Rise (War Witch Book 1) (74 page)

"You were there?" he echoed in disbelief. "What were you doing there?"

She shrugged. "I'm not really sure anymore. I thought I was helping my friends, but, now, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have been there."

"You should count yourself lucky just to be alive," he told her.

Chara nodded absently. "So I keep getting told."

Thrown, Nerec nodded a little. "Why don't I fix us something warm to drink? How about that?"

"Sure," she said.

Not sure what to make of her, he headed through a narrow door on the other side of the room, and put some tea on. Poor thing was shell-shocked from the look of her. He felt kind of bad for finding her sexy in that wet cotton shirt. Shaking himself, he focused on what she'd said about losing everyone. Now wasn't the time for flirting.

When he returned a few minutes later, Chara was standing, the towel pooled around her on the floor, holding one of her mystic handguns. He paused, staring at her curiously as she turned it to the fireplace, and pressed the firing rune. The result made the fire billow out, roaring, for a moment, before it settled back.

"I killed so many of them," she said softly as he eyed her in dismay. "I lost track after a bit. I mean, I just completely lost all track. It wasn't like I meant to be counting, but I think some part of me felt I should know how many I killed, you know?"

"I really don't," he said after a moment.

"No,” she sighed, sliding the weapon away. "I don't guess you do. The thing is, I was just trying to stay alive. I wasn't really thinking about much else at first. I just didn't want to die. It was later, when the citadel started firing on the city, that I thought of protecting everyone else. How weird is that?"

Nerec sat the cups down on the mantle. "I think it's pretty normal."

"Is it?" she asked. "I can't tell anymore."

"I think most people would try to save themselves, at least, at first," he replied. "It takes someone special to try and protect others at all. I don't know if that helps, but it's what I think."

Chara gave a bitter laugh. "Look at me, trying to figure it out. Like I'm a hero or something. They're right, I got lucky, nothing more. Gods, I really am just a little girl. A stupid little girl."

Nerec moved to stand in front of her and rested his hands on her arms. "I don't see a little girl at all. If you were there, if you fought, and survived, then you couldn't be. I just see a woman, who is very sad about what happened. That's all I see."

She looked up at him, his crimson eyes, flecked with gold and rust, sad as he regarded her, trying to smile. His skin, the color of smoke, highlighted by the fire, drew her in as she rested her head against his chest. His warmth, as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her, unsure of what else he should do.

She felt empty, and wanted it to stop. He smelled faintly of leather and polish. It was intoxicating as she breathed it in deeply, savoring it. Tilting her head back, she stared up into his eyes for a long moment, finding nothing but kindness.

Chara was as surprised as Nerec when she kissed him. He didn't move at all, the brief contact over almost as soon as it started, Chara jerking back, realizing what she was doing. Biting her lip, she bowed her head.

"I'm sorry," she managed. "I don't know why I did that."

"Forget it," he coughed.

"I think I'm a little messed up right now," she told him with a thin smile.

He shook his head. "Everyone is a little messed up right now. I'm pretty sure the whole city is just trying to come to terms with things, you know?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "Still, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

He gave her a wry smile. "You don't have to apologize. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy it."

Giving a small laugh, she slid her arms up around his neck, pulling herself up to kiss him again. He returned it eagerly, tightening his hold on her. The feel of him, pressed against her, made her dizzy. Guilt knifed through her, and she ignored it. She was empty, and wanted to be filled more than anything.

Pulling herself high, she wrapped a leg around him, their kiss turning hungry as she pressed into him. His hand slid down, grasping her thigh to hold her up as she gave herself over to want.

Wrapped in the smell of him, the feel of him, she didn't care about who she loved, or who she felt guilty over. She didn't care about anything but ending the yawning hole in her heart. She wanted it gone, before it swallowed her whole. He was there, nobody else was, and that was all she could think of.

Tugging herself free, she panted as she fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, tugging it open to run her hands over his smooth chest, savoring the feel. He slid out of the shirt, tossing it aside as he caught her up, kissing her again, passionate and eager. Chara wound her fingers through his hair, wanting him more than anything in that moment.

Pulling back again, she started to unbutton her shirt, but couldn't get her fingers to stop shaking and just pulled it over her head, dropping it in the floor, desperate to taste his lips again. He pulled her against him, hands traveling down to lift her up as she wrapped her legs around him, wanting to lose all sense of herself.

His skin felt like satin against her chest as he set her down, his mouth teasing across her ear, neck and throat as he lowered himself. She gasped at the thrill that passed through her, clutching at him. His fingers, so sure and certain, played over her breasts a moment before his tongue, making her sway on her feet.

She felt the fasteners of her pants being undone and leaned into it as he slid them down, moaning at the kisses he trailed down her thigh. She felt nothing but need, as she kicked her boots and pants away, his wonderful lips tracing back up, nestling between her legs, dragging a cry of pleasure from her.

Rakiss stared in horror as the Deep Elf stood, Chara's hands going for his pants eagerly. Her aura was warping in on itself, twisting from the bubble most people had into a horrid thing he couldn't even describe as guilt warred with need. He had to stop this, before he lost her, and reached out to try and turn her from this course.

The moment his fingers touched her aura, he was shocked, his entire arm going numb as he was pushed back. In pain, he watched cracks form along the contorted seams, rupture, and begin to bleed spiritual energy into the air. He turned away, cradling his arm, as Chara fell.

Pushing his pants down his hips, she felt him, warm and eager, tracing him with her fingers in excitement. His lips danced over hers, short, yearning kisses that drove her mad as she gripped him, stroking slowly, getting a moan from him as a reward.

He cradled her to the floor, nibbling her ear as she wrapped her arms around him, tracing his spine, and welcomed him into her. With painful slowness that felt so wonderful it hurt, he eased inside, nudging thrusts that made her hunger for all of him.

Then he was there, filling her, as she gasped in delight. An arm around her back, other hand massaging her breast, he held himself there, quivering, making her want to cry at how good it felt. When he moved again, it was Heaven.

This is who I really am
, she thought in delight.
This is what I do.

Wrapping him in her legs, she urged him on, soft whimpers begging for more as he moved within her slowly, taking his time with each rock of his hips. She felt herself swaying to his rhythm as he kissed her, filling her slowly, over and again. It was hypnotic, and she spiraled into it with pleasure.

"Please," she whispered.

"No need to rush," he replied, mouth teasing her ear, his warm breath like a drug.

Smiling, she let him do as he wanted, just enjoying the way he felt, the simple movement of him as he drifted into her with such certain movements, it was like a dance. She'd longed for this, to feel someone new, to be taken by arms she'd never felt, filled with someone she'd never experienced.

Because this is who I am
, she thought in a daze.
This is what I do.

He rose above her, hand going to her waist, holding her gently as he moved a little faster. She groaned, wanting more than that, but she'd given herself over to him, and was savoring it. His fingers teased at her stiff nipple, getting a whimper of delight. Her body ached from his touch in wondrous ways, craving more.

She felt like everything was moving away from her as he sank into her ever more desperately. There was nothing but the feel of him, nothing but his moans of pleasure as he took her as his own, her mind drifting away, taking all her pain and sorrow with it.

She was filled. It was the only thought she was capable of as her body twitched, dragging a lust-soaked cry from her as release claimed her, arching her back and sending spasms of pure pleasure through her. Her vision danced as he smiled down at her, slowing again, drawing it out, wanting to make it last as long as possible.

Chara trembled, tightening her legs, begging him not to ease off, to go faster. Her body craved it now, to feel him, strong and powerful in her, and to her joy, he complied. Resting back on his knees, hands on her waist, he thrust harder, rocking her entire body.

Reaching down, she felt him sinking into her and felt a second wave coming to claim her. His eyes were wide over her, watching her breasts as she pressed them together, swaying for him. She was happy to see it, and could think of nothing at that moment that had ever made her feel more fulfilled.

When he reached his end, she did as well, feeling him let go within her, hot and shuddering, his silk-wrapped iron trembling inside her as she gasped just to breath, the sweat on her body sending chills that only made her feel more overwhelmed.

Panting, Nerec leaned over her for a moment, resting inside her as she stroked his face, leaning up to kiss him deeply. He returned it happily, pulling her bare body to his, the feel of her all he needed in that moment. Slowly, he rolled to the side, resting as she stared up at the ceiling with a smile.

"That was great," he said.

Chara felt her smile fade as she came down off the high. Great? Really? Had he actually said that?

"You okay?" he asked, caressing her breast.

"Yup," she smiled. "Doing fine."

He nodded and levered himself up. "I should go clean up a bit. Forgot to lock the shop up. Wouldn't want someone wandering in right now."

"Sure thing," she nodded as he stood and moved back into the other room.

This is what I do
, she thought in horror.
This is who I am.

Grabbing her clothes, she slid into them as fast as she could, not even bothering to lace her boots. What had she done? Why had she done it? What had she been thinking? Had she lost her mind?

Slipping away as quietly as she could, she headed for the front door, berating herself for being an idiot. She wasn't that stupid girl anymore that thought excitement was having a man flirt with her at the tavern in Adel. She was different now.

Wasn't she?

Escaping onto the street, she hurried away, overwhelmed with guilt and remorse. She hadn't changed at all. No matter how much she wished she had, she was still the same person she'd always been. A stupid country girl eager to get fucked so she could feel something.

Stupid whore
, she shouted at herself.
Did you even think before you spread your legs? Did you have to jump the first guy you saw just to deal with it all? What in all the Hells is wrong with me?

Walking blind, she hurried through the rain, trying to get as far from Nerec's shop as she could. Like a fool, she'd done it again, thinking to overwhelm her feelings with sex, as if that ever worked. She knew it didn't, yet still, she kept doing it. Just like she always had, she'd run from her problems, straight into bed with a random stranger.

Not that it had been bad, she mused. Quite the opposite, really. It had been wonderful.

Stop it, stop it, stop it
, she chided herself.
Not the point!
She'd done something stupid. Again! What was she supposed to say to Esteban now? Tell him? Not likely. He'd probably go off and attack Nerec in a fit of jealousy. She didn't care for how overly-possessive he was, but then again, she had to admit she did have a way of making him feel that way.

Didn't she?

Slowing, she considered for a moment that she hadn't ever really done anything, till now, to make him act that way. It wasn't like she'd openly drooled after every good-looking guy she'd seen. Or girl, for that matter. Even when Rayne had openly propositioned her, she'd shut it down quickly, and the Half Elf was definitely good looking.

So, what was the deal? Why did he act so possessive? She'd never liked that in guys before, making her wonder again why she was even with him. It wasn't like she'd ever actually fallen in love with him. Had she? She remembered again that she couldn't recall it happening.

Why was she with him, anyway? For that matter, why was she even feeling bad about what she'd done? He'd walked out on
her
, not the other way around. She could do whatever she wanted. She didn't owe him. Or Ramora, for that matter. All they wanted was to treat her like she was some kind of rare flower that would wilt the first moment anything changed.

Embarrassment turned slowly to anger. She had half a mind to go back and fuck the shit out of that Elf, just to show him she could be the take charge type, too. To the hells with Esteban and Ramora both! She was sick of feeling jealous, guilty, and like she was the one always doing something wrong. She'd fuck all she liked, and they could kiss her ass!

"Wow, just how oversexed am I, anyway?" she muttered a half breath before she ran into a wall.

Staggering back, she looked up to see it hadn't been a wall, but an Ogre, who looked down at her in curiosity. Tipping back the wide-brimmed hat he wore, he offered her a smile.

"I don't think I'm qualified to answer that, Miss, but between us, I'm not overly interested in finding out."

Chara felt her face flush.

Just great. Like her day hadn't been bad enough already.

"You okay there, Miss?" the Ogre asked, cocking his head slightly.