Risk (Gentry Boys #2) (26 page)

“You think you’ll ever see her again, Tru?” She shook her head.  “Never mind.  She’d just hang up on you if you called.” 

“She didn’t hang up,” I said quietly. 

Aggie looked at me in surprise. 

I swallowed and explained.  “I got her number from Carrie.  I called her yesterday morning.”  I tried to remember every word of that brief conversation with the woman who’d birthed me, raised me, and then dismissed me.  “I wouldn’t say it was a heartfelt mother daughter chat and I suspect we won’t be talking again.  But she did tell me that she hoped I would always have more pretty days than ugly ones.” 

Aggie closed her eyes.  “Laura always did care too damn much about being pretty.” 

“I don’t think she meant it like that.  I think it was Laura Lee’s way of saying that she cared on some level.  I’m sorry, Aggie.”  A tear fell down my cheek.  “I’m sorry I left and didn’t look back.  I was lost, little sister.  I didn’t know how I would take care of myself, let alone the child inside of me.” 

Aggie let out a gasp.  She put her hand over her mouth.  As I kept talking my sister’s eyes filled with tears.  I told her everything. 

“I knew it was a girl even though they said they couldn’t tell.  For a while I thought I could start over and give her all the things I never had.  It wasn’t until the labor pains hit and I looked around at the shabby single room I was living in.  It was dirty and people screamed outside every night.  I realized I couldn’t give her anything but more of the same life I’d always known.  It was a tough labor and they wound up having to cut her out of my belly.  I never held her, Aggie.  I never wanted to.  Not because I had no love for her, but because I knew it was the best thing I could do.  So I signed where they told me to sign and then three days later I left that hospital alone.  I couldn’t be Laura Lee.  I knew if I tried to keep her then I would be.” 

Aggie wiped her eyes and was quiet.  Several minutes passed and then she looked me in the eye.  “You listen to me, Truly.  You could
never
be Laura.  You hear that?  You believe it?  Never.”  She hung her head.  “Dammit, I wish you’d told me.”

“I know.  But I’m telling you now.” 

“I was always so wrapped up in thinking about how hard it was for
me
, picking Laura up off the floor, trying to be there for Mia and Carrie.  I was mad at you, Truly.  I had no right to be mad at you.  You were surviving the best you could.”  Her voice cracked.  “I’m sorry.”

“So am I, Aggie.  So am I.”

She sighed and laced her arm firmly through mine.  “Promise we won’t lose each other again?”

“I promise.  Love you, Augusta.”

“Love you too, Tallulah.”

After that, Aggie wanted to hear about Creed and I wanted to hear about Eric.  We didn’t quite pick up where we’d left off four years ago.   It would take time to overcome the shyness of our long separation. We also had to adjust to the people we’d become in the meantime.  I desperately hoped that one day I would somehow be with all three of my sisters again. 

When Eric and Creed returned it seemed like they’d gotten along just fine.  Creed had opted for the passenger seat this time and as he climbed out he was grumbling. 

“I’m still itchy as shit.” 

Eric laughed.  “I warned you not to sit on that hay.” 

“Well let’s have a round of applause for Mr. I Told You So.” 

“You guys are cute,” I teased them. 

Eric smiled broadly.  “I’m cuter.  Just look at him.  He’s got a messed up face and a gimpy leg.” 

“Stop it,” Aggie laughed. 

Eric pulled her playfully up from the curb.  “Keep telling me what to do, darlin’.  I like it.” 

Aggie and Eric showed us around Stillwater for a little while.  I would have liked to stay for much longer but we needed to get back to Tempe.  Creed wanted to make sure Chase was all right and I needed to get back to work. 

Before we left I hugged my sister for a long time. We vowed to see each other soon and to talk at least once a week.  Then I left her with Eric and allowed Creed to lead me back to my car. 

I stretched up to kiss him.  “Let’s go home.”

“Of course,” he grinned. 

I was tired.  I was happy.  And this time I didn’t argue with Creedence when he insisted on driving.

CREED

I wanted to drive straight through but Truly begged me to stop in Albuquerque again.  When I climbed out of her car, my knee was stiff as hell and she heard my grunt of pain. 

Truly put her hands on her hips and scolded me.  “That’s it, tough guy.  You’re off that leg for the night.  I’ll draw you a bath so you can soak it.” 

I felt a little ridiculous when she ordered me into the tub.  Once I got in the warm water though my body was grateful.  My muscles relaxed and the throbbing in my leg subsided.  Truly knelt by the side of the tub and examined my swollen knee. 

“Hey,” I tugged at her shirt.  “If I have to be naked then you have to be naked.  It’s only fair.” 

“And I do care about being fair,” she drawled as she pulled her clothes off.  She looked down at my body and it seemed like she was trying not to smile.  “You’re supposed to be relaxing.” 

I pointed at my dick.  “I can’t do a thing about him. He’s got a mind of his own.” 

She laughed and then leaned over to jerk me off with her hand.  Later, when we were in bed together and listening to a rumbling thunderstorm pass overhead she asked me what I was thinking.

I’d been thinking about people.  It had always looked to me like everyone else walked alone except for the three us Gentry boys. My brothers and I were lucky enough to have each other in a world full of sad, lost souls.  I didn’t see how I could have made it without Chasyn and Cordero.  But there was more to life than brotherhood.  I’d seen it first when Cord found Saylor.  And now I had it for myself. I hoped Chase would someday find it too.  If anyone ever needed a woman’s love it was him. Our fates would always be bound up together.  But there was more than just the three of us now.  I hugged Truly to my side and answered her. 

“I was thinking that I had always kind of figured I would be on the outside forever.  That the things which came so easy to almost everyone else weren’t meant to be mine so it was better if I never wanted them in the first place.” 

She kissed my neck.  “Like this?  Us?”

“Yeah,” I said.  “Like this.  You know that Eric dude is pretty cool.  We got to talking about women and about life.  I told him what I just said to you, about being on the outside.  He laughed and said, ‘The world is exactly how you decide to see it, Creed.  Take it from a black cowboy in the middle of Oklahoma.’  Then he ate the rest of my French fries.” 

Truly sat up suddenly.  She straddled me and grabbed my arms, pinning them on either side of my head.  I let her. 

“Yield to no one,” she challenged me in the darkness. 

“I’ll yield to you, baby,” I told her.  She let go of my arms but continued to sit upright, watching me. 

I touched the spot on her shoulder where she’d gotten a tattoo from Cord. 

“She just turned four,” Truly said softly.  She sighed.  “I hope someday when she finds out her mother gave her away that she understands why.  I hope she forgives me.” 

I sat up and took her face in my hands.  “Forgive yourself first.” 

“I do,” she nodded.  “I think I do.”  She tilted her head.  “Creed, I never expected any of this.  I thought I knew what kind of man you were.  It didn’t take me long to realize I’d been wrong.  I’m glad I was wrong.  I’m mad about you.  Do you know that?”

I smiled.  “I have my suspicions.” I pulled her to me, hungry to be closer.  “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to show me again though.” 

“Do something for me first.”

“Anything.  Just ask.” 

“Sing?”

I sat up and held her to my chest, the way I had the first time I sang to her.  I preferred to sing with my guitar but I had no problem adapting.  Cord and Chase always teased me about sticking to what they called ‘old music’ but it was what always seemed to pop into my head first.   Truly sighed with contentment as I launched right into an old ballad from the seventies called ‘
The Air That I Breathe’
.  When I finished we made love quietly and then fell asleep together. 

In the morning we left Albuquerque early.  It had been nice, seeing something other than the Arizona desert.  I was eager to get home though.   I had talked to Cord briefly and he said Chase was struggling a little as his body adjusted to getting clean of pills.  The folks at the substance abuse center had been great so far and Cord was optimistic that our brother would follow through.  Still, I’d feel better if I could keep an eye on Chase myself. 

As we crossed back into Arizona I remembered something Chase had said.  Truly looked over at me when I cleared my throat.  “Want to hear something wacky?  Chase believes your roommate has a thing for him.” 

To my surprise, Truly didn’t just laugh it off.  She played with her hair and smiled mysteriously.  “He might be right.”

“No way.  She tell you that?”

Truly laughed.  “Are you kidding?  Stephanie doesn’t work that way.  I’d say if she’s not telling him to piss up a flagpole then he’s already way ahead of the game.”

“Hmm,” I grunted.  “Doesn’t seem like a good pairing if you ask me.  They’ve got nothing in common.”

“So?” she teased.  “Wouldn’t everyone have said the same thing about us?”

“Maybe,” I reasoned, still having a tough time picturing Stephanie doing anything to Chase other than kicking him in the nuts. 

As we got closer to the valley I started getting ridiculously pleased to see the familiar landmarks.  In the distance loomed the shadow of Camelback Mountain and as we made our way into Tempe there was the cheerful face of Sun Devil Stadium. 

“We should plan another trip soon,” I said.  “There are a lot of places I’d like to see with you.”

“You name it,” Truly said, “and I’ll be at your side.” 

She kept staring at me.  She’d look over, act like she was about to say something, and then quickly look away. 

“Spit it out, girl.”

Truly pursed her lips.  “Saylor and the boys think you should try and do something with your singing.” 

I knew where this was going.  “I’ve heard that one before.” 

“Not from me you haven’t.  Don’t you scowl and roll your eyes, Mr. Gentry.  I can see you quite clearly.  You’ve got a gift, Creed.”

I turned into the entrance to my apartment complex.  Truly put her hand on my arm. 

“Just think about it,” she said softly.  “Please.”

“I will,” I said, parking in front of my apartment.  “Want to come inside and take a long nap with me?”

She smiled.  “I should go home and make sure Steph remembered to feed my cat.” 

“What do you want to do later?”

Truly raised an eyebrow.  “Are you inviting me to do
you
?”

“Is that an option?”

“Always.  More like a demand actually.”

I pulled her close and kissed her.  “I want to take you out,” I said.  “Dinner and a movie.  Just like regular people.” 

“Regular people,” she muttered.  Then she clapped her hands and started laughing loudly.  “We’re all regular and shit.” 

I didn’t get why she found it so funny but I laughed along anyway because I was happy to have made her happy. 

“Wear one of your dresses,” I told her. “I’ll pick you up at six.” 

She checked her watch.  “Six pm never seemed so fucking far away.” 

I shook my head with a smile, remembering when I’d said something like that to her.  This girl had a knack for remembering every damn word out of my mouth.  “I might drop by sooner.”

“You should,” she said, moving over to the driver’s side as I climbed out.  “But don’t think you’re walking away without kissing me first. I’ve just made up that rule.  Creedence, you are
never
allowed to walk away without kissing me.”  Her dark eyes twinkled.  “Or else you risk my wrath.” 

“And I certainly wouldn’t want to risk that,” I said, moving in. 

I reached through the window and put my hand on the back of her neck, my fingers tangling in her dark hair.  I kissed her hard and deep.  I always would. 

Truly

“Fuck the salt shakers,” growled Cord with exasperation.  His hand was on the door and he was on the verge of pushing us through it.  “We’ve only got fifteen minutes now.” 

“Salt is bad for your health anyway,” I reasoned and gave up, quickly delivering them to empty tables while Saylor ran to the back to grab our purses.   

I shook my hair free of the ponytail, ignoring Julie’s glare as she and Griffin lurked behind the bar.  She still considered it a personal affront that I’d taken some time off last month.   All of her absurd glowering was supposed to remind me how she’d had to pick up my slack while I was gone. 

Saylor returned and she was beaming.  It was her last week of work at Cluck This.  Cord had quite a few regular customers at the tattoo place and was making good money.  Even though Saylor was still only in her first trimester he didn’t want his pregnant bride-to-be wearing herself out delivering fried chicken. 

“I’m nervous,” she confided, squeezing my arm.  “Are you nervous?”

“A little,” I admitted. 

Ed actually came out of his office and waved at Cord before nodding to me.  “So this is the big night?”

“It is,” I said as a thrill rolled through me.

My boss nodded and smiled.  “Get out of there then, both of you.  Good luck.” 

Saylor was practically giddy as we exited and started walking down the street.  Cord seemed amused by her constant excitement.  I didn’t blame her for being excited; we’d been working on her wedding plans every spare minute.  In two weeks we were all flying to Las Vegas to watch Saylor McCann become Saylor Gentry.  

Cord hugged her and rested his hand lightly on her belly for a moment.  She smiled up at him as they shared a special moment just being happy about what they had created. I stayed back a few paces, admiring the two of them.  My friends, both of them, deserved every moment of happiness. 

“Truly,” Saylor called, turning around.  “Come on, walk faster.  We can’t miss him!” 

“We won’t,” I said confidently, although I did quicken my pace.  “Believe me, the hounds of hell couldn’t keep me from this.” 

The Hole was always packed.  It was especially bad on Thursday nights when there was live music.  I craned my neck to get a glimpse of the tiny soundstage beyond the bar.  Brayden and Millie found us in the mob and we all waited together.  I checked my watch.  It was nearly ten thirty. 

Cord had his hands on Saylor’s shoulders.  They were both squinting through the milling crowd. 

“Do you see him?” I yelled. 

Saylor shook her head. 

When an arm grabbed my neck in a sudden hug I nearly committed assault and battery, figuring some drunken fool was trying to feel me up.

“Chase!” I scolded. 

He laughed.  “I thought you were going to smack me.” 

“You sound disappointed.” 

“Maybe.”  Chase shrugged, his blue eyes merry. It had been a rough few weeks for him while he got clean.   It seemed he’d grown quieter lately, more serious, as he tried to get his life on track.  Most nights he was either working security at the school or reading on the couch.  Creed had scoffed the other night when I wondered aloud if Chase might be lonely.  

“Believe me,” Creed muttered as he seized me in the darkness, “that boy knows where to find company if he wants it.” 

Indeed, Chase seemed to be searching for company just then.  His gaze shifted around restlessly.  I waved a hand in front of his face. 

“You looking for something special?”

“Can’t be,” he said graciously, grabbing Saylor with one arm and me with the other. “All the special girls are taken.”  He kissed Saylor’s cheek and then mine before releasing us. 

I looked at him sympathetically.  “Sorry I couldn’t talk Stephanie into coming.” 

Chase raised his eyebrows and gave me an altogether naughty look.  “Oh, she’ll come around,” he chuckled.  “They always do.” 

“Boys,” I sighed, rolling my eyes.  Then I stiffened as the music stopped and a man stepped up to the microphone.  He was white-haired with a long handlebar moustache.  He tipped his cowboy hat back and grinned at the young crowd as they whistled and waited for him to speak.

“Folks, tonight we have a local boy making his debut.  Since his voice is a lot more pleasant than mine I won’t go dragging this out.  Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Creed Gentry.”

As Creed stepped in front of the microphone I clasped my hands in front of me so they wouldn’t shake.  When we returned from Oklahoma I was determined to talk Creed into doing something with his natural talent for music.  I figured I would have quite an argument on my hands but something seemed to have lightened inside of Creedence Gentry.  After only a few weeks of collective badgering from me, Cord, Saylor and Chase, he reluctantly agreed to give it a try.

Creed was a little stiff as he took the stage.  He kept his eyes down as he raised the microphone high enough. 

Smile, baby.  Let them see you. 

He plucked a few strings of his guitar and then raised his head.  As he looked out over the audience his expression wasn’t particularly friendly.  In fact he looked as if he was about to dare half the crowd to meet him out in the alley.  I felt Saylor grab my arm anxiously.  Cord glanced over at Chase with a worried look.  If this didn’t go well then Creed would likely just stomp off the stage and forget performing forever.

But then Creed caught sight of all of us standing together.  His face broke into a grin.  When his eyes centered on me his grin widened.  I smiled back, hoping he could read everything I was silently saying. 

I’m here for you.

I believe in you.

I love you.

Creed cleared his throat and spoke carefully into the microphone.  “Hello folks.  I’m damn glad to be here tonight and I hope you enjoy the show.”

Chase leaned over and whispered in my ear.  “He rehearsed this every second you weren’t around.” 

I didn’t understand what he meant until Creed began singing.  It was a song I’d first heard as a child but that wasn’t when it made the biggest impression. ‘
Between the Devil and Me’
was one of Alan Jackson’s greatest hits.  It was about a man struggling to overcome his demons by seeking solace in the arms of the woman he loved. It would always bring back the memory of a night when I took a risk on a guy I barely knew.  When Creed had whispered in my ear that we would dance all night long I had no idea what we were starting.  Neither did he. 

Since The Hole was a country bar, Creed then launched into some Tim McGraw and Garth Brooks songs.  As I listened to him and noticed the appreciative silence of the crowd, I began to relax.  His set only lasted twenty minutes, but as he ended the last note the audience erupted in wild applause.  Cord pumped his fist jubilantly and Chase hooted so loudly he hurt my ears. 

Men and women alike patted Creed on the back as he made his way over to us.  His eyes were focused only on me though.  He absently handed Chase his guitar and picked me up, kissing me urgently before doing anything else. 

“Because of you,” he whispered as he set me back down.  I couldn’t ask him right away what he’d meant by that because Cord and Chase were grabbing him in brotherly bear hugs. 

“I knew you’d be wonderful!” Saylor squealed as she took a turn hugging him. 

Brayden and Millie offered their congratulations and we all moved to the back so we could hear one another a little better.   Creedence held my hand and I watched him as he talked to his brothers and our friends.  I’d never seen him smile so much.

Soon Saylor started yawning and leaned against Cord’s shoulder. 

“You tired, honey?” he asked, brushing a lock of brown hair from her forehead. 

She yawned again.  “Afraid I’ve got no stamina these days.”  She patted her belly.  “It’s hard work growing a human.” 

Cord nodded to Chase.  “Are you staying out tonight?”

Chase looked around.  A few pretty college girls looked back at him.  “Nah,” he shook his head.  “Think I’ll head home with you guys.” 

Millie wanted Brayden to take her out dancing.  

He grimaced, looking very much like his cousin.  “I hate dancing.” 

Millie batted her eyelashes.  “But you love me.” 

Brayden grumbled but relented.  He shook Creed’s hand one more time and escorted his girlfriend out.

Saylor yawned some more and Cord nudged Chase to tell him they needed to get going.  Creed kept his arm around me as we walked out with the boys and Saylor.

“How about you?” he murmured in my ear as we waved goodbye to the others.  “What does Miss Truly Lee want to do?”

I leaned into the warmth of his hard chest.  Being close to him never failed to thrill me. Almost immediately I felt how he responded my touch. 

“A private concert?” I asked, touching the guitar in his hand. 

We ended up driving to Tempe Town Lake again.  A slight autumn chill was in the air as Creed led me over to a bench. 

“You know The Beatles?” he asked, strumming his guitar lightly. 

“Not personally.” 

Creed flashed me a look and I laughed.  “I know The Beatles.” 

“All right.  I’m gonna start and I want you to join in when you know what song it is.” 

“You want me to sing with you?”

“Yes.  I know damn well you know how so don’t try to tell me otherwise.” 

Creed began singing and I immediately realized the name of the song.  He raised his eyebrows at me when I hesitated joining.  Finally at the end of the first stanza I began singing along to the poignant lyrics of
‘Let It Be’
. 

When the last note faded he gave me a heartbreaking Creedence Gentry grin. 

“It is, you know,” he said.  I must have looked confused.  He seemed a little embarrassed as he explained. “It’s because of you.” 

I took his hand.  “What, honey?”

He held me close.  “I never let anyone in before.  I always had the boys but that was it.  I didn’t think I had it in me to really
be
with a woman.  And I sure as hell wasn’t making any plans on getting up on a stage no matter how much the rest of them begged.  You changed my mind about all of it, Truly.”

I smiled.  “You make it sound like I was doing you a favor.”  He was staring at me intently.  I put my hand on his knee, just needing to touch him more.  “Creedence, I couldn’t admit to myself how much I’d given up until you came along. One too many times I’d been a gaping wound and I wasn’t planning on risking that misery again.”  I took a deep breath.  “I love you, Creed.  No, don’t say anything,” I begged, brushing my fingers across his lips when he started to talk. 

He grabbed my hand, slightly irritated.  “You can’t stop me.” Then he took my other hand, holding me in such a way that I couldn’t retreat from him.  His voice was thick with emotion. “You damn well better listen when I tell you this; I love you.” 

I breathed a sigh of pure bliss.  Whoever claimed that words were nothing next to actions never heard the ones ‘I love you’ spoken to them.   Creed loosened his grip on me and I moved closer to him. 

“Then take me home, Creedence.  Take me home and dance with me.” 

He was already pulling me off the bench, eager to oblige.  “All night long, baby.  All night long.”