Rockstar Daddy (Decoy Series) (6 page)

My voice cracks on my last sentence and a few tears escape. Jessica pulls me into a tight hug and smooths my hair.

      "It's ok honey. Everything's going to be OK. But you know what I'm going to say don't you?"

Oh yea I know what she's going to say. She thought I was making a huge mistake walking away from Jax and an even bigger one not telling him about being pregnant. She let me know right from the start she didn't like what I was doing but stood by me no matter what and I thank her for that.

      "You broke that man Kendal, I don't want to upset you but that day you broke both of your hearts. I still don't understand your whole plan of what you thought would have happened once you told Jax."

   "He would have got a normal job to support us and left his dream Jess, that's the kind of man he is and I wouldn't let him do that. I couldn't do that to him Jess, one day he could have resented me or worse Finley. What then?"

      "Jax wouldn't do that Kendal and you know it. He would have thought of something. What you gonna do now?"

I shake my head, I have no idea. I need to get myself together before the guys and Finley end there game.

      "Do you have any way of getting in touch with him?"

   "No, I deleted him number the day I left him."

She gives me a sympathetic look and taps my hand. We sit in a comfortable silence while we drink our tea. After ten minutes I'm back to myself and good job because the noises from the TV in the next room have stopped. Jessica gives me a quick wink before they all stroll into the kitchen. Sam, James and Mark all give me a hug. Mark takes the seat near me and pats my knee, his a good guy. Me and Mark are quite close, we hang out from time to time when Jessica and Sam are together and James is out with another of his girls. Some people mistake us for a couple but that's just plain wrong. I only see him as a brother figure and nothing more even though Tanya keeps dropping in hints of Mark crushing on me in her teasing way. When me and Harley were seeing each other he was actually jealous of Mark, I mean sure Mark is good looking and he has that good athletes body but I don't think of him as anything more than a friend. That just makes me cringe!

   Seeing as me and Jessica have already eaten and the guys and Finley have after the football game we just have one of Jessica's homemade desserts. She owns a bakery in the town center, everything she makes is delicious. We all wolf it down and James breaks the silence after he empty's his bowl.

      "Have any of you seen the paper today? How mad is that-"

   "No we haven't James!"

Sam growls at James from over the table in a louder than usual voice and his eyes are giving him daggers. James slouches down slightly in his chair and blushes a little. Very unlike James, he never takes shit from anyone. I can tell something is going on here but I'm not sure what. Nobody has looked at me yet but I have the feeling like they don't want to. Finley is oblivious from the weirdness and is laughing and pointing at James.

      "Hahahahahaha! Uncle Sam shouted at you!"

His still giggling and I see Jessica's mouth lift slightly at the corner. Everyone else still hasn't spoke or looked my way. Somethings not right, and I'm not staying any longer. I want to go home, I'm not being around them while there being like this.

      "OK,....... Well, it's getting late and I need to get Finley to bed."

Finley's laughter immediately stops and he frowns up at me.

      "Ohhhhh but I not tired!"

Well I'm tired and I'm not staying here any longer. I stand taking Finley's hand with me and we say our goodbyes. The guys still don't look me in the eye and Jessica has a weird look on her face. We only live around the corner so the drive isn't even five minutes long but Finley sulks all the way. When I put him to bed he doesn't even ask for a film and his eyes look heavy so he obviously is tired. He gives me a soft kiss and a hug and rolls over. I make sure everything is in order downstairs and go to bed myself. When I lie in my bed I can't stop thinking about my friends at Jessica and Sams house. What was that all about? I get the feeling Sam didn't want me to know what Jame was going to say but he only mentioned the paper. I don't really read the paper, I sometimes stick the news channel on if Finley lets me from time to time and I listen the radio at work but I wasn't at work today. I open my bedside drawer and reach for my IPad and search our local paper webpage, when the page loads up I get all sweaty and my breathing becomes fast. Theres a picture taking up the screen and it's a multishot picture, theres three pictures altogether. One of them is of Jax standing with his band mate and good friend Leo walking out the airport together, the next is his other two band mates Rhys and Max standing together and talking on phones. The big one is them altogether getting into a car and you can see airport behind them. It's the one in London! They can't be here can they? I tear my eyes of Jax in his black skinny jeans, white shirt, leather jacket and red converse and start to read the article. My heart thumping loudly in my chest.

Decoy Band members return home

A soure has reveled that all four band members of worldwide rockband Decoy are missing there  home town here in London. They are supposedly in the process of looking to buy properties. There friends and family are said to be pleased of them setting up roots here in London. There said to be taking a well earned break after there tour has just finished. They will start to write there new album in the up and coming months and it's roomered this is where they are also recording. We are all happy to have Decoy back home and can't wait for there performance at the festival in the Summer

I drop the IPad onto the bed and I drop my head into my hands. I try and hold back my tears but it's too hard. Is this real? Is he coming back? Where is he? Is he close? What if he sees me and Finley before I have a chance to explain? I can't stop shaking. Earlier I wanted to tell Jax everything but knew I had no way of getting in touch with him but that was before there was a possibility that I could see him. If he moves back here I will definitely have to tell him. If him or one of his friends sees me with Finley they will know who his dad is, he looks too much like Jax for anyone else to be his dad. If he has moved back theres no question about it, I will have to tell him. Now the option has been taken away from me I feel a little relief to be truthful but no less scared.

   I feel hurt that my friends didn't tell me. This was obviously the reason behind that scene. Didn't they think I needed to know about this. I should know this I have a right. The thought of maybe seeing Jax again has my heart hurting, even just the thought of bumping into Leo, Max or Rhys has me in knots. They were great friends and it hurt to loose them too but they represent Jax and everything what we had. I pick up my phone angry at Jess for not telling me sooner. I bet they all decided not to tell me, god I'm not a baby. Why didn't Jessica tell me when we was having that talk in her kitchen? I know Tanya and Maisy must know to. I click on Jessica's number and listen to the dialing tone.

   "Kendal?"

She sounds a little hesitant, so she knows.

      "Why didn't you tell me? I know you know what I'm talking about Jess."

She huffs down the phone.

     "I just didn't know how to tell you Kendal and I just couldn't upset you. You seem happy and this is just going to set you back again. If the guys and Fin weren't in the next room I would have told you today. I'm sorry but I found out just before we met up with Sophie and I couldn't just come out with it there and then letting our new friend know all about you and Jax, everyone text me to see if you knew so we decided to keep quiet until you said something. I thought that's what you were going to say earlier. Sam didn't want James upsetting you in front of Finley. Sorry honey."

It's my turn to huff now. I was all angry with her and just like that now I'm not. I can understand the position she was in. But I am still annoyed at how they all baby me.

   "OK. It's fine I'm sorry for shouting it's just it annoys me that you all baby me when it comes to Jax. Fucking hell Jess what am I going to do?"

      "If you see him, you see him. You don't say anything about Fin, heck you don't even have to talk to him. But you know what I think you should do. Before someone gets hurt you should try and tell him before he finds out for himself. Especially is he has moved here. Which is the better option? You telling Jax before he sees Finley or he sees you and Finley, puts two and two together and finds out for himself?"

Jessica didn't want me to end things with Jax in the first place and every now and then she will drop it in that Jax should be here or at least know about his son. Christmas and birthdays are the worse. Yes I know Jax should know but at twenty I made the decision to let Jax out of this and give him his dream come true. As much as he would have stood by me and Fin and told me he was happy I would know deep down we were keeping him back. He just got signed when Finley was a week old and they toured the world and had a crazy schedule, I know because I stalked his bands blog. If I would have stayed and told him I was pregnant I don't think he would have wanted to leave his newborn baby but he wouldn't have wanted to let his band mates down. He would have been torn about what to do but being the good guy he is I know he would have stayed with me and Finley so I went ahead and made it easy for him. I'm pretty sure with all those girls and money his living a very happy life and doesn't even think about me anymore. I bet he actually thanks me for letting him go to enjoy his new stardom being single and free. The thought of that really hurts but I chose this so I have to live with it. I know Jessica is right, I do need to tell him but how and when? I have kept this away from Jax for four years, it's going to be hard to come clean.

Chapter 4

~Jax~

   I look around the empty shell of a house, it's a dream house. It's gorgeous, all shiny and new. The problem is it's a dream house if I had a family, not single me. It's too big and it screams out wife and kids, BBQ in the summer and happy memories. It's too nice for just me, it's more Rhys style seeing as his settling down with his girlfriend. It's lucky his already found his house or I would be scared him taking this one. I couldn't let him have this house, I love it too much. This is the third house of the day, I have some old man showing me around houses. I told him what  I wanted, something suitable for just me but all his shown me is big houses like this. This one is the best by far though and I regret that this is not what I'm looking for at the moment in my life. The old dude obviously wants me to spend millions rather than thousands. As I look out over the huge garden my phone vibrates and there's a picture of Leo flashing up.

      "Yea?"

   "Jax my boy, have you found a place yet?"

     
"Nope. It's pissing me off."

   "Great, well me and Max might have a solution to your problem."

     
"Go on"

   "Well we've just signed the contract for this three bed house near where Rhys is moving into. It's cool, not to flash but it's not a tour bus either. It's big, has everything. There's a third room going spare if you want it with your own bathroom, split the rent?"

Max and Leo were looking to get something together. I wanted quiet so I was looking for something on my own. Leo and Max can be a handful, could I really share a house with them? There great guys and we have been best friends since we were teenagers but after so many weeks and then months on a tour bus with them I could kill them.

   "Look, just come and have a look yea? Then you can make your mind up."

  True, I don't see why not. If it's big enough I suppose I could stay with them for a while. Beside a house has more room to get away from them than a tour bus right?
He gives me the address and I tell the estate agent I have to go. He was going to show me another four places today and I guarantee they were going to get bigger and bigger. Five minutes later I pull up to the address Leo gave me. I'm outside the property in front of an electric gate, good for security. I buzz the intercom and they let me in, I follow the road down, the drive leads you down a dirt road and then to the drive of the house. The gates have panels in them so nobody can see through them and the house isn't too close to them that if they were open you couldn't see much. The house does look big, too big for just us three but I suppose that means more room to escape Max and Leo when there in there usual annoying moods and I feel like killing them. I park on the drive which is big enough to fit our three cars, theres large garage to the side of the house too. I step out my car and Max opens the front door and pats me on the shoulder when I stand in front of him.