Role Play (7 page)

I
stared at him for a moment, trying to wrap my mind around that. “This, I have to see.” I pulled out my phone.

“It’s a protected site. You have to make a profile to get on.” He wrote down the name of the website. “Her screen name is
Lollycat.”

I
took the piece of paper between two fingers.

Dick leaned closer, and
I could smell the beer on his breath. “You can get hold of her laptop while she’s sleeping. I’ve got a URL you go to and click download, and it will record what she’s doing online—“

“I’m not going to do that!”
I exclaimed. “You’re crazy!”

“
You better do something.” He reached into the back seat and grabbed a plastic bag. Throwing it into my lap, it took me a moment to realize it was the red curly wig he had loaned me. I had left it on the car seat when he dropped me off last weekend. “You check out that website. You’ll see! If you don’t keep an eye on her, then I will.”

I
got out of the car. I didn’t like the way he was yelling at me, almost threatening me, like he had a right to treat me this way. But I took the bag with the wig in it.

I
headed to my apartment, determined to have it out with Lola once and for all.

...

Lola was stretching on the living room floor when I came in. My sister had always been flexible and fancied herself a good dancer, but you needed lessons to be able to really dance. Not just copying what you saw on YouTube videos. Right now Lola was lying almost prone between her widely outstretched legs, with her long hair bundled up behind her head.

I could hear the
deafening rap through the ear buds Lola was wearing. My sister gave me a wave, but didn’t stop her rhythmic stretching.

I went into the bedroom to change into comfy night clothes, trying to figure out how I could make my sister talk to me. I went through my usual getting-home rituals, putting my clothes in the hamper, and washing my face and hands.

Walking back into the living room, I waved to get Lola’s attention. “Hey, Lola!”

Lola only removed one ear
bud. “What?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Martin.”

“What about him?”

I flopped down on the couch, trying to send out a relaxed vibe. “How’s it going with him? You’ve been gone all week, and I wasn’t sure if you were seeing him or doing something else.”

“Both.” Lola kept on stretching.

“Come on,
Lolly!” The nickname came out without thinking, but it reminded me of the profile name that Dick said she had made. “Tell me what’s going on. I’m so curious.”

“Yeah, I know you’re curious! Or you wouldn’t have
spied on me.”

Irritation flashed through me. I had done it to try to understand
her. But I couldn’t tell Lola that or she would get even madder. “Well, I’d rather have you tell me. I just want to make sure you’re okay. What if something happens that you don’t like?”

“I have a
safeword. That’s what I say to stop whatever’s going on if it’s not working for me. But I’ve never had to use it. I got to trust Martin before I let him touch me.”

“How did you get to know him?”

Suspiciously, Lola eyed me. “At the mall. He worked there for a while. We kept running into each other in the food court.”

“And that made him trustworthy?”

“Sierra, I met him months ago. We were friends long before anything happened. He’s a performer. He travels all over the world doing shows.”

“What kind of shows?”

“Performance art.”

I suddenly saw Lola’s stretching as more than an idle exercise.
“Like dancing?”

“Kind of.
I want to be a part of his work. I’m sort of on a trial basis right now.”

“You mean you aren’t having sex with him?”

Lola shot me a look. “It’s none of your business, but I am.”

My mouth opened. “How is it none of my business? I’m your sister.”

“My private life is mine. Why do you keep acting like you own me? Like you can tell me how to live?”

“Lola! I’m just trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. And I don’t need you telling me I should be doing
this
and I should be doing
that
.  Go deal with your own shit and let me deal with mine.”

“My shit is doing just fine. I’m getting my degree at the end of summer. And you could have, too, if you had taken classes—“

“Give it a rest, Sierra. For years you’ve ragged on me to go to school. I’m done with school. I’m never going back. I keep telling you that, but you won’t listen to me.”

I continued as if I hadn’t heard my sister’s protest. “My only problem is
you
, Lola. I’m afraid you’re spinning out of control, again. Breaking up with Dick, who you love!”

“
What’s love?” Lola asked darkly. “He smothered me, like you smother me.”

“I’m just trying to—“

“Help,” Lola finished. “Which brings us back to that again. I don’t need your help. It’s none of your business.”

“I’m family, Lola. We live together. If you spin out of control again, you’ll take me down with you. I’m living pay check to pay check here. And I know you relied on Dick for rent money. What are you going to do?”

Lola shrugged one shoulder, looking away. “I’ve gotten a couple of modeling gigs. I’m hoping this work with Martin will get to be a paying gig, too.”

“Modeling.”
All of my doubts filled my voice. Lola may be pretty, but neither of us were fashion models.

“Bondage modeling.”
Lola lifted her chin. “And before you say anything, it’s just pictures. And it’s only topless. It’s not like it’s porn.”

I stared at her, unable to form the words that were swirling around my brain. The first thing that came out was, “Are you kidding me
?!”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Sierra.” Lola got to her feet. “This is why I didn’t tell you.
Let me live my own life. Or I’ll have to find another place to live!”

Lola stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. I was used to that. Lola let everyone know when she was mad.

But the last time Lola told me to butt out of her life, she had been doing a lot of drugs with her ex-boyfriend. Lola was once again following some random guy to her doom. Just like our mother.

Even worse,
Lola had never threatened to move out before. It was our unwritten rule, going back further than I could remember, that we stuck by each other. Through everything. No matter what else happened, we had each other’s back. How could Lola forget that?

What would I do without Lola? The practical side was a nightmare. I couldn’t afford to live in the city alone. Not on my pay.

I was breathing faster, trying to figure out why Lola was suddenly threatening to move out.

It must be that guy, Martin. He had lured her away from Dick, and he was luring my sister into
flashing her breasts and going to a fetish club. Maybe he was trying to get Lola to move in with him, so she would be dependent on him. Instead of me.

I must have sat there a full five minutes, running possibilities over in my mind. Then I reached for my laptop and punched in the website Dick had given me. I had to make my own profile to get in, so I signed up as Francisco29 to throw everyone off, and clicked at random on the buttons asking whether I was gay or straight.

As soon as I was in, with a question mark for a profile avatar, I searched for Lollycat.

I quickly found the profile and knew it was Lola because she had posted several dozen photographs of herself in her gallery. I clicked through quickly. Some were topless, all right. Lola was tied into unusual shapes, and was suspended by ropes. In several, she was held up by
a thick webbing. A couple of them were stunning. I couldn’t believe that was Lola, her profile so serene as she arched in a perfect circle, dangling from a crossbeam in an abandoned building.

Where on earth… did
that
happen?

She must have been doing this while I was sitting here worrying about her.

It was both better and worse than I feared. It wasn’t quite porn, but it was a lot slicker and more professional than I expected. The names under the images were of different photographers, and I followed the links back to their profiles. There I found hundreds of photos, not just a dozen. My mind was boggled at the wide-ranging imagination of the photographers, and of the models tied up into beautiful contorted shapes. A few were graphic, but mostly they were otherworldly and haunting.

I took a deep sigh. Drugs, I could sort of understand. Lola was always so angry that it probably felt good for her to let go. But this stuff made no sense. Why would Lola want to expose herself like this?

Going back to Lollycat, I saw that there were events listed down one side that Lola had checked as “maybe going.” In the text of her profile, she called herself a “new bondage model,” and said that photographers could contact her about setting up a shoot with her. Under relationships, there were several names under “In a rope family with…” and Martin was the first one listed.

I poured over the profiles of the three
names who were linked to Lola’s profile. Their profiles had additional relationship links to other people. I could hardly get through it all, there were so many photos and comments posted, especially by the woman, JuneTime. She was the blond woman who I saw with Lola at the Chamber.

Under Martin’s profile, there were hundreds of shadowy shots of swirling fire and bursts of sparklers partly obscuring the performers. None of them were of the
high quality of the fetish photographers that Lola had posed for. They looked like snapshots taken at events, interspersed with startlingly ordinary photos of him hanging out with friends at parties or sitting on the back of a van between the open double doors. They chronicled several years of traveling around the country with his “performance troop” called Transcendence. They did “fire shows” and “freak shows” where he swallowed a sword and JuneTime twirled a baton lit on fire.

When I clicked on some of their hundreds of friends, things got a lot more graphic with photos of red marks slashing across people’s backs and buttocks, and frankly explicit shots of genitals. Some men used a photo of their erection as their profile p
hoto, of all things! As if that was appealing. I made sure to click away quickly from those profiles.

I was shocked to see how late it was when I finally put the lap top away, reeling at what I had seen. I had been in the
fetish network for hours. I could hardly keep my burning eyes open, but my brain was buzzing in overtime.

I turned out the lights and lay on the couch in the dark, trying to absorb the riot of things I had seen.

I didn’t understand it. And what I didn’t understand, I had to figure out.

Dick was a jerk for suggesting I bug Lola’s laptop. I would never do that.

But I could put on that red wig and go to the next event that Lola had checked as “maybe going.” Pleasure Salon. It was being held at a bar on the lower east side.

There was nothing stopping me. And I might find out more.

The next day, yawning at work, I found the halter dress in a sales rack. It was black and when I tried it on, it fit my body like a glove. It was something I would never buy usually, so it was a real surprise to see how sexy I looked in it. In that dress, with that red wig, I could become a different person. Someone who could walk into a bar filled with fetish-lovers and feel right at home.

Then I could see for myself what Lola was up to.

Chapter 4

Victor

I
was up the block when I spotted those distinctive magenta curls going into the bar. I got a sudden rush like I’d never felt before, the visceral memory of Sierra’s body crushed under me as I whispered to her. Her rapid breath on my face, as I leaned so close to her cheek that I could feel her trembling.

I
didn’t like to think that it was nonconsensual, but it was a mindfuck she hadn’t negotiated. I had set it up that way. And she, in her ignorance, had agreed.

It was wrong to take advantage of her. But
I couldn’t regret it, and that probably made me a bad man.

Then again, it wasn’t
my fault. I’ve always been told I’m bad.

The fact that
I went around letting people think I’m a rich airline executive also proved that early prediction. But I only took advantage of women who were after me because of my money, so who was to blame for that?

Sierra was hiding
something behind that gaudy wig. Now was my chance to find out what it was.

I
went through glass door of the bar. It was once a Chinese massage parlor named Happy Endings, and the name had stuck when it was turned into a bar. Across the front of the building was the fuchsia awning with Chinese characters that proclaimed the services the massage parlor used to offer.