RequiredSurrender (16 page)

“But I…”

He saw her worry and confusion and continued to stroke her.
“Shhh, I know. I know how confusing these things can be. People mean well, I’m
sure Colin did when she discussed this option with you. Unfortunately, your
friend isn’t in a position to understand the concept, because she doesn’t understand
pain. Not the way pain should be understood. So before you make any more rash
decisions about how to go about fixing yourself with me or anyone else, I want
you to know the difference. I want to teach you the truth about pain and show
you how healing the right kind of pain, administered the right way, can be for
a person like you.”

Her eyes became instantly glassy and he didn’t like it.
“What’s the matter? Isn’t this what you wanted? Didn’t you ask me to fix you?”

“Yes, but I—the only time I feel anything is when I’m with
you and I don’t want that to go away.”

He slipped his hand out from between the ropes and
whispered, “Even with me you don’t feel enough. And what you do feel?” He
pushed his hand between her legs and skated bent knuckles through her heat.
“Tells me your problem isn’t a physical one. Your body works just fine in that
direction when you let go the little bit that you do.”

He played with her until she moaned.

“See?” Bringing his hand up, he ordered, “Open your mouth.
That’s right. Suck on my fingers. Taste yourself.”

The more time he spent with her, the more he was convinced
that this was what she needed. A slow and steady assault on her willpower. She
was strong, so he was going to have to be stronger. He needed to build enough
trust to do what he had in mind to do to her, if he hoped to take her out of
her critical thinking mind. For once he wanted her to respond to him
spontaneously and not because she’d planned to do what he wanted and just did
it. It was almost as if her emotions and thoughts were completely separated
from her body’s needs. Not that she was fully shut off from her feelings. He
could read the signs, but they were buried deep. She’d been burying a lot of
things deep for a long time, he suspected. And now it was time do some mining.

“All right, that’s enough.” He took his hand away. Glad when
she made a protesting noise. “The kind of pain I’m going to introduce you to is
erotic pain. I want you to repeat that phrase. Erotic pain.”

“Erotic pain,” she whispered.

“Good.” He moved in closer. Rubbing his chest against her
nipples again until she shook and moaned. Those clamps were the best fucking
investment he ever made. “Does this hurt?” He circled her one breast in an arc
around the steel pincher. “Or has your body taken care of you? Does it feel
numb yet, sensitive here?”

“Yes.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in deep when he tugged on
the chain. “You see, erotic pain is different than traditional pain because it
has time to build. It gives the body a chance to explore it. It’s just another
way to feel good in your skin. To enjoy the different miracles your body has to
offer if you’re brave enough to test this kind of territory.”

She frowned. “B-but pain shouldn’t feel good.”

“True. Have you ever hit your funny bone?”

“Yes.”

“It wasn’t funny, was it?” He brushed his fingertips in the
lightest touch over the mounds of her breasts.

“N-no,” she sighed.

“That’s because it happened in a flash. A split second of
smarting before your brain could properly process the danger. You’re left
rubbing the sting away with no end benefit to make the action worth the ensuing
pain you’re enduring. Your mind reasons that it was bad and it wants to make
sure that it avoids doing it again.” He bent forward and whispered in her ear,
“But erotic pain is different. Properly doled out it takes time. Patience. And
the reward for that? Is that the body copes with it. So well, in fact, that the
mind doesn’t fight it. It gives up control and that’s when things get
interesting. I’m going to make things interesting for you right now.”

He rimmed the shell of her ear with his tongue. “Would you
like that?”

“I’m n-not sure.”

“Ah, but you promised to do what I wanted. Are you saying
you can’t?”

“No.”

“Then you would like me to make things interesting for you.”

“Yes.”

He bit her lobe. “Yes what?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Very good.”

He stepped away from her to pick up the bag. He’d chosen the
metal clips, as they looked more ferocious than the wooden ones, but just the
opposite was true. He figured if Jo were going to stay focused enough to try to
keep control of things, he’d give her something to focus in on.

“We’re going to start off slow and I want you to watch what
I do. I’m going to explain what I’m doing as I go. First, we’re going to take
these off.”

He reached for one of the nipple clamps and she sighed,
“Thank you.”

He stopped. “Thank you, Sir. I won’t tell you again, Jo.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

He undid the right one and she gasped.

“I think you were a little hasty with your thank you,” he
chuckled. “It stings, doesn’t it?”

“Like a motherfu—”

He stared hard while one brow rose in warning. “Toledo?” he
offered when she was at a loss to finish.

She nodded and he continued removing the other. “Not to
worry. Remember what I said about the body. It,” he dropped the clamps into the
bag and put both hands over her breast, “protects itself in the most wonderful
ways possible. How’s this?”

She moaned.

“As the blood starts to race back to the area it will itch
and then—”

She groaned again and pushed into his palms.

“Then it will feel good. Hot and tingly. Oversensitive and
ready for the least little touch.”

“Yes…Sir.”

“Very good. Let’s get that mind of yours focused. I’m going
to put these on you. They’re going to sting initially, but I want you to
breathe through the fiery sensations.” He held up the metal clip so she could
see it. “Nothing too scary. It looks like a metal bag clip, doesn’t it?”

“What are you doing?”

“Stay still. I’m only pinching your skin so I can clamp you
with this.” He moved with precision, and when he’d gotten two on her, one on
each arm, and she tensed, he stopped. “I don’t see you making the effort.
You’re not breathing the way I told you to.” He waited until she relaxed.
“Better. Stay relaxed like this and it will go easier for you.” He got four
more on her. Two perfectly aligned on one side of her waist and two on the
other. He was just bending to pinch the skin on her inner thigh when she lost
it. That stubborn determination cracked.

“Are you fucking kidding me! Take them off.”

He didn’t do it. He wouldn’t. Instead he clipped the last
two he had in his hands onto his belt loop and moved in to crowd her again.
Only this time she wasn’t loving it. She was mad. Frustrated.

“Easy, you’re going to hurt yourself. Stop jerking.”

He pressed his weight against her as additional incentive
and was glad when she settled. She still huffed and puffed from her earlier
exertion, but he pretended that he didn’t know that was the cause. “That’s
better. Breathe deep. Imagine the oxygen filling you up. Pushing away the stings.”

He brought his hands up to breasts and massaged them until
she quivered. “Soon your whole body is going to feel this alive. Don’t fight
it. I want you to bear it for me. I want you to accept this for me. Do it for
me.”

She moaned and he curled in to kiss her cheek, the side of
her hair and her ear. “That’s right. It feels good, doesn’t it?” To prove to
her that it did, he slipped his hand down and felt between her legs. “Oh yeah,
you like this. You’re swollen and wet. So wet. Relax and breathe. That’s my good
girl. Take this next one for me. Bear it.”

She sucked in a breath when he clipped one of the clamps
from his belt loop onto her inner thigh, but she didn’t tense, so that was
encouraging.

“I’m so proud of you. Let me get the last one on. Keep
breathing,” he kissed her shoulder and the rapidly beating pulse point at the
base of her neck. “You’re doing so well.” He felt rather than heard her indrawn
breath. It was deep and dragged some of his hair in the breeze of its wake.
“All done. This will be your new hell. The fire and pain you’ll have to walk
through to get to heaven. And there’ll be heaven at the end of this journey. I
promise you. That’s right. Close your eyes and fall in with it. Let the
sensations control your body because you can’t do anything about them. There’s
nothing to fear. The worst has happened. The first bite of how bad they can be
came and went and all that’s left is a paler version of the same thing you’ve
already endured.”

Jo listened to his voice. The tone and the quiet confidence
that radiated through his words. He was right. Once the initial pain-filled
sting zapped through her with each clamp he used on her, a different kind of
ache or maybe sensation flowed. In her mind’s eye she pictured it like waves
against the shore after a violent storm. Each crest mimicked the first, but
became smaller and smaller still, until the ebbing tide caressed the bright
white sands with a lover-like stroke. A gentle embrace that soothed rather than
pounded the senses.

“Very good, princess.”

This time when he put his hands on her breasts a jolt of
pure lust shot through her. From her nipples to her womb. The exciting thrums
so intense she had to swallow back a moan.

“Don’t fight it. Let it in. Breathe.”

Even though her eyes were closed, she imagined she could see
his hand as it trailed down her body. Over the cord across her stomach where
his touch made her muscles clench and caused her skin to prickle warmly as the
clamps tightened with the pull.

“Mmm…hot silk. This is what I like to feel. Let’s see if we
can get you hotter. What do I have?”

His voice was low. Husky. Almost hypnotic and she had to
strain to hear it. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She was too worried that
if she did the languid and comfortable feeling gripping her would go away. It
was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. A lulling kind of limbo where
she didn’t want to go back because what came before hurt, but to go forward was
to venture into the unknown. The present was the best place to be right now.

“I don’t want you to come, Jo, and you’re to do what I want,
remember?” He gripped her hair where it was gathered and pulled. She went with
it. She didn’t fight the tug. It felt good not fighting it. “Say yes Sir.”

“Yes Sir.” Every time she referred to him this way she went
deeper into herself, experiencing a titillating thrill from his dominance.
Should she tell him that?

“Stop thinking and feel.”

She opened her mouth to explain, because surely this would
make him happy, but then he put a vibrator directly on her clit and her whole
world exploded in sensations. Every fiber in her being woke up. The flesh
between her legs, the nerve endings there flared to life in a white-hot crest
that was more startling than pain. As excruciating, but completely different. A
tender torture as integral as it was intoxicating.

“Breathe, Jo. Let it in. Give it room to grow.”

She heard his orders with vivid clarity, which was odd
because she felt as if she’d been set on fire. She should be squirming,
screaming or begging and instead, just as she’d done a minute ago when he
wrenched her hair, she gave in and went with it. Yes, it felt good not to
fight.

“Very good. I’m taking these off, one by one. I want you,”
she heard the
thunks
as he dropped the clips into the bag, “to
concentrate on what I have between your legs. Focus on this.”

He pushed it more firmly against her and the second she did
as he’d told her, she had an overwhelming urge to come. She gasped and tried to
find the will to fight it.

“No.”

He spread her flesh open wider and slid the smooth thrumming
device higher and even harder against her. Intensifying the speed. It was
almost impossible to breathe through.

“Please, Sir, I can’t hold on. I can’t make it stop.”

His warm hand brushed over all the parts of her that had
been clamped. Her arms, her sides and finally inner thighs. She was shaking and
panting by the time he got there and mercilessly teased her quivering flesh.
She didn’t think things could get any more intense until he leaned down and
added soft bites on her aching nipples to his tempting repertoire. That was
when Jo knew her trip through hell was at an end. Now there was only heaven and
she embraced the climb. Reason and sanity deserted her and she was happy for
it.

Adrenaline shot through her veins, making her dizzy and
breathless. Her heart raced and shivers that quickly turned to quakes started
at her knees and roiled upward. Squeezing and stroking every nerve ending. “Oh
God, I’m trying…”

He bit harder and then sucked her nipple into his mouth.
Swirling his tongue over it in such a hungry way that—

“Ahhhh…!”

Ted dropped the vibrator and slipped two fingers into her
just in time to be greeted by the explosion of hot, creamy wetness that poured
out of her. “Mmm. Very good,” he whispered against her breast as he pumped.
Easing the heavy contractions while she moaned and finally went limp against
him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. You told me not to, but I
couldn’t help it.”

He eased out of her, still marveling over her heat, and
said, “Sometimes orders need to be broken. With you in this instance?” He undid
her hands and slowly brought them down to her sides. “A bona fide spontaneous
reaction was more important to me.”

“W-why?”

“Aww, you’re shaking.” He grabbed her arm and rubbed from
shoulder to wrist and back again. “Tell me how you feel.”

“I f-feel l-like a…a…s-stranger.”

He let go of her arm and tilted her chin. When he kissed
her, he committed himself to it, giving her his full and undivided attention.
That was all she needed, because with one soul-cleansing sigh, she responded to
it. For many long moments he let her get lost in the embrace until she no
longer shook, then he pulled back and rested his forehead on hers. “You’re not
a stranger to me.” She closed her eyes and he smiled. “Now let’s get you
loose.”