Resilient Love (Navy Love Series Book 3) (8 page)

My phone chimes with an incoming text from Tessa.

Tess: How are you? Why didn’t you tell me what’s going on with your mom?

Me: Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to burden anyone and it was so sudden I didn’t think to call.

Tess: It’s okay, I get it. I just wish you would’ve let all of us know. You’ve been so distant lately.

My heart slams into my chest while I think of a response. This isn’t the time, and it surely isn’t the way to tell Tessa why I’ve been hesitant.

Me: I know, I’m sorry. Just going through some shit. I promise when I get back, we’ll go have coffee and talk about everything. Just know I’m sorry and I love you.

Tess: <3 you too, Jo. Give your mama love from me. And call if you need anything.

Me: Will do.

No sooner do I sit my phone down, Mom stirs from her sleep.

“Hey, I love watching this show. Come sit with me, Joey.”

I rest my butt along the armrest, and Mom lays her head against my shoulder.

Joey is a nickname that only my immediate family calls me; while some may think it’s childish, I love it. I’ve been Joey since I was born.

“So,” she pats my thigh, “did you ever work everything out with J.C.?”

I roll my eyes, knowing she can’t see me.

“Not yet. J.C. is deployed. Communication is damn near impossible when you’re on a boat.”

“But it is possible.”

“Yeah but—”

“No excuses, you need to talk to that boy. Fix your relationship.”

“We don’t have a relationship, Mom. It was casual, friendly, and carefree fun.”

We sit in silence as another competitor receives their scores; twenty-seven out of thirty.

“It may have started as casual, but I know you care about him, so stop running from your fears and talk to the boy,” Mom says out of nowhere.

I don’t have it in me to argue with her anymore tonight. Shaking my head, I tell her, “I love you, Mom.”

She takes a deep breath. “I love you, too.”

“Do you want me to help you get to bed?”

“Yeah, you better. I’m getting tired and I need to take a pain pill.”

Fifteen minutes later, Mom is settled in bed already dozing off again thanks to the medication. And I’m left once again to my thoughts.

Refusing to fall into the slump of depression again, I get into my own bed and fall asleep quickly.

J.C.

I should have called.

What would that have done though, honestly? Jo never reached out to me while I was deployed; making it blatantly obvious that she’s still upset with me.

Who could blame her though? I acted like a complete jackass all those months ago. She needed me, needed my support. And did I give it to her? No, I treated her like shit; blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault.

Thank God I don’t have long to contemplate backing out of this plan. My flight number echoes over the PA system.

I glance around the seating area as I make my way to the attendant at the terminal. Doesn’t look like we’ll have a full flight on this leg of the trip. I silently hope the flight from Atlanta to California is the same.

The petite attendant takes my ticket with a sly smile. I look her over and scan her nametag; Jeanette . A year ago, I wouldn’t have thought twice about getting Ms. Jeanette ’s number or even dragging her into the closest bathroom and fucking her or allowing her to suck my cock, but the thought doesn’t cross my mind now.

I’m taken. The woman who owns me may not claim me yet, or even know that she holds my heart, but that doesn’t deter my feelings. I’ve never felt the need to be there for someone like I do with Jo.

Knowing she’s been dealing with hit after hit on her own kills me. It’s time to make amends for that now though. Once I convince her to give us a real chance, I will never let her feel alone like that again.

Reed and Tegan gave me a quick rundown yesterday at lunch, but I’m still in the dark with a lot of what’s going on. All I really know is Jo did eventually, with a firm push from Reed and Miller, seek counseling from the Chaplain. And when she was finally getting back to the old Jo, she got the call that her mom’s cancer is getting worse.

I have no idea just how bad her mom is or how much her cancer has progressed; I just know I
need
to be there.

The entire flight from Norfolk to Atlanta is spent going over every possible prognosis her mom has been given and every possible reaction to Jo seeing me there. Let’s just say, the majority of both scenarios didn’t leave warm and fuzzy feelings in my stomach.

I have just enough time in Atlanta to grab some food, scarf it down, and then board my connecting flight. The entire time, I mentally bitch for not telling Tegan to avoid this airport. Typically, I do unless this is my starting or ending destination, but usually when I travel home, I fly into Jacksonville, Florida instead. Atlanta International Airport can only be described as chaotic on a good day; it’s a headache getting from one gate to another. One that I don’t want or need today.

On the second leg of my flight, from Atlanta to LAX, I think over the advice my mom gave me when I called and informed her of my change of plans. While I didn’t come right out and say that the girl I’m in love with is going through hell and I need to not only be there for her but also confess my love, I did tell her that my best friend Jo is dealing with her mom’s illness alone and I needed to go help.

I’m sure my mom would have been supportive, right up until the point that I told her I had not only gotten Jo pregnant out of wedlock but then that I chose to cause a fight and run away from the situation.

That’s when my mom would have gone from the sweet, southern debutante to an angry, wooden-spoon flingin’, ass whoopin’, pissed off woman.

I feel as though I’m carrying around enough guilt about the way things were handled, and I’m disappointed in myself; I can only imagine just how upset my mom would be by it. And to be quite honest, I don’t know if she’d be more upset by my behavior or the fact that this is the second time I’ve encountered an unplanned pregnancy.

No, it’s better to not tell her the entire story.

Mom ain’t dumb, she’s knows I don’t keep women around long, but she also knows that Tess and Jo are the two exceptions to that rule.

She and Dad were both understanding though in my decision to go to California instead of coming home. I promised I’d make it up to them both soon. I just hope this trip has some positivity to it.

My main reasoning for flying out here is to be with Jo during this difficult time, but I know if the situation arises, I will take the opportunity to discuss us.

The flight lands in Los Angeles International Airport shortly after midnight. Knowing there is absolutely no way I’m going to her mother’s house at this time of night, I decide to hail a cab from the plethora of them parked outside the airport.

I can come back and rent a car in the morning if I want, I’m too exhausted to try to navigate my way through an unknown city.

I’m dead on my feet. Trying to adjust from being at sea and the time changes we go through out on the water is rough, then to add in jetlag and jumping into another time zone is enough to put me on my ass.

As soon as I’m checked into a quaint little resort near the famous Venice Beach, I take a hot shower and then pass out.

Tomorrow will be a long day.

I’m up, showered, dressed, and waiting for a cab to drive me to a rental car place by 9:00 A.M. My dreams were filled with ideas of how today will go.

This day feels like it’s taken forever to get here; I’ve waited over six months to not only see Jo again, but to be able to talk to her, too. I thought I missed her while I was deployed, but being back stateside and having not seen her yet has been pure agony. We don’t even need to discuss all of the shit going on between us, not right now; I just want some sense of normalcy back.

An hour later, I’m situated in my rental, a God-awful little Prius, with my phone’s GPS locked in on Jo’s home address.

Time to do this.

Pulling up outside the quaint, single story home, I take in everything possible. The front yard consists of a small, overrun rose garden with a weather worn wood wishing well. To the side, in the two car driveway, sits an older model truck with the hood popped up and a newer Ford Escape.

My nerves are all over the place as I ring the doorbell.

After a few moments of waiting, the door swings open to a young, blonde girl dressed in scrubs.

“Can I help you?” she questions as her eyes scan my body.

“I uhh, I’m looking for—”

“Who is it, Kandice?” a voice from inside calls out.

The young girl, Kandice, turns to the side and acknowledges the person inside before turning back to face me and telling me to hold on as she shuts the door in my face.

I hear muffled voices among other sounds before the door reopens to Jo’s mom standing there. Her smile is instant the moment she realizes I’m the unknown person.

“J.C.!” She already sounds winded as she calls out my name and holds her arms open for a hug.

“Hey, Mrs. Fuentes. How’ve you been, causing any trouble lately?”

I wrap my arms around her as we both laugh. I’ve met Jo’s mom a couple times previously during her visits to Norfolk and we instantly started joking with each other.

We walk into the house with her leaning most of her weight against me. Again, I don’t know how severe her diagnosis is, but it seems she’s smiling through the pain.

Like mother, like daughter.

Getting her settled into a recliner in the living room, I take a seat on the worn leather couch just as the young nurse comes back in.

“How’re you feeling Ms. Patricia?”

She takes a deep breath before answering.

“You know, I’m okay, but I could use some tea and a pain pill while I catch up with J.C. please.”

She nods her head and walks back out just as quickly as she came in.

We sit chatting for about thirty minutes, with minimum interruptions from the young nurse named Kandice before the front door flies open.

“Mom?” a familiar voice calls out.

“In here, Joey,” Patricia quietly responds. Her eyes shine with mischief as she watches; waiting for the moment Jo walks in and sees me sitting here.

In the brief time we had alone, I told her that Jo had no idea I was here, amongst other things.

I feel the exact moment my stomach drops to my feet; it’s the instant Jo, the girl I’ve dreamed about over the past six months, comes into view.

“What? What are you doing here?”

Now’s the perfect opportunity to confess. Tell her I’m sorry for the way I acted. Apologize for not getting in touch with her sooner. And beg for forgiveness and a second chance. But I’m stunned to silence by simply being in her presence once again.

Jo

As soon as Mom’s hospice nurse arrived at the house today, I left to run a few errands around town. Nothing that was really a big deal or couldn’t wait, so part of me really didn’t want to leave my mom’s side, but she insisted that I get out of the house for a bit.

I’m going to be here with my mom until my leave times comes to an end. I turned in my emergency leave paperwork yesterday morning and requested two weeks’ time off for now. My Chief told me if I need more time than that, he’ll handle it. The time is passing by quicker than I expected.

Although, being here now, Mom doesn’t act like someone in need of Hospice. Yes, she’s slower getting around and tires out very quickly, but nothing is standing out to me that shows she’s dying.

Dying.

My mom is dying.

I feel as though I just wrapped my mind around this two year battle she’s been fighting; finally acknowledging that she is struggling through this vicious disease. And now I have to convince myself that it’s no longer a battle; the fight is coming to a close, and unfortunately, Mom isn’t going to be victorious like we’d all anticipated.

Being here the last few days, seeing her in that hospital, has finally forced my brain to accept that this is the God-awful fate my mom will have to deal with.

When I left the house this morning, mom appeared to be having a good day. I know all of this is just an illusion; Mom’s good days are numbered. A fluke in cancer’s plan to overtake her body.