Authors: Kristen Chase
“Are you sure you are okay Sam?”
She looked really worried and it’s here that I realised Nikki was already very different from Beth. Nikki actually noticed when I was upset and I could see in her eyes that she cared and wanted me to confide. Of course, I didn’t though.
“Sorry Nikki, just a bit distracted. Let’s look at the menu shall we?”
She hesitantly looked away and I tried to relax and close my mind off from my stupid personal issues. I didn’t need to pick up the menu as I basically knew it off by heart but I watched Nikki look over it with a confused look on her face.
“Need some help, Nikki?”
She looked up at me and I could tell she didn’t want me to realise she couldn’t understand the descriptions very well.
“It is very fancy and so many options. I just am not quite sure which one to choose.”
“Well, I’ve tried almost everything on the menu. Would you like me to order for us?”
“Ah okay. Sure, why not. Thanks.”
I ordered the best from the menu that I could be almost sure most people would enjoy, and thankfully Nikki seemed to be impressed with my choices…once I told her the simple explanation of what they were.
“So Nikki, your dad tells me you want to go to college and study one day?”
“Yes that is the plan, but if I have learnt one thing so far, it is that you never know where life will take you.”
She smiled, and I didn’t just see a smile, I saw a woman who was intellectual beyond her years and had probably even experienced more than me—a man who had not even ventured outside of the country.
“Very wise Nikki. What would you like to study?”
She looked down at her hands and I could sense her nervousness as she fidgeted with the utensils on the table.
“I was thinking I would like to get involved in social work or something along those lines. I haven’t pinpointed what it is exactly. I just want to help.”
I was surprised by this answer, pleasantly surprised though.
“Wow, that is amazing Nikki. What makes you want to follow that path?”
She looked at me startled with my question and then I realised that I actually knew the answer, and this is what she had assumed. I had already asked now though so I waited for her answer.
“I want to help young children and teens, and try to prevent them from having to go through what I did when I was younger. I want them to realise they can choose a different path and they have the potential to be more than they feel they are in that moment.”
I looked at Nikki intently and I could see how affected she still was by her childhood. I wasn’t one to get emotional or into deep conversation but I felt really attached to Nikki all of a sudden. I almost felt like I wanted to show her just how beautiful she was, and make her really believe it. I could see she was trying to hold a new found confidence but I could also see how insecure she still was despite how far she had come.
“You are an amazing young woman, you know that Nikki?”
She blushed with embarrassment and hesitated before responding.
“Thanks, Sam.”
She looked down at her hands again and nervously picked at her fingernails. There was something about this girl that really pulled me towards her but I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what it was.
Nikki
We got back to work after a very long and interesting lunch and I had now been sitting at my desk staring at the computer screen for the last three hours when I realised the time had hit 5:30 and Dad would be waiting for me outside. I hadn’t seen Sam since we got back from lunch so I knocked softly on his office door. I didn’t hear a response so I slowly pushed the door open and slid in to find Sam bent over his filing cabinets looking for something. I secretly hoped he would never find whatever it was he was searching for, because the way his pants tightened around all the right places was incredibly arousing. His perfect rounded bum and large thighs were the epitome of a guy that took good care of his body and the thought of seeing underneath his clothes involuntarily slipped into my mind. I shook my head, trying to get rid of my inappropriate thoughts. I had now been standing staring at my step-brother (and Boss’) arse for the last minute and he still hadn’t looked up from the drawers. I wondered how long I could get away with it for but then realised it would be much more embarrassing for Sam to find me in his office all of a sudden, without speaking, than it would be for me to start the conversation as if I had just walked into the room. Yes, option B was a much better idea.
“Sorry Sam, ah…” He looked up at me frazzled. His face was red and I could see the shine on his forehead from his perspiration. His shirt was a little crumpled too and for a split second I thought this was what he might look like after a naughty make-out session.
“Nikki, I didn’t hear you come in. What can I help you with?”
I walked up closer towards his desk, and therefore closer to Sam.
“Sorry to come in without your permission Sam, I just wanted to ask what time…”
“Oh don’t be silly Nikki, you can come in any time you need.” He interrupted and I could tell he wasn’t just saying that, he meant it.
“Come over here Nikki, I think you can help me with something.”
I walked closer and he ushered me towards the cabinet he had just been searching through.
“Now, I’m just going to read out some documents names on my computer and if you could find those files in there and grab them out for me, it might just make this all a lot quicker.” He said pointing to the drawers I was standing at.
“Well, I am an expert filer now.” I said sarcastically but in good humour.
Sam laughed.
“You better be after this many hours Nikki.” He joked and we both laughed.
By the fifth name in, I came to a bump in my filing expertise.
“Sam, I can’t seem to find the McNeil file.”
He looked at me quizzically and then stood up and came over. His body stood over me, and I tried to move out of the way, but I was now stuck in a love triangle with Sam and the wall, so I just had to stay put. He had rolled his shirt sleeves up and I could see the tanned skin on his forearms with freckles leading up and under his clothes. I could also see dark hairs upon his chest just poking over the neckline of his shirt as he had also taken his tie off and now revealed the naked skin beneath. I tried to calm my breathing as he searched through the files that my hands had just touched.
“Hmmm, I think you may be right Nikki.” He said standing up straight and looking at me. “I can’t seem to find it either, maybe it’s up there.” And he pointed to boxes on a shelf above us that we both could not reach.
He came back with a small step ladder and I started up it straight away but only two steps up and Sam stopped me.
“Woah Nikki, come back here. I can go up. We don’t want you getting hurt.”
“It’s not even that high Sam, I’m not a child.” By the look on his face, I could tell I accidently had said this a bit too forcefully.
“Sorry Sam, I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt. Just trying to get used to dad treating me like I’m still his fragile little girl I guess. Sorry.”
“Oh, I see…” I had caught him off guard and he was lost for something to say.
“I don’t treat you like that do I, Nikki?”
“No, not at all Sam,” I lied, “it’s only been two days though so I’ll keep you updated.” I laughed and he grinned in response.
“Okay Miss adult, the ladder is all yours.”
I started to climb the ladder again and Sam’s hands gently found their way onto my hips to steady me (which I really didn’t need, but I definitely wasn’t complaining). His hands were so warm and they sent a shiver up my body. I reached the top of the ladder and stopped to look at the boxes in front of me. I propped my hands on my hips, forgetting Sam’s hands were there, and I quickly removed them in shock.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t…sorry.” I stumbled upon my words and Sam let out a small chuckle without responding to my embarrassment.
“Let’s try that box to the left Nikki.”
I slowly edged the box towards me and I soon realised it was heavier than I had thought it would be. There was no way I was going to ask for help now though. I slid the box into my arms holding it close to my chest and started to descend. Of course, I slipped on my first step down and the box fell hitting Sam right on the head and he crashed to the ground while papers flew around him.
“Sam, oh my goodness. I am so sorry. Are you okay?”
I was on knees at his side as he propped himself up onto his elbows. He looked at me seriously and anxiety started to spread through me.
“Nikki, I’m going to have to let you go.”
I was shocked. “Oh, okay, I underst…”
His lips started to curl into a grin and he burst out laughing.
“I’m joking Nikki.”
I relaxed immediately but did not join him laughing, I was still in shock from the whole incident.
“Nikki, I’m joking. I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay.”
He looked so young and cute lying back like he was now and I felt the urge to grab his face and kiss him. I bit my bottom lip and looked away from him. I felt his hand reach up to me and pull my lip out from the grip of my teeth. I turned back towards him, touching his hand as it left my mouth, and we stared at each other. His jaw was clenched and his lips were slightly parted. I knew that he was thinking exactly what I was.
“Sorry, Sorry.” He snapped out of it and started to stand. “I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry.”
I stood up next to him, but allowing some room between us, and he looked at his watch.
“Shit, your dad will be waiting for you Nikki, you better go.”
He circled back behind his desk and looked at his computer.
“Thanks for your work today.” He dismissed me.
I sighed.
“Thanks, Sam.”
I headed towards the door and left without another word passing between us.
What was I doing? I knew that I could trust myself now and I had grown up, but did it have to be Sam that I had to swoon over. I hadn’t felt this way about someone before. Well, I guess I did when I was in high school but I can’t remember those days all too well anymore, well at least not enough to compare my feelings from then to now. This was the first time in six years though that I had felt like I wanted someone’s touch on me, around me, and in me.
Sam
My twenty-year old step sister? Really Sam, get yourself together. It had been three days since the incident in my office, and Nikki and I had kept things very professional. I welcomed the weekend upon us with open arms, hoping to find a fresh mind. Every time I had walked outside of my office, in the last few days, and saw Nikki’s delicate beauty, my heart jumped a few beats and I couldn’t relax the churning in my stomach. Even when speaking to her on the phone, which I tried desperately to minimise, her voice seemed to enter my ears and swim around my mind for hours after I hung up.
And now, the first day without seeing her and I felt an emptiness that filled me up more than I had felt on any of my business trips away from Beth. I hadn’t seen Beth for seven days now and the longing to see her, which should have been there, was swapped for relief that I could come home and relax without her. It made me feel guilty and I thought maybe my confusion towards Nikki was a warning or a nudge trying to let me know that I had to make a real decision about Beth.
No, I knew these feelings though, it was no warning, unfortunately it was all too real, and I’ve never been one to be able
to stay away from something I wanted. This time was different though, Nikki was my stepsister, and not just that, but Frank was my dad in every possible way, and together I couldn’t get messed up in Nikki’s life which she had worked so hard to turn around. This was just one girl I had to stay away from.
I sat on the couch in my condo flipping my mobile phone over in my hand. Nikki’s name was illuminated on my phone and I was wrestling with the idea of just calling her quickly. I knew, however, that I wasn’t going to do this. I just had to let the thought pass on its own. And then my phone buzzed and a message came up. It was Nikki. I closed my eyes and lay my head on the back of the couch taking in a big breath. I had to ready myself for this. I looked back down at my phone now sitting in my hand and I slowly pressed my thumb down on the button to open the message.
‘HI SAM, I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGISE FOR THE INCIDENT ON TUESDAY. NIKKI.’
That was all. Disappointment lay itself on me and I sent back straight away without thinking.
‘I ACTUALLY NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOME MORE WORK. ARE YOU FREE IN AN HOUR OR SO TO COME OVER? IT WON’T TAKE LONG. SAM.’
Shit. What was I doing? And what work? Find some work Sam. No, I’ll just message back and cancel. My body relaxed. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. No, that will make things worse Sam. You’ll just make things more awkward come Monday. Just find some work and stay strong. There’s no turning back now.