Ride To The Edge (Lucifer's Saints MC) (Rough Riders MC Series Book 4) (6 page)

Unlike Talia, she wore her heart on her sleeve. She was the softer side of my old lady that I had been dying to expose though she wanted no part of it. How I wished at that moment she could be more like her half-sister. Everyone had a weakness and I’d yet to find hers yet but I vowed before the end of the year, she would belong to me.

Heart, mind, body
and
soul.

I
knew how Hardy felt about me practicing but the band and I had a few more shows before I officially took off for maternity leave and we went back into the studio.

Although it wasn’t the best atmosphere for a child, I always kept Kaelan close. He was at the moment being walked around the venue with Gisela, who had immediately taken to him as if he were one of her own children but I could see him in the distance enjoying himself while I sang my lyrics of venom not fit for a child or anyone under the age of consent.

You needed me,

Yet you cheated me,

With every word you say,

How could you?

Why would you,

Treat me this way?

I love you but I hate you.

And you’re in my way,

So fuck off please!

‘Cause I’m tired of your charade.

Kris crooned his lead guitar like it was a mistress while Seth did his thing with his rhythm guitar, and Linx played his bass like an old lover. They complimented the fierce beat of Niko’s heavy-handed fondling of the drums. My angry words formed a chorus meant to nail how I felt home.

I don’t want anything from you,

Not when you threw it all away.

So stop saying you’re sorry,

We both know who got in the way.

I can’t blame all this on you,

‘Cause baby we both wanted to play.

So stop saying you’re sorry

I don’t care what you have to say anyway.

It’s over, and I’m glad I don’t have to wake up to your face.

Yeah, you were damn good but the one I have now could never be replaced.

You’re just a little boy,

Pretendin’ to be a man.

Why can’t you understand?

I’m over us!

The song ended with a crazy riff, steady rhythm guitar and bass play with heavy drumbeats before it faded away. I could still feel the emotions pulling me in two different directions as the little one kicked me in the ribs for good measure.

Without fail, any time I had a doubt about her father, she would hurt me as if to say, “You stupid bitch—don’t ruin my life before I get out!”

I chuckled to myself. “Let’s take a lunch break, guys.”

“Didn’t you want to practice Katy Perry’s ‘E.T.’ since you’re ending the concert with it?” Seth questioned snidely.

“Nope. I could sing that song in my sleep. If you don’t wanna do the Kanye part then Linx can. He sounds more like a rapper than you anyway.” I began to walk off the stage as Seth grabbed one of my arms.

“Let go of me,” I snapped.

“Fine, Linx can do the Kanye part but . . .” he trailed off and looked past me.

I glared in the direction he was staring to see a pissed off Gisela holding Kaelan tightly to her while Jaden and Faith stood several feet away from her.

“God, you were always such a fucking coward,” I murmured under my breath in Seth’s direction. “Is it no wonder why I dumped you?”

I took the stairs carefully but strode down the walkway like I owned the coliseum. How dare he just show up with that skank and think he could see Kaelan any time he wanted!

For God’s sake, he had no parental rights!

As far as the law was concerned, Kaelan belonged to Hardy and me.

I approached warily, not knowing what he and his emotional vampire of a girlfriend—oops, fiancée, since he’d broke the news on Octane XM Radio he was engaged to be married to the bitch and they were expecting their first child. I supposed he failed to count all the kids she threw away via abortion but hey, it was his life to live, and I wanted no fucking part of it.

Gisela saw me approach, and in true lawyer form, she stepped between me and the two fucking assholes I wanted out of my workspace. One was a former drug addicted liar who’d played me for a fool and the other was a cum bucket, trash-talking skank that didn’t even deserve to be in my presence.

“Both of you need to leave,” I said without any preamble. “You’re not allowed to be here and you have absolutely no right to see Kaelan.”

“Just because I’m having Jaden’s baby doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a relationship with Kaelan.” Faith’s tone lacked warmth as she patted her belly. Apparently she was further along than I’d known since she had a sizeable bump.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Kaelan and you both know it.” I could feel my blood pressure rising and I knew it wasn’t good for the baby. I didn’t want to suffer from preeclampsia and the stress between seeing my ex with the woman he’d decided was better than me after all wasn’t working.

“Listen,” Gisela interrupted gently as she placed a firm hand on my back while still holding Kaelan in her other arm. “This is not the time nor the place for this discussion. If you want to see your son, Jaden, I advise you to pursue legal avenues rather than threaten your ex—who is also pregnant—and can’t take the stress of having you around.”

“Fuck off, you stupid bitch!” Jaden shouted in her face. “You think I don’t know what happened—how I don’t even have rights to my kid anymore because that
cunt
you’re comforting took my parental rights away! When were you gonna tell me Hardy adopted our son, Tal? Yeah, never, that’s when you no good, man-eating whore.”

That’s all I needed to hear before I absolutely went mental. “Oh? I’m a whore now? Not that cock sucking, toxic-waste bitch beside you? The only reason we’re not together is because you didn’t want to make a choice, Jaden. You wanted us both, and I’m not good with sharing. You might have strung me along for a while but it’s
over
! And yes, I did have my husband adopt Kaelan because he’s a better influence on our son than you could ever be you twisted, weak son of a bitch!”

“What the hell is going on?” a voice roared. I didn’t even have to turn around to know it was Hardy. Not only had be brought back up in the form of Cillian and Trey but all three men looked pissed off. The fact that Jaden was brothers with two of the men while the other was his uncle didn’t bode well for him.

Faith visibly flinched. Her auburn hair with blonde highlights looked a little dull as her complexion turned fish-belly white and her gray-green eyes paled. She held tighter to Jaden but with his stereotypical, lean rocker form, he couldn’t hold a candle to the three men facing him who were all in much better physical condition than he was. Their bodies were built, muscles visibly seen through the jeans and t-shirts they wore. They’d left their cuts off but it didn’t matter. One would have to be dumb and blind to not know they were in a motorcycle club.

Tattoos snaked up and down their arms, they all had tans from the weather and riding on their Harleys, and the heat emanating from their bodies did nothing but exude intimidation and trouble for anyone who happened to get in their way.

I knew Hardy had a meeting with Brad, head of the Knights MC Vegas charter earlier that day but he had also been by to see Eve, my aunt. She never left him in a good mood and he was aching to take that aggression out on anything or
anyone
.

My eyes wandered toward Gisela who stood stoic yet strong as Hardy gently took Kaelan from her arms. She had twins of her own in a pram she was keeping an eye on but that no longer became an issue once her old man stood not even a few feet from her. Cillian was much more protective of his wife than any blood brother or club member for that matter. After all, it was common knowledge they would one day run all of Lucifer’s Saints together. Their unity could not be denied, and neither could the trust and respect they had for one another.

“Listen, I just came by to see my kid, all right?” Jaden walked backwards a bit, holding on to Faith for dear life. “I didn’t realize that was crime.”

“It is when you have no say over said kid,” Trey replied though his intense eyes were hidden behind a pair of blacker-than-black Ray-Bans. “Listen,
bro
, Kaelan isn’t yours anymore. That whole deal ended when the courts got involved. He may be your son, technically, but you have no rights to him what so ever. Respect your uncle—our uncle—and allow him to raise his family in peace.”

“What? So I’m supposed to roll over like you did like a little bitch?” Jaden shouted as his face turned puce with anger. “You might have let that son of bitch keep your daughter just so family secrets wouldn’t spill out but I won’t go quietly—I fuckin’ swear I will make you all pay.”

“I didn’t let anything happen,” Trey continued calmly. “The child you are referencing to was born in wedlock to Cillian and his ex ol’ lady. I
don’t
have any parental rights and that’s why I got myself an ol’ lady who is pregnant with our child. Looks like yours is in the family way too. Leave it at that, Jaden. What ever kind of rights you
might
have earned in the past when it came to Kaelan ended a while ago. You made your choice and now you have to live with it. No use makin’ Tal and Hardy suffer for your stupidity.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Faith exclaimed though her voice lacked any conviction. She rubbed her stomach for emphasis as if she feared the big, bad bikers might attack her in her present condition.

“Actually, Trey knows exactly what he’s talking about.” Hardy finally spoke.

I looked at him while those gorgeous crystal blue eyes grew hard with certainty. He was tired of the games. He seemed much older than his thirty-plus years—not in the looks department but the way he held his stance, claimed the power his position in the family gave him, and wouldn’t dare back down to a little fucking puppet like his nephew.

When he walked over and took Gisela’s place in comforting me by placing his hand tight around my growing bump, I immediately felt safe. He had that calming effect on me that no other man ever had. He made me feel protected and adored—he truly wanted me to take a back seat to him but not because he was a bully. He considered himself a strong man with good core values, and with him, I didn’t have to be strong all the time. I didn’t have to be the HBIC—head bitch in charge. I could relax and feel like a woman who needed someone to balance the rage and anger that sometimes took over me to the point where I couldn’t see through it.

He was perfect for me and perhaps that’s why it hurt me even more that I couldn’t tell him I loved him, and appreciated everything he did for me. I was afraid the bubble might burst and I would be left with another shit relationship like I had with both Seth and Jaden.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew it didn’t make any sense. I’d married the man for Christ’s sake and we were expecting a child of our own. Hardy was cold, calculating, aggressive, cruel and with a mean streak a mile long. He lacked the ability to forgive trespasses against him and he believed in vengeance—an eye for an eye. It was the reason why he and Ronan ran the Vegas Lucifer’s Saints charter with such precision and skill.

However, he never acted that way with me. He treated me like I was the most precious part of his life and his love for me extended to Kaelan as well. Despite not even giving a damn about his nephew, he could love that child because he was a part of me, and he treated him like his own son. One day, if I was lucky, I wanted to give him a son that would be completely his and seal the deal between us. I was tired of the back and forth. Did I or didn’t I love him? It wasn’t a difficult question but one I couldn’t seem to answer.