Retribution (The Lone Riders MC Series Book 2) (13 page)

Sixteen

‘Something wrong?’ Ben asked, wrapping his arms around Mia from behind, circling her waist and pulling her back against him. But she seemed to stiffen the second his hands touched her.

‘You keep asking me that, Ben, and I keep giving you the same answer I’ve been giving you for days. I’m fine. I just think everything’s catching up with me, that’s all.’

He let go of her, leaning back against the counter, digging his hands into his pockets as he watched her flit around the kitchen, putting plates and dishes away – mundane things that didn’t really need doing right now – keeping her back to him as much as she could.

‘You know, if you’re not gonna talk to me then I don’t see the point in me being here.’ He started to make his way out of the kitchen, tired of the sudden atmosphere that had seemed to grow between them lately. He didn’t understand it, and he certainly didn’t need it.

‘Ben, please… Baby, I’m sorry, I really am. I’m sorry.’

There was an almost desperate tone to her voice and he turned around, throwing back his head and sighing heavily. ‘I get it, you know? I get that you’re tired, and that’s understandable. Given everything you’ve been through. Everything you’ve had to get used to. It stands to reason that it was all gonna catch up with you at some point. Just – don’t push me away, Mia. If something’s wrong…’

‘Nothing’s wrong.’ She pulled him into her arms, running her thumb lightly over his cheek. ‘I really am just tired.’

He smiled, gently rubbing the small of her back. ‘Then maybe we need to get a bit more sleep, huh?’

She leaned forward, kissing him quickly before resting her forehead against his, her fingers stroking the back of his neck. ‘Move in with me, Ben.’

That had come from out of nowhere. Was she kidding him? They’d only been together a few weeks, and even though everyone knew about them now, meaning their relationship had finally become public knowledge, he still hadn’t realized it had gotten anywhere close to being that serious. As far as he’d understood it, she wasn’t looking for that, not after everything that had happened. So where was
this
coming from?

‘Mia, I…’

‘Not a good idea, huh?’

He took her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it quickly. ‘I thought you wanted to take things slowly.’

She raised an eyebrow, and he couldn’t help but smile. ‘You think that’s what we’ve been doing, huh? Taking it slow?’

He pulled her closer, kissing her lightly. ‘Maybe not as far as the sex has been concerned, no. That kinda got going before
we
did.’

She cupped his cheek in her hand, tilting her head slightly as she looked into his eyes. ‘But we’re going
somewhere
, aren’t we?’

He took her hand again, squeezing it gently. ‘Baby, I don’t know…’

‘You don’t
know
?’ She let go of him, stepping back, her arms immediately folding against herself in a manner that Ben could only describe as defensive. ‘I thought… Jesus, Ben, am I being an idiot here?’

‘No. Mia, no. Of course not. But, moving in together? I mean, do you
need
that right now?’

She stared at him, and there was a look in her eyes that Ben couldn’t quite read, but he knew something wasn’t right. He could feel it.

‘You don’t know what I need.’ Her voice was almost monotone in its delivery, leaving Ben even more confused.

‘Look, I don’t want to fight, Mia. I really don’t. But I think… Maybe you just need some space, okay? A bit of time to think about whatever it is you got going on right now.’

She threw her head back and laughed, a sound verging on manic. ‘You’re telling me what I fucking need again.’

He held up his hands in surrender, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. ‘I’m outta here.’

‘Where are you going?’

He swung around to look at her. He wasn’t even sure how this situation had arose. Half an hour ago they’d been fucking each other’s brains out in the shower, and now she was pissing him off, big time. But this was the way things had been for days now. One minute she was up, the next she was down so far he didn’t know what the hell to do with her.

‘I’m going to the clubhouse.’

Another manic laugh spilled out of her, and he shook his head, shrugging on his jacket.

‘I’m taking the bike.’ His new pride and joy – a Harley Sportster Seventy-Two. His accident now nothing but a distant memory, his love of riding had been renewed with a passion he hadn’t thought possible. And the timing couldn’t have been better, because those days when Mia was fucking with his head he’d just climb on the bike and ride, away from all the crap and the shit he didn’t need. He was rediscovering that adrenaline rush he’d denied himself all these years; rediscovering a freedom he hadn’t thought he’d wanted again. Hadn’t thought he’d needed. But he knew, deep down, that he’d never really stopped wanting it. He’d just been too weak – too scared? – to claim it back. Until now.

‘It’s
your
fucking bike. You can take it where the hell you like.’

‘Jesus, Mia, come on. It doesn’t have to be like this.’ He pushed a hand through his hair, a heavy sigh racking his body. ‘Look, baby, if something’s wrong…’

‘I already told you, Ben, there’s nothing fucking wrong!’

He held up his hands again, backing away towards the door. ‘Hey, okay. Okay. I hear you. You know where I’ll be if you need me.’ He looked at her, her arms still folded defensively across her chest, her face stoic. Expressionless. ‘Don’t shut me out, Mia. Please. If this is gonna work, then you really can’t keep doing that.’

And, leaving her with a small smile that he hoped would let her know he was only doing this because he cared about her, he left her alone.

***

Mia slumped to the floor, leaning back against the cupboards, pushing both hands through her hair. She hadn’t seen or heard from Lennie since his visit to the house; had no sign that he was still around, but she knew he was. Of course he was. Lennie Rose didn’t play stupid games. He played deadly serious ones. And she knew that if he was here for her, then he was going to make damn sure he got her. She just didn’t know how, and she didn’t know when. Because that’s also what Lennie Rose did – he messed with her head in the worst possible way. Played mind games like nobody else.

She’d almost cracked, of course she had. The pressure of knowing what she was hiding was building every day, and she couldn’t count the amount of times she’d almost given in and told someone what was happening – that Lennie was here, that she was in danger; that others could be in danger, too. Almost every day she held her phone in her hand with every intention of calling Charlie. Every time she set foot inside the clubhouse she came to within seconds of letting Coby or Lexi know what was happening. But she’d always pulled back, stopped herself at the last minute because she knew – she knew what Lennie Rose was capable of.

But what was killing her the most was the distance it had created between her and Ben. She couldn’t talk to him, couldn’t open up to him, but asking him to move in with her – yes, that had been a completely spur-of-the-moment thing, borne out of panic; panic that she was losing him, that that distance was slowly becoming too great. But, thinking about it now, was it not something also borne out of – albeit subconsciously, at the time – a need to feel protected? All that crap about not needing anyone’s help, she knew she needed it now. More than she’d ever needed anything before. She couldn’t do this alone. How much longer was it going to be before Lennie made his next move? She had no idea when he’d turn up again, or what he was going to do when he did. And how much longer she could keep this all to herself was something else she didn’t know. But one thing she was sure of was that she didn’t want to leave here, didn’t want to give up the new life she’d only just started to live, before Lennie had turned up and shot all that to shit.

Mia Rose didn’t want to leave
Paradise
. And she didn’t want to lose Ben.

***

Coby took a long draw on his cigarette as he watched Ben pull up outside the clubhouse. ‘Business, or pleasure?’

Ben climbed off his bike and walked over to Coby, his hands deep in the pockets of his dark, slightly worn jeans.

‘Only, you been spending a lot of time here, without the work uniform,’ Coby continued, his stare fixed firmly on Ben.

‘You got a problem with that?’ Ben asked, eyeing the imposing Scotsman slightly warily, because, despite having known him for a good few years now, Ben still wasn’t entirely sure, at times, how to take Coby Walker.

Coby chuckled quietly, throwing his cigarette down on to the ground, grinding it into the concrete with the heel of his heavy boot. ‘No problem, no. As long as you keep those work/play boundaries separate. This is a pretty gray area we’re talking about here, son. I mean, you’re the guy who sorts out all our – shit, shall we say. And now you’re hanging around here like you’re one of us, and like I said, I’ve got no problem with that, but, what if you over hear something you shouldn’t, huh? Because I’m not sure how I feel about that, you being so friendly with our favorite sheriff and everything.’

‘Surely that would be an advantage, don’t you think? Me, over hearing something I shouldn’t? Means I can prevent whatever crap it is you’re getting yourselves into before it even starts.’

Coby let out another quiet chuckle, standing up and facing Ben, his tall, somewhat overbearing figure making Ben feel just a touch uncomfortable. ‘I like you, Ben. No, I really like you. You’ve
been
one of us, and that’s why I don’t mind you hanging out here. The guys like you, and you know the rules.’ He leaned in closer to Ben, his hands in his pockets, his voice low and gruff. ‘But I can’t help wondering how many people know just how much of a “one of us” you really were.’

Ben watched as Coby backed off and walked away. Shit! Had that really been necessary?

Sitting down on the wall Coby had just vacated, Ben looked out around him, at the compound going about its daily business. The garage was busy, Kip and Jesse hard at work on a couple of bikes while Luca and Cain had their heads bent over the open hood of an old Chrysler. Red and Callie were playing with baby Ozzie, a large green and blue checked blanket spread out over the small patch of grass Coby and
Tay
had recently created by the entrance to the office. A couple of the other Prospects were busy cleaning bikes belonging to the Lone Riders while Kel supervised, making sure they weren’t too distracted by the handful of women that were hanging around the yard, all of them dressed in clothes ranging from shorts and the smallest of mini skirts to tight T-shirts and barely-there dresses. Yeah. It was definitely business-as-usual as far as this place was concerned.

‘You here again?’ Lexi smiled, sitting down beside Ben.

He threw her a smile back. ‘Looks like it.’ But he couldn’t stop the sigh from escaping, causing Lexi to frown.

‘You sound like someone who might just have the weight of the world on their shoulders.’

‘Nothing quite as heavy as that.’ He managed another smile, looking back out across the yard at Red, who was holding the hands of baby Ozzie as he helped him walk a few tiny, faltering steps. ‘He’s growing up fast.’

‘Who? Red or Ozzie?’

Ben looked at her again, his smile growing wider. ‘Ozzie.’

Lexi laughed quietly, piling her long blonde hair up on top of her head, securing it with a large hair grip. ‘Yeah, he is. Beginning to pick up a lot of his daddy’s traits, too.’

‘Like what?’ Ben asked, glad to be talking about something that didn’t involve him or Mia or the crap that was surrounding them.

‘Like moaning, grumpiness, stubbornness…’ She smiled again, her eyes focused on her baby boy across the yard. He was giggling away now as Red pulled faces at him. ‘But, you know, I’m not sure I’d have him any other way. And Coby is such an incredible dad. You wouldn’t believe that the man who can walk in here with a mood from hell, acting all tough and… Well. You wouldn’t believe that’s the same man who rocks his son to sleep with a Gaelic lullaby. The same man who pushes Ozzie’s stroller round the block to get him to sleep. And I love my boys so fucking much.’

Ben watched her as she spoke. It was evident to anyone who looked at her right now that she meant that. That she really did love Coby and Ozzie with all of her heart. And he couldn’t help but wonder if their life at home really was that almost normal version of a family that most people envisaged. Was she trying to make sure the two lives they led were kept as separate as they
could
be?

‘Aren’t you worried, Lexi?’