Riding the Wave (9 page)

T
anner was not at all convinced of that. Catharsis was not exactly his deal. His mom had always been on about that, talking about closure and all sorts of other crunchy granola stuff. But he’d had his eyes on the prize, on taking the championship.

And sure as shit, telling her had not been any big letting go. Watching her face crumple had been everything he feared.

Goddamn that Mako. The asshole didn’t have any right to come tromping through and fuck it all to hell and gone. San Sebastian was Tanner’s mother’s world.

Avalon’s fingers tightened on his knee. “You’re kind of wound up, aren’t you? You’re practically twitching.”

“Whoever said I wasn’t?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Your mom’s so laid-back, it’s amazing. I try to be like her.”

He couldn’t help a little snort. “You’ll never be like my mom.” Half of Avalon’s appeal was her vibrant energy. Making her like Eileen would dampen her spark.

“And
you
won’t dodge the question forever, no matter how hard you try.” Slim fingers tapped the top of his
knee in insistent rhythm. Two inches up and they could be under the hem of his board shorts.

“I’ve known since my second year on the ASP.” There, that sounded simple enough. Didn’t quite convey the heart-stopping terror he’d felt when he’d first found out.

Which had never exactly made sense to him. Terror? It wasn’t like he’d been in a two-wave hold-down, feeling his lungs burn for air as the ocean tried to keep him smacked to the sea floor. But it had felt oddly similar. Like having his world shaken upside down.

Like he’d never known the man who’d raised him.

“How did you find out? What happened?” Her voice had softened. Eased. She was being kind to him.

He didn’t like Avalon kind. He liked her sharp and dueling with him. Or naked. That had been damned fine. He could willingly go back to that. The shadows had made her a ghostly goddess, all curves and dips and her nipples in bright relief.

Maybe if he kept that image in his head, this shit would all be easier to deal with.

“Mako happened. I was in Tahiti for the Billabong Pro. He was a little fuck, only fourteen. But he hitchhiked to the staging area for the heats. Waited for me. I came off a damn good run to find him there.”

He trailed off. That easily, he was back there again. Riding high, the sand soft and silky beneath his feet. He’d already dropped his board on the rack, stretching out the worst of the kinks in his back. It had also been the year of his first World Championship and he’d always associated the two together. Made Tanner wonder if that had been part of his problem in never nailing the championship again. He needed the win this time. Needed it with something that verged on craving.

“Tahiti? Your second year?” She looked back toward land. Moonlight glided over the pure line of her shoulders. “I remember that event.”

Who didn’t? He’d fucked up the final heat royally. Despite having gone in on top, he’d barely managed to stand up on a wave. Kind of hard to do when it felt like there’d been no world under his feet anymore. He’d been lucky to take second. But admitting that would be entirely too raw. “Been following my career, have you, Avalon?”

He liked that image. She’d have still been way too young then, probably only fourteen. But he could picture
this
version of Avalon with
Surfer
spread out in front of her. After she finished analyzing all the photos as competition, maybe she’d flip through a second time looking for him.

She shot that down quick enough with a soft laugh. “No. I remember because Kelly Slater kicked your ass in that last heat. I had a crush on Kelly my whole freshman year.”

“Fuck Kelly Slater.”

Her soft chuckle spiraled up into a full-on, head-thrown-back laugh. “Dude, there’s press who’d pay big money to hear you say that.”

“And you’re technically press.”

Her eyes went wide and fixed on him. “Not tonight. I want to make sure you know that. I’m not press tonight.”

Under the water he hooked his foot around her ankle and tugged her closer. The kiss he took leaning out over the water tasted like salt of course, but beneath it was more. Her. Sweetness and earnestness.

“I know.” The words breathed over her lips, and they were so close, his exhalation washed back at him.

She smiled, a soft curve that he wanted to taste again. “What did your dad say?”

“Seriously?” He pulled back until he was sitting firmly over his own board. “I’m kissing you in the middle of the water and you’re thinking about my dad? I think I’m losing my touch.”

“Oh, shut it. You do damned well for yourself and you know it. We need to get this out of the way.” Her fingertips trailed over the inside of his thigh. A deliberate provocation? He couldn’t tell. He liked that about Avalon. There was something about her that kept him on his toes. “So we can move on to other things.”

Her bikini was sexy-small. Barely covered the dip of her pussy, more tease than anything else. “By all means. Let’s move on.”

She snapped her fingers under his nose. “Up here, please? For now?” But she was grinning at him. “Your dad. Did you talk to him?”

Christ, answering her questions was easier when he concentrated on her fuckable little body. “Yeah. I did. He convinced me it was once, an accident practically. Oops, he fell in a local girl. Didn’t ever happen again.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“Now, I’m not.” His heart rate was going up again, like he was that twenty-year-old kid confronting the dad he’d once adored. He swallowed down the memory. “Then, I bought it hook, line and sinker.”

“Until?”

He blinked his gaze back into focus. The tiny red bikini cupped her breasts lovingly. A single drop of water gleamed under a ray of moonlight, then dipped and ran down her cleavage in a slow plunge. He liked watching that drop far more than he liked remembering how
things had gone from crappy to miserable. “Until the next year, when the tour went back to Tahiti. And I couldn’t find Dad in his hotel room one night. I asked around until I finally found his buddy Bondo, who told me where the asshole was.”

“Oh, Tanner, you didn’t.” Her eyes were wide, her mouth a soft O shape in the dark.

“Yup. I went. Tiny little house, with surfboards in the front yard. I banged the door until Dad came out.”

She scrubbed her hand across the back of her neck. The pinch of her mouth and wrinkle over her nose chagrined him. It was bad enough to have to make this trip down memory lane. He didn’t need her pitying him. “Jesus, Tanner.”

“I know.” He made himself shrug. “It was all screaming and this short little woman clinging to Dad’s arm. How much more drama can you get?”

“No, not that.” She pinned him with a look that had way too much sympathy in it for his tastes. “It had to hurt. Finding out like that. I know how much it sucks to have a parent lie to you.”

Her mom had been flighty to the utmost power. It was why his mom had taken Avalon under her wing. If anyone was going to understand that pain, it’d definitely be Avalon.

But that didn’t mean he liked rolling around in it. “I moved on.”

“You’re so full of it. Please do tell me how not talking to your dad for nine years is any sort of moving on.”

“It was better for everyone. Telling something like that . . . Not my damn place. It should have been Dad, if it had to come from anyone.” He spread his hands wide over the board. Latched his muscles into place. “And I
didn’t think I could keep my mouth shut if I looked at him in that house. My house. Every bit of my childhood became a lie.”

Something dark pinched her features. “You don’t think that’s a little melodramatic?”

“Maybe. But that’s what it felt like.”

He didn’t want to think about this, not anymore. After almost a decade spent ignoring it, he was going to get more than he wanted over the next few days. His mom would likely want to go a few rounds, get to the “emotional core” of what he’d told her. Because that was the type of woman she was.

Tanner rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth. There’d be enough time for that sort of flaying-open tomorrow. Now he wanted something easier to understand.

And beyond everything, the connection that he and Avalon had on the physical level made sense to him. He’d never had a more responsive woman in his arms. Their moment in his old bedroom, in the middle of the party, hadn’t been long but it had been perfect. Exactly what he needed to know how good it would be between them.

“Is that enough for tonight?” He looked back at her.

The dark pools of her eyes glimmered in the moonlight. He had the feeling that, despite the numerous times he’d looked off to the horizon, she’d watched him the whole time. The small rush he got off that was exhilarating.

His sister would have his head if she knew what he was thinking about doing to Avalon.

Good thing she wasn’t anywhere around.

“Enough?”

“Questions. Laying me open. I’m going to get plenty tomorrow from everyone else.”

“One more.” She trailed her fingertips through the water, leaving a shimmering wake in her path. “Did you try to talk to him? Mako? Before he went to the press?”

The smile that lifted Tanner’s mouth didn’t feel that comfortable. Mostly hard anger. “Yeah. I’ve tried talking to him. Obviously it didn’t work.”

“It’s got to be hard to look at you. Know you were the one who Hank raised.”

“Avalon?”

“Hmm?”

He moved close enough that he could wrap his hand around her elbow. Tugged her even closer. Their knees bumped, then their thighs as their boards came into alignment. He stroked the very tips of his fingers over her jaw.

Her shoulders worked over a shudder and her eyes drifted shut.

Leaning close meant feeling the heat coming off her in waves. He let his mouth hover over the shell of her ear. “He’s dug himself a big enough hole that I’m done with him. For good. I don’t give a flying shit how he feels.”

Her eyes snapped open. The melting near-curve of her spine jerked upright. “Tanner Wright. That’s mean.”

“It’s the truth.” The fingertips he grazed over her jaw became a stronger stroke. More take than touch. The back of her neck was delicate as he gripped it. “Want to know what else is the truth?”

Her slender neck thickened infinitesimally with a swallow. But she didn’t pull away. If anything, she leaned nearer, into his grip. “What’s that?”

“I want to kiss you.”

The vision of her body had been floating at the back
of his mind. How she’d looked, the way the moonlight had skimmed over her curves. The slightly nervous, but mostly defiant way her chin had risen so that she looked at him through the screen of her lashes. Together, incredibly tempting.

Her mouth tasted as good as he remembered. All cool hesitation and a splash of salt. His own heady margarita.

For the first seconds, her mouth was slack under his. He thought for a moment he’d pushed too hard, tried to take too much. She’d pull back and realize any sort of involvement with him was a mistake.

But then she flashed to life with a gasp. Her lips sipped at his. Her tongue moved first, slicking along his bottom lip.

Tanner let his eyes close. She felt like safe harbor. He could come to shore with her and they’d stay away from the world.

He’d have enough fresh hell over the next few days. He’d already put enough behind him too. For now, all he needed was something good to sink into.

And the tastes of her mouth he’d stolen convinced him exactly how good she’d be.

One hand wound around the back of his neck, diving into his hair. But that wasn’t enough for Avalon. Her fingers wound through the strands and tugged. Hard. That fast, he was rock hard, despite the cold water that occasionally sloshed over his ass.

There was nothing but Avalon.

For now, Avalon was more than enough. She was the whole ocean wrapped up into one rushing, sweeping feeling. He’d let it take him, even as he took Avalon.

A
valon couldn’t remember the last time she’d been kissed like this. Even their kiss earlier, in his old bedroom, didn’t compete with this . . . this . . . dude. Avalon could hardly even put words to it. Full-on melding? Absolute connection?

For all that she’d thought she’d build a life with Matthew, his kisses had felt perfunctory, like he’d been doing what needed to be done. Tanner kissed her as if he couldn’t get enough. As if he didn’t have anywhere else in the world to be. As if even getting her into bed was a much lower priority than simply kissing the hell out of her.

It almost seemed like he wanted to use her as an escape hatch. A way out of his own head.

She probably should be offended.

But holy damn, when the result was being kissed hard enough to make her toes curl, why the hell would she care?

His hair verged on short around his neck and ears, but that didn’t prevent her from getting a good grip at his crown. She didn’t want him going anywhere, not when he was making such lovely silent promises.

Their knees bumped and she had to pull harder to keep him from floating away. The grip his fingers burned into her waist was no less hard. Almost desperate.

Their mouths came apart with a quiet gasp.

Avalon licked her lips. She felt like she could still taste him, but that didn’t make much sense. That salt was every bit as much the sea; not him.

She felt marked anyhow. Like her lips were slightly swollen. The tingle under her skin burned higher.

“We should head in.” Her voice sounded slightly unsteady, which only made sense.

“You make that sound so normal.”

He had beautiful eyes. She’d never tell him, never use that word, because he’d likely blow her off in that guy kind of way. But even with their blue color obscured in the dark, the shape of them left her breathless. The way his gaze bore into her. She thought she might be able to live off that connection.

He cocked his head, casting his voice into a light parody of cheeriness. “No big. We’re done on the water, so it’s time to head in.”

“How should I have said it?”

His mouth opened but only for a moment. His heavy-lidded eyes flashed a bit of sly humor at her. “No. I think we’ll leave that one be. C’mon.”

With that, he led the way back to shore. Since the waves were so tiny, they didn’t bother surfing in. Once their feet touched the hard-packed sand below the tide line, they linked hands. Their fingers twined together even though neither of them breathed a word.

Avalon drank in Tanner’s proximity, his heavy strength and solid warmth. Anyone caught within his shadow would be protected, even if things went too far. The
difference between protecting and sheltering seemed to be escaping Tanner.

Her fingers cinched his. They walked along in silence as if breathing the same existence. It was almost too easy, and Avalon couldn’t trust it, at least not for long. She could already feel the sand rushing between her fingers, the hourglass running out.

That was fine. The feeling of impermanence had become a blessing in her life. She’d learned that it heralded the beginning of a wonderful time, excitement. There was no point in not grabbing on with both hands if the moment wasn’t going to last. She might as well take what she could.

At the back door of Tanner’s rental house, she waited patiently as he unlocked the door, letting the tail of her board droop toward the wooden deck. If they had been closer, she would have nestled up behind him and licked that spot at the tip of his spine that drew her attention so well. He’d left a light burning over the blue-painted door. The twitch and play of his shoulder muscles was a thing of beauty.

Soon she’d get a chance to touch and play as she liked. But that wasn’t the same thing as cuddling. Or laying her cheek against the divot of his spine.

Her fingers curled into her palm, folding safely in on herself. She should do it anyway. The risk was so little, and the reward of his flesh would be so great.

But before she’d managed to overcome the trembling knot in her stomach, it was too late. Tanner tossed open the door, set his board inside, and then leaned hers against the wall next to his.

Then he shut the door again. Leaning against it, he gave her a wicked grin. In the pale light of the energy-efficient bulb, his teeth looked as white as a shark’s.

“Tell me what we’re doing here.”

She let her head tilt and let a sultry smile curve her mouth. The practice she’d put into this look as a teenager was worth it when his eyelids went heavy and his chest thickened on a deep breath. “I had been under the impression that was obvious.”

The touch he trailed down the inside of her arm sent a wicked shiver through her. The weight landed in her pussy, making her swell with heat that battled against her damp swimsuit.

“No.” His grip looped around her wrist. She’d never been tiny, but he made her feel delicate. Breakable, but only in the best possible way. “I mean, how bold do you want to be?”

“Bold enough to make it worth it.”

When this all ended, she would need something big and bold enough to take away with her. A fully absorbing memory for when she was once again alone in her bed, playing with her battery-operated friend.

Tanner liked that answer. He pulled her closer, then stole a kiss, which was instantly reciprocated. The way he swanned through life, so fully assured of his right to what he wanted, made her head spin. She needed a little of that, even if it was only a taste by proxy.

When he lifted his head again, it was all she could do not to sway into his arms. “What are you hinting at?”

“I’ve always wanted to do something. It’s late enough, I think.” He wound his fingers up through the back of her hair. Tiny tugs and pulls told her he was removing her hair tie. “And you, Avalon, seem brave enough to try it with me.”

The idea gave her a little rush. That she’d be able to
give him something no other woman had, sent a hot coil of
yes
down her spine and through her pussy.

She rose up on her toes, letting her kiss be enough of an answer. The way he grabbed her hips sent more power running through her, until her head almost buzzed with it. Until even her toes tingled.

He hitched her higher in his grip, yanking her up. Their torsos came together. The pressure against her breasts was enough to send another rush of wet to her core.

Almost involuntarily, she gave a little hop. Almost a test—would he catch her? He did.

Big hands curled around her ass, warm under the edge of her wet bikini bottom. His fingers were callused and his grip was hard and unrelenting. As if now that he had her in his hold, he wasn’t letting go.

She crossed her forearms behind his neck, not wanting to admit how much she liked that. She wanted more too. All the way through. It was more than want—it was need. His touch, his existence. She needed to give him what he desired.

Everything she had, she poured into their kiss. More of her energy through and through, until his tongue in her mouth sent tiny wiggles of pleasure through her. The depths of her head went haywire, taking enjoyment further and further.

The world almost seemed to sway under their touch.

But then she realized it really did sway—because Tanner had walked her toward the side of the deck. There, tucked underneath the balcony of the upper floor, was a half-walled outdoor shower for washing off sand. All the nice houses along the beach had them, and this one was
one of the nicer Avalon had seen, with tiled walls and both hot and cold water.

Tanner set her down on her feet in the corner. He flattened his hands at the wall beside her head. The dark became deeper in their close slice of the world, the porch light half concealed by the artfully worn boards.

She could only make out shadows and planes of Tanner’s face. It gave him a slightly sinister edge, until she reached up to touch. Her fingers slid along his jaw. A slight hint of scruff, the golden hairs invisible in this light, roughed up her skin. “Here?” she breathed.

The idea was dirty. Filthy. Wonderfully so. She’d etch herself in a corner of his mind, something that would belong to her. During the day, she’d never consider such a thing. The tourist-packed sand and the neighbors would guarantee they’d be busted. Seen. Caught.

Christ, even that thought sent a dirty shiver through her. She let her fingers dive back into Tanner’s hair. The strands weren’t exactly soft, but they had a wiry texture she found fascinating.

Or maybe she liked touching him.

She smiled. Yeah. She did like that. Any chance to touch him and she would take it.

“Here.” He kissed her again, a fast sweep. She’d give him anything for more of those drugging kisses that made her head spin. “Not everything. I don’t have any condoms on me. But there’s something I’ve been thinking about.”

He flattened his hand wide over her bare stomach. The wiggling inside her fluttered to a stop, then surged higher in a heavy thud in her chest. She’d give anything to wipe the shadows away from their hiding spot. She wanted to see the way he looked at her. But she’d have to give up the moment to do that. Give up the chance.

“How long?” She’d like to be able to give him something he’d been thinking about for years. A special little boost.

But what he said next was even better.

“Since I saw you come in off the waves my first morning home I’ve wanted to drop to my knees and lick you.” He spoke between kisses, little quiet whispers that streaked down her limbs in promise.

How in the name of God could she even consider passing that up? She nodded her agreement.

The nerves almost came back when he reached past her to turn on the water. It splashed down on them, at first cold but a couple quick moments turned it warm. The whole time, Tanner’s gaze was fixed on her face as he moved by rote.

When the water poured warm, he kissed her again. Hard enough that her eyes drifted shut and she thought she might melt backward into the cool tile that lined the walls. The shower drove off the salt-sharp smell of the ocean. Her world narrowed.

Tanner. Only Tanner. Everything else could scurry away. She didn’t need it.

His touch. His kiss. The sweep of his hands over her hips. The confident way he tugged her bikini bottoms down her legs. He followed them down, onto his knees.

Thick weight lodged in her chest. She could barely breathe at having a man like that on his knees before her. She stroked back his coarse hair, watching a tiny bit of moonlight work its way through a slat in the wall to gleam off the strands. They weren’t particularly concealed.

She wasn’t sure she cared. She’d nothing left but this chance, this moment. The heady responsibility of having him on his knees before her.

He ducked his head, licked over the ridge of her hipbone. She hissed in a breath at the enticing pleasure. There wasn’t a moment of this she’d give up. It felt as if she was finally getting repaid, but for what, she had no idea. Lusting after him from afar? That was ridiculous.

The trace of his tongue over her seam sent her chin dropping loosely to her chest. Her fingers clenched in his hair. More. She needed more of that teasing. But she needed it harder, deeper.

More altogether.

“Tanner,” she said, and the tone of her voice was almost a warning. But of what, she still didn’t know.

“Hmm?” He hummed the response against her lips. The trembling sent a pulse of feeling up through her. So goddamn close.

She shifted her feet apart a few inches. She had to plant her hands flat on opposite sides of the shower, wedging herself in, because her knees were trembling so freaking hard. If this went on much longer, she might lose her mind. Come right out of her skin in a ratcheting-high sense of anticipation.

Outside the open door of the cubicle, the moon must have risen above the neighbor’s roof. Light poured over Tanner’s face. The blunt beauty of his features struck a chord within her. His hands stroked up the insides of her thighs.

“Did you want something?” He purred it right up against her pussy. The vibrations made her hips twitch in an involuntary way. The devious smile at his mouth made her even more impatient.

One hand dove deep in his hair and tugged. “Now, Tanner. Don’t make me wait any longer.”