Rewind (28 page)

The best choice I made after everything was agreeing that I needed to talk to a counselor.  Without her, Cade, my family, and friends, I would have never left my room.  “Up you go!” Cade had said after he flung the curtains open in my room since I was still staying with my parents.  He flipped the blankets off of me I screamed and kicked at him as he carried me over his shoulder into the bathroom.  His steel bicep securely holding me in place as the hot water steamed up the bathroom. 

“Put me down, put me down.”  I was panicking and punching his back. 

He put my feet on the tile floor and bent down so he was in my face, “You are going to your appointment today even if I have to fucking drag you there kicking and screaming.  Then we are going shopping, yes fucking shopping, then after that we are going to one of those beauty parlor places and you’re getting a haircut.”

“Fuck you, you can’t make me do any of that.”  His clothes were dripping wet. 

“I can and I fucking will.”

I tried to slap him but he caught my wrist, “I’m sorry that he did that to you Syd.  Trust me every fucking day I wish I would have killed him.  This is hard on all of us.  Do you know why I didn’t kill him?”  I shook my head no, “Because you, you,” he tapped his finger to my naked chest, “You can get better and you will get better.  Ronnie, well, for the rest of his life every time he takes a piss he’s going to remember what he did.  Who he fucked with, you are strong in here and here.” He pointed at my chest and then at my head.  “Now are you done trying to slap me?”

I threw myself at him and let the tears fall, “I’m so sorry.” I repeated over and over.  I pulled away and captured his lips with mine.  “I love you.” I whispered then kissed him again.  Oh how I had missed this, this man was my everything even when I tried to push him away.  He always waited patiently, loving me from a distance, loving me when I was pretty sure the rest of the world thought I was tarnished by what Ronnie had done to me. 

~~~~

-1 Year Later-

Present Time

“Okay watch us one more time then we will slow it down and get you started on your new routine.”  I smiled big at the eager high school squad that was watching Ryan, Theresa, and me as we danced to the newest dance mix.  Ryan hoisted me up, “Stop, put me down….hurry….” I said with wide eyes waiting for Ryan to catch me.  The very second my feet hit the floor I darted across the dance floor and puked into the nearby trash can. 

“Syd?”  Theresa walked over and rubbed my back as I dry heaved.  “You okay?  Never mind you’re puking of course you’re not.”  She laughed. 

Ryan instructed the high school squad to start practice.  He walked over with a wet paper towel and a Dixie cup of water.  “I have never seen you give me that look, you were ghost white.”  He said. 

I shook my head, “I got so dizzy up there, I swear this cold has me so messed up.  I’m swallowing enough snot I could make a Mucinex commercial.”

They both laughed then broke out in coughs, yep, we were all sharing the same stupid cold.  The antibiotics had done very little for any of us.  I finally gave in and called the doctor so I could get something different.  “Let us know what they put you on, if it helps you maybe it’ll work for us.”  Theresa pressed her hand against her forehead, “Ugg my fever is back.”  Ryan pressed his hand to his forehead, then hers, then mine.

“Okay both of you feel way too hot, go to the doctor, get some new meds and get some for me too.  I’m going to send this group home.  I’ll lock up and go home.”

Theresa and I hugged him before we left.  All the way to the clinic I was nauseated and Theresa couldn’t stop coughing.  Thankfully the lobby was empty and we each got put in a separate room while we waited for a doctor.  Theresa had text me and said they made her pee in a cup;

Theresa
:  I hate peeing in a cup!  Why do I have to do that for a cold anyways?  YUK!

Me
:  LOL, probably something viral. 

The nurse came in and handed me the plastic cup and told me to fill it to the line.  I finished my business washed my hands and carried the cup over to the little door and pressed the button to let them know it was ready.  The little metal door slid up and the cup was removed, I washed my hands again, splashed some cold water on my face and dried off. 

I had just sat back down on the exam table when I heard Theresa frantically yelling my name.  “Sydney…oh my…sorrrry…SYDNEY.”  She sounded like she was in full blown panic looking for me.  But as I started to open the door the doctor walked in, Theresa pushed past him and sat down in the little blue vinyl chair.  “Oh god, oh god.” She cradled her stomach and rocked back and forth.  “This … no.” 

The doctor cleared his throat, “Well Sydney, I understand you’re here for a cold?  As is your friend.”  He glanced over at Theresa then back at me. 

“Umm, yes.”  What the hell was wrong with Theresa.  She was pale, and crying so hard she was gagging. 

“Sydney, I’m not sure,” he looked at Theresa, “this is what you’ll want to hear.”

My blood thumping and pounding in my ears, his lips were moving but I couldn’t understand him.  “What?”  Every single bad sickness ran through my mind.  After Ronnie raped me,I went in religiously to be tested for STD’s.  The only thing I could think was wrong was AID’s and my stomach dropped at that thought. 

“I said you are pregnant.”  He annunciated each word. 

“Come again?”  I turned my head slightly, “Did, did you just say I’m.  Pregnant?  Like there’s a baby in here, inside this body?  Can you tell me how it got there?”  I asked. 

“Well, errmm, I would think at your age you both would know what causes this.  I understand you both were on the Depo shot, and have been religiously for some years now but…sometimes when you take an antibiotic it has the potential to cancel out the effectiveness of the birth control.”

Theresa was sobbing and I was speechless, “But what about Ryan?”

The doctor laughed, “Ryan?  Is that a man?”

I nodded frantically then realized what I had said, “Oh.”  I looked at Theresa and snapped my fingers at her, “Are you?  Is there a human in you too?” 

She was laugh crying, “Yes there’s a human in me too and Bryan put it there.”

“Oh.”

The doctor finally got his laughing under control, “Are you two okay to drive?  Or do I need to call somebody?”

Now it was my turn to start crying, big fat scared half to death that Cade was going to hate me, tears.  Scared that he was going to walk away.  “Ryan, I need him, we need him.”  I handed the doctor my phone.  Theresa and I both had went from being mature twenty two year old adults to blubbering teen age girls. 

When Ryan showed up he looked like he was about to have a break down, “What the hell do we have like a life threatening illness or something?  You both are, well, you both look like shit and are crying.  I could hear you sobbing when the doctor called me.”

Theresa laughed, “Humans, inside.”

Ryan paled, “Oh god, is it a brain eating emobi type thing?”

I sobbed laughed, “No.”

He threw his hands in the air, “Then what the fuck is wrong with us?”

I stood up and shushed him as we walked out of the lobby away from the glares of the office staff and two elderly patients.  “Sydney I swear to god, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing besides a cold for you, what Theresa and I have is not contagious.”

He stood there patiently waiting, then, the light flickered in his eyes, “Oh…oh, are you both like pregnant is that what she meant by humans inside?”

I nodded my head.  “Yep.” I popped the P.

“Whoa.”  He ran a hand through his thick hair then pulled us both into his broad muscled chest.  “I’m going to be an Uncle!”

Theresa didn’t think she could drive so Ryan took her home.  Cade had dropped me off so I didn’t have a vehicle, Ryan took me to Cade’s house and hugged me before I got out.  “I’m really happy for you both.”

Cade wasn’t in the work garage, or in the house, so that left him in only one place.  The workout room in the other garage.  I walked in and watched as he lifted the bench press bar off of the rack, lowered the three hundred pounds down to his chest and lifted it up again and again.  The sweat on his skin, the ripple of his biceps, and the bulging veins in his arms had me clenching my thighs together.  The clank of the bar being put back in place snapped me out of my sexual day dream, he wiped the sweat off of his face then looked up at me and smiled. 

“Hey Syd, you okay?”  I stopped by the gym but there was a note saying you all were gone for the day.  I couldn’t get ahold of Theresa and Ryan said the three of you had gone back to the doctor for your colds.”

“Cade, how much do you love me?”

“Uhh. I have to put a number on it?”  The look on his face was confusion times twenty.

“On a scale of one to ten how much do you love me?”

“Ten the highest?”

I nodded my head.

He slowly stalked towards me, “Hmm, I’d say.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, “A fifteen no maybe a twenty.”  He kissed the spot behind my ear.

“I’m pregnant!”  I blurted out. 

His lips stilled, hot breath blew across my neck sending a layer of goose bumps across my neck and chest, “Say that again.”  He pulled away and looked into my eyes.

Tears filled my eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

The corner of him mouth lifted, “Okay, why are you about to cry?”

“Because…we…I’m finally getting—better.  Now you’re going to leave me.  It wasn’t my fault I didn’t know, or didn’t even think…”

His mouth slammed down on mine, “Shut the fuck up, I’m not leaving you.  This is the best gift ever.  This is our new beginning.”  He wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“Wait, you’re okay with it?”  I asked.

“One hundred percent.”  He nodded. 

“Theresa’s pregnant too.”  I told him.

“Hey,” he held his hands up, “I had absolutely nothing to do with that night ride.” 

I started laughing, “I’m going to probably get really fat, really bitchy, and really horny.”

He pulled me by my hips, “I think I can handle it.”  He winked down at me.  “A baby, holy shit.  Thank you.”  He kissed me.  “I love you.” He kissed me again. 

~~~~

I had never seen both of my parents cry at the same time, but the night we told them about the pregnancy that’s exactly what they did. 

Come to find out Theresa’s due date was only two days different from mine, we agreed to go through all the appointments together and help each other along the way. 

At the four month mark we were both already huge, like HUGE.  I never did understand the comment, “You’re glowing.” Normally I had to bite back a comment like, “That’s not a glow, that’s sweat because I’m so frikin’ hot, all the time.  I seem to sweat just walking from my car to the gym.  Theresa was the opposite, she looked amazing pregnant but if a stranger tried to touch her stomach she would slap their hand away, “Excuse me don’t touch!”  she would tell them. 

Bryan and Cade didn’t miss a single appointment, when we were far enough along to have a sonogram and determine the sex all four of us were disappointed that the babies wouldn’t show us anything besides their profile view and tiny hands. 

We were standing in line at the convenience store waiting to pay for our chocolate bars, Theresa was showing me a crib set she had found on sale and wanted to order.

“Hello Sydney.” 

I about fainted, Theresa dropped her phone and turned ghost white.  “No.” she whispered before she turned around.  I slowly turned and there stood Ronnie.

He had a cane propped under one hand and a bottle of Pepsi in his other hand.  “You uh, look good.  Both of you.”  He looked at our stomachs then at me. 

A loud cracking noise and Ronnie landing on the floor, cane flying in the air and landing beside him snapped me out of my shocked state.  I looked at Theresa, she was shaking her fist out, “I have been waiting to do that for so long.”  She said with a smile.  Then she walked over to Ronnie, “Get the fuck out of town if you want to live.”  She slapped his cheek lightly, picked her cell phone up and turned me towards the register.  A woman screamed and ran over to help Ronnie up. 

“You fat pregnant bitch why did you just punch my fiancé?”

Just as Theresa got ready to respond the door chimed and in walked both Bryan and Cade.  They were laughing at something Bryan said until they seen me and Theresa’s face.  Cade was the first to spot Ronnie who was now adjusting the strap of the cane around his forearm.  He got ready to walk over to him but I stopped him and shook my head no.  “Let’s go.”  I pulled him out of the store.  The woman glared at us as they walked towards a grey mini-van.  Ronnie never looked up at us, he simply limped by and held a wad of napkins to his nose. 

Cade turned to me, “Did he hurt you?”

I shook my head no, “He didn’t touch me.” 

Cade pulled me into a hug, “Christ Syd.” 

I pulled away, “I’m fine, I promise.”  I clasped his hand in mine and put it on my baby bump, “New beginnings remember.”

Out of all the advice people freely handed out when they found out I was going to be a dad.  Not one single one could have prepared me for the labor and delivery.  My sweet, happy Sydney was like she was possessed by Satan.