Resist (10 page)

Did I want Blaine to treat me like a whore? Would it make me feel worthy of his love?

My mind wandered and before I knew it, I’d drifted and a strong hand gripped my shoulder, full of warmth and concern while “The Epilogue” played in my ears.

That very phrase repeated in my head over and over again. Circling around doom and wanting the person in front of me. In that case, it was Blaine and he was fucking perfect. What in God’s name was I waiting for and why had I allowed my genophobia to take over my life? Not when the man I wanted to share my body with was right in front of me?

“B
laine, I’m disappointed in you. Where have you been hiding this beauty? She’s perfect. She could be the next Jennifer Lawrence. She’s absolutely . . .
personified
 
perfection
.”

I looked at the generic studio exec before I glanced at Blaine.

“Oh, Victoire isn’t interested in being an
actress
,” he said it as if 
“
actress
” 
was a vulgar word. “She graduated from Stanford and has a Master’s degree in abnormal psychology. She’s not quite a doctor but a few more years, she would have been. No, she’s my co-director. Someone I’ve taken under my wing.”

Another exec—an attractive middle-aged woman who would have been in her teens when shoulder pads were invented—rolled her eyes. “Granted you couldn’t have found an ugly co-director? There must be unattractive women out there not blessed with beauty and grace but who are just as talented as Ms. Janssen.”

“Granted, you’re not advising reverse discrimination?” Blaine questioned incredulously. “I’m supposed to fulfill Hollywood’s
ugly
quotient because there are too many beautiful people in this town? Sorry—not to sound un-PC—but I’m not looking for any unattractive women. Vie caught my attention in
spite
of her beauty. She graduated from my Alma mater—
twice
.”

Her brown eyes—aglow with a touch of drunkenness—stared my way with curiosity. “You’re not the least bit concerned about working with a
master
of his craft? Granted we can’t tell the world that and he looks fairly new with only one project under his belt—
Dances With Devils
—but even for an NC-17 film, it’s getting so much buzz, we are going to release an R-rated version. The unrated version will be available on Blu-ray and DVD.

I remember seeing the title as Blaine filmed but I had no idea he was actually shooting the film for a studio, let alone the same studio who owned the cable network
WAGs
would appear on.

Blaine ground his teeth together and his jaw flexed, a sign he was upset but he hid it well. “Oh? Didn’t you get the dailies I sent over?”

“Yeah, we did,” the male exec exclaimed. “They were hot, Blaine. If I didn’t know better, I’d think those two were actually fucking but the way you filmed it, we can cut out certain parts to get an R rating by the MPAA. We need this hit, Blaine. The studio is in the black—
barely
. We need a controversial and thought-provoking movie that will get audiences worldwide packed in theaters. Of course, you understand it’s different in the overseas markets. In Europe, the film can be shown as is but in certain parts of Asia, we’ll censor the risqué scenes. We’ve got a genuine moneymaker on our hands. No way are we gonna let this golden goose escape for the sense of
artistic
integrity.”

I squeezed his thigh underneath the table. “That’s amazing! No doubt the actors will be thrilled,” I said in a voice an octave higher than I’d ever used with Blaine.

The female exec glared at Blaine. “Is this all right with you? You look like you’re ready to kill someone.”

He smiled tightly. “Of course. Who gives a shit about artistic integrity? It’s the money that matters, right?”

“Duh?” both execs said as if the answer were obvious.

I finished up my Pinot Gris and prayed for the meeting not to drag on any longer than necessary.

“T
hose greedy American
fucks
!” Blaine exclaimed in anger as he drove us home. “I knew trusting them with my first mainstream film wouldn’t be a good idea. I knew it yet I did it anyway.
Hvordan kunne jeg være så dum?
Of course they would ruin it.”

“Stop it. You weren’t being stupid,” I said in a measured tone of voice. “Who wouldn’t want their brilliance known to the world? Why didn’t you tell me it was a mainstream film? I thought it was commissioned until I found the contract on your kitchen table.”

“It was originally commissioned before the investor backed out. It was a great concept so I approached Meridian Pictures with it since they own Celebrity Today Network—or CTN—for short. They loved it and decided to put up the money in exchange for having artistic license. I shouldn’t have been looking at the zeroes and thinking about my film instead. If anyone is to blame for this farce, it’s me.”

I glanced at his profile for a long time before I looked away. He was concentrating on not getting us into an accident as his hands held the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip.

“Listen, I’m going to drop you off at the loft and then I have to go blow off some steam. If I don’t, I will kill someone while driving this fucking car.”

“No!” I exclaimed before I calmed myself down. “I mean . . . I know where you’re going when you let off steam and . . . it hurts me.”

Blaine pulled his eighty-thousand-dollar, silver BMW X6 to the side of Pacific Coast Highway and put it in neutral. “How the fuck do I hurt you by going out to get laid?”

I couldn’t look into those gorgeous blue eyes that would make me glimpse the depths of his soul. “Tonight . . . I want you to do to me . . . what you would do to those other girls. Does . . . that make sense?”

He leaned over and grabbed my jaw, forcing me to face him. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Vie.”

I nodded my head. “But I do. I can’t stay a virgin forever and I’m already a freak . . . of nature. Who suffers from genophobia? Hell, half the women in the world hate sex or can’t have it pleasurably and here I am . . . moping around in a first world country afraid to have a piece of tissue torn. It doesn’t change me . . . but for some reason, I’ve held on to it because I felt superior to other women my age. After all, I was a lady of
virtue
and
purity
. I’d held steadfast to my virginity while others had let theirs slip away to men whose names they couldn't remember. It was stupid to be honest. 

“I know now
 that . . . my condition is somewhat self-imposed. None of the men I met were good enough to take something so sacred
to
me
from
me . . . until now. Besides, no one else suffered . . . not one person . . . except me of course.”

“It shouldn’t be something you’re scared of, Vie. If I did that to you and violated you . . . I could live with myself but when I go through one of my dark periods, I would feel like shit. I have enough crap to deal with. Fucking you won’t be one of them, especially when you don’t really want it. You see, unlike my brothers, I prefer a willing victim,” Blaine explained.

I was a hair’s breadth of begging him but instead, I reached across the leather console and kissed him while grabbing his right hand and pushing it between my legs. I only wore a flimsy Victoria’s Secret Lacie thong that was easy to push to the side.

He took over our kiss, his lips greedy and his tongue sought mine out as he suddenly unbuckled my seatbelt and his own. He grabbed my ass and dragged me over the console where I sat on his lap and continued to kiss me as his hands pushed my spaghetti-straps down to reveal my breasts.

“You’re fucking perfect, Vie. Why would you want to be defiled by a vile human being like me?” he whispered into my ear before he lightly bit my lobe.

“Why not you?” I responded breathlessly.

A smile played on his lips though it was not overtly present. “Fine. Get back in your seat but don’t bother with your seatbelt.”

“Okay,” I whispered as I crawled over the console and sat in my seat again.

“Take that fucking dress off. I want you in your thong and nothing else. No one can see inside my windows. It’s for my entertainment only.”

I breathed in deeply before I removed my dress and sat against the cool leather. He’d turned on the air conditioning and the seat was cold against my warm skin.

“Touch yourself while I drive.”

My hands immediately went to my thong and I pulled it to the side as my right hand cupped my sex before my fingers parted my lips and I caressed my hard clit. I’d never masturbated in front of anyone yet there was very little shame as my legs spread automatically and my eyes closed on their own.

“What are you thinking about?” he said in a voice laced with unabashed lust.

“Your tongue on my clit and your fingers playing with my pussy,” I replied in an equally sex-laden voice.

“Fuck, Vie. If we weren’t five minutes from the loft, I would seriously take you in this fucking car.”

“Yeah but the blood would mess up the seats,” I said innocently.

“They’re leather—who gives a shit? I don’t. I can buy ten of these and it wouldn’t even put a dent in my fucking bank account. It’s a fucking car—nothing special.”

“Well, it’s nice to know you don’t have a special attachment to the materialistic trappings in your life,” I replied in a shaky voice.

“No more small talk—just keep playing with your beautiful wet pussy until I get us home.”

I kicked off my shoes and placed my feet on the dashboard in front of me and did as he requested until my whole body seized with a powerful orgasm only I could entice from myself. I’d never dared allowed anyone else to try so I didn’t know if it could be replicated again that night.

Blaine pulled the BMW into the garage and quickly shut the door before he turned off the engine with a push of a button after putting the car into neutral and pulling up the hand brake.

He got out and walked over to my side and opened the door, lifting me up as if I were light as feather and carrying me into the house.

My Lacie thong ended up a shredded piece of material on the hallway’s hardwood floor. We barely made it to the leather sofa before he sat me down and spread my legs unceremoniously. He unbuckled his pants and unzipped before he grasped his cock with one hand while pushing me closer to him by possessively grabbing one of my ass cheeks.