Restore Me (Book 2.5 Kin Series) (24 page)

I whistled for the rest of my walk, imagining a repeat of the previous night. As I climbed the stairs and started calling her, I knew something was off. The apartment was quiet and I desperately searched for her. Not only was Lacey gone, but so were her bags and a note was sitting there waiting for me to read.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew the note was her saying goodbye and it crushed me. After traveling all this way, she decided that she didn’t want me after all.

I grabbed the note and opened it, knowing it was going to shatter me.

Joey:

Being with you has been some of the happiest, most exciting times of my life. I’ll never forget how you helped me through my tough break-up with Shayne. Thank you for letting me know a side of you that no other woman has known. I will never forget that you gave me your heart.

To say that I love you back would be an understatement. When you pop in my mind, my stomach does butterflies and I feel like a giddy teenager, awaiting my first kiss. Our connection has always been mutual, even when I was fighting you off. I think that’s why I fell so hard for you, because I could feel that it was going to be amazing.

You didn’t disappoint. Everything you said was true. You were the best that I’ve had and probably the best I will ever have, but all good things must come to an end.

As much as I don’t want to do it, I have to walk away now, before I fall apart before your eyes. Being with you, here, in this beautiful place, hearing you say those three words back to me, is something I will never forget. Words could never describe how much love I feel for you.

The thing is, I can’t hold on to hope when it comes to us. You said it yourself, that you don’t know how to have a long-distance relationship. I get it, I really do, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I’m leaving today, before you get home, because I can’t say goodbye to you without hurting. I can’t look you in the eyes and tell you that we’re over. It’s not what I want, but what has to happen. Let’s face it, you’re gorgeous and women notice that. I can’t be halfway across the planet from you and not wonder when or if you’re hooking up with someone else. Maybe Shayne is to blame for my trust issues, but I have them now and I can’t help myself.

I hope one day, when you come home, you’ll forgive me and we can be friends. That’s lame and cliché, but it is the truth.

I love you, Joey, with everything in me, I swear I do, but I can’t hold onto hope when I know I will only be disappointed. I can’t ask you to change for me, or be faithful when we’re so far apart.

Thank you, for everything you’ve given me. I will treasure our time together for the rest of my life.

Love, Lacey

I read it six times.

The words never changed.

Lacey didn’t want to wait for me and there was nothing I could do about it. I’d failed at reassuring her and she’d left because of it.

If I’d only told her everything that I thought about in the shower, perhaps she would have stayed and I wouldn’t be sitting there staring at a letter that was stabbing me directly in the heart.

Desperate to reach out to her, I sat down at my computer and started messaging her. I couldn’t let her go without a fight, not after her finding out that I loved her.

I was determined to show her that I’d never give up. She needed to know I’d do whatever it took.

My first note was full of emotion. I wrote everything on my mind and hit send.

Lacey, I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Did you come here to rip out my heart one more time, because that’s what you’ve done? I brought you flowers
and whistled my whole way back from work, in which I got off an hour early. I was more than excited to know you were waiting for me. You can imagine the pain I felt when you weren’t there and had left that note.

I don’t care what I said the other night. Given the chance, I would have talked you out of your decision. I sure as Hell didn’t tell you I loved you so that you could leave me.

This sucks. I’m guessing you’re still on a plane heading home. In that case, just know that spending even one extra day with you was worth so much to me. No matter where you are, or who you end up with, just know that you’re the first woman I ever loved. I’ll never forget the way your body felt in my arms, or the way you looked when you were lying naked in my bed.

Love, Joey

After I reread it, I realized that I had more to say. It was as if I thought I was speaking directly to her and I wasn’t going to stop until she responded.

Why can’t you talk to me? I’m hurting too, you know. Don’t you get it? I was just getting used to moving forward. I’d focused on my job and tried to forget about how much I missed you and then you come walking through my door. You gave me fucking hope and then you took it away. I , at least, deserve an explanation, other than this fucking note. We’re not kids, Lacey. You’re being ridiculous. None of this makes sense to me. Why leave if you were happy?
Why rip out my heart on purpose? Did I hurt you? Did I do something that I’m unaware of?

Just talk to me.

I stared at the screen, knowing damn well that she was probably on a plane and not even able to read them. To make the time go by faster, I swallowed down two bottles of wine
. When I woke up after passing out, I had a notification.

Desperately, I opened it and read the short two worded response.

I’M SORRY.

I took the bouquet of flowers that I’d stuck in one of the wine bottles and threw it across the room, denting the wall as it shattered all over the room.

She was sorry.

SHE WAS FUCKING SORRY.

I was overwhelmed with pain and guilt and didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I could drive over to her place and set things straight. Besides, she didn’t want to talk to me.

I was left wondering how something so beautiful could turn to shit so quickly. I’d done everything right and it still wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t the man she wanted and unless I gave up my job and went home, she didn’t want to be with me.

Feeling more alone than ever in my life, I cried. I stood in the shower and cried like a pussy because she was gone and I felt sorry for myself. I couldn’t see a simple solution. Feeling rejected was the worst. I’d been thinking that I was the best she’d ever had. She’d even stated it in her note, but obviously that wasn’t true. She was giving me up, probably because I wasn’t good enough for her.

For so long I’d been egotistical, never considering that the world didn’t revolve around me and my dick. This was what I deserved. After a lifetime of only using women for sexual pleasure, I was left with a broken heart and I had not one person to blame but myself.

Chapter 28

Day after day I thought about her. I kept thinking she would send me a message or call me, but it never happened.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. Every night I felt sick to my stomach and I knew she was to blame. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t, because each time I thought about her at all, I fell more in love.

When I couldn’t stand the silence, I found her number and sent one message. It was short and said what I wanted.

I LOVE YOU- Joey

Lacey didn’t respond right away. I figured that she wouldn’t. I’d paid so much attention to her that I knew how she handled things. She was terrible with anything emotional.

Eventually I got a notification that she’d written back. Her words burned my eyes to read and became the final nail in my coffin.

Joey,

Please stop messaging me. We’re over. There’s nothing you can say or do. It was fun, but I can’t do it anymore.

Lacey

After that message I knew I’d never hear from Lacey again, as long as I was in Italy. I had a decision to make and until I did it, nothing was going to get better for me.

I don’t know why it was so hard for me to want to go home to her. My job was becoming more of a hassle than a learning experience. My boss’s wife hadn’t given up on wanting to fuck me.

Just days before
, she’d been waiting for me in the walk-in one night when we were the only two left. I went to lock up and couldn’t find her. When I opened the door she was in the back with nothing on below her waist. Her fingers were rubbing over her pussy as she looked right at me with a smile. “You could fuck me right now and nobody would ever know, Joey. Don’t you want this pussy?”

Now, I was a man and she was beautiful, especially sprawled out
masturbating in front of me. It was tempting.

“No. I really don’t.”

I went to turn around and leave her there. “Wait, Joe.” I stopped and slowly turned around, making it a point to only look at her face.

“What do you want now? Can’t you take a fuckin’ hint?”

She started to cry. “I just want to be touched by a real man. You don’t know what it’s like being married to someone that ignores me every day. I want to feel beautiful.” She wiped away her tears and watched me cross my arms. “I want to be touched, that’s all.”

I ran my hands through my hair and let out an air filled laugh. “Look, you’ve obviously got marriage
problems, but I can’t be the person to help you. I’ve got enough problems of my own. Fuckin’ you would complicate it worse.”

“Is it because
of that American girl that came to your place? Is she the reason that you won’t fuck me?” Admittedly, her accent was sexy as hell, but she’d just mentioned Lacey.

“Yeah. It’s because of her.”

“She’s not here, Joe. I would never tell anyone. It could be our secret.” Gia hopped down and walked toward me. She grabbed the collar to my shirt and pulled me up close to her face. “Don’t you want to touch me? I know you must get lonely.”

I closed my eyes just as her lips brushed over mine. It was wrong. I knew it, but I needed to feel something other than pain.

When our tongues met it send a jolt right to my dick. I picked her up and leaned her against the cold shelves. Gia’s legs wrapped around me as she reached down and started unbuttoning my pants.

Then I stopped.

I think she’d known all along that I wasn’t going to go through with it from the way she slid off of me without arguing. I backed away and wiped off my mouth. “I can’t.”

Then, out of
nowhere, her demeanor changed. She leaned back and looked right at me. “If you don’t go through with it, I’ll tell my husband you assaulted me.”

I pointed right at her. “You are a shitty excuse for a person and a wife. Go on and tell him whatever the fuck you want, because I’ll
already be gone.”

“Wait!” She ran after me, grabbing the back of my shirt.

I turned around. “What do you have to say now? We’re done here.”

“I’m sorry. Please don’t quit. He’ll blame
me for everything.”

“Lady, you’re psycho.”

“Please, don’t quit.”

I left her there, crying and thinking that I’d just quit my job. At that moment I thought I did, but after going home and thinking about it, I knew I had to do it the right way.

I’d already packed up my things when I went into work and told my boss that I wasn’t coming back. When he’d asked me for the reason, I let him know it was a personal decision that had to do with a woman I had back at home.

I don’t know why Gia was such an attention whore, because her husband was a nice guy. He provided for her and let her want for nothing. Some women just weren’t worth the fancy shoes on their feet.

I didn’t call home and let anyone know I was heading in their direction. After being away, I just wanted to surprise all of the faces that I cared about, especially one in particular.

During my flight home, I considered telling Lacey the truth about Gia and how I’d almost slept with the woman. The thing was, Lacey had left me and I was free to be with other women. The bottom line was that it never happened, so there wasn’t a reason to make her upset. My coming home was for the sole purpose of getting her back, not making her hate me again.

I called my little brother when my flight arrived and he wasn’t that thrilled to hear from me so early in the morning. “This better be good, dude. It’s five o’clock in the mornin’.”

“I’m at the airport. Come get me.”

“What?”
I could hear him getting up and the covers rubbing against his phone. “Mom didn’t tell me.”

“She don’t know. Look, I’m goin’ to grab somethin’ to eat. Call me when you get close and I’ll tell you where to meet me.”

We hung up and I went to grab some coffee. Once I got seated and started waiting for my brother, I stared at my phone. There was only one number that I wanted to call. It was hard to not do it.

Instead, I waited an hour and called Ford. “Joey? Did you get your phone transferred internationally?”

“I’m at Dulles Airport. I’ll be to my apartment in a couple hours.”