Riding the Wave (7 page)

T
anner had always assumed the expression
seeing red
was something of an exaggeration. But the second he stepped foot in his mother’s kitchen and saw Mako’s smirking face behind the counter, his sight had literally washed red. The blood rushed in his skull with a sudden
whoosh
, like he was being held under by a hard-core slab, his board long gone and nothing but dark in his senses.

Every speck of air in the world had frozen and he’d choke on the shards.

Mako rocked forward on his toes, hands spreading wide at his hips in that universal sign. Begging for an ass beating. He had the audacity to fucking smile.

Sage set her beer down slowly and stepped forward, her eyes cloudy with confusion. But she still had her lips plastered into a smile. She lifted one hand toward Tanner and put the other in the center of Mako’s chest. “Come on, boys. Don’t let rivalries get out of hand.”

Jack eased between them, as if he were being subtle. He managed to smile too, but it didn’t go anywhere near his eyes. “There’s no trouble here, right?”

A fist-sized knot lodged between Tanner’s shoulder blades. His chest bowed out in counterpressure. Kill, hurt, fight. All he wanted. Everything he’d boiled down to for the moment. A claim on his space. “Don’t talk about shit you don’t know, Jack. And, Sage, this isn’t your place.”

Avalon’s mouth dropped open. Her hands fell to her hips, her elbows angled out. “Not her place? You’re insane. If you’ve forgotten, this is her house, not yours.”

The soothing noise Sage made went nowhere. “It’s okay, Avalon. That’s not exactly our biggest worry right now.”

“No, our biggest worry is this shitbag,” Tanner snapped. All he could think about was the magazine article that was probably already being printed. “And how he needs to get the hell out before I wipe the floor with him.”

Mako turned his palms upward, as if trying to seem like less of a threat. But he knew exactly what it would mean walking into this home. Exactly what he’d put at risk.

The first time the two had met, Mako had made it perfectly clear that he resented the family Hank Wright had in America. He’d flat-out said he’d do what he could to make them hurt if he ever had a chance. The
SURFING
exposé was probably the culmination of his every fantasy. To meet Sage under false pretenses only confirmed his sliminess.

There was no way Tanner could allow that. “Didn’t I tell you to go home, Mako? Your kind needs to be kept far away at the other end of the globe.”

Avalon’s eyes went wide. On second thought, Tanner realized how that sounded, but she didn’t know the whole story. Didn’t know the history.

“Just saying hello, friend. That’s all.” He showed gleaming
white teeth but no real amusement. “I heard there was a party and I tagged along.”

“With you?” Tanner spat the words at Jack. “You brought him?”

Jack lifted a single eyebrow. “You wanna reconsider how you’re talking to me?”

The growl grew in Tanner’s throat, swelling up from his chest. His biceps snapped hard, and his fists curled in on themselves. He lunged forward before he could think about it, but it wasn’t Jack’s body he came up against. It was Avalon and her slim curves.

She set both her hands in the center of his chest and pushed. “Down, man. Chill.”

“They can fuck off.”

“I know, I know.” Her eyes were wide, but calm. So strange—the smile tucking in the corners of her lips seemed real. She wasn’t the least bit afraid of him, even though he felt like ripping Mako limb from limb. “Jack, get your boy out of here.”

“Right.” He grabbed Mako by the upper arm, but for a second the other man didn’t move.

Other man. Tanner could almost spit. Would if it wasn’t his mother’s kitchen floor involved. That was his half brother. Almost as big a shithead as their father.

Eventually, Mako shifted, letting Jack drag him away. They made for the back door, hopefully so Jack could take him straight to the alley and as far away as possible. At this hour, LAX and an airplane was probably too much to hope for.

“Don’t come back,” Tanner yelled over Avalon’s head.

“Not tonight, I won’t.” Mako waggled his fingers in a mocking wave. “But the company was so fine, who knows about next time?”

Tanner surged up on the balls of his feet again, but before he could get around Avalon they were gone.

A strange silence washed over the room. The only noise was the still-roaring beat of his blood in his ears, plus a harsh panting that he eventually realized was his own breathing. He unlocked his fists finger by finger.

Avalon’s hands still rested on his chest. Her mouth had opened on a silent gasp. “When did you become an asshole, Tanner?”

He shook his head in protest. “You don’t know. There’s things that . . .”

He wasn’t the bad guy in this situation. He’d even tried to be Mako’s friend when he’d first found out, thinking maybe a mutual disgust for Hank would draw them together. Or failing that, the bonds of brothers. But the guy had made his position perfectly clear.

A shark could have eaten Tanner for all Mako cared. Fuck, he’d have probably chopped Tanner up into chum and spooned him into the ocean if given half a chance.

Sage clasped her hands before her stomach. “Tanner, it’s not right to maintain that level of aggression carried over from competition. It’ll eat you alive.”

“For the last fucking time, there’s shit neither of you know. He’s not just a competitor.” The words exploded from him like shrapnel, hurt coming up his throat much as if it really had been tiny shreds of metal.

He straight-armed through the back door, into his mother’s patio garden. But the tiny walled-in place didn’t give him the relaxation it usually did.

The wrapped-up power jittering down his arms had to go somewhere. Punching the wall hadn’t been in his repertoire since he’d been a seventeen-year-old kid pissed because his dad wouldn’t let him take off for the Worlds
until he was another year older and done with school. He still had the scar on his third knuckle to prove that one.

But he was considering it tonight.

The back door opened, spilling a triangle of golden light and noise across the patio blocks. “I don’t need to be soothed, Sage.”

But the voice that answered was decidedly huskier than his sister’s. “I was more worried you intended to follow them and kill that guy. I’m not so great at soothing.”

He pressed his hands over his temples and squeezed. Tight. With the ebb of his killing impulse, his head was starting to hurt. “Yeah? And how’d you stop me?”

She ranged around the dark edges of the tiny patio. Out of reach. That was probably better. If he was on the verge of hitting walls, he certainly shouldn’t have someone as delicate as Avalon in his hands. At least she didn’t have a camera in hand. He didn’t think he could have handled it.

She slid her hands in her back pockets, then shrugged. “Probably call the cops if necessary.”

“Look, I’m sorry you saw that.”

The look she slid over her shoulder was altogether knowing. A siren to call him to the rocks. “But I did. And Sage did. Your mother could have walked in at any moment. A whole party of friends and family waited one room away. People you work with. I didn’t think you were that much of a hothead, Tanner.”

“There are things you don’t know.” His fists strained until he thought his knuckles would pop.

“So you keep saying.” She leaned her shoulders against the wall. In the dark, he couldn’t see any more of
her eyes beyond a soft gleam. Her mouth was a gray shadow. “But you’re not explaining.”

“I can’t.” But that was his automatic response.

The one he’d honed over years and years of protecting his father—and, more specifically, his mother. Keeping her feelings safe, even if she never knew it.

The time for keeping quiet was long over. Tanner had a deadline now.

Mako had made it perfectly clear that he was in town. He had no problems stepping foot in what Tanner considered his territory. He couldn’t keep his mother safe if Mako wasn’t content to stay in Tahiti and Australia anymore.

Tanner dropped into a deck chair, his knees spread wide. “Fuck,” he muttered.

Avalon eased off the wall. She’d seemed laid-back during the whole confrontation, and when he’d been popping and ready to go, but now that his anger eased, she bounced up subtly. As if shedding a skin, like the relaxed part hadn’t really been her. Really she was eager and curious in a way that burned outward.

“Spit it out, Tanner.” She eased a hip onto the glass table. Her feet landed between his outstretched legs, but she wasn’t quite touching him. “You’ll feel better if you do.”

“I doubt that.”

The weight of the secret might disappear, sure. He wouldn’t have everyone staring at him, wondering why he’d been such a shitty son for all those years. But it would only be a trade.

He’d break his mother’s heart. But Mako intended to do it anyway. . . .

It would be better coming from him. Not less painful, no. There was no way he could spin anything that hard.
Hell, if there was, he’d have told her a long time ago. But it might be less of a betrayal.

He scrubbed his palms over his eye sockets, then pushed hard. Anything to hold back the pressure in his skull. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Then don’t.”

“Easier said than done.”

“You could always run it by me first. If you wanted to.” Her cheeks looked leaner when she wasn’t smiling, less rounded. But her mouth still seemed lush.

He’d much rather return to the portion of the night where he’d been kissing her. Holding her. Thinking so easily about fucking her.

He couldn’t help but touch her. Two fingers trailed along her thigh beneath the skirt. Every time he touched her skin, it seemed softer. But that had to be all in his head.

This was neither the time nor the place. He pulled his hand back, laced both together over his stomach. His muscles had latched hard, as if he were bracing to be swallowed up by a huge barrel wave. Blowing out his tension with a breath that lasted only a second.

The time had come. Mako wasn’t going away, which meant he’d have to tell. Sit his mom down and tell the nasty secret he’d held and watch her heart break.

This was going to be a fucking blast.

He shoved up out of his seat with abrupt and barely leashed fury. The move brought him even closer to Avalon. But she didn’t flinch. Only looked up at him with those big mossy-colored eyes, her forehead wrinkled in expectation.

“You about to hulk out or something? Because I think those guys are long gone.”

He shook his head. There was no way he’d ever admit
the way his stomach churned. “I have to have a talk with my mom.”

Her eyebrows lifted even farther and her lips parted. “
The
talk? Like, the where the hell you’ve been talk?”

The laughter caught him out of nowhere, zipping through him. Avalon was good for him, it seemed. “Yes, that one.”

“It’s about damn time.”

“I know.”

“This is a good thing. No family can survive with secrets.”

The irony of that one chewed away at his nerves. “Trust me on this. She’s not going to like it. Not in the least.”

But as he turned to walk away, her hand flew out and caught him by the wrist. Against his arm, her fingers looked reed slender. Graceful. “Wait. If you’re sure it’s going to be that bad, wait an hour. Give her this night. She’s wanted this party for the longest time.”

It had been years. An hour wouldn’t matter. In fact, it felt almost like a relief. He nodded, probably bobbing his head as fast as an eager puppy. But it faded so fast. This was a reprieve, not a release.

He’d still be facing the music at the end of the night.

T
he next hour passed in a strange haze for Avalon. She was so damn curious. At one point, she wanted to stand on the birchwood coffee table, wave her hands over her head, and tell everyone else to get the hell out.

But she’d been right to make Tanner wait. Eileen was on top of the world, floating through the crowds of people like a brightly colored butterfly in her multicolored silk blouse. The dark green skirt had once been her favorite, hauled out for multiple dates with Hank. She’d put it away for more than six months.

Until now.

Even her expression looked lighter. She’d always been serene, but that wasn’t the same thing as being
happy
. Nothing Avalon did had been able to put that glow back in her smile but having Tanner home did it. Having this party to welcome him had apparently given her a sense of purpose and joy. Because she was sucking it up.

Avalon stood at the far side of the room, fiddling with her primary Canon, switching out the lens. Mostly for fun at this point. She’d gotten all the industry-at-work shots she’d likely need.

Even Tanner was worn out, though she wasn’t sure how she knew that. The way his eyelids tensed, probably. Maybe a faint whitening of the scar over his mouth. No one else would likely think so. Three feet away, he was still talking and joking with the towheaded teenager who’d dominated the junior surf circuit this year. The kid hadn’t come out and asked Tanner if he should go pro—the kid probably already had a manager, not to mention his parents—but it was obvious he was interested in Tanner’s opinion.

Weirder than that was the fact that Tanner was avidly and competently talking to the kid, weighing the pros and cons. Tanner even mentioned college once or twice, though he’d walked away from the opportunity himself.

Avalon lifted her camera and snapped off a shot, in case. The exhaustion riding Tanner seemed clearer to her through her viewfinder. But it was the way he kept sneaking looks at his mom that was most obvious.

That most tugged at her heart, if Avalon were to be honest.

Though she was pretty sure it was the general attachment she had to the Wright family. Nothing special to Tanner.

She wanted to be able to walk up behind him and dig fingertips into that deep slab of muscle across his shoulders. The stiffness there said he had to be tense as hell.

But she resisted the impulse.

It turned out to be easy to do when a pale-skinned redhead inveigled her way into the conversation. Avalon turned away in disgust. If that girl was actually a surfer, Avalon would eat the bikini covering her fake tits. Strings and all.

But as she packed up her camera, she might have
smirked. Tanner had pinned Avalon against the upstairs wall. Not some implanted bimbo.

Eventually the crowds thinned. Eileen walked the last couple to the door, then waved from the front step. Tanner sat in an overstuffed chair, his legs sprawled wide in his usual manner. Sage perched on the half-wall between the living room and the den.

Eileen shut the door and leaned against it. She tucked her shawl more closely around her shoulders. “I do love a good party.”

Avalon smiled, but it was a bit difficult. Her heart had taken up residence in her throat as soon as the door snapped closed. The worry on Tanner’s face when he’d insisted that his mom would be hurt by the truth of his split from his father . . . He’d believed it completely. No matter her doubts about him, he wasn’t a stupid man.

He both knew his mother and loved her wholly. That had never been in doubt.

Tanner smiled at Eileen, but it was obviously forced. “You’ve always thrown good ones.”

A happy smile fluttering around her mouth, she started gathering up wineglasses, most of them still stained red. “A party is an excuse for people to get together and be happy. It’s pretty difficult to throw a bad one.”

“Mom, put those down,” Sage said through a yawn. “We’ve got the cleaners coming tomorrow for the express purpose of picking up.”

“Remind me to make sure they get under the curio cabinet in the den. I think I saw Phillip drop a whole handful of munchies.” She sighed, flipping a hank of blond hair from her eyes. “That man’s been such a mess since his wife died. He needs a keeper.”

Sage leaned her head against the wall at her side. “No
more strays, Mom. You’re not playing matchmaker again. How many times did Christine call you in the middle of the night last time? When it didn’t work?”

“Pish.” Eileen waved a hand at her daughter, no matter the wineglasses dangling from her fingers. “I’m doing no such thing. It’s a human being’s duty to sow joy in the world, that’s all.”

A pang struck Avalon in the chest, underneath her sternum. She loved these two like they were her own. More, probably. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible to love someone she didn’t admire.

And she didn’t admire the tangled mess her mother had made of her life.

Eileen set her first load of glasses on the sideboard, then started gathering a second. “Though, Tanner, I heard you were fighting. In my kitchen too.” She shook her head in a chiding waggle. “I thought I raised you better than that. No matter the provocation, fighting is not the answer. I know Jack is bad about that, but—”

“It wasn’t Jack’s fault,” Sage insisted, cutting off her mother. “Tanner, what was your problem with Mako? He seemed perfectly normal to me. Maybe a little full of himself. He said something about wanting to come by the store.” She flashed her patented smile, the one that never failed to make Avalon smile back.

But apparently her brother was immune to it.

Tanner’s gaze caught Avalon’s. Dark worry lodged behind his eyes. She nodded at him, though he’d never exactly asked for permission.

Coming out of the chair, he caught his mom by the hands. Blunt-tipped fingers took the wineglasses away from her and set them down side by side on the low coffee table. “I need to talk to you.”

“So talk,” she answered, still smiling. “No reason I can’t keep picking up. I don’t sleep well if I know there’s clutter. My surroundings are out of alignment.”

“No.” His voice was low, as if he were trying to speak only to her. Avalon slung her camera bag across her chest in preparation to go upstairs. “It’s about why I stayed away. About my fight with Dad.”

Eileen’s arms relaxed, no longer reaching for the glasses, but the smile stayed in place. “Then talk. It’s fine.”

“Alone.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. At the other side of the room, Sage sat up straighter. She shot a look at Avalon, obviously asking what the hell was going on, but Avalon could only shrug. She didn’t have any more idea than anyone else.

Though she was mostly all earth mother, Eileen had a stubborn side. Her mouth set into a flat line. “No. There’s nothing you can’t say in front of them. They deserve to know where you’ve been too. Your sister’s missed you as much as I have.”

“That’s probably not a good idea.” The back of Tanner’s neck reddened. His shoulders lifted.

“It is if I say it is.”

Eileen’s hair was still the gold-touched blond it had been when Avalon had first met her. Sage had brought Avalon home from the beach for lunch and Eileen had whipped up a salmon and green bean salad. Avalon hadn’t wanted to eat it, but Eileen had presented the same implacable calm she cloaked herself in now. So Avalon had chowed down on salmon and veggies, which she’d been sure she’d hate.

If she wanted Tanner to speak in front of Sage and Avalon, then that’s what would happen. There was no
defeating Eileen when she got that look. His chest lifted on a deep sigh.

“At least sit down then.” He still had her by the wrists, until he let them go to hold her shoulders.

“That I can do,” she said with her nose lifting toward the air. She tucked her flowing skirt under her as she sat.

Tanner sighed again as he sank down to sit on the coffee table directly in front of his mother. “This isn’t very easy for me to say.”

“Spit it out, then.” Eileen reached out to smooth Tanner’s tousled hair. “Get it over with. Your father loved you, I hope you know. Always did. If anything, I’ve wondered if you two fought over being too much alike.”

Tanner’s big shoulders shuddered. Actually shuddered. Avalon would do anything to be able to see his face, but his head was bowed and turned away from her. His voice rumbled, but she couldn’t hear him. Neither had Sage from the confused hold of her expression. She mouthed a “What?” at Avalon, but she had to shrug her shoulders.

But apparently Eileen hadn’t heard, either. Or hadn’t liked what she heard. “What did you say?” Her voice shook.

“Dad cheated on you.”

Eileen shook her head slowly. “No, you’re wrong.”

“I’m not.” He tried to take his mother’s hands again, but she snatched them away. She pulled back into herself, shoulders curling in. “I only know because of Mako.”

“Mako? I met that boy tonight.” Her face blanched white but for two hectic dots of color high on her cheeks. “What’s he got to do with anything?”

“He’s Dad’s son.” His voice was wrecked. Shaky and grumbling at the same time. The difference between his
shoulders and narrow waist became even more pronounced as his tension ratcheted up.

A soft gasp came from Sage. Shaking fingers rose to her mouth. She slipped down from her counter-height perch, but she didn’t go far. She only leaned back against the wall, as if her legs wouldn’t hold her.

Avalon knew the feeling. Her blood had slugged to a chillish hold and her stomach churned. And Hank Wright hadn’t even been her actual father.

She’d always thought him a good man. Fathering a second son, not by his wife . . .

She could almost understand where Tanner had been all this time. Almost.

“I fought with Dad because he refused to tell you. And I didn’t think it was my place.”

“You stayed away all those years because of
this
?” Eileen tugged at the brightly colored scarf over her shoulders. “That’s no reason. No reason at all.”

Tanner sighed again. “I couldn’t look at him. Not here, in this home that you poured so much work into. I couldn’t look at him without losing my mind. And I couldn’t bear hurting you like that.”

Avalon crossed her arms over her chest, holding in the hurt. She couldn’t fall apart, not when Sage and Eileen were so shaken up. And they weren’t the crying, sobbing mess she wanted to be. She drew a deep, shaky breath. Not her place, really. She had to get herself under control.

Even if it felt like Tanner was picking apart her very dreams. She’d always wanted her marriage, whenever she had one, to be like Eileen and Hank’s. Respectful and loving—and apparently fake as hell.

Eileen kept shaking her head as if she could deny
what Tanner was saying. “There’s no way you could possibly know that. It’s not like he would have told you.”

“He didn’t. I met the woman. In Tahiti, the second time I went for the ASP.” He flicked a glance over his shoulder at Avalon. He was almost as much of a mess as Eileen. Definitely more than Sage, who stood so quietly. Pulling into herself without ever moving an inch. “I tried talking to Mako back then, but he wasn’t having any of it. I think he resents me. Resents all of us. It’s made him an asshole.”

“That’s enough of that.” Eileen held up a hand before she stood on shaky legs. Tanner reached for her again, but she stepped back, out of his hands. “No reason for talk like that.”

“Mom, there’s something else you should know.” Tanner stood up as well. Behind his mother, he reached for her, only for his hands to drop again. “Mako has apparently given an interview. He told everything.”

Eileen’s hand shook when she reached up to pull her shawl closer around her shoulders. Her knuckles stood out in stark relief. “I suppose that’s his right,” she said, but her voice broke on the words. Her fingertips rose to her temple. “I have to go lie down.”

Sage tried to stop her as she walked out of the room, but she wasn’t having any of it. She held up her hand again, her neck curved down in a way Avalon had never seen before.

Tears prickled at the back of Avalon’s eyes. This was awful. So horrible that she didn’t even have words for it. Her stomach flipped over and over as the pretty little world she’d been permitted into fell apart. But she had to hold it together. If it was this painful for her, she couldn’t imagine what it felt like to Sage. God, to Eileen.
She had to be falling apart inside. Avalon scratched her nails into the tender skin inside her elbows. The pain made her hiss, drawing her back down to earth. She didn’t exactly have the right to fall apart when Sage and Eileen needed her.

Eileen stopped at the foot of the stairs. “How long?” she asked, her back to them all.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Deep lines carved around Tanner’s mouth.

“How long was it going on? From start to finish.”

He rocked back on his heels, shoving his hands in his pockets. His chin lowered to his chest. “I don’t know.”

“I didn’t think you would.” Her sigh was as soft as the summer breeze coming in off the waves. “That right there . . . That’s why you didn’t have any right to keep this secret, Tanner. Because you waited until your father was dead, I don’t have anyone to ask.”