Rites of Passage (17 page)

I slip out onto the wall right as Matthews is making his way on deck.

“Good to see you decided to join us, McKenna.” It's all I can do to keep from rolling my eyes. “You remember the drill. You'll miss formation and head straight up to the admin building to get inspected. If you don't win, the smoke show when everyone returns Sunday night will be in your honor.” He takes a step to the left and inspects Bekah for what I think is definitely too long a time, his eyes roaming down, then up, then lower again.

So. Gross. She needs to say something to Drill about that. That could give a whole new meaning to jumping the chain of command.

But I'll keep those thoughts to myself. He hasn't actually done anything that I've
seen
and the red blush on Bekah's cheeks hopefully means she's embarrassed, rather than enjoying the personal inspection a bit more than she should be
.

“So, go!” Matthews's voice makes me jump and it takes me a second to realize he's actually talking to me. His eyes are focused somewhere near Bekah's name tag.

“Corporal Matthews, yes, Corporal Matthews!” I turn and run before I get yelled at again.

The recruits from the other companies are already lined up and I'm breathing heavy when I make it to my place in line for inspection. I hate this part of Corps life—where what I do can negatively impact my company.

“Good morning, Recruit McKenna.”

“Sir, good morning, sir!” I yell into my brother's face.

He winces and his eyes are red. Late night for the colonel, it looks like. I wonder if his responsibilities are getting to be too much for him. “Recite the honor code, recruit.”

“Sir, a cadet of Denmark Military Academy will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do, sir!”

He nods, a sharp, crisp movement, but his heart is not in it. He used to love torturing me at home. What's going on? “Very good. Now, let me see your KB.”

I pull Kelly's KB out of my back pocket and hand it to him. He flips it open and studies the inside front cover for a long moment and the recruit next to me shifts uncomfortably. I try not to freak out.

“Recruit McKenna.” He sighs my name, like he's our father, disappointed in me for some trouble I've caused.

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“This isn't your Knowledge Book, correct?” He knows it's not.

I try to give him a look that says I want to kill him, but his eyes are still on the inside front cover. Why won't he look at me? I swallow around the sudden lump in my throat. “Sir, no, sir.”

“You do understand that a recruit is required to carry their KB with them at all times?”

What the hell are you doing, Jonathan?
“Sir, yes, sir.” My voice comes out shaky and I force myself not to react. I can't show him he's freaking me out. The recruit next to me snickers.

“Then it appears you've broken a cardinal rule of recruitdom.”

I blink several times, my heart thundering. I don't know how to respond to this.

“You'll have to do tours to make up for it. Ten should suffice. Tomorrow and Sunday. Understood? And,” he says, pulling another KB from his pocket, one I recognize. How the hell did he get it? “Keep a better hand on your original Knowledge Book, understood?”

This weekend, even if Mom can't come, is supposed to be the first weekend I'll be able to really relax since the beginning of the year. Thanks to Jonathan, though, that's gone. Marching all weekend with a rifle is going to be anything but the time away from this place that I need.

I reach out and take my old KB, sliding it into my back pocket with the other one. “Sir, yes, sir,” I say through clenched teeth, forcing myself to look straight ahead and not at him.

“Good. Now,” he says, stepping to my right and looking at the recruit next to me. “Bravo Company. Recruit Mills. Very squared away,” he says, actually sounding impressed.

As soon as we're released, I bolt from the building. I don't even care about the smoke show I've just caused my company. Matthews gave him my KB right now for a reason. Maybe he doesn't know Mom isn't coming? Or is there another reason? Something the Society is planning?

By the mess hall, Alpha Company is lined up and waiting for me to head in to breakfast. I double-time it and fall in next to Kelly, whose eyes are straight ahead, scanning lines in a Knowledge Book he magicked from some upperclassman.

“About time, McKenna!” Matthews yells. I'm sure even the squirrels behind the barracks jump to attention. “So? Did you win?” The sneer on his face tells me very well that he knows the answer to that, but he's not going to let it go.

I meet his eyes. “Corporal Matthews, no, Corporal Matthews.”

“What was wrong with you this time?”

“Corporal Matthews, there was a problem with this recruit's KB, Corporal Matthews.”

“Got that squared away, have you? Then get it out!”

I feel the weight of the extra book in my back pocket. When I get my original book out, I flip to the first page. But where I should be getting a brief history of the DMA, a giant X is drawn in black Sharpie, thick and bold, covering all but a few words and making the page unreadable.

“In order to read, your eyes have to be moving, McKenna.”

“Corporal Matthews, yes, Corporal Matthews.”

“Then get reading!”

I flip the page, but the same thing is on the next page, and the next one after that. On every page of the KB I'm forced to carry around, an X blocks the words underneath. It's useless.
What the hell?
Jonathan had to have known it was like that when he gave it to me.

My breaths come in shallow gasps and the world tilts at an angle around me. Kelly glances my way, breaking his attention stance, and it's almost enough to undo me.

Matthews glares at me for a second longer before shaking his head. “You disgust me, McKenna.”

“Corporal Matthews,” Drill says, stepping into my line of sight.

Just great, Sam. Let Drill see how weak you are—how you can't even stand up for yourself against Matthews.

“Yes, Drill Sergeant?”

“Send the company in for breakfast.”

I want to close my eyes and melt into the ground. As if being chewed out by Matthews and disappointing Jonathan weren't enough shitty things to happen before eight o'clock in the morning. Now Drill thinks he needs to swoop in and rescue me. My cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Yes, Drill Sergeant. Alpha Company, dismissed!”

I don't even hesitate, but break into a sprint to get out of the line of sight of anyone who has permission to yell at me.

 

Kelly's waiting for me after second block, his wool uniform jacket zipped up against the cold. He nods toward the chapel and I follow, waiting until we're inside before talking. The last thing I need is another reason to get the company in trouble today. “What's up?”

“I just wanted to see how you are.” He steps toward me, then catches himself and moves back. “Sorry. I forgot.”

“It's okay.” I reach into my pocket. “Guess we're in for another smoke show Sunday night. Here's your KB.”

He tucks it away. “They would have found a reason to give us one anyway. Don't sweat it.”

“Easy for you to say,” I grumble. Sitting down in a pew, I pat the cushion beside me. “I haven't had a chance to ask you my question since we left the library so fast the other night.”

“Okay,” he says, leaning back against the pew. “Shoot.”

“Tell me about that girl who came to the movie looking for you.” If I'm going to meet up with her and let her help me, I need to know who I'm dealing with.

“Who, Jax?”

I nod. “Yeah. She seemed to know you pretty well.”

“We're best friends. Have been for years. We tried dating last year but it didn't really work. Guess I have a thing for girls who don't like me.” He nudges me. “She's not really military-geared and she doesn't understand why I'm here.”

“Isn't that the story of our lives?”

“I guess so,” he says, then smiles. “Maybe I'll invite her to one of the dances. When she sees me in my dress blues, there's no way she'll be able to turn me down. Not like I'm going to take you or anything. You're my recruit sister. It's kinda gross if you think about it.” He laughs, the sound filling the chapel and making me smile for once today.

“You calling me gross? That's rude!” I punch him lightly in the arm.

He glances at his watch. “Thinking of you as gross is helping to heal my broken heart.”

“See? Rude! Get out of here. I'm fine and you've got an algebra test to study for. See you later, okay?”

He laughs. “I'm going, I'm going. See you.”

I watch him leave, then shut the chapel door, leaning back against the solid wood.

“Recruit McKenna, it's nice to see you.” Rev steps out of his office and comes toward me. “Are you excited to see your mother this afternoon?”

I shake my head. “I don't get to see her.”

“She's not coming?”

I barely have the energy to shake my head. “It doesn't matter.” I brush at tears suddenly hovering, threatening to fall. “Even if she did come, I wouldn't be able to do it. Jonathan gave me tours this weekend.”

His eyes go wide.

“Over the KB. Remember I told you Matthews would use it when it would hurt me the most? Well, Jonathan called me out during Commandant's Inspection and gave me tours.”

His walrus mustache is working overtime as he gazes at the wall.

“Not only that, but
someone
completely ruined it.”

“Ruined it? What do you mean?”

I pull it out of my back pocket and hold it out for him. “See for yourself.”

He flips through, and I get a whiff of Sharpie even now. My jaw tenses and I have to force myself to relax. “Jonathan did this?”

“I don't think so.” I brush at my eyes, annoyed that the tears are still falling. “I think it was Matthews.”

He doesn't disagree with me and I'm not sure if that makes me happy or worried. “After the parade today, when everyone leaves campus, will you bring this to me?”

“Why?”

“I'd just like to take the time to look at it a little further. If you think Matthews had a hand in this, it could be . . . interesting.”

“Please don't say anything, Rev. The last thing I need is for him to think I'm ratting him out.”

He opens the book again, looking at the last page and nodding, like he knew what he expected to see. “I won't tell anyone your suspicions, but I'm going to need to see this again.”

“Please . . .”

“It's not even about the DMA right now. Your father would have my head if I didn't look out for you like I promised. You know how hard it is to fail your father, don't you?”

“Fine,” I say, after waiting a second to make sure my voice is steady. “This afternoon.”

SEVENTEEN

AFTER THE LONGEST DAY OF CLASSES I'VE HAD HERE,
freedom is just a parade away. Bagpipes whine and scream before they kick into gear, playing the song that we'll march onto the PG to for the Parents' Weekend parade. The sun beats down and in my dress uniform—our blues—I'm already sweating despite the late October breeze. I glance nervously at Kelly next to me.

“You okay?”

I nod slightly, but I'm not and his look tells me he knows it. Katie's parents took her home last night to go to the doctor and I don't know if she's even coming back. And Bekah got approved for some extra leave—Matthews came and told her at lunch. She's already gone.

So, it's left to me to be the one on display, the only girl marching in the Parents' Weekend parade. All those parents out there, the alumni of the DMA, and the commandant will be focused on me. I'm nervous as hell.

“Remember, Alpha Company. No one locks their knees. This is our first major parade and inspection. Recruits will be passing out left and right. None of them will be you. Do you understand?”

“Drill Sergeant Stamm, yes, Drill Sergeant Stamm!”

“Then, let's go!”

“Alpha leads the way!”

When he gives the cue to march, we each step off with our left foot. We've been practicing for this since we started training, going so far as to have a Corps parade every Friday, but it still doesn't prepare us for the crowd surrounding the PG. The cheers go up as soon as we step onto the grass and even with my eyes straight ahead I can see flashes from cameras on all sides.

I grit my teeth and bite the inside of my lip, a slight scowl rounding out my military bearing. We're like a well-oiled machine and I know we look the best we ever have. The energy helps us to sharpen our motions. Up on the PG, we make our slow march around. The whole Corps is on display today. It's the only parade all year that the recruits are in the front. Normally, we're in the back—out of sight, out of mind.

“There she is!” someone yells from a crowd of civilians to my right.

“Get her out of here! Old Corps! Old Corps!” Another person shouts support for the single-gendered Corps of last year.

We turn left at the far end of the PG and march back toward our barracks, the hisses coming from this side as well. A man up ahead takes a step forward, close to the parade route. “Get out of here, McKenna. The Society will make you sorry if you don't go!”

The words pull at my focus and I stumble on the grass. “Ignore it,” Kelly hisses, but my confidence is shaken.

I try to find the man who yelled, but he's gone, blending in with the crowd here to watch the Corps strut its stuff. The Society, though. It's what Matthews keeps saying.

“Alpha Company—halt!” Drill says when we are marching in place. “Parade rest!”

I take a step to the side, spreading my legs a bit and snapping one arm behind my back while the other holds my rifle out in front of me just a bit, the butt of it resting against my foot.