Rites of Passage (37 page)

He moves his hands to my hair, and mine are pulling at his shirt, urging him closer. He nudges me back against the wall, pinning me in place. One hand leaves my hair and travels down my neck and my side, coming to rest on my hip. He leans in, my body igniting every place he presses against me. “I need to kiss you.”

I need it too, but all I can do is nod. Then, for a moment, his lips are on mine, pressing hard. I want to melt into him, to let the world around me disappear. I stand on my tiptoes and lean against him, trying to get as close as I can.

But as fast as it starts, it ends, and too soon he pulls away, breaking every inch of contact. “I wish I could ask you to stay. To not do this. If I do, you'll hate me. If I don't, and something happens to you, I'll hate myself.”

“I'll be fine.” My voice is breathy and I close my eyes, trying to focus on the task at hand. “I'll be fine.” I say it again so I'm forced to believe it.

“I've got guys at each of the stations. In eight hours, it'll all be over.” He pulls me close once again, his arms squeezing me, threatening to crush my ribs.

“When this is over,” I whisper, standing on my tiptoes so my lips are against his ear, “you'd better finish what you just started.”

A shadow of a smile crosses his face, and I leave before the fear overwhelms me and I can't stop myself from staying safe within his arms.

 

Two hours later, around 0100, Kelly and I are huffing at the top of House Mountain. We've run almost the entire thirteen miles to the top and have a good lead on the other Worms.

“First recruits to check in,” Lyons says, standing behind a table with water on it.

I grab a paper cup and swallow the water down, trying not to glance at Kelly. A member of the Society up here waiting for us, fallen though he may be, is definitely not a good sign.

“Here are your maps.”

“Cadet Colonel, thank you, Cadet Colonel.” I take mine, my hand barely steady. It makes me sick to call him a rank he hasn't earned.

“Good luck, recruits.” The look on his face makes it clear just how much luck he wishes us.

Once Kelly has his map, we step away. I hand him my map to look at. I aim my headlamp on the paper for him to see, trying not to gasp. The map itself looks normal, but there's a small circle in the bottom right-hand corner, an exact copy of the mark in my KB and the tattoos both Matthews and Evers have: the Pandora Society insignia. Kelly raises his eyebrows and brushes a finger across the inked in mark, but he doesn't mention it. “According to the map Lyons gave you, it looks like you're going south from here for about four miles, then east toward the ridge. Once you wind your way down to the river, it's a straight three miles north back to campus.” He says it not only for my benefit but for the cell phone, too. Back at Tim's house, Jax is probably staring at a map, trying to figure out my course. “You know to check your compass every fifteen minutes.”

I nod, though I can barely breathe. “I know.” I don't want him to leave me alone up here. This is how they're going to do it. They've changed my map. If I draw attention to it, I'll fail the challenge. If I don't go, they'll know I'm onto them. I've got no choice now.

“You're going to be okay, Mac.” He coaxes a small smile out of me, even though he looks just as nervous as I feel.

“Then why does everyone look like this is a funeral?” I want to take the words back as soon as I say them.
I hope they kill you
. I try to push Jonathan's words away. “There are cadets crawling all over these woods. I'm going to be the most watched recruit during this whole mission.” I say it loud, for Lyons's benefit. But he and I both know that it's a lie. They're watching trails the DMA uses every year for the Worm Challenge. Not a new one drawn up by the Society. If Jax can't figure it out from Kelly's description, if something happens to the GPS, I really will be on my own.

Kelly grabs me and pulls me into a hug. “I'm sorry, Mac. For everything. I was stupid.”

“You were.” I squeeze him back, trying to laugh a little. “But you've made it up.” I pull away. Holding my compass up, I check my direction. “See you at the bottom, right? Alpha leads the way.” It's hard to get the words out, but somehow I manage.

He hands me back my map, checks his headlamp and mine, then takes a step back. I slip into the woods before he can say anything else. I'm no good at good-byes.

They've started me out going downhill. My strides lengthen and it's easy to jog at first, even as I jump over logs and curve around boulders. As night slinks around me, though, the clouds move in, blocking the moon and any hope of extra light to help me through this. If I turn my head constantly, my headlamp gives me some idea of the near obstacles, but I can't see anything beyond fifteen feet.

The forest is alive with the sounds of crickets and tree frogs. Cicadas screech their way through the trees, but all the sound does is mask anyone else who might be out here. I don't see another cadet until I come upon my second checkpoint two hours later. It's almost 0300.

I smile at Huff when I get to the table. “Four miles down.”

“Here's some Gatorade,” he says.

I grab the bottle from his hand and he holds his walkie-talkie up to his mouth. “Cadet Huffman, Checkpoint Two-A. Recruit McKenna checking in.”

I chug the drink down, little streams of it eking out the corners of my mouth, as Huff confirms my status and that I'm about to leave. When I'm done, I wipe an arm across my lips. “Thanks.”

He shrugs. “The least I can do. I'll call Drill as soon as you leave and let him know, too. You doing okay?”

“Yeah. No sign of anything.” They're smart, having me check in to make everything appear normal. I wonder when the map they gave me will take me where they want me.

Huff scans the darkness. “You know where you're going?”

I nod, trying to sound more confident than I feel. “Yep. No worries.”

He tries to grin, but even he looks worried now. “Be safe, okay?”

There's a churning in my stomach that's not from the Gatorade, but I nod and check my compass before taking off again at a run. It would have been easy to tell him about the map, but anyone could be hiding in the dark, listening.

The woods are blacker this way, deeper somehow. My thighs burn from the uphill turn my path takes and it's not long before I have to slow to a walk.

Each step seems to take more energy now. I check my compass every fifteen minutes to make sure I'm on the Society's preferred trail.

Staying focused and alert for this long in the middle of the night is not easy. I scan the forest for a hint of anything that seems off, but it
all
seems wrong. A branch snaps in the woods and I jump, then stop in my tracks. I flick my light off, giving my eyes a chance to adjust to the dark.

The clouds have lifted a little bit, and somewhere to my left I can hear the waterfall where I think the checkpoint is supposed to be. Wind whispers through the trees. Or my imagination's playing tricks on me.

My heart gallops and I try to swallow down my nerves. “Dammit, Sam. Get a grip.”

Dad did things like this all the time as a Ranger. Amos did it, too. Every cadet who's gone through the DMA has completed the Worm Challenge. There are hundreds of years of tradition that say I'll make it.

Then again, there's the Pandora Society. As old as the DMA itself. And they'll do anything to keep me from surviving.

The whisper comes again, this time closer and to my right. I take a step back and crouch down at the base of a boulder. Shadows move as a cloud streaks across the moon.

Then the atmosphere changes—it's thick with anticipation. When something clamps on to my ankle, I can't do anything but scream.

FORTY-ONE

“EVERS, SHUT HER UP,” MATTHEWS GROWLS IN THE DARKNESS.
I'm about to yell out again when the hand leaves my foot and clamps over my mouth. I bite down as hard as I can.

“Ouch! You stupid bitch.” Evers grabs his hand away, balls it into a fist, and rams it into my stomach.

I double over in pain, gasping and trying to suck in air. He grabs my hair and jerks my head back. Then I see Matthews standing just inches from me. I refuse to let them see me scared. I imagine they're Jonathan and Amos, playing a trick on me, and answer how I'd answer one of them. “This is your master plan?” Evers's eyes shine in the darkness but I force my voice to sound strong and sure. “Lure me off into the woods? Kidnapping and ransom? Not the best ways to regain favor in the Society, I don't think.”

“Just wait, McKenna. You'll see how I plan to get my position back.” There's no joking, no sneering now as Evers talks. This is his last chance.
I'm
his last chance.

“So, what? The Pandora Society isn't going to let me finish the Worm Challenge? You couldn't get me to quit so you sabotage the one thing left that will prove I'm as good as you?”

“I said shut her up, Evers,” Matthews growls.

Evers punches me in the stomach again, the wind blowing out of my lungs. Black spots form in front of my eyes before I can finally suck in air.

“The box was opened,” Matthews says, his voice strange and hollow, sounding now like he's reciting lines in a play. He moves toward the waterfall.

Evers gives me a shove, pushing me after Matthews, and then speaks. “The box was opened. And within, all evil things were set loose upon the world.” Water rages over the edge of the falls and thunders to the river below; no one will be able to hear us at all soon.

“But the most powerful item of all remained. Hope,” Matthews says, the leader of this weird chorus.

“Hope that the future does not have to repeat the past.”

“Hope that what is in the world can be made pure again,” Matthews replies. “The box was opened. But hope will see it closed again.”

“Hope will see it closed,” Evers repeats.

I try to laugh through the fear. “Is that it? You're going to chant at me and leave me by a waterfall until morning?” A breeze rushes through the trees, their trunks bowing. I wonder if they will hold up to the pressure, or crack under the strain.

Where is Drill? Where are the cadets he said would be watching my every move?

“Not by the waterfall. Under it.” Evers's voice is cold. Hard. He looks to Matthews for assurance.

Matthews just grins. “God, I'm going to love every second of this.”

“You ruined my life, you little slut. I was going to rule the Society next year. All you had to do was quit.” Evers shoves me once more until I can't help but run into Matthews.

“But you made a mockery of this school. Of our traditions. Our values.” Matthews jerks on my arm, pulling me to the edge of the cliff. Water disappears, crashing on the rocks below. “Because you refused to play along, Evers lost his place in the Society. He wants it back now.”

“And you're the one who can give it to him?” My voice shakes.

“Of course I am. I'm the leader of the Society now. I don't want you here any more than any other cadet, but you have elevated me through the ranks more quickly than I could have hoped. For the rest of this year, and the next two years, I'll rule the Society. Rule the school.” Matthews's eyes shine with excitement. “Enough. Evers, you know what you have to do if you want back in.”

“Get into the harness,” Evers says, holding the contraption out in front of me.

“You're kidding, right?” I look into the darkness, but there's no one there. No one's coming.

“Don't you realize you're out of chances?” Matthews growls. “This is it. Now get in.” Evers puts the harness on the ground and Matthews tightens his grip, pushing me forward, my feet stepping into the leg holes.

Evers jerks the nylon fabric up around my legs, pulling much harder than he needs to, to get the fabric situated around my hips. He cinches the straps tight until they're digging into my thighs.

“I still don't get your master plan. Now you're going to, what? Cut off circulation to my legs?” Maybe if I can keep them talking, one of Drill's friends will find me. My eyes scan the darkness again. Still nothing.

“Looking for someone?” Matthews laughs. “Stamm, maybe?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“That's good,” Evers chimes in. “Because no one's coming. We took care of your map a few days ago.”

“And on our way out here, we took care of three cadets, some of Stamm's closest friends, if I'm not mistaken, including Huffman—a friend of yours too, I think.” Matthews laughs. “And just as he was about to make a call to your drill sergeant. Bad timing, I guess.”

It's hard to breathe now, knowing they hurt people because of me. Knowing no one's coming.

Something glints in Evers's hand, shining in the moonlight, and he works it back and forth against a climbing rope.

My teeth start to chatter. “A knife? Come on, Evers. You may be a dick, but you're not evil. You can't kill me.” I try to laugh it off, because the alternative is too terrifying.

“Oh, we're not going to kill you.” Evers picks up a rappelling rope, the knife slicing easily through almost the entire rope. “If you fall, it's just a tragic accident.”

“You've seen the list. You know who's in the Society.” Matthews's mouth is close now, his lips brushing my ear like he's whispering something sweet. “A recruit dying in a training incident? It'll be easy to cover up. No one will look twice. They'll just say girls weren't cut out to be at the DMA anyway.”

I try to shrink away from the truth but the hands are too tight, holding me still.

Evers jerks on the waistband of my camo pants, pulling me closer to him. He presses the knife against my thigh, between the harness and my leg, making a jerking motion. The nylon gives way, leaving only one leg strap fully functioning.