. You were the one who left me, remember? And that’s okay, too. I brought you here to have fun. You should be out banging some hot groupie right now and getting shit-faced with the band, not worried about me. I am a big girl. I can handle my own – you’ve seen it. That is why I brought you here, so you could have some of your life back. I know I have invaded it. You didn’t ask for this.”
He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, unable to hide how he felt. He tightened his grip on my thighs and pushed me back against the wall again. Resting his head against my neck, I could only hear him breathing for a while.
“But I want this,” he whispered.
I held tightly to his neck and twisted my legs around his calves for support in the warm water.
But I want this
, he said.
How could I respond to that? Hell yes, I wanted it, too, but I knew it was the liquor talking, or I was denying myself what I knew I felt. After all, I had become an expert at restraint. Even if I was available, once the excitement wore off, what then? I didn’t have enough to keep him interested. I wasn’t his type, never was. My chest tightened as the self-imposed rejection wrapped its way around any hope I tried clinging to, crushing it to smithereens.
“Hey, it’s getting late, let’s go to bed.” I broke away from him and pulled myself out of the pool, thankful the water pouring down my head masked the tears coming from my eyes.
He stopped me as I hastily wiped the water off of me. “Toni, look at me.”
I refused to.
“Dammit, Toni!” His sudden tone of anger shook me. Bringing my eyes slowly up to his, I didn’t want to hold his gaze. He could see through me, and any bullshit I tried to use to hide myself from him was useless. He knew me better than I knew myself. Pulling me against his chest, he rested his chin on the top of my head.
“I know, okay? It doesn’t mean I can’t want it.” His voice was low and full of sadness. Turning to kiss the top of his breastbone, I held my lips in place before resting my forehead. Without another word, he led me back to the room and poured a steaming bath. We would be back in hell soon enough. I would take bittersweet for a few more hours.
The ride back to Sloan was quiet. David looked a little worse for wear, yet smiled at me often. His VIP pass swung back and forth as it dangled from the rearview mirror. Knowing he felt bad that he didn’t realize he’d left me alone for so long, I kept trying to reassure him it was fine, and that I somewhat hoped he got to cut loose for a bit.
We napped until afternoon, visiting daddy before another night at the club. Melanie had settled right in, and the girls all got along. It was a relief, knowing I could focus on other things, and she kept it strictly business, avoiding David unless necessary. The crowd was roaring and packed. Smoke and the scent of stale beer wafted through out the building. All of the girls were working tonight, twenty-three of them. That might seem like a lot, but when seven are on poles at once, it gives some space on the floor. I floated through each station, making sure everyone was okay. I had installed a drop vault for bills so the cash register did not get too full and to help prevent theft. I wanted to trust everyone, but it only went so far. David was able to focus on talking to the patrons and actually do his job.
Looking over towards the entrance, I could make out that something was happening. David brushed past me angrily before turning around and shouting in my ear. “Looks like someone decided to finally give a shit.”
He then continued to walk into the office and slammed the door. Turning back around, I saw Andrew about twenty feet away with a horrified expression on his face. Rushing over, I wasn’t sure how to react, so I acted happy.
“Hey! I didn’t know you were coming to town! Do you want a tour?”
Disgust washed over him as he grimaced from the scenery. Eying me from head to toe, he was not happy with what was happening.
“What are you wearing? You look like one of these prostitutes. I didn’t realize that when you said you were helping at the club, it meant earning a little extra money on the side.”
Standing aghast, my hand made contact with his cheek for the first time in our relationship. He hadn’t given me any notice he was coming, not that it should matter, but knowing full well before he married me that this was what my daddy did for a living and how I felt about it should have caused those words to never leave his mouth. The fact he referred to the girls as prostitutes made me even more volatile. He rubbed the side of his face that was growing red even under the dark lights before turning and heading out the door. Looking at the bar, the ladies had all stopped serving drinks and watched me to make sure I was okay. Running after Andrew, I finally got him to stop as his hand touched the door of his rental.
“You came here to see me. What the fuck is wrong with you? I hear basically nothing from you for over a month and the first words to come out of your mouth are telling me I look like a hooker?”
His jaw clenched tight as he seemed to be formulating the words to say.
“You know, I saw Erin and she was acting real weird. Her voice got really high-pitched and she said you were doing okay out here, considering everything. She was right; doesn’t appear you’re grieving too hard. In fact, looks like you are having yourself a good ol’ time while I am back in Indy, wondering what the hell my wife is doing.”
My hands balled into fists as I grew infuriated. Who was this man? He was just as unrecognizable to me as I was to him. How dare he come here and immediately tear me down before giving me a chance to explain. As I started to stomp closer in his direction, I heard David running out and yelling my name. His hand held my shoulder gently as he looked between me and Andrew.
“You okay, Toni?” He was in defense mode, and I saw this getting ugly real fast.
“Yeah, I’m fine. This is Andrew. We’re just working some things out, okay?”
He didn’t seem too confident and gently squeezed my shoulder.
“Hey buddy, how about getting your hands off of my wife?” Andrew was spitting venom and had no clue who it was aimed at.
“You’re right, it should be your hands on her, but we both know that’s not happening.” David wasn’t backing down in the slightest.
Oh Fuck!
“Excuse me?” Andrew asked, looking at me angrily, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
“Stop it, both of you! I’m leaving!” I grabbed the handle of the rental open and strapped myself in roughly. The two men stared each other down in fury.
“Get in, Andrew, now!” I braced my arms against the dashboard and counted breaths as I felt the tension reach the snapping point. Turning to look at David, my eyes grew bright red and pooled over with tears. I could see him fight the urge to yank me out of the car. The very thing that separated us was now in his face, and he could do nothing that wouldn’t make it worse. The veins in his neck throbbed in the fluorescent glow of the street lamp. He refused to move until we had driven off, and even then, in the side mirror I could see him standing still.
“You told him about us? Why would you do that?” Andrew was boiling over my confession.
“Because he’s my friend, and sometimes you have to talk to friends about things that bother you.”
“I’ve never heard you mention him as a friend. Who was that?”
“His name is David, we grew up together, and he’s been helping my daddy since he’s been sick. I am making sure everything at the club is running smoothly to help pay my daddy’s medical bills until he wakes up or...”
I didn’t want to even think about the other possibility. The nurses told me that he was going into renal failure, and because it was caused by drinking, he was unable to be placed on the transplant list. The dialysis was helping to filter his blood and take the pressure off his kidneys and other organs, but years of hitting the bottle had already caused irreversible damage.
“Or what, Annie? Spit it out.”
My heart sunk. He knew what I meant. I wouldn’t say it, even if I knew it to be true. I was going to lose my daddy soon, and every day I prayed God would wake him up and give me a little bit of time to make it right. I just looked out the window and wiped at my eyes as the salty tears rolled down my cheeks.
They grew wide in horror as we pulled into the valet of the Bellagio. “Is this where you are staying at?” The attendants were approaching to take the car and fear gripped my heart. I was just here less than twelve hours earlier. Surely someone was bound to recognize me, even though I wasn’t properly dressed to step foot on the property.
“You said you always wanted to stay here, so I thought it would be a nice surprise for us with my visit. Is there a problem?”
I shook my head and took a deep breath as the door opened.
“Good evening again, Mrs. Stark, it’s good to see you. Will David be joining us this evening as well?” The man smiled brightly as the colored left my face.
“No, David will not be joining us this evening, and my name is Mrs. Adams. Mr. Stark and I were simply having dinner last night, but thank you for asking.”
He tipped his head and apologized before heading off to the next car. I didn’t want to see nor hear what Andrew’s reaction was going to be.
“You were here with him last night?”
Andrew looked at the hotel, wounded, and stormed through the front doors without me. I chased him down, but not before a few others greeted me as Mrs. Stark. If anyone else read the papers, they should have known that he wasn’t married, yet they all made the assumption. I thought at some point that it was dangerous and poor service, but I knew they were just acting in the familiarity into which they were trained.
“Andrew, stop! Wait!”
He didn’t hold the elevator as he stepped in, but thankfully another man saw me running and did. Andrew wouldn’t look at me as I struggled to catch my breath. Stopping at the twentieth floor, he exited without another word. Holding the key card in his hands, he paused. Was he really not going to let me in? Hesitatingly, he held the handle and waited before swiping the card.