River's Return (River's End Series, #3) (14 page)

He almost shoved her off from sheer shock. Allison was kissing him? Her lips touched his and her hands came up to rest on his shoulders as if steadying herself. She didn’t mean that. He was sure of it, somewhere off in his fuzzy-brained head. Allison did not intend to start kissing him. She was distraught, visibly out of her head, and this, whatever
this
was, meant nothing. It was strictly her response to grief. Perhaps she needed human contact. Yes, that had to be it. She was so sad, she needed to feel something else. He was there… so maybe she felt more alive through him.

That made sense. Then, she didn’t really mean to kiss him specifically. She was reacting to a natural impulse without thinking.

Placing his hands on her biceps, he wrapped them around her. He was about to gently push her back when she opened her mouth and her tongue touched his closed lips. He hesitated; and that was his downfall. He should never have hesitated. But when he felt her silky, warm tongue on his, it surprised him because it felt so good. And he liked to indulge in things that felt good. Having her tongue inside his mouth was too much temptation. Instead of pushing her back, and away from him, his hands tightened around her arms and he pulled her closer. Her arms circled around his neck and she clasped him to her tightly, smashing her breasts between them and opening her mouth wider.

On and on, Allison kissed Shane. She was truly in command here; and he was not. He could barely keep up with the steaming heat of her mouth as she dipped her tongue in and out of his mouth. Her teeth scraped his, and she chewed and mashed his tongue with her own. She was so warm in his lap that he started to physically respond despite his hesitation. Now, he was downright confused about how and why Allison Gray ended up in his lap and
kissing
him.

“Al—Allison…” he mumbled her name around her tongue in his mouth and finally had to push her back. “What is this? What’s going on?”

Looking up, she stared up at him for a pronounced eye lock before gently sliding her feet onto the floor and getting up. She towered over him as she said, “Let’s go upstairs.”

He stared at her and his mind was spinning. Trying unsuccessfully to make sense of how this could be happening, and what she might possibly mean, Shane dared to wonder,
like go upstairs to have sex?
It was more than shocking if she were proposing that. He could not fathom her reasons why. Sure, plenty of women had offered the same invite, or some other version of
come to my bedroom
. But, never, not once, did he pause to consider why any of those woman were issuing such a request. On the contrary. He was usually there before they were.

“Why?” he finally asked, hating himself for asking.

She nodded and pressed her lips together. “Just because I need you.”

His resolute reluctance not to do this swiftly vanished at her quiet words. She stopped crying, and wasn’t acting so needy. Her eyes were clear, if fatigued, in her distant expression.

“Are you sure?”

“About this? Yes.”

What wasn’t she sure of? Unable to make any sense of her request, it bothered him more than the fact Celia was married. He got to his feet, but kind of took his time, almost waiting for her to change her mind. She watched him rise until he was towering over her. He reached out and pushed a hunk of her thick hair off her shoulder. She smiled and took his hand before turning and pulling him to follow her. To be clear: to follow her up to her bedroom.

It felt… completely surreal to Shane as he walked up the creaky stairs of her old house, onto the freshly carpeted hallway, and into her bedroom. A large window overlooked the river and ranch.
Weird how they kind of gazed at each other from across the river
, he noted. Her room was in blue, with an old fashioned, metal bed that was painted white, and tasteful decorations that complemented the soft blues in the bedspread. It was the most calming room Shane could imagine. Or was it Allison’s soothing presence? There was something distinctive about her that always made him feel like he could just chill. There was never any crazy need to get away and go somewhere else when he was with her. She was one of the few people he just liked to be with. Now he was standing in her bedroom, holding her hand, at her instigation, without any play from him… It almost made him dizzy whenever he began to believe this might be for real.

She turned and stepped up towards him, rising onto her tiptoes and putting her hands on his shoulders. He wanted to resist, but hell, the tips of her breasts brushed his chest and he groaned at the pleasant sensation. He leaned down and put his hands around her waist as he lowered his head to hers. Her mouth was right there, waiting for his.

She was so good at it, and he didn’t really expect her to be. Not like this. Not the way her tongue could slide along his tongue. Not as the aggressor who
knows what she wants so just take it
kind of woman. He leaned closer so they could kiss even deeper. His hands slid up and down in a restless rustle over her blouse that he crushed between his fingers. It felt so good—the soft silky material warmed by her skin. He pulled on it, untucking it completely from her slacks and she didn’t resist, but rather, leaned into his touch. Her hands came up and got entangled with the long ponytail that hung down his back. He found the first button on her shirt and undid it while their mouths stayed engaged. He slid one button out, then the next, and the next. It was awkward and his giant fingers made him feel like he was all thumbs.
Nerves.
He was nervous.

It was odd to him to be nervous especially in this moment.
The seduction
. Finally, he managed to undo the whole line of buttons and parted her shirt with his hands. Sliding the material off her shoulder, his other hand wrapped around her waist. Her skin was so warm and soft. She had a silkiness exclusive to pale white redheads. She felt as delicate as a flower petal, only she was more alive, with warmth and youthful bloom. He waited a few moments before shifting his hands to the material and pushing the shirt completely off her shoulders. He traced the black line of her bra straps on both sides of her collarbone. His finger followed the lace shell that encased her breasts that were easily big enough to fill both of his palms. He tucked them into his hands and brushed his thumbs over her nipples. They started to harden and turned pebbly at his continued brushes. Each time he stroked, her tongue pushed harder into his mouth and lapped at his lips more eagerly.

She stepped back, and pulled him with her, never parting their mouths not even for a second. Their breaths and saliva blended and made his heart rate increase. He seemed to be almost fumbling in his attempts to keep up with her. This was not his normal state of seduction. Usually, he was the commander and in complete control. Even if his partner changed her mind, he could simply stop and be done with her, having no real emotional investment in any particular woman or any sexual encounter.

But this? This didn’t feel like that. This was much bigger, deeper, and more intense. His hands were almost shaking as he gripped her waist, trying to keep up with her. His heart swelled with his anxiety to do this just right for her. And
with her
.

Breaking away from him, Allison shrugged her bra straps down before twisting her bra around and unhooking it herself. She tossed it aside and went for her zipper. He was standing there, completely memorized by her movements, and frozen still. He had never been so shy with a woman before. His gaze stayed riveted on her bare breasts. Huge and full, they were really fucking lovely, actually. He appreciated them, and not just because of their immense size. There was something that swelled in his chest, something tender inside him, when he saw the white skin and soft pink at the end of her nipples. They swayed gently as she bent down to slide her slacks off, and he felt almost protective of her. He imagined she considered her breasts to be more in her way than an asset, judging by her chosen profession where any suggestion of sexuality was, no doubt, highly frowned upon. But then again, everything about her was really fucking lovely, he realized now as he watched her.

Did she really want to do this with him? He didn’t get it. He was so far down the list of her ideal type of guy. He felt almost garish standing there in her feminine, tasteful bedroom, and nearly gasped to discover she wore black underwear that matched her bra. Not the overly suggestive version he imagined at Charlie’s conference, but rather a sexy, lacy black set that enhanced her white skin. He sensed her looking at him as he gawked at her before just barely lifting his gaze to hers.  She shrugged as if to say
it is what it is
. He nearly fell to his knees and wrapped her up in his arms before squishing her next to him. She was tiny and perfect and curvy with deep indentations at her waist and hips that swayed out in a sexy “C” shape. He guessed by her shrug she thought she was somehow… what? Average? Or some stupid shit like that? No. She was
phenomenal
. Nothing like what he expected at first, but really, the longer he got to know her, yeah, the more often he was starting to see her like this.

He realized how sexy it was to kind of be all covered up and classy. He stood there, failing to articulate a single phrase. A flush rose up his neck and into his cheeks. Why couldn’t he find his game? He was the master of pretty, sexy words and flirts. He could usually smile and engage, especially with a naked woman.

But this? No. This felt so different. It was intense and important. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to do with important women.

“Shane?” She nodded to indicate his clothes.
Oh, right.
He was supposed to strip down too. He cringed. She hadn’t seen what he looked like naked, and it never bothered him before. He usually got naked wherever he was, and had no qualms at openly strutting around nude. He wasn’t blessed with even the slightest modicum of modesty. Until now. Until he saw Allison waiting for him.

He started with his boots, quickly untying the huge monstrosities and tossing them off his feet. Next, he tugged the leather vest off. Easy. The long-sleeved shirt he wore under it promptly followed. His neck was adorned with necklaces and chains, which he also removed. With a deep breath, he pulled off his t-shirt off and let her eyes take in their fill. He expected a little shock from her. His chest, left side and back were practically alive with bright, primary-colored tattoos. The most prominent one was a detailed, intricate drawing of the bike he designed and built, which was probably his most prized possession. It was a superb reflection of his one and only talent, and really, that was the essence of Shane. So the bike was eternally portrayed on his chest before sliding around to his side and ending at his back. He was also pierced in various places. That surprised some of the women he knew. None of his piercings showed, however, except at times like this.

Her gaze was fastened on him, no doubt, tracing all the different artwork featured in his skin. He sighed. He could not have been what Allison fantasized in a lover. He could not be. It was the first time he ever felt the slightest tinge of self-consciousness regarding who he was, his tastes, and his appearance. Clasping the top button of his jeans with both hands, he unzipped them, and, of course, her eyes narrowed as they followed his movements. She didn’t speak, or show shock… much less, appreciation. Nothing. She did not respond in any way.

Peeling back the denim, he tried to step out of the pant legs as gracefully as he could. He was fully naked now, and he let Allison take in his full height as well as his width. He was not a small man… anywhere. His dick was pierced and a subtle, not too gaudy, ring adorned the end of it. None of his brothers knew he liked such piercings; and most women were either intrigued, surprised, or a little repelled.

Allison?

He had no idea. She didn’t react. Or even comment.

He wished she would since he’d never had a woman remain silent. Well, maybe so if it was a quick hook-up somewhere and all the clothes weren’t removed. Yeah, he’d had his fair share of quickies, totally random and just that. Little or no conversation. But never in a situation where they took plenty of time to get naked and feel each other up; and yet, Allison revealed nothing. He was left totally off his game and became completely unsure of how to proceed with her.

He felt slightly overdone, which was crazy. He never worried about how he dressed, or if his body decorations bothered anyone. He liked how he looked and that’s all that mattered, right? But now? Standing before Allison, Shane felt completely weird. He seemed to be on display, but that was only because he was so unlike her lily-white, un-inked skin and subtle style. Everything about him suddenly seemed too obvious, like he was trying too hard to be
different.
With Allison, it only embarrassed him, and he saw himself as an imbecilic teen, trying to get attention, and going way, way overboard.

Clearing his throat, he stared at his feet. His erect penis disrupted his line of sight and its bright, shiny, silver ring attached to the end was…
Fuck!
He glanced off to the side.

“Look, I know I’m probably not what you really want.”

“No, you’re so wrong. You’re exactly what I want.”

Her tone was clear and sure. He jerked his gaze off the floor to scrutinize her. “I am?”

“You’re an unbelievably beautiful man,” she said softly, adding in a surer tone, “You already know that, however. I don’t doubt it for a second.”