Riding Tall (19 page)

Another bitter look. “I already
talked
to the banks,” Nick sneered. “You think I came here
first
? You think I
enjoy
being patronized and lectured to? Trust me, Joe, you are my absolute last option.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Joe said. He truly was. Not only because he wanted his brother to be successful and happy, but also because he wanted his brother to stay in the goddamned city and out of Joe’s hair. He stood up and headed for the stove. He stirred the simmering oats and asked, “Do you want breakfast?”

“Fuck you, Joe.” The words were quiet, almost casual, and somehow that made them hit even harder.

Joe didn’t turn around. He pulled the dried apples and berries down from the tin above the stove and shook a few handfuls into the oatmeal. He and Ally had harvested the fruit the last summer and fall, Austin helping in his own way. Joe wondered if they’d be able to do that again, or if they’d be too busy. Ally would be away at school for apple season, and Joe had barely been able to find time for berry picking
this
year, with all the other summer work on the farm. He picked a chunk of apple out of the oatmeal and chewed on it gently. Everything was changing. It was falling apart. He’d kept it together for as long as he could, but now it was broken.

He reached up and turned the heat off on the oatmeal, then put a lid on the pot. The family would find it when they woke up. And if Austin got up first and woke up Mackenzie? Well, maybe it was time for that final straw to land. Joe didn’t think he could stand waiting for it any longer.

Chapter 14

“Y
OU
NEED
to make Joe give me money.” Nick seemed serious.

Mackenzie just stared at him. “
Me
? You think I can get Joe to do a damn thing he doesn’t want to? Give me a break.”

“You can,” Nick insisted. “He’s crazy about you. Make it an ultimatum or something. Tell him you’ll leave if he doesn’t give me the money. He says he doesn’t have any, but he’s got loads of equity. He could get a mortgage easy, pay off the farm all at once and then pay back the bank instead of paying the family slow.”

They were sitting in the living room. Austin was on the floor, playing a game that seemed to involve the animals from his farm set living at his airport. There was a black-and-white cow piloting the plane in Austin’s hand. Lacey and Ally had Kami in the mudroom, trying to teach her how to do laundry. It was all such a mundane scene, made surreal by the nonsense coming out of Nick’s mouth.

“Why on earth would I try to convince Joe to do that?” Mackenzie was genuinely curious. “I mean, I wouldn’t leave him, obviously, but why would I even threaten to? Why would I risk this relationship in order to get you some money? I like you, Nick, but my first loyalty is to Joe.”

“Well, maybe not
loyalty
,” Nick said. His tone was oily, his meaning obscure.

Mackenzie wasn’t sure he had the mental energy for this conversation, but it was probably best to push on and get it over with. “What are you talking about?”

“The bar’s been short on cash for a while. There wasn’t enough business to need two bartenders, so I started picking up shifts at a couple other places. Used it as a way to talk up our place.”

“Okay?”

“One of the places I worked was the Blue Room,” Nick said as if that should mean something to Mackenzie.

“Okay….”

“That doesn’t seem significant to you?” Nick waited for Mackenzie to catch up, then added, “A few weeks ago? You were there, with some guy in a shiny green shirt?”

Mackenzie frowned at him. “Oh, yeah, okay. Anton. Yeah, we were there.”

“You were making out with him! You went home with him!”

“What?” Mackenzie looked wildly in Austin’s direction, and seeing him preoccupied with trying to fit a sheep into a helicopter, swiveled to look toward the mudroom. No sign that the girls had heard Nick’s accusation. “Jesus, Nick,” Mackenzie almost whispered. “That’s not what happened! I let him kiss me because he was trying to make some guy jealous! I gave him
sixty seconds
. That’s it! And I did
not
go home with him. He just left at the same time as me.”

“That’s not what it looked like,” Nick said firmly. “He was buying you drinks, and he was all over you, for
way
more than sixty seconds.” He leaned back in his chair. “I like you too, Mackenzie. I don’t want to see you get caught up in all this. But I need your help. And you need mine.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“If I can get the money, I can go back to the city, and we can forget about all this,” Nick said soothingly. “It was a mistake you made, that’s all.”

“Ally!” Mackenzie yelled. His heart was pounding, his blood pressing against his eardrums so hard he barely heard her when she answered his call. “I need you to look after Austin for a bit. I need to go talk to Joe.”

“What?” Nick stood up. “Slow down, Mackenzie. You need to play this right. You can’t just go charging out there and demand cash. You need to, you know, seduce him into it.”

Oh for goodness sake. “You. Get your coat on,” Mackenzie ordered. Ally came into the living room now, looking at him quizzically. “Do you know where Joe is?”

“He was checking the cattle in the near pasture,” she said, clearly unsure whether this was a situation that called for alarm or amusement. “He would have ridden, but you can walk if you want. Go to the left of the barn and follow the tree line.”

“Good. Thanks.” Mackenzie strode purposefully toward the back door, Nick following more slowly in his wake.

“This isn’t the way to do it,” Nick tried.

“Shut up. Get your coat on.” Mackenzie was already tugging at his boots.

His adrenaline kept him charging through the snow all the way up past the barn and toward the field Ally had mentioned. Mackenzie saw Joe on horseback and waved; Joe saw him and directed the horse toward them.

“You’re playing this all wrong,” Nick protested. “Come on, Mackenzie, this is not a good plan.”

“This is the only plan you left me,” Mackenzie responded. He was nervous, but he knew what he had to do.

Joe got closer. “Something wrong?” he asked, alarm in his voice.

“No,” Mackenzie said quickly. He waited until Joe brought the horse to a stop. “But I need to tell you something.” He didn’t let himself think about it, just charged ahead. “A few weeks ago, when I was in the city, I went out with a friend, and he was trying to make his boyfriend jealous. He was really handsy with me, bought me drinks, and I let him kiss me for sixty seconds. I would have told you about it, but when I got back you were hurt and Lacey got kicked out of school and things since then have just been crazy. It wasn’t a big deal, but I can see how it might have looked bad to someone who didn’t know what was going on.”

Joe swung down off the horse, his expression unreadable. “And you had to come way out here in the middle of the day to tell me about it? How come?”

Mackenzie didn’t want to make things worse between the brothers. “Nick saw me. He was there. He asked for clarification, and it occurred to me that it could have been misinterpreted. I wanted to talk to you before that happened.”

Joe’s squint was pretty powerful. He was obviously trying to burn a hole right through Mackenzie’s skull so he could read what was going on in his brain, and Mackenzie was pretty sure he could actually feel a spot starting to steam on his forehead. When Joe turned his gaze toward Nick, Mackenzie’s face cooled. Then his whole body chilled when he heard Joe’s tone.

“You asked for clarification.” Joe stared at his brother, then slowly, almost sadly, shook his head. “That doesn’t sound right.”

“I was trying to look out for you,” Nick said defensively. He looked like he had more to say, but Joe cut him off.

“Bullshit. If you’d been looking out for me, you would have called me the day after it happened. You were looking out for the same person you always look out for—yourself.” Joe stepped closer. “Were you trying to
blackmail
him? That’s what this is, right?” He looked at Mackenzie for confirmation that Mackenzie didn’t want to give, but apparently whatever Joe saw in his face was enough. “What the hell? You haven’t got any money, Mack. What did he want you to do?”

Mackenzie didn’t want to drive a wedge between the brothers, but he wasn’t going to flat-out lie to Joe, either. “He was hoping I’d help persuade you to loan him money.” He said it in the most favorable terms he could think of, but it still came out sounding pretty bad.

Joe didn’t seem all that angry, though. Instead, he pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was trying to fight off a headache. When he finally spoke, he sounded ancient and weary. “It has to stop, Nick. We love you, and we try to forgive your mistakes, but you are making way too many. If you want to be part of this family, you need to start putting it first, at least some of the time.” Joe looked at his brother. “This kind of thing? Nick, it
has to stop
.”

Mackenzie saw the words register, but then Nick’s stubborn bravado resurfaced. “Or else what? You’re going to kick me out of the family? Yeah, like you haven’t already
done
that!”

“You’re not kicked out, Nick.”

“So where was my invitation to Christmas?” Nick jutted his jaw forward, and for the first time Mackenzie saw the similarity between Nick and his son.

Joe snorted. “An invitation? Seriously? If I’d
invited
you into the house you would have freaked out and given me a big speech about how you don’t need an invitation to a house you own 20 percent of, and how you’ll come home anytime you damn well want—”

“And where would I have slept, Joe? Where’s my bedroom? Filled up with random orphans
you
decided to bring into the family.”

Apparently that was the sensitive spot that made Joe’s temper flare. “Your
son
is in your bedroom, asshole. The kid
you
decided to bring in to the family. Well, except
decided
is a bit generous for being too stupid to use a condom, isn’t it? So I guess you’re right. Austin
is
a kid Will and I decided to bring into the family, when we tried to clean up after one more of your endless fucking mistakes. And if you’re too much of a princess to share a bedroom with him, I guess maybe there
isn’t
room for you in the house.” Joe stared at his brother, and Mackenzie wondered if he needed to get between them. He was pretty sure Joe wouldn’t take the first swing, but Nick looked mad enough to start something, and Joe probably wouldn’t have a problem with finishing it.

“This is how you want it?” Nick asked, his voice dangerously quiet. “You drawing lines, Joe?”

Joe’s squint was back, and it was good to see. If he was being cynical and trying to figure Nick out, he was using his brain, and surely that would be enough to keep him out of a fight. Then Mackenzie remembered the night at the gas station and how calm Joe had been through it all. He stepped a little closer. If Joe started calling Nick a pussy, Mackenzie would be ready to intervene.

But Joe didn’t throw any insults. He just shook his head. “What line? Am I saying you need to stop trying to blackmail my boyfriend? I really didn’t think that was something we’d need spelled out, but, yeah, I guess if you need it: you should stop trying to blackmail my boyfriend.” He sighed, as if the fight was draining out of him and leaving him exhausted. “The rest of it? You look like shit, Nicky. I don’t know what you’ve been doing to yourself, but you need to stop. Maybe you should stay here, maybe you should go stay at Will or Sarah’s. Maybe you should go back to the city. You know the situation. It’s your call. But I’m tired, Nick. I can’t take care of you, not anymore.”

“If you’ll just lend me some money—” Nick started, but he stopped when Joe turned away. “Fuck!” he said. “Fine, I’ll talk to Sarah. Or Will. Jesus, Joe, do you think I
wanted
it to come to this?”

Joe almost smiled then, although he was still turned half-away so only Mackenzie could see his expression. “You still think people end up getting what they want?” he asked quietly. Then he started walking, the mare trailing behind him as he headed away from Mackenzie and Nick.

“Go back to the house,” Mackenzie said. “I need to talk to him.”

“This is all your fault—” Nick started, but Mackenzie ignored him. He was too busy jogging after Joe.

“Hey,” he said, and Joe obediently stopped walking, although he didn’t turn all the way around. Mackenzie caught up and then wasn’t sure what it was he wanted to say. “We’re okay? It really wasn’t a big deal. I would have told you about it, but like I said, we really haven’t had a chance to talk. It’s been pretty busy.”

Joe nodded, but there was no eye contact, no smile. “Did it work?” he asked. “Did the other guy get jealous?”

“I actually have no idea. I haven’t talked to Anton since that night.”

“Am
I
supposed to get jealous? I don’t… I don’t know this game, Mack. I asked if you fooled around when you were in town and you got mad at me, then I find out you
were
messing around a bit, and somehow that’s not a big deal. I don’t get it.”