Retribution (3 page)

The photos Cooper had shown me weeks before kept flashing through my mind. He’d had his father followed both before and after his mother’s death. He had gathered photos of Robert cheating on Marie along with several of Robert with women after her death. I clearly remembered the day Cooper had shown them to me even though it felt like a lifetime ago.

“Your dad was cheating?” I asked. It felt like the air in the room had been vacuumed out.

“Yes. Look in the envelope.”

I opened it and pulled out several photos. All of them had Robert with women I didn’t recognize. I counted three different women in the photos. In each one, Robert was holding, kissing, and touching a woman in ways that made it very clear what had happened next.

I looked up at Cooper. “Why are you showing these to me?”

“Because you need to know.”

I tried to push away those memories and the doubts they brought. If I didn’t trust Robert, our marriage would never work. Still, it was hard not to worry about whether Robert was working every night or if he was secretly meeting with another woman.

The only blessing I could think of was the fact that Cooper had not returned home yet. If he had been home, he would have tried to push even more doubt into my mind. That was what Cooper did. He would make me want to trust him as he whispered lies and half-truths into my ear. His charisma rivaled even his father’s, and he used it like a weapon.

Even without his presence, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I’d checked his room, and like Ellie had said, only a bag and some of his clothes were missing. He would return. That much was obvious. And that meant I would spend half my waking hours waiting for him to come home, anticipating the inevitable battle that would occur when we came face-to-face again.

Yes, Cooper was gone for now, but he was still very much a part of this house.

I’d mostly spend my days with Ellie. Once she finished her tasks, we would lounge together by the pool or in the kitchen. She was teaching me how to cook. I enjoyed the time I spent with her. I needed it. Her kind and nurturing disposition would help me stay sane. I was pretty sure that Ellie had realized how lost I was at home.

I decided that was probably why she so much time at the house instead of leaving once she was finished for the day. I was sure she had something better to do than hang out with me all the time. Still, she never once acted like she wanted to leave me alone. I appreciated that more than she knew.

On the days when Ellie couldn’t stay at work, I’d find myself aimlessly wandering the house. I’d once marveled at the size of Robert’s home, but I was starting to hate it. I felt too small, too insignificant, in the structure when I was on my own. I felt like the house might swallow me whole, and no one would even notice.

One afternoon, I called Tammy, Shelly’s foster mother, and asked if I could take Shelly out for a few hours. I missed the little girl like crazy, and I needed to escape from my cage for a while. When Tammy agreed that I could come pick Shelly up, I was ecstatic. As soon as I hung up, I hurried to my car and hauled ass across town to Tammy’s house. The moment I pulled up to the house, Shelly ran to my car and climbed in. It seemed that she was just as excited as I was.

My good mood was quickly shattered.

Before I could even get a greeting past my lips, she asked, “Where’s Cooper?”

My hands clenched the steering wheel as I explained that he was out of town. She seemed disappointed that it would just be the two of us. Shelly absolutely loved Cooper. It was quite obvious when they had been together. She looked so sad that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she would probably never see Cooper again.

Shelly was the one and only thing that was completely pure in my life. Despite growing up in foster care, like me, she was still so kind and innocent. I’d crave her infectious laugh when I wasn’t with her. She had no idea that, even though she was only ten, she was one of the most important parts of my life.

Before everything had gone to shit between Cooper and me, I’d mentioned to him that I wanted to adopt her. He’d become so angry, telling me that he refused to let a child be around his father and that I should let the subject go. Now that he was nowhere to be seen, I allowed myself think about it again. Having Shelly in the house would mean more to me than Cooper or Robert could ever imagine.

After my day out with Shelly, I decided that Cooper could go fuck himself. I drove home, determined to talk to Robert about Shelly as soon as I had the chance. It finally came two days later.

I looked up from my book when I heard the garage door open. I glanced at the clock. It was barely past seven. Robert hadn’t come home this early in weeks. I felt a small twinge of excitement over the prospect of spending the evening with him.

A few moments later, Robert appeared in the doorway, looking exhausted. He saw me sitting on the couch and walked over to me. He dropped down next to me without a word.

“You’re home early,” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“For once. These past two weeks have been rough. I decided I needed a night off,” he said.

“Well, I’m glad you’re home. While we have a minute alone, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I put my book down and turned toward him. I had no idea when I’d get another chance to talk to him about Shelly. It was now or never.

“What is it?” he asked.

“What I’m about to ask you, I understand that you can’t tell me yes or no right now. It’s not something you can decide on instantly.”

“Claire, what’s going on?” Robert asked, a frown on his face.

“I want to adopt Shelly,” I said quickly before I could lose my nerve.

Silence.

Robert only stared at me.

“I know it’s a big deal,” I rushed on when I realized he wasn’t going to say anything, “but I want you to think about it—for me, for her. I love her, Robert. Every time I take her back to that house, it breaks me. I don’t want to give her back. I want to keep her here with us where she can be happy. I want a front-row seat to watch her grow up instead of a visit once or twice a month.”

Robert shook his head. “Claire, you can’t be serious.”

“I am dead serious.”

“You’re eighteen years old. You really want to be a mother to a child who’s only a few years younger than you?”

“I do. She’s special. You have no idea just how special she really is. If you met her, I know you’d fall in love with her, too.”

“We can’t, Claire.”

“Why not?” I demanded.
Why can’t he see how much this means to me?

“Because I don’t have time to raise another child, especially one who isn’t mine, and you’re too young to deal with that.”

“I’ve watched out for other foster kids since I was old enough to understand how fucked up our lives were. I have more experience than most. I can do this, Robert. I know I can.”

“I’m sorry, but no. This discussion is over.”

Robert started to stand up, but I grabbed his arm.

“Just like that? You tell me no and walk away? That’s unfair, Robert! I ask for very little, but when I do, you always push my needs aside. You treat me like a child! I’m tired of it. I won’t let you just shut me down again!”

“Maybe if you didn’t act like a child, I wouldn’t treat you like one!” he said, his voice letting me know just how angry he was.

“Well, you’re the one who married a
child.
Maybe you should think about that!” I shouted.

Slap.

I gasped and jerked back as my cheek stung. The world stood still for a moment as I tried to understand what had just happened. Robert had slapped me. I stared at him in shock and disbelief. He had
hit
me.

“At times like these, I’m well aware of the fact that you’re a child, and I’m forced to treat you like one,” Robert said calmly as if he didn’t even care that he’d just hit me.

“Get away from me,” I whispered.

He stood. “I don’t want to hear about this again, Claire.”

Then, he was gone, leaving me with nothing but anger and fear—and a stinging cheek.

I hadn’t spoken to Robert for two days. He was rarely home, except for late in the evenings. Whenever he was around, I’d lock myself in my old room and stay there. I was sleeping in there as well. He hadn’t tried to talk to me. The one time we’d passed each other in the hallway, he hadn’t even looked at me. He obviously knew that I was avoiding him, but if it bothered him, he wasn’t showing it at all. He’d simply pretend that I wasn’t there.

I hated him for that. I was the one who deserved to be angry and hurt. He had slapped me. I’d watched so many of my foster mothers get slapped and much, much more. I’d sworn that I would never allow myself to be around someone like that. Men who hit women were vile creatures. I hated them. I hated Robert. I wanted to lash out at him—kick him, slap him, scream at him—even if it made me just as horrible as he was. But I had done nothing. I knew that if I went after him, he might come back at me tenfold. Robert might be in his forties, but he was strong. I wouldn’t stand a chance if he decided to truly go after me.

So, I hid like the coward I was, keeping myself locked away from him and the rest of the world.

I was pulled from sleep when I felt someone sit down on the bed next to me. Keeping my breathing even, I fought to keep my body from stiffening and giving away the fact that I was awake. I knew that I had locked my bedroom door.

“Oh, Claire. What am I going to do with you?” Robert asked.

I didn’t know, but I had a few suggestions about what I’d like to do to
him.
I didn’t dare open my eyes or my mouth though. I didn’t want to speak to Robert—not now, not ever.

After a few minutes, he sighed. He rested his hand on my cheek and gently stroked the skin that he’d slapped only days earlier. His gentleness was at odds with what he’d done before.

“I don’t lose control often, but with you, it’s hard. You’re so strong-willed.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my forehead. “You seem to bring out the worst in me sometimes, sweet Claire.”

For several minutes, I continued to pretend I was asleep. Robert didn’t touch me again, but I could feel his presence next to me. I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to wake up or if maybe he was lost in his thoughts.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I felt the bed shift as he stood.

“I’ll make you forgive me, Claire. Have no doubt.”

Then, he was gone.