Role of a Lifetime (5 page)

Chapter 12

"So when can I see some of your work?" Kelly asked Holly.

"What?"

"I want to see it, the paintings, and pottery," he said.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Holly didn't know what to say to that.  Nobody was ever interested in that stuff.  And she was fine with that.  If she focused, concentrated really hard, when she was painting or throwing pots, then all she was thinking about was what she was working on.  The final product was irrelevant.  She did it for the process.  Holly looked across the table at Kelly and he smiled at her.

"Why?" she asked him finally and he laughed and shook his head.

"Why, really?" he said.

"What's so funny?"

"You are."

"How?"

"Okay, how's this, you've gotten to see my work, and now I want to see yours."

They had spent a portion of the dinner conversation talking about Kelly's movie career, and which movies Holly had seen.  He had wanted to know what she thought about the different roles, and she had answered, truthfully.  She hadn't told him that since they had met she had taken to searching for his name through the movies available on demand.

Lia was out just about every night with her friends but Holly had barely noticed, she was too busy watching a different one of Kelly's movies every night, when she wasn't on the phone with him, that is.  She realized Kelly was waiting for a response from her and she shrugged.

"Your work is meant to be seen, by everyone, mine is different."

"You, you are impossible," he said shaking his finger at her but she knew he wasn't mad at her, not in the least.  "Okay," he said and after another pause, he reached across the table and grabbed both her hands, exactly how he had at the diner, "I have at least two hours before I have to be back at the airport for my flight and I want to spend it with you."

"So you don't care about my work."

"No, I do, but," he brought her hands very slowly up to his mouth and kissed one of them, "dinner is over, but I wish it wasn't."

Holly was tempted to pull her hands back away from him but she didn't.  She wanted this.  She liked him.  They had talked on the phone almost every day for the past two weeks.  She hadn't gotten one hint of anything to worry about.  And didn't she deserve this?  A guy who actually was nice to her.

She put the brakes on anyway.  It was too much, too soon, too fast.  She still had to be careful.  Very careful.  Be sure.

"My work is at my house," she told him, then regretted it.

Kelly took his time thinking about that.

"You're not sure you want me at your house are you?"

Holly pressed her lips together and shook her head no.

Kelly started to say something but she interrupted him.

"I still barely know you," she said, shaking her head again and pulling her hands away from him, "I'm sorry, I like you, but I really don't know you."

"It's okay," he said and reached back across the table to grab one of her hands, "Listen, I want to see your work, so promise me tomorrow you'll e-mail me some pictures of it."

"Really?"

"Yes, promise."

"I promise," she said, but she really wasn't a hundred percent committed to keeping that promise.

"Okay," Kelly said, and he grabbed her hand again and squeezed it gently.  Holly felt a shock shoot through her, "Now, we have two hours, this is your town, so you tell me, where should we go?"

"Okay," Holly said, smiling, "I know where we should go."

She took him to another restaurant, several blocks away, where she knew the bar and the back patio stayed open long after the kitchen was closed.  Being that it was the middle of the week, it was almost empty, and they chose one of the small wrought iron cafe tables off to the side.  On the other side of the patio a guitar player strummed softly.

They had a minor argument when Kelly refused to let Holly drive him back to the airport, but she finally relented when he told her he would have to pay for the car service he had scheduled anyway.  They got into the car that showed up for him together so Holly could be dropped off at the municipal lot where she had parked for the evening.  Kelly put his arm around her and she settled into him.

She ran her hand up her forearm and was stunned by the bulk of it.  It didn't frighten her though.  It didn't matter, how strong a man was.  In general the average man was so much stronger than the average woman it-

"Holly," Kelly whispered in her ear and she turned to him.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, and she stopped thinking about everything, except kissing him and how that felt.

"Is this it?" said the cab driver.  Then, "Whoops, sorry."

Holly felt herself blushing and was grateful for the dark.

"Let me walk her to her car," Kelly said, "be right back."

"Okay man."

They walked swiftly to her car and then Kelly kissed her again, wrapping both of his arms around her this time.  Holly was disappointed when he pulled away.

"Good night," he said as he opened her car door for her.

"Bye," she replied.

She glanced back over at the cab.

"Go," he said, "I don't want you sitting here in your car alone."

"Okay," she said and pulled away from him.

Her purse vibrated before she was a block away but she didn't reach for the phone.  She still, occasionally, had nightmares about the accident.  It was strange how she seemed to remember more of it in her dreams then she had immediately afterwards, and although she wondered, more than once, if her visions were real or the result of an overactive imagination, driving still made her nervous.  The idea of taking her eyes off the road, to paw through her purse, was out of the question.   Twenty minutes later, when she had parked the car in front of her house, she pulled out her phone immediately.  The text said, "Call me when you get home if you want".

She called him before she got out of the car.  He waited while she opened the door, then again when she brushed her teeth and got ready for bed.  She waited while he went through security and boarded his flight.

Two hours later they were still on the phone together when they both fell asleep, Holly alone in her bed and Kelly on his flight back to LA.

Chapter 13

"So, how long are you in town for?"

Kelly looked up.  He had heard the question, but he didn't want to answer it.  He wanted the flight attendant to leave him alone.  He yanked one of the earbuds out of his ear.

"Did you say something?" he said.

"Yes, I was wondering how long you were in town for?"

"Just for one day," Kelly said, which was the truth, sort of.

He had told Holly he would fly home tomorrow, Sunday, but the truth was his flight home was booked for Friday.  He was hoping she would want him to stay a little bit longer.  He had only booked the flight because he was starting the new film the following week and had to be back in LA for it.  And he wasn't sure when he would be able to come back out East again.   If the shoot took longer than expected, which it almost always did, he would barely have any time off before he had to start on "Mistakes".

"Oh," she said, obviously disappointed.

Kelly smiled at her and put his earbud back in. He put his seat back as she walked away, hoping to get some rest, but prepared to pretend he was sleeping for the rest of the flight if necessary.  As it turned out, it wasn't necessary to fake it, he slept most of the flight.  When he woke up he checked the time, then grabbed a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag.

He brushed his teeth in the tiny airplane bathroom, which was a challenge.  He glanced at his hair and ran his fingers through it, wishing he had brought his hairbrush into the bathroom as well.  Then he decided he was making too big of a deal out of it.  When he was working on a film, they touched up his hair between practically every take.  It was ridiculous, no one's hair looked that perfect all the time, but that was how it was done.  He put the toothbrush back in the case and opened the door to the bathroom, wondering if he could possibly get the flight attendant to bring him some coffee without having to have a conversation with her.  He opened the door and she was standing right there.

"Hey," he said, "I was wondering if I could."

"Yes," she said.

"What?"

"Yes," she said again, and moved in really close to him.

Kelly took a step backwards which put him half in, half out of the bathroom.   She came in even closer and smiled up at him.

"No, ummm, coffee, I was wondering if I could get some coffee," he said.

He didn't have any choice, he would have to brush up against her to get around her.  It was that or go back in the bathroom, and he wasn't going back in the bathroom.

"Just coffee, really?" she said, reaching out and wrapping her hand around his upper arm.

"Yes, coffee, that's all, seat ummm, over there," he said and walked away from her, jerking his arm out of her grasp as he did so.

He put his stuff back in his bag as quickly as he could.  He put his ear buds back in and, seeing her coming down the aisle with the coffee, glued his eyes to his phone.  He glanced up as barely as he could and murmured "thanks" when the coffee was set down in front of him.

He called Holly when he exited the jet way.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi, I'm here, terminal A."

"Okay, I'll head over, I'm in the cell phone lot."

"Have you been there long?"

"No, ten minutes."

He made his way through baggage claim and outside.  He looked up and down, finally spotting Holly's car.   She was almost completely boxed in and he made his way to her car so she wouldn't have to fight for a spot at the curb.

"Hi," he said as he got in, then he felt kind of stupid.

Her reply was lost as someone angrily blew their horn and she jumped.

"I better get out of here," she said, "The traffic wasn't bad otherwise, just here at the terminal, for some reason."

They talked about his flight and the stuff she had been buying for Lia for school (Lia wanted this lamp at Marshalls for her dorm that was covered in crystals, and it's hundred dollars, no way).  Holly mostly kept her eyes on the road, glancing and smiling at Kelly occasionally.  Kelly was able to watch her, which he enjoyed.  Since his last visit, they had taken to Skyping instead of talking on the phone, mostly, and her face was imbedded in his memory but it wasn't the same as being together in person.  The one thing he really wanted to do was smell her, but that seemed like an awkward thing to do when she was driving.

He got his chance when they got to the beach and parked.  He hugged her when they got out of the car, bending down to smell her hair.  That was something he couldn't do over the phone or internet, smell her.  When he finally had his fill of that he kissed her, one long slow kiss, which wasn't enough, but it was going to have to do, as it was broad daylight and they were standing in the middle of a town parking lot.  Reluctantly, he ended it.

"So, why are we here again?" he asked, as he took her by the hand.

"Seafood festival," she said, leading the way, "I couldn't get Lia to come, well, Dylan didn't want to come," and Kelly noted the change in her tone, "We came all the time when she was little, on Sunday they have sky divers and she fell asleep on the beach, she was like one, and she woke up and people were dropping out of the sky, it was," she stopped.

"What?" Kelly said.

"Nothing, it was funny, I guess, I'm sure she doesn't remember, she was a year old, little more probably."

They paid admission at one of the gates and walked in.

"What's your pleasure?" she asked him.

"This is all seafood?" he replied.

"Mostly, but if you want something else, there is other stuff."

They grabbed a couple of items from several different stands and headed out to the beach.  Holly spread the blanket out she had brought and they sat down and started eating.

And that was pretty much it.  They ate and hung out, watching the waves roll in.  Later they went into the beer garden set up on the beach, and Kelly had one beer and Holly had a glass of wine, both in a plastic cup.  Then they headed back out to the beach and sat, listening to the band that was playing.

"What else is there?" Kelly asked when the band finished up.

"Well, the fireworks are at ten, if you want to stay for those, they'll probably be another band, unless you want to go, it's a little over an hour to my house."

"Let's go then," Kelly said immediately, "Let's go home."

Chapter 14

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" Holly asked, as she exited the highway.  The hotel was just up ahead.

"Tomorrow?" Kelly said, "I don't know."

"Well I could pick you up, what time, shoot," she said, as the light turned yellow and she slowed down and stopped.  "That's the hotel right there," she said pointing.

Kelly grabbed her hand as she started to pull it back towards the wheel.

"What?" she said.

"I don't want to go to the hotel right now."

"You don't?" she said, confused.

"It's only nine-thirty, that's like six thirty where I'm from."

"Yeah, but, you said you didn't want to stay for the fireworks."

"I didn't, but I thought we were going back to your house."

Holly didn't say anything, then the light changed and she concentrated on driving.  She put the blinker on and turned into the hotel parking lot.  She found a spot near the door and pulled into it.

"Holly," he said but she still didn't say anything.  She was torn, part of her wanted him to come home with her, very much.  The other part was absolutely terrified of the idea.

"Look," he said, "I'm not sure what the problem is, but I'll keep waiting, okay.  You said you would show me your work when I flew out here this time, but if you don't want to," he shrugged, "okay.  But seriously, it's barely dinner time on the west coast can we go do something?"

She looked at him then.

"Hey," he said, and leaned into her.

He slid one hand up around her cheek and kissed her.  She kissed him back and she didn't want it to stop and she wanted there to be more, but she just wasn't sure, not yet.

"It's just," she said, pulling away, "I still feel like I barely know you, I mean we talk on the phone or internet, all the time, but it isn't the same."

"Hmmm," he said, pulling back away from her.  He leaned back in his seat, folded his arms across his chest and studied her.  "Well," he said, "I'm a really great guy.  Nice.  Rich.  World's most eligible bachelor, according to several magazines.  Multiple years in a row."

Holly laughed.

"Laughing huh, no, not good enough, well how's this, I like you Holly, I really do, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, I mean on the plane today," he stopped.

"What?"

"Nothing, can we go somewhere where, you're comfortable, and then we can just talk?  And if you don't want me to go to your house while I'm out here, okay, but I am starting to wonder.  Are you hiding something?"

"Like what?"

"Like are you a hoarder or something?"

"No, definitely not."

"The rabbits then, how many rabbits do you have?"

"Two."

"How can there only be two, don't they multiply like rabbits?" Kelly was eyeing her with a great deal of suspicion, but his eyes were smiling at her, somehow.

"Umm, they are both bucks, boys that is, and they are fixed besides."

"Hmmm."

"What hmmm?"

"So what is it then?  Why don't you want to show me your work?"

That's not it, Holly thought desperately, but if that's what he thought it was, she would work with it.

"I don't show my work to anyone."

"You sell it, on line."

"Well not to anyone in person."

"So what, you're afraid I won't like it?"

Holly shrugged, "Kind of."

"Well, that's kind of ridiculous, no offense, I mean, what sort of a jerk would I be if I told you I didn't like it to your face?"

That made Holly think of how, for a very long time, she hadn't picked up a paint brush at all, and she changed the subject fast.

"I know where we can go," she said, and backed out of the spot.

She took him to a twenty four hour diner.  It was Saturday night so it was sure to have a fair number of people.

"What's this?" Kelly said, squinting up at the sign.

"They have really good pie here," she told him.

"Pie!  After all we ate today?"

"I won't tell your trainer," she promised him as they headed into the restaurant.

"I don't think you'll have to tell him, he'll know when he sees me sucking wind through my workout."

The diner was half full and the waitress waved them into a booth.  She came over and they both ordered decaf.  She brought the coffee and some menus and then left them.

"Really I'm not that hungry," Kelly said.

"Well what about chocolate cake then?" Holly said, sipping the coffee.

"You are hungry?"

"No, but I can always eat chocolate."

"Okay.  You never told me how it went at the hospital, the other day," Kelly said.

"Oh it was fine," Holly said, "Nothing too exciting, but the patients seems to like it."

"Did they talk to you about the group sessions?"

"No, I'm still waiting to hear from them on that."

"So what about," Kelly said, "expanding it.  You know, more people and hospitals."  The other thing Holly didn't really want to deal with, but Kelly hadn't asked about it for a while.  She didn't say anything so he kept talking, "I mean, I know you said after Lia went to school, but have you thought about it at all?"

"No," Holly said, "Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," he said, "but you are still interested right?"

"Is that why you're here?" she asked him suddenly, "because of the rabbits?"

"No," Kelly said, but didn't finish when the waitress came back over.  They tried to order chocolate cake but it got complicated when there were three different kinds.  Finally it was done, and the waitress walked away with the menus. "I am not here because of the rabbits.  I could do that over the phone, or I have people who could handle it.  I have people, you know, lots of them."

He raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed.

"I take it you're not impressed," he said.

"No, I'm very impressed."

"You're laughing."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Okay, I'm impressed then, about your people."

"So," he said, "we've established I'm not here for the rabbits, but I still want to do it, do you?"

"Yes," she said, lying, sort of.

She did want to do it.  But she knew what he didn't know, namely that there had been so many days where it had been all she could do to get Lia out of the house for school and then Holly had been unable to anything, anything at all, until Lia came home.  When she thought about it, the idea of an organization, staff possibly, depending on her, was so ridiculous it was almost funny.  Except it wasn't funny.  Not at all.

"So?" he said.

She knew he was trying to trying to lead her, get her to commit to it.  She decided to change the subject.

"You know," she said, and stopped as just then the molten lava cake came to the table.  Brought by the waitress naturally.  Holly seized one of the forks and let the chocolate taste fill her mouth and let that feeling buoy up her courage.  "I get the feeling," she said after she swallowed, "that this is very important to you."

"It is," he said.

"Why?"

Kelly grabbed a fork and took his own huge bite of chocolate cake.

"I never talked about this with anybody," he said when he was done chewing, "but okay."

Holly decided to put her fork down and he started.

"My best friend growing up was this kid named Richie.  We did everything together, our birthdays were two days apart, our moms were best friends, you know what I mean?" Holly nodded.  He went on, "Richie's dad, he had been injured in Vietnam, I didn't really know him, it seemed like he was always sleeping when I went over to Richie's house so we just didn't hang out there much.  I mean it was the seventies, nobody really worried back then, him and me, we'd get on our bikes and we'd just go.  So I never really thought about it, Richie's dad that is.  Then one day, we were nine, I think, Richie wasn't at school, and I came home and my mom told me his dad had died."

Kelly tapped his fork lightly on the table and set it aside.  He took a deep breath before he continued.

"Heart attack, my mom said.  We went to the funeral, which was really weird, I don't know if you know what I mean, nine years old, first time I ever went to a funeral, anyway, a couple of months later Richie's mom sold the house and they moved away.  I never saw him again.  I was pissed that my best friend was gone but I got over it, eventually.

"So fast forward what, twenty, no thirty years maybe, one day I get a Facebook friend request and it's Richie.  I had an account in my original name, very low key and he found it."

"Your name isn't Kelly Rockport?" Holly interrupted.

"No, it's Reilly, Kelly Reilly, but my first agent thought Rockport was more marketable."

"Huh," Holly said.

"I figured you knew, it isn't really a secret anymore," Kelly said.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"I interrupted you."

"Oh yeah, well, anyway Richie found me.  He said he was happy for me because I was doing so well, he had gotten married and his wife had just had a baby, that was their first, they got three now, they had said five, but after the third they changed their minds, I guess.  So a few months later, he's out in LA on business and I happen to be around, and we go out to a sports bar on a Monday night to watch football.  We were such football nuts when we were kids, I remember his sister got a new bed, and we talked his mom into letting us keep the old mattress out in their back yard, and we'd throw each other passes and dive on it, man that thing got so disgusting.

"So we're watching football at some sports bar and somewhere along the course of the night he tells me.  It wasn't a heart attack.  His dad killed himself.  Blew his brains out."

Kelly stopped then.  Holly thought if it was possible his eyes would have drilled holes through the table, he was staring at it so intently.  But when he started talking again his voice was stronger.  Angrier.

"It sucks, I mean it fucking sucks, sorry.  I mean I lost my best friend and I was so pissed about that at the time, but it was nothing, really, now that I know."

"That's why you go to the hospitals?" Holly asked quietly.

"Yeah, I guess, I mean, I've played the hero in so many movies and it's all fake, wires and now CGI and it seems glorious, but it's fake," he said, "I don't know, I'm not being conceited, I don't think me being there, at the hospital, is really worth much of anything, but it's what I can do, so I do it.  But you," he looked up at her and made eye contact and Holly felt a surge of warmth for him flow through her, "I mean, we know so much more now about PTSD and trauma, mental trauma, I mean, if we can do something that actually helps, so another kid doesn't have to lose their dad, or mom either, I guess, I would feel really good about that."

"I would too," Holly said softly, "I just don't know if I'm up to it."

"Come here," he said, motioning her to his side of the table.

She slid out of her side of the booth and took the two steps over to his.  She sat down and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tightly to him.

"We'll figure it out together," he said, "No pressure."

"Okay," Holly said, "No pressure."

"But one thing we have to do right now is finish this cake."

They both looked at the cake.

"I"m really not as hungry as I thought," Holly confessed.

"We cannot waste this cake, it's too good."

"Then we really do have a problem."

"Yup."

They sat there, not talking, Holly snuggled up against Kelly's side, his arm still firmly around her until the waitress came back.

"Hey do you guys need to take that home?  Do you want a box?"

Holly smiled at Kelly and he smiled back.

"Yes," they said at the same time.