Riding Dirty: Luciotti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) (14 page)

I
couldn’t believe
I said those words. Those ill-fated fucking words:
I love you
.

Disgusting.

Who I was kidding? I
did
fucking love her. I loved everything about her. I loved the way she smelled, the way she kept her hair unkempt and a little bit messy, and the way she looked at me with fiery passion and mild indignation. I loved the way she cared for her kid, her strength, and I especially loved the way she moved across the room, rocking those hips back and forth in that hypnotizing rhythm.

She turned around, naked and perfect, and I had to follow her to the bedroom. I wanted this to be forever. I wanted her to make me take an oath, that the only job I would ever take would be to give her head, every Goddamn morning.

“You know,” she stared into her mirror as I lay in the bed staring back at her, “I still don't know anything about you.”

“Sure you do. You know I'm Mafia. You know that my family is crazy, that my life isn’t really ideal, or that—” She cut me off.

“I don’t mean that. I mean, I don’t know anything
real
about you. Who are you really? What do you love? What do you live for?” She turned around and faced me. Her hourglass body was a godsend to this world. Her pubic hair should be placed on a fucking mantle. God, I just loved everything about her. That’s what I lived for. Her.

I placed my hands behind my head, staring at the fan above me. I really thought about the question. I didn’t want to give some half-assed answer like I normally did. If this thing was really happening,
me and her
, I wanted to be invested in it. “I’m a simple guy. I love old black and white movies, a good cup of coffee in the morning… I love seeing the birds fly over the clouds and listening to the wind blow against the trees. I love the ocean in all of its terrifying glory. But I only live for one thing now.”

“Oh yeah? And what is that?” she asked me, walking over to the bed.

“You.” I said. “Well, and Jen. Because she’s a part of you.” Man, I was getting sappy. And it actually felt…
good
.

“You know for a guy who’s lived a life in organized crime, you’re really sweet,” she said, smiling. She jumped onto the bed, falling across her 15 or so pillows.

In bed, her expression grew different. Her eyes were lowered and her gaze avoided mine. After some time of telling jokes and simply admiring each other, she asked “Will they kill him?”

“They could,” I simply said, knowing within seconds who she was asking me about. I knew this wasn’t the right answer to give. Still, it was the truth plain and simple.

“Because he's a soldier? Like you?” Her face pale with the heavy conscience of a woman who had ran out of options.

“I don't know anymore. I just know I'm tired of playing cops and robbers. I’m tired of having men’s lives in my hands.” She stared into my eyes like she was trying to dive into my thoughts. I wanted her to dive in. I wanted her to understand. The choices I had to make weren’t easy. When I had a gun pointed at someone, my men also had their guns pointed at me, metaphorically speaking of course. If I didn’t follow orders, that was a death sentence on my part.

“Don't kill him. Just don't,” she said. “For me.”

She wouldn't know it, but she was asking a lot from me. You can't just let a man go, especially not a man like Cade. He had aimed his gun at me, the Don’s son. That alone was reason enough to get a bullet in the head. I had to give her this though. It was killing me knowing I couldn't.

Honor, loyalty, and respect. The three virtues. This is what it got you: a bullet to the head.

“What will we do with him then?” I asked her honestly.

“I don't know. Leave him on an island somewhere. Drop him in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Do anything you want, but don't kill Cade. He's the most toxic person I've ever met or been with and he ruined my life. But that doesn't change the fact that he’s the father of my child,” she said, her eyes growing misty and cold.

“You've got to be kidding me!” I found myself almost yelling. “He could have
killed
both of you.”

“I didn't say I want him near us again. I just said he deserves to stay alive,” she said. “If you want to stay here, and I mean
stay
here, then you have to do this for me. You have to!”

She drove a hard bargain all right. What could I do but give in to her one wish? To me, Cade being alive was a complete and total danger to everyone in that house. But there were memories attached to the three of them, a different life even. They were memories that, in her mind, deserved to be kept alive, no matter how bad they were. She kept them in a drawer, locked away. Deep inside. She didn’t want to throw that key away, even if she wasn’t going to use it.

The thing was, I actually understood it. How many friends, family, and young gangsters, even complete strangers, did I see get gunned down with violent malice and spite? I saw my own family deteriorate into something most normal people would call evil. Even then, I didn't let those memories go. I didn't want them to disappear. They were a part of me. They led me to
her
, that beautiful woman lying in front of me.

So I agreed. “I'll make sure of it. He’ll stay alive, but he’ll be far away from this place. He’ll never even step foot in this country ever again,” I said. I didn't know if I could go through with it, but I had the will to find a way.

B
ack home
, I had to make the case. I was a million miles away from where I wanted to be and all I could do was think of her scent to keep me grounded in my new convictions. “I don’t care what you do with him. Beat him, bloody him up, take all his money for all I care. Just don’t kill him. I’ve worked for this family all my life. I’ve given my blood for this empire.”

“And?” My father spat out. “What do you think that gets you? You think it makes you any more special than the rest of us?”

I stayed silent as he got up from his leather chair, carefully holding his lit cigar between two large fingers. He wandered over to a framed picture of his crew, back in 1949. “After Hitler’s demise,” he would always tell us, “we made America great. Detroit was a splendor to behold. Riches, everywhere. This city flourished.”

“And now it is nothing. It’s a fucking wasteland.” I interrupted him. My brother was cowering in the corner. No one stood up to the Don like this, not even his own kid. It was a death sentence. Everyone knew that.

Strange enough, he was nodding in agreement. “Maybe so. Maybe so. But that just adds to my point. We need to fight harder for this thing. We need to bring in as much money as we can. Those that fight against us will get the full extent of our anger and brutality,” he said, turning to me now. “I don’t understand all of this. You were always a good boy. You always listened to reason. Why are you fighting me on this now?”

“He’s found someone, Dad,” Ricky said, apparently gaining enough courage to speak out against me.

I ignored him. “Cade has given us the money back. He was repented. We’ve taken the life from his lackey. What more could we possibly want? Justice has been served.”

My father just laughed. “Justice? Is that what you’re after? Boy, if you thought this life was about justice, you might as well dig your own grave right now. There is no justice in this world. There’s only
my
rule of thumb. Regola del Pollice. We are the law around here. He knew that as everyone who makes business deals knows it.”

“You’re right. He signed up for this. But maybe we can find a better use for him,” I said.

“He’s slaving over
that woman
!” Ricky yelled. “He’ll do anything for her. He’s weak, father.”

My dad Antonio threw his cigar at Ricky. Sparks flew up as it hit his Armani suit. “Shut the fuck up, Ricky. You have no say in this matter.”

“But he’s clearly—”

“He deserves to be heard!” my father said, scowling at my brother. He slowly calmed himself down, holding his hand out in front of him. “I am an old man now, so maybe my words fail me. Maybe I’m coming on too strong. The world is different now. Gangs are different. There’s no honor these days. Men take
my
son to a building and leave him for dead. How could I just let them go, free to cause more chaos in the world? Then again, maybe I should be listening to you. You were, after all, the one to bear the beating. But what do you propose we do?”

“Give him an assignment. Make sure he comes through on it. Have him earn you extra money. Then send him somewhere, so he won’t be able to step foot here ever again.”

He stroked his chin, thinking to himself deeply. “Hm. We still have those connections in Caserta, right?” he asked, staring into the dark ceiling above.

“We do. I was thinking the same thing actually,” I said.

“We could send him there. Show him what life is really like in Southern Italy. Our men could put him to work and have him start earning within a day,” he said.

“Sure. As long as no one takes their eye off him. As long as he won’t be coming back here,” I said.

“We’ll make sure of it. We’ll give him incentive to stay. A little going away present if you will.” He smiled to himself.

“I don’t want to know what you’re insinuating. Just make it happen,” I said. My father nodded back in understanding. “Listen, there’s something else I want to talk to you about.”

Ricky groaned loudly. “That fucking woman…”

“Out. Now,” my father said to him. “I think it’s good you have a woman. A woman will keep you grounded. Women bring out the best in us.”

It was embarrassing talking about this stuff. In our culture, you got your woman, got her pregnant, and resumed the life you lived previously. But I wanted something different. I wanted a new life altogether. It wasn’t going to be easy convincing my father I needed to leave the family business.

I had to give it to him straight. I said “I want out.”

He frowned and sat back down in his chair, pushing his back against the old leather. “Why did I have a feeling you’d say that?”

“For once in my life, I’ve found my passion, father.” I stood straight and tall, like a soldier leaving the fight might do.

“I always thought your passion was the business,” he muttered.

“I didn’t have any passions. I followed instructions. I was a good worker. I never disobeyed an order,” I said.

“Yes, you were. You were the best in the business. The jobs you pulled off.
Marone,
it was beautiful. But I guess that kind of life can get to a man. And you are my son…”

“I am your son. I want to make you proud of me,” I said.

He ran his hands along the arms of the chair, tapping lightly with his fingers. “You love this woman?” he asked me.

“I do. And her child.” I added the end for good measure.

He sighed loudly. It was the kind of sigh an old man gives when he’s worn out from fighting all his life. He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. “I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming. You were always a smart boy. Much smarter than Ricky, anyway. If I could do it all over, I’d throw you in a good college. But that wasn’t an option for us back then. We needed all the help we could get and I trusted you more than I did my men.”

“I didn’t need school. My life was my life, and I don’t regret any part of it. I just want something different. A new beginning, if you will,” I said. He didn’t seem angry, which was a good sign.

“
Col tempo la foglia di gelso diventa seta
. Time and patience change the mulberry leaf to satin. I understand. I understand far too much. Is she a nice woman? Loving? Devoted? Is she a good cook?” He asked. A slight smile had creased over his mouth.

“I’ll bring her over to the next dinner. She’s an amazing woman and an even better mother. I really think you’d like her.” I smiled back, wishing I could be back in that small, dead-end town again. I wanted to read bedtime stories to Jen with her, to go to that park and watch fireworks, and to fall into her ass over and over again.

“Well, I can't say I'm thrilled you're leaving the business, but I'm happy for you son.” This might have been the only time I had heard words like that fall from his mouth. There was no malice, no anger, or resentment. It was all thrown on the table with love and respect.

I gave him a manly hug and pounded his back. “I'll always be a Luciotti,” I said.

“I know it.” He smiled. “You should get back to town. You better bring another one of us into this world,” he added.

“We’ll see. He could be a doctor or lawyer, or something greater than me.” I dreamed of a son. A nice boy that could play and learn from Jen would really be something great, but if it was a girl, I'd be just as happy.

I swear, I saw the great Don Antonio start to tear up a little. “If it happens, that child will be greater than all of us. Trust me on that.” He walked me out to the front of the house and faced Ricky.

“My oldest son, Ricky. You have a lot to learn, but now is your time to prove yourself within the ranks. Lucas has informed me he has a family now. He wants to pursue that, to really make something out of it. I told him he has my blessing.”

Ricky’s shoulders hunched with anger. His jaw gnarled inward with contempt. “Dad, what the f—”

“Before you start spouting a bunch of bullshit, let me finish my train of thought. This leaves a good deal of responsibility resting on your shoulders. I'm getting older, Ricky. There's not much else to say. I'm going to need a successor. If you allow yourself to have a little dignity, I want to train you for the Don’s seat. What do you say?” My dad folded his hands. His index finger spun the gold family ring he proudly never took off.

Ricky’s eyes creased with suspicion. He squinted, trapped in heavy thought. “What kind of trap are you setting up for me, little brother?” he finally asked.

“No tricks. It's all yours. I think you'd make a great Don. Make this family proud, Ricky. You deserve it,” I said. I didn't always like my brother, but he was blood to me. He was part of my insane family. Overall, I had respect for the man who got dealt a hand of shitty cards. Maybe this time he could start over. Like me. He could find a way to make this all work for him. All it took was stumbling into the right café.