Rocked Under (30 page)

Scott came towards me and scooped me up and bundled me in his arms.

I gasped, "Put m–me down."
 

"You're freezing your fuckin' ass off."

I had nothing on but a towel and Scott was carrying me. Not only was I embarrassed for looking like a washed out rag but now he had my almost naked body in his arms. I wanted to become invisible. Straight away his warmth seeped into me, easing my shivering but I would never admit it.

He took me to my room and placed me on the edge of my bed gently and let go of me, taking his warmth with him.

"Where's you're warm bed clothes?" he looked around him.

No way was he doing what I think he planned on doing. "I can get d–dressed on my own." I tried to sound firm but it was weak. "I don't n–need your help."

"The hell you don't!" he growled suddenly. "Where are they?"
 

I shrank back from him and pointed over to my bottom drawer. I was too tired and cold to argue back even though I wanted to.
 

 
He pulled out the first warm things he put his hands on and came back to me.

"I promise I won't look but you need to drop the towel so I can put these on you."

"Nice t–try, asshole," as if I was going let him to do that.

"You either do it or I'll do it for you. You should be chilling out, not fuckin' showering." His mouth was a thin line. "You want me to call Ash and tell her that you're not resting?" his green eyes brooked no argument. He was resolute and I knew that he wasn't bluffing.

I huffed, "You better not look."
 

As I lowered the towel to my waist, Scott kept his eyes on mine while I tried to keep my face indifferent. I wanted to cringe and squirm with my whole heart. Scott Mason was dressing me!
What if my body isn't as sexy as the other girls he he'd with?
I wonder if he compares them like I do?

He lifted my fleece pyjama top and put it over my head. His eyes were darkening and I knew that he was trying very hard to keep his eyes glued to mine.
 

Why do I even care what he thinks anyway? I. Don't. Bloody. Care.

But I did. I
cared
what he thought about my body — what he thought about me.
 

I pushed my arms through, then Scott — without looking — found the hem and barely missed touching my breast which sent a jolt of liquid heat through me as he pulled it down the rest of the way over my stomach.
 

My skin became warm and my face heated in an instant.

He picked up the flannel bottoms next as I expelled my breath.

Oh, God!
"I need to stand up."
So embarrassing!

He moved away and helped me stand. Once again, he kept his eyes on mine as I lowered the towel hesitantly to the floor.

I could hear him breathing deeply and I started to tremble. I knew it had nothing to do with my body recovering and more to do with Scott and the way he was looking at me with open hunger that he tried, and failed, to d failedconceal fully.

He opened my pyjama pants with both hands so I could step into them. I put my hand on his bare arm for support as I slipped my legs inside. He pulled them up slowly, his hands gliding up the outside of my thighs, over my hips, sending sparks on a collision course with the deepest part of me and all the while, his eyes never left mine.

"Thanks." My voice was breathy and I stepped away from him and swayed on my feet.

"Jesus, babe, you need to rest," he picked me up again, carried me into the lounge and sat with me in his lap. I went to move but he held me tight and wouldn't let me go.

"I'm fine now, you don't need to stay." I tried to move off him again and he let me.

I got under the blanket as he stood.

"Emma, about the other night–"

"I don't want to talk about it, I really don't." I shook my head.

He sighed.

"We'll be gone in two weeks and you can do what the hell you want. You can sleep with the whole fucking town and sniff all the drugs in the world." I looked away to hide the fact that it upset me. Why would I want to talk about it? I wanted to forget what happened, not relive seeing him fucking another girl like that after everything he had said to me. When he came back, he came back a Scott that I didn't know; there was no softness to him — he was a stranger.
 

Those two weeks had been a hell of hurt and anger and I didn't know why. I guessed a part of his behaviour was to do with drugs but that couldn't be the
only
reason. I knew first-hand how cocaine affected someone; how it twisted them and how addicting it could be. How could he do it? Why did I let him get to me so much? Oh, yeah, it was because of a little thing called
love.
Loving a person was arming them.

"Don't keep looking away from me." He sat down next to me then gently turned my face towards him. "I'm sorry you saw what you did. I haven't used it since that night and I won't be going there again. It just made all my problems worse anyway."
 

"Please, Scott, not now. I don't care about it. You're sorry and that's — great." I did care.

He looked upset then and he put his head in his hands. I felt bad, I didn't want to hurt him, I just didn't want to
be
hurt anymore.

"I know you're hurting and I'm so sorry that your dad died and left you," my voice was gentle, "but I can't do this with you anymore. When you were gone, I missed you — but you didn't call
once
. I wanted to be there for you. I was worried and you must have known that I would be. We were friends if nothing else, Scott!"

He gripped his forehead before running his hands over his face and looking at me.

My tone hardened, "The way you have treated me since you got back, like you hated me," I paused when he looked away again. "I didn't deserve that. I really don't understand why you singled me out — out of everyone — and chose to hate me–"

His nostrils flared. "I told you before, I could never hate you."
 

"You confuse the shit out of me all the time. You say all this stuff to me and then the next time I see you, you're with someone else?" I took a breath. "Which, by the way, I
know
you did purposely to hurt me, so what the hell do you expect me to think?"
 

Chapter Thirty-four

A week of recovery went by and today I went to class for the first time since I fell ill. Ash deserved a medal for putting up with me, I didn't make a nice patient at all but she got me better and cheered me up the best she could.

I was walking to lunch when hands started tickling me under my arms from behind. I squealed loudly, making everyone turn their heads in our direction. I swung around to see who it was.

Kyle stood there with a cheeky grin on his face.

I laughed.

He put an arm around my shoulder as we continued to walk, "How are you? You look back to your ravishing old self again."

A wide smile split my face, "Thanks, and yes, feeling much better."

"Good enough to come out tonight?"

"Where?"

"A bunch of us are going to Soundz and I know you won't refuse because I happen to know that you love to dance."

I laughed again, "Is that right, who told you that bit of top secret information?"

Kyle opened the door and walked us into the cafeteria.

"Ah, I have eyes and ears everywhere. I'll tell you in exchange for a kiss." He closed his eyes and puckered his lips.

I laughed harder and my heart lightened. "Thanks, but I'll leave it top secret."

He clutched his chest and feigned heartbreak, "Oh, my heart doesn't take rejection from your beautiful lips well."

We went towards my usual table and I noticed Scott was sat there on his own right away.
 

He turned as though he knew I was thinking about him, and caught my eye. He glanced from me to Kyle, to his arm around my shoulder and then back to me again. 

“I don’t think Scott likes me touching you.” Kyle whispered.

Scott smiled and raised a hand in greeting at me.
 

He was really trying. Over the last week he’d popped in a few times to check on me and ended up staying until late.

We had watched movies and he’d cooked for me too while Ash had been busy with classes. I had told him that he didn't have to keep me company but he just said that he was repaying the favour.

I asked him how he was dealing with his dad's death on one of the nights that Ash was out with Newton again.

"I'm okay. I miss him. I miss the thought of him being
here
." He had then looked down at his hands. "It's been hard to accept that all I will ever have of him is memories and his things."
 

I put a hand over his, "I'm sorry you lost him. He seemed like a really nice guy."

He looked at me and smiled faintly. "He was the best and he didn't deserve to go like that — not at his age." He looked sad again. He was looking at me but his eyes were distant, as though he was reliving a memory. After a moment he had snapped back to me. He looked at our joined hands and squeezed as he shook his head. "I miss him so much." His voice broke and I had flinched as he had stood up agitatedly, turning his back to me.

He was trying so hard to keep his tears in. Tears welled up in my own eyes just watching him but I pushed them back and stood. I went close to him and put my arms around his waist, resting my head against his back which shook with silent sobs.
 

I circled around to face him. His jaw was tensed, lips tight and eyes closed tight.

"Don't." His voice had been a deep, broken appeal and he tried to turn away from me again.

I cupped his cheeks before he made it, "Scott, it's okay," I had said softly. "It's okay to cry."

It had been like a dam breaking. He had hauled me into his arms, buried his face in my neck and held on while great powerful sobs racked him. His legs were taken from under him and we both went down to the floor on our knees.
 

We had been a heap on the floor and I had held him while he had let his pain out. I had run my hands through his hair and whispered to him while his heart broke for a father that he had loved — that was taken from him so unexpectedly.

"He didn't deserve to die. He was so fuckin' good." He squeezed me harder, "I must have been a fuckin' disappointment to him but he loved me anyway." He could barely get his words past his lips.

I pulled away to look at him and wiped his tears. "I see a lot of good in you and so does Ash and Newton and Meg. So don't ever think that."