Reshaping It All (9 page)

We can start by living by the Spirit while we stop following the heart of discontentment and doubt.

Countless potential dieters are sitting on the proverbial fence. They desperately want to jump over to the other side where new life begins, but fear and doubt spring from the heart, holding them back. Remember, the heart will deceive us with all sorts of negative thoughts:

• You're getting older, and older people can't take off the weight.

• You've tried so many times before, and you'll just fail again.

• Your family is overweight, so you will always be that way too.

• You're too far gone; it would take years to get back to a normal, acceptable size.

• Your husband likes you overweight, so why bother.

• You like food too much; it's not worth the effort.

Do any of the following thoughts affect your self-image?

• I'm not attractive.

• I'm fat.

• I'm a loser.

• I'm too masculine.

• I'm not accepted.

• I won't be good enough until . . .

• My body is disgusting.

• Nobody could ever love me.

I hope you don't contemplate any of these thoughts, but unfortunately many women who can't take off weight do.

The simple fact is that if these negative, destructive thoughts are growing in your heart, you will be as you think. If you let those thoughts remain in your heart and accept them to be true, they will eventually blossom and form who you are. If you wake up in the morning only to look in the mirror with disgust, you have already started out on the wrong foot.

If you want to live a life free from the bondage of food, the pull of the refrigerator, and the discomfort of those nasty waistbands, then start living that life today. You are beautiful, interesting, accepted, and loved by the most high God. Be content with both the woman you are today and the woman you'll be tomorrow.

You don't have to look back; just keep looking forward. Maybe you failed before—so what? Failure from the past is not a reason to give up today; in fact it's the very reason you should press on and make it work this time. Change what you can. You hold the God-given power to do that, and the great news is that He doesn't expect you to do it alone.

What is it about helium balloons that light up a room so elegantly? Or that make children squeal with delight? Are they not the same as the ones we blow up at the kitchen table and let drift to the floor? No, they aren't. Nothing says, "It's a party!" like a grand bouquet of pink and white helium balloons. What makes them different is that one floats and the other one sinks. It's that simple. What we put into them makes all the difference in the world.

We're hardly different. We are set apart from the crowd by the things we fill our minds with. "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Phil. 4:8). These messages help us rise above our strongholds. These thoughts bring us closer to the person God created us to be.

What thoughts cloud your mind? Do you believe you can and will do what you set out to do, or do you entertain negative thoughts that whisper, "You can't"?

Believing in ourselves but, more importantly, believing in God as our source of strength will change us from the person we were. We shouldn't want to be anyone else, but we can be the best God created us to be. It's that familiar prayer of hope:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

—Reinhold Niebuhr

The first step is to believe in yourself enough to get off the fence and step on to the other side. Hedging on the idea of losing weight but arguing with every thought that keeps you from it holds you in bondage and will continue to do so until you break free. Turn off the negative thoughts, and start believing in who you're created to be.

Growing up, the biggest boost to my confidence was having a few special people around me who always told me, "Candace, you can do it! You're talented and gifted. Go for it! It's okay if you don't make this one, keep trying."

Those words throughout my life helped mold me into the woman I am today, and if not for them, I don't know that I'd have the confidence to do the things I'm doing.

I was recently asked on the red carpet what body part I like best about myself and which one I hated the most. I delightfully answered, "I love my legs. They may be short, but they sure are shapely!" I thought for a second about which part I didn't like, and before I could let all the nitpicky things flood my mind, I didn't give it a chance. I reached for the Scripture stored in my heart and told her that God said I was fearfully and wonderfully made. And that I was going to stick with that thought.

God carefully thought of every detail in your wardrobe, providing you with a unique set of designer genes. Things that you think are imperfections are God's own craftsmanship. In fact the most beautiful things about us are usually those things we don't see in the mirror. It could be the way we tilt our head when we laugh, a glint in our eyes when we smile, or the way we carry ourselves into a room. Delight in yourself knowing that God made you just the way He wanted you to be. Own it.

The Pantry

CHOCKED-FULL OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Main Ingredient

God created each one of us in our own unique way. Just like a snowflake we all hold a blueprint that differs one from another. It's great to lose weight and keep our bodies healthy and strong, but it's also important that we appreciate who we are today—with or without extra pounds.

A Slice of Advice

Dear Candace,

I just want to tell you what a blessing you are, and how happy I was to learn that you are a committed Christian! I am thirty-eight-years-old and watched you back in the Full House days. I have always loved you! Seeing you as the woman you turned out to be is such an inspiration. I have been a Christian since I was seven and was so blessed to grow up in a wonderful Christian home. It is so amazing to see someone like you with a heart like mine.

You are so beautiful on the outside and, more importantly, so beautiful on the inside. One can truly see God's love in your countenance.

I have a couple of beauty questions: What kind of makeup do you use (base and powder)? I have the hardest time finding something that doesn't look like I have on a ton of make-up. Also, what kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? Any deep conditioners or hair masks? I have hair similar to yours (color and length). It takes a lot to keep colored hair healthy, so any tips would be great.

Also, when you get your hair cut, how do you tell them you want it cut? I LOVE your hair!

Thanks, Candace, for reading my e-mail. Just know what a blessing you and your Web site are!

—Deb

Dear Deb,

Thanks so much for the sweet e-mail.

To answer your questions, I use a mineral-based powder foundation for everyday. It's light, easy, and quick to put on, just giving an even skin tone to my face. When I'm working on camera or hitting the red carpet, I use a heavier liquid makeup because of the lights. I use Frederik Fekkai hair products. I have fine hair but a lot of it. It's the most resilient hair my hairdresser has even seen. I'm blessed with that because my hair shouldn't be in as good of shape as it is since I've been coloring and highlighting it since I was twelve.

I trust my hairdressers and usually explain the type of cut I want. Layers are a must for long hair, or else it can be shapeless and lifeless in my opinion. A few months ago I decided to cut some bangs and am having fun with it. They do a great job with my hair, and I've never been unsatisfied. That of course is with my two trusted hairdressers: one in LA and one in Miami. It took a lot of searching, bad cuts, and color in between to find these people worth sticking with.

If you don't have a regular hairdresser that you love and trust, I'd take a picture of someone whose cut you'd like to emulate. That should help!

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

Weighing yourself once or twice a week is a great way to keep watch over your progress and slide backs. If you are up two or three pounds, you can ask yourself why and make changes before you start feeling too large in your clothes. By the time your clothing starts to feel snug, it's often a case where you've had five to ten pounds of excess weight creep up. And if you often wear stretch pants, you might not realize you are going off track at all.

If you have a comfort range, keep an eye on it. Make sure you stay in that target area, and if you see an increase of four or five pounds, then start cutting back before it goes any further. If you can catch it when you're four pounds up, instead of waiting until your buttons pop, you'll only have small changes to make. Catch it early. The numbers can matter when they are in a healthy range for your size.

Food for Thought

• For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. (Ps. 139:13–16 NKJV)

• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Gal. 5:22–23)

• Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil. 4:8)

The Candy Dish

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. —Golda Meir

From My Stove to Yours

Breakfast Sandwich

Serves 4—Your kids will love these!

Ingredients

Nonstick cooking spray

4 eggs

4 whole-wheat English muffins

4½-inch round slices Canadian bacon

1 large beefsteak tomato, sliced into ½-inch slices

Salt and pepper

Directions

Crack the eggs into a bowl and whisk. Add a dash of salt and pepper.

Put a quarter of the egg mixture into a skillet and cook, omelet style, until the eggs are cooked through (about 1 to 2 minutes per side). Do this four times (once for each egg).

Next, heat the Canadian bacon in a skillet until warm (about 1 to 2 minutes per side), and while that's cooking, lightly toast the English muffins.

Layer the English muffins with an omelet folded to fit, a piece of Canadian bacon, one slice of tomato, and the muffin top.

SEVEN

Unlock Your Freedom

Yahoo! was incorporated, "O. J. Simpson" was on everyone's lips, digital video discs otherwise known as DVDs were invented, and Boyz to Men were topping the charts. It was 1995.
Full House
was writing their last curtain call, and everywhere you looked, people were listening to Sheryl Crow.

While the end of the Tanner family closed one chapter in my life, God was busy writing the next. In the fifteen-plus years since the last curtain call, I have continued to move forward in my own life, realizing new dreams, overcoming surmountable struggles, and experiencing life to its fullest, all possible with four keys that God has so graciously placed in my hand. I stand humbly at His feet, thankful not only for revealing these keys to me but also because He is now using me as an instrument to hand them to you.

Each key is simple yet holds a unique strategy. When combined with the other three, they have the power to lock doors in our lives—such as addiction, depression, and doubt—and open new doors to our future that mark pivotal points in life's walking paths. These life-changing strategies have helped me. I have used them to grow my family and my character as a wife, speak to audiences of more than ten thousand people, launch my own T-shirt line, establish a presence on the Web, maintain a twenty-five-pound weight loss, publish this book, and land my current role in
Make It or Break It
. These four keys are actions we're all familiar with, but what many of us aren't familiar with is the freedom and sustaining power that the four provide when used together.

We've talked about the reasons our diets can fail. Now let's talk about the necessary keys to success!

Key 1: Willpower

Willpower is the one that most of us will hold in our hands several times throughout the course of our lives. It's the mind-set that moves us to say, "I really want to lose weight this year," or, "I want to buy a treadmill and start running each night," combined with the power to take the first step. Note that it's more than just good intention. Willpower is accompanied by self-controlling action.

It has the ability to control impulse. So if you are an impulsive eater, trying to stick to a plan without willpower, you'd be rowing a boat without paddles. Without willpower, there is nothing to harness your will—nothing to control your desires. It's an inner strength that keeps you going even when you doubt that you can. Using willpower to control your appetite and diminish bad habits is the first key to reshaping your life.

It does carry power, but willing and doing must go hand in hand if you expect to make progress. That's easy to understand, but choosing to live it isn't always as easy.

A good way to strengthen your willpower is through attitude. Self-deflating thoughts send messages to the brain that weaken your resolve. Decide to conquer those thoughts before they take root by thinking positively. Be determined in thought.