Ricochet (73 page)

finally opened the door.

"Okay, but this doesn't mean I believe you,"

he said firmly.

Sean stepped into the house, and Matt noticed

that he had Rick's long, loping stride and broad-

shouldered swagger. Matt showed him into the

dining room, and they both sat at the table.

"It really is good to finally meet you, Matt,"

Sean said softly. His eyes flickered to Matt's neck,

and he gave a little whistle. "I see my boy collared

you, so it must be serious."

"It is," Matt said stiffly.

"I knew he was crazy about you when I saw

him a few months back. I haven't seen him get so

protective of a sub in years. The only thing I don't

understand is why it took him so long to put his

collar around your neck."

"He had some things to figure out first. You

know… the demons you gave him."

Sean gave a little grunt, but he didn't rise to

the bait. "Well, I'm glad he has you. I'll be able to

rest easy, knowing he's got someone in his life to

take care of him."

"Something he never had growing up," Matt

said relentlessly.

Sean gave a wry little smile. "Maybe I

deserve that. I don't know. We did have some fun

times together, me and Rick, but I guess he prefers

to remember the fights. We can both be stubborn

and bull-headed, but I always loved him."

"Really?" Matt raised a skeptical eyebrow.

Sean sighed. "Oh, Matt - you have no idea

how much I love that kid. He's my boy, my chip off

the old block. I adore him. When he started going

off the rails as a teenager, I tried my best to help

him. In the end, I resorted to tough love, and I

guess he's always resented me for that."

"You threw him out on the street!"

"He was impossible to handle - all the

drinking, the parties, and all the different subs he

brought home. I thought it was the right thing to do

at the time - I hoped it might wake him up to

himself, but he's always held it against me."

Matt crossed his arms over his chest. "That's

not how Rick tells it."

"Well, there are always two sides to any

story." Sean shrugged. "But you know Rick - he's

always been a handful."

Matt frowned. He'd always thought Rick had

only turned into a rampant party animal after he got

out of jail, when he was trying to run and hide from

the person he'd once been. Sean was making it

sound like Rick's clubbing and one-night stands

had been the reason he'd thrown his son out in the

first place.

"I'm sure you've got him tamed now," Sean

said. "If any sub could manage it, I bet it's a little

firecracker like you."

"You said something about Rick's mom?"

Matt asked, trying to get the conversation back on

track.

Sean nodded. "I know where she's buried. I

thought Rick might like to know too, so he can go

and pay his respects."

He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and

pushed it across the table towards Matt. Matt

glanced at it, to find the name and address of a

cemetery about an hour's drive away.

"So she is dead then," Matt said, wondering

how Rick would take this news.

"Yes, she's dead. You saw what was in that

box."

"I think maybe, Rick had a thought… a

hope… that she left it there herself… no, it's

stupid." Matt shook his head.

"Damn it - I didn't even consider he might

take it that way! The poor kid! You have to put him

out of his misery, Matt. Take him to her grave, so

he can see for himself."

"Look, don't you… I don't know, want money

for this, or something?" Matt flushed, but from

what he understood of Rick's father, that was how

he operated - wasn't it?

"No, Matt." Sean looked wounded. "I don't

know what Rick's told you about me, but I could

have asked for money for the box, and I didn't. I

think that tells you something, doesn't it?"

"Maybe, but why didn't you give Rick those

cards when he was growing up?" Matt demanded.

"Why didn't you tell him his mom was dead?"

Sean sighed. "He was just a little kid, Matt! I

didn't want to upset him that way. I always figured

I'd give him the box on his 18th birthday, but he

spent that locked up, and he refused to let me visit,

so…" He shrugged.

"You could have given it to him at any point

in the fourteen years since then," Matt pointed out

sharply.

"Yes, I could - and I should have done that."

Sean looked down and examined his own hands

for a moment, clearly struggling with something.

Then he looked up again. "See, Matt - for a long

time, I was angry with Rick for blaming all his

problems on me, so I didn't want anything to do

with him. That was wrong of me. I know he won't

see me after all that's happened between us, but I

wanted him to have that box before I die. It's been

on my conscience, see."

"Why didn't you give him the box yourself?

Why leave it on the doorstep?"

Sean gave a bitter little smile. "Oh, he

wouldn't have opened it if he'd known it was from

me. You know that, Matt."

"I guess not." Matt felt himself wavering.

Everything Sean was saying was entirely

plausible.

"Anyway, I might have failed with Rick, but

I'm trying to be a better parent this time around,

with Sarah." Sean gave a softer smile this time, as

he said her name.

"Sarah? She's Rick's sister?"

"Yeah, and she's a real sweetie. I hope you

and Rick will meet her one day - maybe not until

after I'm gone though, knowing how Rick feels

about me. Me and John - that's my husband - we

wanted a child so much. John insisted that we went

to the temple, and, well, I admit I was skeptical,

but they were fantastic. Sarah is so special."

"Sarah is temple born?" Matt leaned forward.

He was always interested when he heard of

another temple born child. They were relatively

rare, and it was like belonging to a special little

club. He wondered if Sarah shared his sense of

obligation and duty through the circumstances of

her birth, and if she carried it around as the same

great weight on her shoulders that he'd always felt

it to be on his.

"Yup! My husband is pretty religious. I'm not

but…" Sean shrugged. "We get along okay. He's a

good man. I know he'll take good care of Sarah

when I'm gone."

Matt wasn't sure whether to believe any of

this. He'd heard plenty of bullshit working in the

film industry, but this was an elaborate story to

make up if it wasn't true - and what was the point?

What did Sean hope to gain by this?

"Why are you here?" he asked quietly. "What

do you want, Sean?"

"I came here to make sure Rick opened the

box and to give you that address. See, I'd like to

patch things up with my son before I die."

"If you want me to speak to him on your

behalf, then the answer's no," Matt told him. "I

can't do that, Sean."

"Hell no!" Sean shook his head vehemently. "I

wouldn't involve you in our quarrel in that way,

Matt. In fact, there's no reason for you to even tell

him I was here."

"I'm not going to lie to him!"

"Oh, I wasn't suggesting that," Sean said,

looking wounded. "But he must be feeling pretty

raw right now after looking through that box. I

know he and I don't get along, but he's not ready to

hear about my illness just yet. He needs a few days

first, to get his head around his mom, before I hit

him with this. I thought I'd call back on Thursday if

that's okay with you? Then you can let me know

how he's getting along and if the time is right for

me to tell him about my illness. I'll let you be the

judge of that." He leaned forward and patted Matt's

hand. "It might be too late in the day, but I'm

genuinely trying to take care of my boy now, son. I

really am."

"Right," Matt said slowly.

"So would that be okay?" Sean asked. "Just

hold off on telling him I was here for a few days?"

Matt began counting down backwards from

one thousand automatically in his head. It all

sounded harmless enough. Sean was only thinking

of Rick's welfare; he didn't want the news of his

father's illness to blindside him so soon after

hearing about his mom. Surely that was okay? Matt

couldn't see any angle for Sean in it. He wasn't

asking Matt to do anything except not mention his

visit. He wasn't asking for money, or information,

or anything else Finally, Matt nodded.

"Thank you, Matt." Sean got to his feet. "Rick

made a good choice when he collared you; I can

tell you really care about him."

Matt showed him out of the house and then

shut the door behind him and leaned on it, his heart

thudding.

Then he realized he had another problem. He

couldn't let Rick torture himself about the

possibility of his mom still being alive. He had to

tell him where she was buried - but how could he

do that without revealing that Sean had been here

and told him?

Matt began counting compulsively, trying to

figure out what to do.

When Rick got back from his run, he found

Matt standing in the living room, dressed in a

black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. There

was a small bag at his feet.

"Wow, you're looking pretty formal. It's hot -

I like it." Rick flashed his sub a grin and was going

to haul him in for a kiss when Matt stopped him.

"You need to go and take a shower and get

changed," Matt said quietly. "We have to go

somewhere."

"Where?" Rick frowned. "Matt - what's going

on?" Matt's eyes were flickering, and he was

clearly counting. "Matt…" Rick took another step

towards him, feeling worried.

"It's your mom. I was worried about what you

said, so I did some research, online." Matt waved

his hand vaguely in the direction of his laptop.

"And I found out where she's buried." Rick stared

at him. "I'm sorry, Rick. I know you were maybe

hoping that she was still alive, but…"

"No. Not really. I think I knew," Rick said

quietly. "You found her grave?"

"Yes. It's not far away - an hour's drive

maybe."

Rick went upstairs and took a shower, letting

the warm water pound on his shoulders. He felt

tired in so many ways, more emotionally than

physically. He wondered if he'd really believed

his mom was still alive, or if it had just been the

childish hope of a five year old boy, unable to let

go of the mom he'd loved.

He finished in the shower, shaved, cleaned

his teeth, and went back out into the bedroom. Matt

held up an outfit for him - black suit, shirt, and tie.

"I know it's kind of formal just to visit a

grave, but you said you didn't get to go to her

funeral, so I thought…"

"It's a good thought, Matt - thank you," Rick

said quietly.

Matt drove them to the cemetery in his car,

while Rick gazed out of the window. He had cried

out so much of his grief in the night that he didn't

have any left now. He just felt dazed.

They left the car in the cemetery parking lot,

and Rick paused by a flower stall and bought a

single white rose before they walked into the

cemetery together. They walked for a few minutes

- Rick didn't really pay much attention to where

they were going; he just followed Matt.

"It's over here," Matt said, reading from the

directions on his tablet computer. Rick nodded and

strode off in the direction he was pointing.

"Where now?" Rick stopped and looked

around.

"It's right here." Matt pointed to an overgrown

grave, covered in weeds so high they almost

completely obscured the gravestone.

Rick knelt down and pulled them aside, to

reveal the name:

Julie Ann Emerson. Born April 6, 1953. Died July

18, 1983. Adored daughter of Belle and Andrea.

Mother of one beautiful, beloved son, Richard.