Rescuing Rose (62 page)

'How terrible to think of Rachel being driven to do something so desperate, ' she'd said as we sat in her garden looking at her family photographs. 'I suppose she must have felt that
she'd
been abandoned—which she had really—so that's probably why she abandoned you. It's awful to think of what she went through. But she never, ever spoke of it to me, Rose, on any of my visits, until I went for the very last time. It was a month before the end, and she mentioned you, and I nodded. Then she told me that she'd "spoken to you". But she was so ill by then that I thought she might be delirious. '

'No, she had spoken to me. It's just that I didn't get to hear what she'd said for eighteen months. ' I thought of my mother's words, coming steadily towards me, like light travelling across the space from some distant star.

Susan had shown me photos of my father as well. There was one of him and Rachel, when they were teenagers, standing by his motorbike, looking into each other's faces and laughing uproariously, as though they hadn't a care in the world. Less than a year after that photo was taken he would be dead, and she'd be a self-exile, parted forever from her child. How tragic, I thought. How absolutely tragic; but at long last I had an image of him. My dad. I've got his brow, his chin, and his height. My pronounced clavicles I get from Rachel, evidently. There was one photo of her in her first evening dress.

'Will you want to get in touch with Ian's brothers?' Susan had asked. 'The Penningtons moved up to Scotland not long after he was killed, but I know someone who's got their address. '

'I'd like to write to them, and ask them if they'd like to meet me. It would be nice to think that they would. ' And they do want to meet me, so Theo and I are going to see them in the Autumn. When we're back from Oz.

I've been to see the house in Kemsley, and the one next door where my father lived, and the paper mill where my grandfathers worked. I've seen my grandparents' graves too, in Sittingbourne. Strangely, I felt as though I was going to meet them. I brought them red roses. I've paid my respects. Susan gave me a copy of the family tree she'd done. She'd put me on it, with my correct date of birth, next to Laura, my sister.

'You'll have to add to it soon, ' I'd said…

'Ooh, meteor, ' I said to Theo. 'No, sorry, it's a satellite. ' My charm bracelet jingled at my left wrist as I shifted slightly. On it are the star, and my Aladdin's lamp, and a tiny telescope charm we found in an antique jeweller's yesterday.

'I love this, ' I heard Theo say, as we shifted on the sand. 'This reminds me of being a boy, standing on this beach, staring at the sky with my granddad. Looking up… Things are looking up aren't they?'

'Oh they
are
. Things are really… ' I sighed. 'Pretty grand. '

'Yes. Grand, ' he echoed as we strained our necks upwards. 'What a nice way to spend my birthday. And your founders day, ' he added.

'Hmm. I like August the first now, ' I said. 'I used to hate it. I don't any more. ' I felt the sand trickle through my fingers. 'Do you think we're alone?'

Theo looked around. 'Yes. Why? What do you want to do?'

'No, I mean, do you think we're alone—in the universe?'

'Oh. Almost certainly not. When you think how many other solar systems there must be, I doubt that a planet like the earth is unique. '

'I wonder what the aliens would make of us?'

'Well, they'd know quite a bit about us already, from our radio and television broadcasts. '

'Oh yes. Of course. '

'Imagine, every single broadcast that's ever been made, just whizzing through space, for ever and ever. Hitler's opening address to the Berlin Olympics for example. '

'That's bad PR for us earthlings, isn't it?'

'I'm afraid it is. The death of President Kennedy. The aliens must be wondering who the hell shot him. It's probably driving them crazy. '

'It probably is. '

'President Clinton—"I did not have sexual relations with that woman". '

'Ha! Bet they didn't believe
that
!'

'All your radio broadcasts on London FM. '

'Oh yes. ' I imagined my voice floating through the galaxy.

'They've probably got as far as Mars by now. '

'I wonder if the Martians think I gave my listeners good advice. '

Hhmm. I wonder. They're probably arguing about whether Tracey from Tottenham should take her husband back, or whether Vince from Vauxhall really is gay. Or perhaps they have their own Martian agony aunts, or inter-galactic agony aunts.

'Yes, they probably do. '

'You don't miss it do you?' Theo added, turning to me.

'Not in the slightest. I don't need it any more. I'm not in agony, ' I said happily.

'No, you're not. You're the Post's star feature writer. '

'Correction. I'm their animal correspondent. ' I thought of my current commission—an expose on the 'Turkeys Tortured for Christmas' scandal, which is why we're in Norfolk. I've got to infiltrate a farm and do an investigative piece on the conditions there. Next week it's Heathrow and the trade in smuggled tortoises, and then I've got to write a piece about a retriever who can do advanced calculus—we're going to call it 'Sum Dog!'. So it's not exactly what you'd call 'cutting edge' journalism, but I really don't mind. It's better than nasty neighbours and hair loss, and Ricky's kindly paying me what I got before. In any case, I have other priorities now. My perspective has changed. In so many ways.

'What's the time, Theo?'

'It's half eleven. Why—are you hungry again?'

'Yeah. Have you got the sandwich bag?'

He leaned over then grabbed a Co-Op carrier. 'Anchovy and strawberry jam?'

'No thanks. '

'Bacon and marmalade?'

'Nope. '

'Smoked salmon and banana. '

'Pass. '

'Apricot and Marmite?' Apricot and Marmite. Now that sounded good.

'Yeah. ' He passed one to me and I took a big bite. 'Oh yum. '

'How long do you think this phase will last?' he asked.

'Haven't a clue. '

'I look forward to you eating proper food again, cooked by me. '

'This'll do me for now. '

'And are you feeling okay, Rose?'

'Yes, ' I said happily. 'I feel absolutely fine. I get the odd palpitation and peculiar pains in my wrists. But the nurse said that's normal at thirteen weeks. Thanks, darling, that was delish. ' I lay back again and studied the firmament. 'We'll have to think about names won't we?' I said.

'Bollocks. '

'No we will, Theo. The time will fly. '

'No
Pollux
. Castor and Pollux—how about that? The heavenly twins. '

'Well that's a bit outre, in any case they might not be boys. '

'That's true. Calypso and Ganymede then. '

'Hmm. Now you're talking. But what if they're both girls?'

'Thelma and Louise? Bella and Bea?'

'Rachel and Anna, ' I said slowly. 'After both our mothers. '

'Rachel and Anna, ' he repeated. 'That's really nice. I hope they won't mind the long flight to Oz. '

'No the doctor said they'll be fine. Anyway we've got to go now before I get too big. Three weeks down under, ' I said with a happy sigh. 'It'll be so lovely. Meeting the family. And you'll get some good stuff for your radio series. '

'Yes I'll be able to get all my material about the southern sky. I'm looking forward to seeing the Anglo-Australian observatory. And we might even get to see the southern lights. We've got so much to look forward to haven't we, Rose?' he added.

'Yes, ' I smiled, 'we have. '

He suddenly stood up. 'I think the tide's going out. Shall we go for a walk along the water's edge? A little midnight paddle, Rose? Are you up for it?'

I reached out my hand and Theo pulled me to my feet.

'Yes, ' I said. 'I am. '