Retribution (SSU Trilogy Book 3) (The Surgical Strike Unit) (21 page)

When she didn’t move away from him or yell at him to stop, Rafe got bolder. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, settling her head against his chest. “This right. Gab-by belong here. With Rafe.”

O
h, God, she was in so much trouble. He was acting like the man he’d been before, the decisive team leader who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Who expected the world to conform to his demands.

And he was correct. It did feel right to be in his arms again. Like coming home.

But professionally, this was a mistake. She should never have stepped through the door. Not that she thought Ryker would remove her from the team, but it set a bad example. Yes, everyone knew that she’d been Rafe’s lo
ver. And there was no getting around the fact that Rafe tolerated her presence when he still reacted aggressively toward his brother and Kai.

But there was a huge difference between standing on the other side of the glass, keeping a distance between them that allowed for some degree of objectivity, and standing with her cheek pressed over his heart, reveling in the steady bea
t that confirmed his body was alive and healthy.

Dammit, she didn’t want to keep their relationship professional. Her heart ached for him, greedy for any little sign that the man she loved was returning to her. Soaking up each gesture of kindness like a barren desert drinking in rain. He’d touched her heart when he gave her back the bear that had become so precious to him, simply because he wanted to cheer her up.

Part of her jumped ahead, thinking of ways to convince Ryker and Kai that she should be allowed to continue having personal meetings with Rafe. After all, this was the first time he’d expressed a contrary opinion. It was a sign he was breaking through the brainwashing.

She sighed. Rationalizations wouldn’t change the truth. Right now, theirs was a strictly professional relationship. Placing her hands on his waist, she lifted her head and stepped back.

Rafe grabbed her hands. “No!”

She tugged, but he wouldn’t let go. It was so typically Rafe, she felt more tears welling up. “Rafe, I have to go. I need to sleep and then get back to work in my lab so I can find the drugs that will make you better. And you need to sleep, too.”

Rafe tilted his head to the left, a hint of his characteristic devilment in his eyes. “Kiss Rafe,” he insisted, squeezing her hands.

“No. If I kiss you, they might stop me from coming to visit you again.” The instant the words left her mouth she knew they’d been the wrong thing to say. The devilment left his eyes, replaced by fear.

“No go!” He tugged her toward the bed.

Oh, no. Did he think to make love to her? Arousal stirred deep in her belly despite this being the wrong time. Everything that happened in this room was recorded. Bad enough that Ryker and Kai would see Rafe’s first After kiss. She could not let this continue.

“Rafe, no. Wait.” She tried to free her wrist from his grasp, but she couldn’t budge him.

He reached the bed. But even as she shifted her weight back to resist moving any further, he used one hand to drag over the armchair until it sat next to the head of the bed. Then he tugged her picture off the evening spot on his daily activity board, and put it on the first line for the morning. Bringing in an autism specialist had been a major milestone. With Rafe’s day scheduled out in a way he could easily understand and that allowed him plenty of time to mentally adapt to the next item on his agenda, the violent outbursts when he felt overwhelmed had all but stopped.

Looking entirely too pleased with himself, Rafe settled himself on top of the covers and used his hold on her wrist to make her sit in the armchair.

“Gab-by stay. No white coat stop.”

Gabby fought back a laugh. “Ra-afe,” she chided. “I can’t stay here forever. I have work to do. Work to make you better.”

Rafe pouted. Honest to God, the man stuck out his bottom lip just like a little boy. It was so endearing, she wanted to kiss him. Instead, she forced herself to think like a scientist, chalking this up as another sign of his personality returning. Secretly hoping this meant their treatment was working.

“Want Gab-by,” Rafe insisted.

Gabby shook her head and sighed, but inside she felt lighter than she had in weeks. “Rafe, I’ll stay until you fall asleep, okay? And I promise I’ll come back tomorrow. Here, take your bear back.”

Rafe accepted the bear, placing it on his chest. “Still want Gab-by stay.”

“I can’t do that. But wait—” She reached back, pulled the scrunchie from her hair, and slipped the elastic over his wrist. “You hold this for me until I see you again.”

She checked the fit to make sure the elastic wouldn’t cut off his circulation. Even worn and stretched out, the elastic barely fit around his thick wrist. “Okay?”

Rafe tightened his grip on her hand and put his other hand behind his head. “Rafe no sleep,” he said confidently. “Gab-by no go.”

Clever, but he’d lose this one. His body had started to reclaim the need for sleep that had been submerged by Kaufmann’s drugs. Rafe now averaged about five hours a night up from the one hour he’d slept the first night here. To help the cause along, they fed him a carefully calibrated sedative with his dinner. She figured she had at most half an hour before the drug took him under. Until then, she’d enjoy the warmth of his calloused palm against hers, and treasure each sign that the old Rafe was returning.

Chapter 18

G
abby stared at the blood smear through the microscope. With a sigh, she admitted that the sample on the slide wasn’t going to change just because she wanted it to. Damn it, the new formula they’d tried wasn’t helping Rafe. It wasn’t hurting him, either, but right now she desperately needed a breakthrough. After five days on this regimen, Rafe had regained enough cognition to be able to understand his situation and feel hope.

She refused to be the one who told him he wasn’t closer to being fully cured.

The image on the slide blurred and wavered, like a mirage. She blinked several times in succession, and when that didn’t sharpen her vision, she swiped a hand across her eyes. To her surprise, her hand came away damp.

A tear trickled down her cheek and fell on top of the microscope.

Stop it! Don’t you dare give up.

There had to be a formula that would break the block on Rafe’s intelligence. Stopping Kaufmann’s steroid based drugs and applying one of her new formulas to counter Agent Styx had reduced Rafe’s rages. Some of his cognitive skills had returned. He spoke now in full sentences, although at an elementary school level. Made his own decisions, although with none of the complex strategizing he’d once been known for.

Gabby wasn’t going to give up until he could once again hold a rapid conversation with her. Until he once again teased her and embarrassed her with double entendres. Until he could lead a team of SSU operators again.

She glanced at the flashing red light on her phone. Ryker had called again today, stressing how critical it was to get the location of Kaufmann’s lab from Rafe. Apparently Kaufmann’s subjects were soon going to launch a major attack. Ryker said he couldn’t give Gabby details, but the key to stopping the attack was to shut down Kaufmann’s program and get all of the subjects into treatment. Hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people would die if the attack wasn’t stopped.

While she understood the urgency of the situation, Gabby wouldn’t rush Rafe. Each time someone questioned him about the coordinates of the lab, he flew into a rage and tried to kill the questioner. For hours after, Rafe would be in a near catatonic state. Gabby had finally insisted that no one mention the lab to Rafe. Trying to force the issue only set his progress back. Making Rafe feel safe and accepting him with his current limits, would, she believed, help his memory return in time. In the meantime, she needed to get his intelligence back up to normal.

Gabby rubbed at her temples and arched her back, easing muscles tight from hours standing at her workstation. The answer was here somewhere. She just had to try harder. She placed another slide on the microscope, comparing the results from a previous version of the drug.

Maybe if she—

“You’re going to collapse if you don’t get some sleep, Gabby.”

Gabby spun around so fast, she almost fell over and proved Kai right. “Where’d you come from?” she demanded. Pain lanced through her chest as she remembered Rafe sneaking up on her, and how that had led to their first kiss.

Kai just smiled.

She was so used to seeing him in his lab coat that she forget he was
an SSU agent as
well as a scientist. He’d worked undercover for years. He was trained to move silently.

Kai’s smile faded as he studied her. “Working yourself into the ground isn’t going to bring him back any faster. When you’re this exhausted, you’re more likely to miss something. Let it go for the night. You’ll do better once you’re rested.”

“I—” Gabby’s voice broke and she looked away, embarrassed. She picked at a scorched spot on the counter. “Every time I leave the lab I feel like I’m abandoning him,” she said quietly. “I can’t…” She shook her head and a few tears broke loose, wetting her cheeks. She kept her head averted, hiding behind the fall of her hair and hoping Kai wouldn’t notice she was crying.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like for him,” she continued, “being trapped in a body that’s so much faster and stronger than normal but unable to communicate any better than a seven-year-old.” Kai made a sound of sympathy and somehow she found herself looking up and meeting his compassionate amber eyes.

“Kai, how does he stand it? Because he knows. I’ve seen the frustration and hopelessness on his face.” She squeezed her eyes closed against the pain of failure. A flood of tears spilled over her lids and cascaded down her face.

“Hopelessness. From
Rafe
. He used to be so confident. So optimistic.” She gave up pretending she wasn’t crying and swiped her hands down her face.

“Yeah, that was Rafe,” Kai said. “Never met a situation or a person he couldn’t turn to his advantage with a smile or a joke.”

His words conjured up memories of Rafe’s smile. Of the sheer love of life he’d exuded. Of the mischievous glint in his eye before he’d made some outrageous statement.

Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was her own helplessness, but Gabby lost it. No more silent tears for her. She started sobbing noisily, her whole body shaking.

“Hey. Hey, there.” Kai pulled her off her stool and into his embrace. “We all love him, Gabby. We’re not going to let Kaufmann win. No matter what it takes, we will get Rafe back. I promise.”

She nodded against his chest, even though right now, that seemed as impossible as her sprouting wings and flying toward the moon.

CIA Headquarters

Langley, VA

M
ark Tonelli knocked on the unmarked door. He’d been working as part of the CIA’s In-House Projects department for several months now, and been a member of IHP Director Wayne Jamieson’s private black ops group Kerberos for a couple of weeks, but this was the first time he’d been summoned to Jamieson’s office. It was tucked away in an area with little traffic, giving Jamieson the privacy he craved.

Mark didn’t even have his own office yet. Not that it had really mattered until recently. He’d been in Russia until just a few days ago, tidying up loose ends regarding the dismantling of a Russian lab run by Dr. Ivanov, and siphoning off as many of the research notes as he could for Kerberos.

As the door buzzed open, Mark walked inside.

The room was as opulent as he expected from a man with Jamieson’s arrogance. Rich cherry bookcases and desk, a thick Persian carpet covering the floor, and dark leather chairs with brass studs. What did surprise Mark was the reproduction of the Mona Lisa hanging on the wall to Jamieson’s left.

For a second Mark felt trapped by her eyes, as if she knew the secrets he carried and found them pathetically amusing. He shook off the odd sensation and turned to greet his boss.

Jamieson stood behind the desk. He held the phone to his ear while with his free hand he tapped the tip of a pen impatiently on the blotter. With a little jolt, Mark realized this was the first time he’d seen the man in person. All their previous interaction had been over the phone.

For a man in his early seventies, Jamieson still appeared to be in vigorous good health. He stood about five foot ten, with a slender frame that would have appeared fragile on a man exuding less energy. But Jamieson crackled with power. And anger. Even from several feet away Mark could feel the fury pouring off his boss. His ice blue eyes were narrowed and his thin lips flattened angrily with each syllable.

“No more excuses,” Jamieson barked into the phone. Then he slammed the receiver down. The brooding look he shot Mark had the hairs on the back of his neck rising.

“The microchip you brought out of Ivanov’s lab wasn’t Nevsky’s,” Jamieson informed him. “And the Russian scientists aren’t cooperating with Dr. Kaufmann.”

Mark ignored the chill at the base of his spine. “I did say that I wasn’t certain Ivanov had been honest with me about the microchip,” he said with what he hoped was the right shade of disdain. “Even a dying man isn’t guaranteed to tell the truth.”

Of course, he’d known all along the chip was a fake. The SSU’s Kai Paterson had swallowed the real microchip during the fight in Ivanov’s lab. Before the SSU shut the place down and turned it over to the Russian authorities, Mark had grabbed a similar microchip he’d seen in a data reader, hoping it contained enough scientific data to fool Kaufmann. A risk worth taking in order to slide back into Jamieson’s good graces.

Waiting with raised eyebrow to see where Jamieson was heading with his comments, Mark hoped the failure of the two Russian scientists to cooperate with Kaufmann wouldn’t ruin his plans. Retrieving Nevsky’s microchip had been his admission price into Kerberos. He wasn’t going to let Jamieson kick him out of the organization now.

“Lucky for you the information you brought me on that other matter proved invaluable, or I’d be wondering why I didn’t make certain you were killed in Brazil,” Jamieson said.