Romance Me (Boxed Set) (54 page)

“Hey, that can be a good thing,” Max joked, but his attempt at humor was obviously strained.

“I'm a lousy lover,” she clarified.

Again, that moment of silence.

“Says who?” Max growled.

She studied her fingernails, frowning at how ragged they looked. She'd been chewing on them again. “Lots of people.”

“Lots?”

“Okay, not lots. Three. But they would know.”

“Three? Hell, Melina, that's not enough to conclude anything. And who said it last? That bastard you broke up with six months ago? For a woman who studies bugs for a living, you sure have a problem recognizing the less evolved of the male species. That guy probably couldn't find a woman's G-spot if I drew him a map.”

Melina sighed. Wasn't that the truth? But she had to stay focused. She had it on good authority that Brian's inability to find her G-spot was because she hadn't inspired the search. His new girlfriend had taken great delight in pointing that fact out to her.

“Well, not all men are fortunate to be famous entertainers whose female fans want them to sign their underwear.”

She heard Max rise and walk closer to her. “Yeah, it's a tough gig, but someone's gotta do it. And it's their naked bodies they want us to sign, not their underwear. I, of course, am always happy to oblige.”

Sniffing, she raised her hand. “Of course. Forgive me.”

His arms encircled her from behind. Resting his chin on her head, he just held her. As always, she felt protected in his arms. Sheltered. But there was no zing of desire. None of the heat or shivers that overtook her when Rhys was near. On the plus side, there was no feeling like a moron and running away, either.

Not that it would have made a difference if Max did make her hot. Both Max and Rhys were way out of her league, and neither had ever shown the slightest bit of interest in her anyway. Sure, Max had always flirted and teased. Told her to come see him when she wanted a real man. But she knew, as with everything else with him, it had all been a game.

Unfortunately for him, she was calling his bluff.

“If there were, uh, issues—” He cleared his throat. “They were his fault, Melina, not yours.”

She snorted and pulled away. “I wish that were true, but he's not the only boyfriend to tell me I don't know what I'm doing. And according to his new girlfriend, he's the bomb.”

He winced. “Please. Don't try to talk modern. It just doesn't work.”

“See what I mean?” she pouted. “I can't even talk sexy.”

“You don't need to talk sexy. Behind those god-awful glasses,” he tapped the top of her wire-rimmed glasses for emphasis “lab coats, and lumpy suits you wear, you are sexy. You just don't go around advertising it.”

“Right.”

“Melina,” he said warningly.

“I'm not putting myself down. I'm not beautiful and don't have the best body in the world, I'm attractive, I dress well—”

His snort was getting rather annoying now.

“—and I'm smart. That counts for something, right?”

“Melina—”

“I'm kind. Loyal. I think I'd make a good mother.”

Max's eyes bugged out. “Uh, Melina—”

She put her hands on her hips. “Oh, hush. I'm not asking you to father my child. And you don't have to look so relieved, either. But we both know I'm not a femme fatale. I don't want to be. I just want to get married. Have a family.” A big one. She wanted lots of children, not an only child who would grow up lonely and longing for the type of sibling relationship that Max had with Rhys. “I don't want to wither up and die surrounded by a bunch of bugs.” She dropped gracelessly onto her coach and leaned her head back against the cushion.

His expression grew suspicious. “Is this about your biological clock? Honey, you're still young. There's plenty of time for you to start a family.”

When she didn't answer, he dropped down next to her and took her hands. “I thought you liked your bugs,” Max said quietly. “Are you that unhappy? Why didn't you tell me?”

She shook her head. “I love my job, but I…but I want to be—” Her voice hitched. “I want to be loved. I want someone to love me.”

“Your parents love you. Rhys and I, we love you, Melina.”

“My parents and you, maybe. Rhys, I'm not so sure of anymore. And anyway, it's not enough. I want a partner.”

“But you're talking sex. Mechanics. Not love.”

“One leads to the other,” she insisted. “With guys, sex comes first, then emotion, right?”

He looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. “Well, I guess. To some—”

“To you, right?”

“But I'm not the one you want to make fall in love with you.” He said it hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure what her answer would be.

“No. But you'd certainly be demanding. In bed, I mean.”

He raked a hand though his golden hair. “Jesus, Melina—”

“I'm just saying…” she soothed.

“What's causing all this? You got your eye on someone specific?”

Her fingers plucked at the corded edge of one of the sofa cushions. Despite Lucy's fervent belief that she'd be settling with Jamie, there was something about the man that called to her. A sort of offbeat humor. A serious stare that pierced you and made you wonder what he was thinking. And whether he was thinking about you. The way Rhys's stare did. But unlike Rhys, he'd expressed interest in her. Asked her out for drinks after the conference next weekend. And she wasn't going to mess up her opportunity with him.

Not this time. “Sort of.”

“‘Sort of’ is a wimpy answer.”

She pounded the sofa cushion with her fist. “Okay, I do.”

“Let me guess. He's an academic?”

“Well, of course. The sex thing is necessary in the beginning—”

“And in the middle and end,” Max said drolly.

“—but after that, we need commonality to build on. I mean, he's not just smart. He's sexy, too. And he's interested in me. There's a conference next week that we're going to be presenting at—”

Max eyes widened in that expression of disbelief again. “You're presenting at a conference? Since when? The last time you tried speaking at a public event, you almost passed out.”

“Thank you for that reminder,” she gritted out, but without much heat. He was right. She didn't do well in the spotlight. At the workshop Max was talking about, she'd stepped up to the podium only to become paralyzed with terror. She'd morphed from confident scientist into Cindy Brady, staring at a blinking red camera light despite the audience surrounding her. It wasn't an experience she'd ever sought to repeat again. That's why she'd chosen research in the safety and anonymity of her lab. That's what she was used to. That's what she was comfortable with. But with Jamie, things were different. He'd urged her to come out of her shell, and, surprisingly, she'd agreed, confident that he would step up if it was too much for her. That alone must mean something, shouldn't it? “Anyway, Jamie shouldn't be as hard to please as…say, you or Rhys would be. If you could just do me this favor…” Horror overcame her. “I mean, you kissed me once. I know it didn't mean anything but…well, the idea…it doesn't, well, gross you out, does it?”

“What? Of course not.” But he was looking panicked now. His hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “It's just, I don't want you thinking there's anything wrong with you. You're just, you're just—”

“An amateur?” she suggested.

“Well, I was going to say selective, but given the men you've chosen, you obviously haven't been picking from the cream of the crop.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Please. I've met the guys.”

“They were all smart. Influential. Okay, so they're not tall and handsome and fly to London to perform for the queen, but—”

“They were pansies. And it sounds like this guy you want to bang is a pansy, too.”

“He is not a pansy. And the others were just uninspired.”

“Melina—”

She shook her head. “Tell me the truth. You go for experienced women. Women who know how to please you in bed.”

“Well, sure, but—”

“In the insect world, bugs mate for one reason and one reason only, because they get something out of it. I want a mate, Max. I want to know how to keep one. So, if it doesn't disgust you to be with me, can you please do me this favor?”

He seemed to think about it. “Why me? Why not Rhys?”

Because I'm not safe with Rhys, she thought.
Not the way I am with you.
With Rhys, assuming that he would even agree to it, it wouldn't be about simple biology, learning positions and technique, or walking away when the session was over. With Rhys, she'd lose herself. She'd start believing in unicorns and flying dragons and mutual passion leading to lifelong happiness. She'd want more than she could have. “Why Rhys and not you?” she hedged.

“Come on, Melina. We both know that of the two of us, I'm the bastard. I'm the…the—”

“Man whore?”

He cleared his throat. “Again, I was going to say least discriminating.”

“Be that as it may, you've never left me hanging just so you could get laid.” She held up her hand. “I know you're always trying to make excuses for Rhys's behavior that night, but it was lame. And you were there for me, just like you've always been. If that's not enough reason, the fact that you have the most experience is another point in your favor, right?”

He looked at her oddly. “Quantity doesn't necessarily equate to quality. Believe me, Rhys knows what he's doing.”

The image of Rhys doing anything to her made her nerves tingle in interesting places and had her thighs clenching together. “Look, are you going to do it?”
Do me,
she amended internally. “Or not?”

“I'll ask again. Why me?”

“Because I trust you.”

“And?”

“Because you'll be nice. During. And afterward. At least, I thought you would. Now I'm not so sure,” she said pointedly.

“Sex with me isn't nice, Melina. Sex done right isn't nice at all.”

She swallowed hard. It had suddenly gotten hot in here. “So show me.”

“What if I say no?”

“Then I'll find someone else.”

“Rhys?”

“Argh! What is your obsession with your brother? Is this some kind of weird kinky twin thing? Do you want me to say his name when we're doing it?”

“No,” he said, obviously struggling for patience. “I want you to tell me who you'll go to if I say no.”

She shrugged.

“What's that mean? You'd just do it with some stranger?”

“Haven't you?”

Fascinated, she watched him turn red. “We're not talking about me. And you're talking about this as if it's one of your damn experiments. You can't just decide you want to be a sex diva and ask me to teach you how, Melina.”

“Actually, we are talking about you. And that's exactly what I'm asking for.”

Chapter Three

Dalton's Magic Rule # 4: Practice with the right tools.

Overnight bag with toiletries. Check.

Sexy underwear. Check.

Contraception. Check.

Hotel room.

Duh.

Melina stared at the three brass numbers affixed to Max's hotel room door. They hadn't changed in the five minutes she'd been standing there looking at them. She had the right room. She had everything she needed. Let the sex education begin.

Right?

Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and tried to talk herself into sticking the key card into the little slot. Inserting part A into part B had never been her problem. It's what happened afterward that she clearly lacked skill in.

Still, she hesitated.

Something about this felt wrong.

Could she really get naked with Max? Touch him? Let him touch her?

The image of him looming over her in bed, surrounding her with warm skin and hard muscles, certainly wasn't unappealing, but it wasn't exactly pulling her tractor either.

Maybe there really was something wrong with her.

“Face it, Melina,” Brian had said to her after she'd found him in bed with one of his veterinary residents. “A man needs more than a stiff board underneath him when he wants to screw. Doesn’t matter how well-cushioned it is. You show more passion for the bugs in your lab than you do me. Take my advice. Get some practice in before you try to nab a guy again.”

She hadn't broken down at the accusation. In fact, she'd handled herself like the lady she was, even letting him take the dog they'd adopted from the pound a year before. Then she'd called Lucy and Grace, and the three of them had thrown darts at Brian's pictures while drinking sangria. Still, the knowledge that what she and Brian had been doing was “screwing” when she'd thought they'd been making love had haunted her for days.

And the worst part was, he'd been right. In previous relationships, she'd tried to be an active lover, only to score low when it came to evaluations. With Brian, she'd been content to let him take the lead, thinking that's what he wanted. Apparently, screwing was more complicated than she'd thought, and like it or not, she was going to get the practice that Brian had so cruelly suggested.