Ricochet (46 page)

Maybe it was Rick's presence that changed

everything. He'd created the illusion and imbued it

with so much dominant energy that it had meaning.

Without him, there was nothing.

Yet Rick was an illusion too. The strong,

masterful dom of last night had given way to the

idiot who had skipped out of the playroom this

morning, tapping out a beat on his own bottom.

Nothing was real.

Matt decided that his last duty as a slave was

to clean up. He put the toys away, cleaned up the

oil, stripped the sheets from the bed and left them

in a neat pile on the floor.

When he was done, he stood in front of the

mirror and gazed at the scarlet collar around his

neck. That wasn't real, either. It was just a toy, like

everything else in this room - a means to an end, a

way to build an illusion. He wasn't anyone's sub; it

was all acting.

Matt unbuckled the collar and removed it

from his neck. His throat felt bare and empty

without it, but Rick probably gave play collars to

all his sexual conquests. Like everything else in

this room, it was meaningless.

Matt placed the collar on the bed, and then,

with one last, sad look around, he left.

He could smell coffee brewing and could

hear Rick whistling loudly from the direction of

the kitchen, and he felt suddenly shy as he walked

down the stairs. Rick had seen into his soul last

night and witnessed his most private fantasies.

He'd seen him with his legs wide open, hanging

helplessly in a position of abject humiliation. How

would they cross back from being the people

they'd been last night into the people they were

every day on the
Collar Crime
set? Was it even

possible?

Matt paused in the kitchen doorway to see

Rick standing in the center of the room, juggling

three big oranges while singing,
You want to spank

me, and you know it!
at full pitch. His hair was

still damp, but he'd shaved and was dressed in

jeans and a loose green shirt.

"Hey," Matt said quietly.

Rick dropped an orange and then made a

frantic dive to catch the other two before they

plummeted to the floor too. Had this really been

the man who had topped him so superbly last

night? It hardly seemed possible that Master

Richard and Rick were the same person.

"Hey!" Rick threw the oranges onto the

counter. "You okay?" He looked Matt up and

down.

"Yes. Fine." Matt edged into the kitchen,

feeling all kinds of wrong. "Um, I think maybe I

should leave."

Rick looked crestfallen. "Why? You haven't

even had breakfast yet! You must be starving. I bet

you didn't eat yesterday before coming over here.

In fact, you probably barely ate a thing all day.

Nerves - yes?"

"Yes." How did Rick have that knack of

knowing him so well?

"Then stay and eat. I have loads." Rick waved

his hand at the counter, which was covered in

bread, croissants, rolls, packs of bacon, a dish full

of eggs, and a variety of different cereal packets. "I

wasn't sure what you'd want, so I got everything."

Rick gave him a blinding grin, and Matt realized

he'd got all this for him yesterday, with the

expectation that he'd stay for breakfast today.

"Okay. Well, bacon and eggs and toast sound

good," he said, not having the heart to leave now.

"Cool! I'll cook!" Rick shoved a couple of

slices of bread in the toaster and began breaking

eggs into a bowl.

"Rick…" Matt hesitated, and Rick looked up

at him. "This isn't going to be weird, is it? I

mean… after what we did all night. Will it be

weird now at work? Or just… you know, being

us? Are we going to be okay?"

"Sure we are, Matty!" Rick came over and

feinted a prod at Matt's abdomen. Matt

automatically doubled up and shoved him away at

the same time, like he always did. He thought of

the man he'd slept with last night, who had

demanded the right to touch his body in so many

intimate ways, and he felt a pang of sadness.

"We're still us! It was a one-time deal,

remember." Rick grinned.

"Yes. I remember." Matt's belly gnawed with

emptiness.

"Did it work?" Rick asked. "How do you feel

about doing the sex scene tomorrow now, Matty?

Did it help?"

"Oh. Right. Yes. The sex scene." That had

been the reason for last night - he'd almost

forgotten. He waited for the familiar anxious

sensation that he always got when thinking about

the sex scene… but nothing came. He shot Rick a

cautious smile. "You know… I think it did help. I

understand now - I understand Ben more. I

understand… submission, sub-space - all those

things more now." He waved a hand in the air.

"It was better than waiting on all those dull as

fuck service doms, huh?" Rick winked at him.

"Much better." Matt grinned back at him.

"Exponentially better."

"So it worked for you?" Rick swung a

nonchalant towel over his shoulder and returned to

the eggs.

"You know it did. You were there, you could

feel it. Rick - that was like nothing I've ever

experienced before. It blew me away."

Rick looked up from where he was whisking

the eggs, a happy glow in his eyes. "I'm so glad,

Matty. I knew I could do it - I knew I could show

you what you were missing and make it good for

you. Not that it was easy - I had to really think it

through and plan for it - but I felt I'd got into your

head and got it right. I did, didn't I?"

He

was

like

some

over-excited

Newfoundland puppy; all desperate tail wagging

and wide smile.

"Yes, you did."

"I knew it!" Rick did a happy dance around

the room with the bowl full of whisked eggs and

ended up at the pan. He threw the eggs in, and they

began sizzling.

Matt stared at him. It was so hard reconciling

this Rick with his commanding seducer from last

night. "Who are you really?" he said quietly.

Rick glanced up. "What?"

"I thought I knew you, but you were someone

totally different last night."

"I'm an actor!" Rick grinned at him.

"No." Matt went over to him. "There were

times when it wasn't acting, Rick. There were

times when it was real. You know that." He

remembered their first kiss, when he'd been

panicking in the sling after shouting out his

safeword, and how Rick's lips on his had calmed

him. There was no way that had been acting.

Rick's eyes darkened. "Look, Matty, I was

being who you needed me to be."

"Maybe. Or being who you've forgotten to be,

or who you're frightened to be?"

Rick turned and there was a darkness in his

expression that made Matt shrink away. "No," he

said brusquely. He seemed to catch himself and

smiled brightly, covering his mistake. "C'mon - it

was just acting, Matt!"

Matt stared at him, confused. Rick grabbed

three unbroken eggs from the bowl and threw one

of them into the air. "Want to see if I can juggle

eggs?"

"Was it last night that was the acting?" Matt

asked quietly. "Or is this the acting, Rick?"

Rick put the eggs back in the bowl and turned

to stare at him, and he didn't look like Rick now

but someone else - someone much darker. They

stared at each other, neither of them speaking, the

air charged with tension.

A smell of burning broke through and caught

their attention, and Matt rushed forward and

grabbed the pan off the stove.

"Idiot!" he said, throwing the pan into the

sink, where it sizzled furiously.

"Yeah." Rick grinned, looking pleased with

himself. "That's me; a total idiot!"

"No, it isn't!" Matt yelled in frustration. "I've

seen you, Rick - I've seen the real you, the one you

try so hard to hide, and you're no idiot. So why do

you pretend all the time? What's with the big act?"

"Aw, is Matty mad at me? Hey, sweetheart,

you know I'm always goofing off. It's what I do.

Easy come, easy go. That's who I am!"

"Fine - have it your own way," Matt snapped.

"That other person, the one you hide all the time -

he's the one I'd stay for. If all that's on offer is the

idiot, then I'm going to have breakfast at home." He

turned and strode towards the door.

"Matt - wait." It was Rick's voice, but not

Rick-the-idiot. Matt turned, to see Rick wasn't

smiling anymore. "I'm sorry. You're right, and you

deserve more. Please… stay?"

Rick reached out a hand, and Matt gazed at

him uncertainly. Rick looked different all over

again now. He wasn't the idiot, but he wasn't

Richard, the businessman master from last night,

either. He might be the caring but forceful dom

who'd leaned over Matt when he'd been in the

sling and kissed him into submission though. That's

who Matt felt he was right now.

Matt took a step forward and accepted the

offered hand, and Rick squeezed.

"What we did last night was intense," Rick

told him. "And I wouldn't want any sub going home

after that without me keeping them close for a

while to check on them. It's… a dom thing." He

gave a tight little smile.

"Is this what you do with all the subs you

bring home?" Matt asked, pulling his hand away.

"No, because I never usually play a scene the

way we did last night. Usually it's just…" Rick ran

a hand through his hair. "Well, a lot faster and less

elaborate. I don't usually make the effort."

"Why?"

Rick shifted. "Because I'm not comfortable in

my dom-space," he said quietly. "So I just play at

it."

Matt was surprised by his brutal honesty.

"You seemed pretty comfortable in your dom-

space last night."

"I was, but generally speaking, I prefer to

keep it on the surface rather than dig too deep."

"Because you think you'll screw up?" Matt

could understand that because that was how he

always felt.

"No, because I can get into your head, find

your fantasies, and play with them to make you…"

Rick paused. "Care about me," he finished.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Everything." Rick gave a wan smile. "Look,

Matt, I did some things when I was younger -

things I'm not proud of. So, I try to keep those

demons at bay by being the way I am now. It's

safer."

Matt frowned. "For you?"

"For everyone," Rick said firmly.

"You weren't unsafe with me last night. You

were good, Rick. Hell, you were great, but you

already know that. I didn't see any glimpse of a

dark side. You aren't an angry or abusive dom."

"They aren't those kinds of demons," Rick

said quietly.

Matt stared at him, struggling to understand.

"This isn't about you losing control and hurting a

sub?"

"No. I would never, ever do that."

"Then I don't understand. If it's not about

being an abusive dom…"

"It isn't. Not like that anyway." Rick gave an

apologetic smile. "Look, Matty - last night you

gave me everything I asked for and more, and

today the dom in me needs to take care of you.

Will you let me do that? Give me today? I promise

I won't goof off on you. I just need to bring us both

safely back down. I don't own you, and I'm not

making any claims on you."

"Last night that's all you did."

"Last night was a scene," Rick said sharply.

"But it was an intense scene, and we both need to

decompress. Will you spend the day here?

Tomorrow everything can go back to normal - I

promise."

Matt wasn't sure how anything could go back

to normal, but he was too intrigued by this new

Rick to leave now.

"Okay." He walked over to the kitchen table

and sat down, giving a little hiss as his sore ass

made contact with the hard chair.

"Still feeling it, huh?" Rick gave a wry grin.

"Yes, and, you know - ow!" Matt shifted,