Road to Berry Edge, The (26 page)

‘This is his home. He's lived here all his life, and Nancy, she belongs here too.'

‘Well I don't know where either of them is, so there's nothing we can do about it.'

*

Claire had been out to do the shopping. The two children were playing happily in the small garden at the front and Nancy was baking bread, it was one of her favourite occupations. She was worried. The people in the area knew that Michael had been branded a troublemaker and no pit manager would take him on. During the weeks since he had been out of gaol he had tried everywhere, and when that failed he had looked for other jobs, but the only thing he could get was the worst-paid labouring. Nancy wanted to talk to him but she didn't dare because he was so quiet and withdrawn. He was out now after yet another job.

She took the first batch of bread from the oven. She knew that the smell was enough to entice Susannah and the children in from the garden, and by the time Claire came in they were eating bread hot from the oven, spread with plum jam.

Nancy thought when Claire came in that she didn't seem very happy. She looked hard at Susannah and then put down her basket and included both of them in her gaze as the children ran outside again with their bread and jam.

‘Got some news,' she said.

‘What's happened?' Susannah said.

‘Robert Berkeley is back and he's going to be married.' They had long since abandoned any pretence that Victoria was not his child. Nancy was glad of that now.

‘Married?' Nancy said.

Susannah stared.

‘He's going to marry Miss Norman. They're just back from London. That plain, skinny, old—'

‘Claire,' Susannah admonished her.

‘Well, she is,' Claire said, picking up her basket and beginning to unload the groceries. ‘Some fun he'll have with her.'

‘He can marry whoever he likes,' Susannah said calmly.

‘Yes, but why her? He could have anybody he wanted in the whole world. She's thirty. Can you imagine being as old as that and never having a man?'

‘Claire …' Susannah said again.

‘She must be like a prune by now.'

Nancy giggled. She didn't mean to, she knew that Miss Norman was very nice, but it didn't seem right that she should have Rob.

‘He can't care about her,' Claire said.

‘Why should he marry her if he doesn't care about her?'

‘I don't know. You don't think he's got her up the whatsit, do you?'

‘Well, it wouldn't be the first time for him, would it?' Susannah said.

‘She wouldn't let him do that,' Nancy said.

‘He's very good at getting what he wants.'

‘Aren't they all?' Claire said.

*

‘Don't you really mind, Susannah?' Nancy said later, when the children were in bed and Susannah was sitting by the window with a glass of wine.

‘Mind? I could kill her.'

‘You do care about him then?'

‘God, yes. I was half dead until I met him. He doesn't go on like other people, you know. He treats you really nicely, and even before he cared about me he still treated me like I mattered to him. He does that. He doesn't know how to be nasty to people and they get the wrong impression, they
think he minds them but he doesn't really. He likes things to be right for the sake of it, he likes to put things together so that they work, like solving puzzles, just because. You don't get many people like that, you especially don't get many men like that, they're too greedy. And he knows, he knows that he doesn't manage things whereas other men, they pretend that they do, they pretend to themselves as though they had to get everything right. Going to bed with a man is a sure way of finding out what he's really like. He asked me to marry him.'

‘I know. Claire told me. He can't love Miss Norman.'

‘I think he feels as if he has to marry her, and when you can't have who you want you don't really care who you have. He never forgave himself for what happened to their John and she's part of that. After all, it's not very likely anybody else would have her, is it? She hasn't got a lot to offer.'

‘She used to be bonny,' Nancy said, ‘so everybody says before John died, before she came over all churchy and good. Maybe she'll be bonny again now.'

*

Michael came in when it was very late. Nancy was waiting up for him.

‘I had to stay, I got offered two days' work. I'm starting again early in the morning,' he said.

Nancy said nothing. He went to get washed and changed and she gave him something to eat. When he had eaten, he went over to where she was sitting mending the children's clothes and said, ‘I'm going to have to leave here, Nancy, I can't get any work.'

Nancy stopped, looked up. ‘Leave? What, the area?'

‘I'll never get a decent job again here, nobody'll have me. There are plenty of other coalfields. I'll send you money for the bairns.'

‘I don't want you to send me money,' Nancy said. ‘I want to go with you.'

He looked at her.

‘I didn't think you would.'

‘If you think I'm staying here without you, you're wrong. What do you think I've been waiting around for, my birthday?'

‘I can't marry you, Nancy, I haven't got any money.'

‘I've been married and believe me it wasn't all it's cracked up to be.'

‘That was different. You should never have married our Sean.'

‘Now you tell me.'

‘I'll make some money and find a house and I'll send for you.'

‘Oh no you don't,' she said, getting up, pushing the mending aside, ‘you go off south by yourself and some woman'll grab you. If you're going, I'm coming too.'

‘Nobody's going to grab me, Nancy. I love you. I've always loved you. Don't you believe me?'

‘I might if you showed me.'

‘When did you change your mind about me?'

‘When I didn't have you. It took me until I didn't have either Sean or you to see the difference.'

He didn't say anything for a minute or so and then, ‘You're a good Catholic woman.'

‘I'm not that good,' Nancy said.

Michael got hold of her. Nancy had been waiting for him to for weeks, and was afraid that she had misjudged his feelings. Part of her knew that Michael wanted to look after her properly. He wanted a house and a job and a wedding and, in a way, had wanted her for so long, so badly, that to actually take her into his arms now seemed impossible, might always be impossible. And she was frightened. Sean had treated her so badly. She had never been loved, she didn't know what to expect. It was such a big risk, especially now that she had settled here in this house with Susannah and Claire and the children, and been
as happy as she could be during that time knowing that he was in prison.

Sean had never kissed her like Michael did now. Sometimes his kisses had set her body on fire, but he had never kissed her slowly and gently like this. And once they were married, once Sean had begun treating her badly, there had not been any affection of any kind. There had been no kisses or caresses and Nancy had forgotten, or never known, how good it was. Sean had mocked displays of affection or any finer feelings. She did wonder just a little whether even now, here with her, Michael needed to triumph over his brother. She saw now that in his way he was just as devious as Sean had been, or Rob or Harry. Maybe men were all alike in that way. They saw what they wanted and then they tried to take it. Michael had infinite patience, but he would take what he wanted when he judged that the time was right, and he had judged it correctly because she wanted him.

He took her to bed and there he was not like Sean had been. He was sober and kind and tender and Nancy discovered what it was like to go to bed with a man who loved her. It was quite different. Nobody was taking anything, and it was warm and easy and quite delightful. Nancy was greedy and bold for the first time in her life. She was surprised at herself. He was just pleased to be there, she could tell.

The curtains were not closed. She could see the dark shadows of the cathedral from her bed. She had lain there night after night and thought how near Michael was, and yet she couldn't see him or touch him. She couldn't see him very well now, because she had turned out the light; but she could feel him well enough, as close to her as he could be.

‘I love you, Michael,' she said.

He didn't say anything, but she knew that if she had carved it up on the wall in the room he couldn't have been better pleased. He was like Sean in some ways. No doubt
there would be battles, but Michael would never use against her the kind of weapons which his brother had employed, and if he hurt her it would not be with his hands, those hands which were now caressing her past her reason. She forgot Sean, she even forgot the children. All her troubles went away, all her worries ceased.

Harry wondered whether Rob was deceiving himself over Vincent and Ida's reaction to his forthcoming marriage. Neither of them was pleased, they had just given in because there was nothing they could do. Harry knew that his mother, while wanting Rob home again, was aghast at the idea of Faith at the beautiful Nottingham house where Sarah had reigned. Rob's mother and Faith's mother were happy sorting out the wedding, but Ida was restless.

‘Do you think that Mother might like to go home?' Harry asked his father, one warm evening when they were alone in the garden at Faith's parents' house.

‘Home?'

‘Yes, you know, the small cottage in the country that you occasionally frequent. I think she misses the garden.'

‘If we go home she'll miss the wedding,' Vincent pointed out.

‘Will that be a great loss?'

Vincent sighed. ‘She's very disappointed.'

‘Yes, I can see that.'

‘Not that Faith hasn't improved immeasurably, but she will sound her “a”s as though they were scarcely worth the trouble. I can't bear the thought of her in Nottinghamshire society permanently, she's such a parochial little soul.'

‘Aren't Faith and Rob going to live here?'

‘Not if I can help it.'

‘Mother might prefer it if they did.'

‘No, she wouldn't. She'll get used to Faith and anything would be better than losing him. You will come back with us next time, won't you?'

‘If I can get away.'

‘How could you prefer this place?'

Harry was about to say that he didn't because he didn't want to hurt his father, and then he smiled at himself and said, ‘I don't know. I feel as if I can be myself here.'

‘And who else have you been?' Vincent asked tartly.

‘I've been your son, Vincent, for the last thirty years. Being the son of a supposed genius is very trying.'

‘I'm proud of what you've done here,' Vincent admitted. ‘I want you at home, but I like seeing you here in your awful little office. You've done so much.'

‘Are you feeling all right, Father?'

Vincent grinned.

*

That evening Faith and Rob went for a walk because the house was very crowded and they liked being alone. They walked across the fell. It was the way that Faith liked best and she said to him, ‘John and I were going to rent one of the terraced houses that overlook the park. Do you remember?'

‘Were you? I don't remember anything about it. It would be a bit cramped, wouldn't it?'

She smiled. ‘We had very modest aspirations. Have you thought about it at all?'

‘I thought we'd just go on as we are, unless that's a problem.'

‘There's hardly any room,' Faith said.

Rob frowned.

‘The place is huge,' he said.

Faith stopped. They had reached the highest point around there. She could see the works and part of the town.

‘You're talking about the house in Nottingham, aren't you?' she said.

‘Where else?'

‘You want us to live with Ida and Vincent?'

‘Would you object to that?'

‘They
might,' she pointed out.

‘No, they wouldn't. I do partly own it.'

‘But you lived there with Sarah.'

‘That doesn't have to be a problem. We'd get used to it. It's far too big for them on their own, and Vincent would never sell. Ida is too kind a woman to resent you, Faith.'

‘No, no, I didn't mean that she would, it's just that … I thought we could live here.'

‘I never intended to live here.'

‘Berry Edge is your home.'

‘No, my home is in Nottingham.'

‘It's my home.'

‘Faith, your home is going to be with me.'

‘What about my parents and your mother and—'

‘I would have thought you'd be glad to get away from them. Harry wants to stay here. I can just come up from time to time for a few weeks and help out. Harry will buy or rent a decent-sized house and we can stay with him when we come.'

‘I have friends here and commitments and …'

‘And John's grave?'

‘I haven't been to John's grave, and it's very hurtful of you to say that.'

They went back to the house and found the others sitting in the garden. Faith told her mother and father that Rob didn't want to live in Berry Edge, and could see by their faces that they were displeased and disappointed. So was Rob's mother. Ida and Vincent said nothing other than that she was very welcome to live with them, but Rob's mother said, ‘I never heard anything like it. The Berkeleys have lived here since the works began. Who's to run the place?'

‘I am,' Harry said.

‘Why can't you go back to Nottingham with your parents, and Rob and Faith can stay here?'

‘Because that's not what either of us wants,' Rob said.

‘What about what
I
want?' Faith put in.

‘You'll be my wife,' Rob said.