Rhythm of Us: Book 2 Of The Fated Hearts Series (13 page)

“I’ll be fine, little brother. You go do what you need to do and don’t worry about me. I’m just going to lay around, watch some trashy daytime talk shows, and read a book. Oh, have you seen Gram’s new vampire cover? The main character on the book cover looks a whole lot like Gray.” Ellie giggled softly. “I’m sure Gray does plenty of sucking, but I bet it’s not
bloodsucking
.”

“Jesus, El, you’ve been hanging around Gram too much.” I burst into laughter over her bawdy words and waggling eyebrows.

“Your laughter is music to my ears, Xavier. You know, I’m not the only one who looks a hell of a lot better today. That must have been some phone call you had with Ben last night.” Ellie gave me a lecherous wink.

“It lasted ten minutes tops,” I said dismissively. “My mood today has nothing to do with Ben and everything to do with taking back my life and moving forward.” I looked at the time on the microwave and gratefully saw that it was time to get my ass in gear. “Oh, look at the time,” I said to Ellie, who shook her head in exasperation at my avoidance. Besides, I had somewhere important to be, I just hoped I could be the man everyone thought I was - the person I felt I was becoming with every positive step in my recovery.

“Hello Lindsey,” I said, shaking the small woman’s hand after Miss Annette introduced us in her office. “It’s nice to meet you. I asked Miss Annette if we could talk in her office before you introduce me to Max. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with everything. In fact, I want you to sit in while I talk to your son.”

“Thank you, Xavier,” her relief was palpable. “It isn’t that I don’t trust Miss Annette’s judgment, but Max is all I have in this world and I can’t screw this up. I need him to be happy and healthy.”

“I completely understand and I just want to tell you that Max is so lucky to have you for a mom. I know this already and we just met less than five minutes ago. What kind of questions do you have for me?”

“I think I’m going to step out and give you guys some time to talk alone. Let me know when you want me to bring in Max.” Miss Annette patted me on the shoulder as she left the room.

“I have more concerns than I do questions,” Lindsey told me when we were alone. “I’m concerned about Max getting hurt at school if he chooses to wear feminine looking clothes in the fall. I worry about finding the right balance between allowing Max to discover himself and protecting him. Does that make sense to you?”

“It makes perfect sense, Lindsey. It would be completely abnormal for you
not
to worry about his safety and well-being. I’m not an expert on children, but I can tell you how
I
felt when I was his age and wanted to wear my sister’s clothes.” Lindsey nodded so I told her how I had liked the textures and feel of girl’s clothes against my skin. I explained that I was fascinated by sparkly accessories and nail polish. “I never felt like I was a girl inside a boy’s body, but some kids do feel that way. That is what you need to determine about Max at some point. There is a lot of good literature out there to help parents with children who identify with a different gender than they were born with and it would be a good place to start.”

I knew that Lindsey had to be feeling overwhelmed, because I certainly was and Max wasn’t my son, but I knew that with the right information and the love I could clearly see on her face for her son that everything would work out fine. I would gladly be a willing listener for Lindsey if she wanted someone to talk to or confess her fears. My biggest fear when I was Max’s age was facing my father’s wrath, but Max wouldn’t know that fear. Not with a mother like Lindsey.

“That’s a good idea, Xavier. Thank you.” She blew out a breath. “When did you know that you were a gay boy who just liked to wear girl’s clothes occasionally? How will I know if Max identifies as a straight boy, gay boy, bi-sexual boy, or a girl?” Lindsey’s worry was evidenced in the frown lines on her forehead and the downturn tilt of her mouth.

“He’ll let you know when he knows,” I replied honestly. “I always knew I was different than most boys and I think it’s something that you inherently know, but I knew for sure that I liked boys on the first day of first grade when I laid eyes on Mr. Williams. I crushed so hard on him the entire year,” I said with a laugh.

“You must have gotten picked on in school though, right? How did you handle it?” The worry in her voice carried through to her eyes as she looked at me. It was obvious to me that Max getting bullied was one of her biggest concerns. She didn’t have to worry about bullying at Miss Annette’s preschool, but Lindsey logically was less confident about how Max would be treated once he started kindergarten. Not everyone was as kind and accepting as Miss Annette, who had a zero tolerance policy for bullying. If only there were more people like Miss Annette in the world.

“Gram signed me up for piano lessons and art classes so I had a healthy outlet for my anger and frustration over not fitting in, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I love music more than life and I can’t imagine not having it in my life.”

“Thank you for your honesty, Xavier. Are you ready to meet Max?” I could see she felt lighter after our conversation and it made me feel really good inside.

“Definitely.”

Lindsey opened the door and motioned for Miss Annette to bring Max in. Lindsey stepped aside and lively little Max skipped into the classroom and stopped when he saw me sitting there. “Max, this is Xavier and I asked him to come and meet you today. Can you say hi?” Miss Annette asked as she kneeled down next to him, bringing herself down to his level to ease any discomfort he might have been feeling by having a stranger in the room with him.

Max looked at his mom, Miss Annette, and then finally locked his innocent eyes on me. “Hi Xavier,” he said softly.

“Hi Max.” I stuck my hand out and he hesitantly shook it. “I like your shirt.” I pointed to the light pink shirt with a unicorn and rainbow emblazoned on the front of it.

“You do?” He pulled his shirt away from his body and looked down at it. “Tyler said only girls and fairies wear shirts like this.”

“I don’t know who this Tyler person is, but I’ve known plenty of people like him my whole life, Max. You can’t let Tyler ruin your day and take away your joy over wearing a shirt you love. Okay?”

“Okay, Xavier.” Max nodded his blond head in conviction and gave me a genuine smile.

I talked to Max for another thirty minutes or more about anything he wanted to talk about. He was an amazing kid and I enjoyed the time I spent with him and his mom. I exchanged phone numbers with Lindsey before I left and made her promise to call me if she or Max had any more questions or just wanted to talk. I’d do anything I could to help them. I was confident when I left Miss Annette’s preschool that Max would be okay, because he had a mom who would love and support him wherever life took him.

I shook all over from an adrenaline rush after my ninety minute kickboxing session, which was basically me getting my ass kicked. It felt so good to be doing something to take control of my life. It was exactly what I needed, but the side effect of the spiked adrenaline and testosterone had me doing something really fucking stupid.

I tried to convince myself I was just driving by his house to make sure he made it home safe and that I wasn’t going to pull into his drive and knock on his door. Fuck, who was I trying to kid? I needed an outlet to release my adrenaline and I trusted him, nothing more and nothing less.

I shut off my car and jogged up to his front door reminiscent of a few nights before, but this time the emotions singeing my nerve endings had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with lust. I rang his doorbell and didn’t have to wait long for him to open the door. Like the first time, I shoved him inside his house and slammed the door behind me. Ben’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared when he so easily read the heat and need in my eyes.

“I need . . .” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I didn’t want to cross that line.

“What do you need, Xavier?” He stepped so close to me I could feel the heat coming off of his body. “I need to hear the words so that there’s no confusion about what you
need
from me. Tell me and I will give you whatever it is that you need.”

Ben placed his hands lightly on either side of my neck, a move that would normally have me jerking away from his touch. This was Ben though, not a demon from my past, and he didn’t want to hurt me. I could see it in his eyes.

“I need to fuck you, Ben.” There, I said it and waited to see if he would give me what I needed like he said he would. Ben said nothing, instead he took me by the hand and led me up the stairs to his bedroom. My body shook so hard with need that it scared me a little.

“Take what you need from me, Xavier.” I pounced on him, kissing him as hard as I could while we tore our clothes off and tossed them in a heap. “Condoms and lubricant are in the drawer,” Ben said in between nibbles on my neck. He wrapped his big hand around my cock and stroked up and down, which only drove my need to stratospheric heights. “Are you going to make me cry from the pleasure you give me?” Ben asked me while he circled my piercing with the tip of his finger. I could hear his excitement in his voice.

“Like you’ve never felt before, Ben. Get on your hands and knees.” I fisted my hands tightly to keep them from shaking as I watched him climb onto his big bed and present his ass to me just like I asked him to. I grabbed the supplies out of the drawer and climbed up behind him, taking the time to appreciate Ben’s beautiful body. “You have a very sexy ass and I can’t wait to be inside it.”

“It’s all yours, Xavier.” Ben said breathlessly, but there was something else in his tone of voice – something I didn’t want to think about, at least not at that moment.

His words sent a thrilling shiver down my spine as I poured some lube on my fingers and rubbed them together to coat them well. Ben cried out my name when I slid a single finger inside his tight entrance, but it wasn’t a cry of discomfort, his tight heat sucked me in all the way to my knuckle. He began rocking back and forth, working his ass on my finger.

“More,” he urged, but Ben’s actions spoke louder than his words. I obliged him by adding a second finger, stroking soft and slow inside him. I curled my fingers, grazing his prostate and causing his breath to hiss out between his lips. “I’m ready,” he practically growled at me, his need evident in his actions and words.

“I’ll decide when you’re ready, Ben. You’re as tight as any virgin and you’ll need to be soft and pliable to receive the fucking I’m about to give you.” I watched as goosebumps popped up all over his golden skin with my whispered words. Scissoring my fingers inside him a few times before I pulled out completely, eliciting a moan from him. I placed my hand between his shoulder blades and gently pushed down until his forehead rested against the comforter. “Do not touch yourself, Ben, because you won’t need to.”

In this position I could see his firm, virile balls and straining erection dangling between his spread legs. If my need wasn’t so great I’d bathe every inch of him with my tongue. I rolled on the condom and spread more lubricant up and down the length of my erection before pressing the tip to his opening. I placed one hand on his hip and left the other on my cock while I fed my hard length inside his quivering hole.

The urge to drive deep inside him was almost too severe to ignore, but I kept a tight grip on my control and slowly worked him open until I buried my cock to the hilt. Ben’s scorching heat hugged my dick tight, making my eyes roll back in my head. Ben and I released matching guttural moans at the same time. Up until then, my piercing had just barely grazed his gland, but that soon changed. I pulled back until only the tip of my erection remained inside him.

"Xavier.” My name was part plea and part curse. “Take what you need.” I snapped my hips forward, aiming my cock at that glorious spot that would drive him to ecstasy after only a few strokes. “Fuck!” Ben roared and I knew I had hit my target.

I pounded into him time and time again, gritting my teeth and tensing my muscles in attempt to hold off my orgasm. I had one hand fisted in his hair and the other squeezing his hip so hard I would likely leave a red handprint.