Authors: Riley Murphy
“Chose me?” Jo hated. Loathed the tiny tendril of hope that
unfurled inside her. Quickly she pushed it aside.
“I may have been going through a traumatic time with your
dad, but I wasn’t completely oblivious to things. Even though you continued to
deny it I told Anjay I still had doubts about what happened between the two of
you. I told him you were too young and he should have known better. That’s when
he said he was giving you some space. He agreed he’d gone too fast with you too
soon. What was I to think? He was so contrite. Worried that he’d jeopardized a
future with you because he’d gotten you drunk and you…” She took a deep breath.
“Well, when I went after him for this, he said I was the last person to be
casting any stones. That was when he told me he knew about Uncle Vic. That he’d
tell you about it if I didn’t leave well enough alone and give you time to come
to your senses.”
Her mother shook her head as if to clear it. Then she went
completely still and her eyes widened. “I see now what he did. He preyed on the
one thing I feared the most of losing in my life and used it against me. You.”
Now Jo was the one shaking her head, “Me?”
“Yes, you already hated me enough over the accident—”
“What?”
“That was to be expected. I was driving after all. It was
natural for you to be angry at me.”
“I never blamed you for that. It wasn’t your fault. If I
hated you at all it was because you stopped asking. You didn’t protect me and
then Dad got better and Anjay—”
“I protected you as best I could. You say I stopped asking,
but you stopped talking. You never talked to me. I was the one who convinced
Daddy to send Anjay away to grad school. I wanted you to have some real space
from him. I even convinced Uncle Vic to use his connections to get Anjay into
the Doctors Without Borders program immediately after graduation. I didn’t want
Daddy’s dream to rob you of yours. I always feared you’d agree to marry Anjay
because Daddy wanted you to.”
Jo blinked and everything hit her at once. “That bastard!
The reason I changed my story was because Anjay said he’d tell you I knew you
were having an affair. That he’d tell Dad once he could about it.”
“Oh no. Jo.” Her mother brought a hand up. It was painful to
see the way she hesitated to touch before she pulled back and dropped her arm.
“I’m so sorry. A child should never have to carry the burden of sin. Especially
the sin of one of their parents.”
Jo ignored the longing burning inside her chest. The ache of
want she had to be touched. To cover this she shrugged. “Anjay said he did a
great job of dividing us. I guess he did.”
“Why? Why would he do this?”
“Family connections for money. Just before the accident Dad
was getting ready to cut him off. Anjay said he was supposed to move out the
end of the summer. Dad was going to make him go. But then the accident happened
and Anjay figured he had a new in with us. Through me. Only I turned him down.”
Her mother frowned. “That summer? I don’t understand. Anjay
was your one and only joy. He was always there for you. You counted on him.
Before the accident and then after it. Don’t you remember?”
Of course Jo remembered. Like any abuser, Anjay had latched
on to the needy child within her. The lonely soul who was abandoned by one
parent because of an unfortunate accident and then abandoned by the other
through the ensuing circumstances. When Jo viewed it like that, she began to
see she wasn’t the only victim in the family. They all were one way or another.
“I remember. That’s why a piece of me died that night after what he did to me.”
But even as she said it, she realized it was a piece of the child she’d been,
not the woman she was now.
“I’m going to kill him.”
One glance and she knew her mother meant it. “You’ll have to
get in line.”
They were quiet for a moment as each of them digested all
this. Jo was the first to speak. “I have to go.”
“But—”
“Shit. If he cashes that check I’ll never get the money
back.”
“What check?” She didn’t touch her but she did move in front
of her to stop her exit. “Jo? Don’t shut me out again. Please. What about Ted?
You have to go to him. He was devastated.”
Ted?
Her mom sounded worried. As if she cared. She
searched her mother’s concerned face and saw the truth. Her mother did care.
She’d never deserted her. She’d always been there for her only Jo refused to
see it.
All this time. Wasted. And now? She had no time to explore
this revelation. Her mother was right. She needed to find Ted. She’d be lucky
if he ever spoke to her again. Surely he’d understand once she explained to
him. He’d have to. But then the image of him, the cold way he’d looked at her.
She’d seen that look before. It was the one she’d given Anjay the moment she
saw him that Saturday night.
You blew your shot with him.
“Oh God, Jo. I can’t take seeing you cry. You haven’t cried
since you were five years old. It will be okay.”
Jo couldn’t stop the tears as she stared at her mother. She
wanted to turn away. To run and gain some distance, but the whispered voice
inside her head got louder and louder. It was Ted’s voice. His insight that
kept her rooted to the spot.
People with bruises. Don’t cut them out.
Was
this what she’d done with Ted? Maybe not cut him out, but certainly she’d never
let him in.
Her breath erratically skittered as she hiccupped, drawing
it in. Was that what she’d done to her mother? Had she cut her out? The tears
fell faster when she realized she had, but this was something that could be
fixed, couldn’t it? Now when that tendril of hope began to unfurl inside her
she didn’t brush it aside. She didn’t embrace it either. It was enough to let
it live. Generous of her to give it room to grow.
The punishment the apple took in its journey to get to
you altered it in such a way as to improve it.
She didn’t even bother to scrub the tears away. All she
could do was think about the journey she’d taken to get to this moment and how
those words pertained to this instant in time. Was her mother a bruised apple
too? She’d been punished from all sides. With the accident, her guilt over that
and then her daughter’s anger? Hell yeah, her mother qualified as one.
Don’t cut them out.
Ted’s words echoed over and over until her mom reached out
and placed a hand on Jo’s cheek. This time there was no hesitation and when the
warmth from her long-missed touch penetrated, the heaviness in Jo’s heart
eased. She gained a steadying breath and closed her eyes. Thinking she wasn’t
ready for this, but she was wrong. They’d been through hell and now this was
the heaven.
“It’ll be all right,” her mom said. “Dad and I will take
care of things tonight,” she whispered as she gently brushed the moisture away
with the pad of her thumb, “I promise.”
Jo opened her eyes and nodded. And strangely enough, she was
okay with this as all she wanted at the moment was to get out of there. To
leave and go find Ted.
“Josephine?” Her father knocked at door. “Pauline? Is
everything okay?”
Jo was grateful her mother went to him because she wasn’t
going to.
“Peter.”
Hearing her mother’s quiet voice as she explained the truth
to him made Jo cringe. She didn’t want to see the look on his face when he
found out. Ducking into one of the stalls, she distracted herself by wadding up
a bunch of toilet paper to sop up the mess on her face.
“Josephine?”
Shit. She stiffened mid-cheek swipe because her father was
just outside the stall, and she didn’t need to see him to know his pain. It was
in his tone. God, she hated feeling trapped. Looking down, she saw his shoes
and cane and then she saw something that made her blink, just before she heard
the growl.
“You bastard!”
Her father’s cane left the floor and his usual slow-moving
feet stumbled around fast before they instantly disappeared from her view.
“No, Peter!”
Jo shot out of the stall and spotted them. Her father was
like a madman. He beat his cane against Anjay’s back so hard it broke in two on
the third strike. He didn’t pause as he threw the splintered stick aside and
used his fist in its place. With tears streaming down his face, he landed one
blow after another, shouting the same word over and over again.
“Why, why, why…”
When Anjay doubled over and leaned on the wall for support,
her father finally fell back. “Leave. You no longer exist to me.”
Anjay winced and unfolded. “It wasn’t supposed to be like
this. Jo was…” His gaze dropped and he whispered, “She was mine.”
Jo didn’t mean to speak. She didn’t want to prolong his
overdue parting, but there was a piece of her that needed closure. “Fuck you. I
never belonged to you. Never.”
Jo’s father straightened his shoulders, and Jo imagined him
gaining a good inch, maybe two, of height. “Go!”
Anjay pushed off the wall and stood in a teeter. “But—”
“You are dirt.”
Anjay didn’t like that. Jo could tell as his cheeks fused
with color and his eyes blazed. Had he really thought he’d be forgiven? Was
that why he hadn’t fought back when her father took the cane to him?
“You disgust me. Leave.”
Her father turned his back on him and clearly this was the
final straw for the asshole because Anjay looked desperate as if he had nothing
to lose. And when he raised an arm, Jo didn’t even think. She dove forward and
caught him across the Adam’s apple with her forearm. Just as she’d been taught
to do, if confronted in a forward attack position. Anjay gasped, clutching at
his throat as she swept her leg behind his knees. He stumbled but didn’t fall
so she used her foot, high heel perfectly angled, and stomped him right in the
bend just above his calf. Once. Twice and he cried out. Now the fucker fell
forward onto his knees and she quickly used her foot again to knock him back on
his ass.
“Jo!”
She huffed and puffed, more from the adrenaline spike than
anything else. “Yes?”
Her mother sounded shocked and impressed at the same time.
“Where did you learn to do that?”
“Karate class.” Jo didn’t look up, only continued searching
Anjay’s breast pocket.
“Give me that,” Anjay rasped out as his arms flailed.
Jo held up the check she’d snatched out of his pocket and
blew her hair out of her eyes. “You want it?” She tore it up and let it rain
all over him. “You got it, fuckwad. Now,” she kicked him in the thigh and
stepped back, “leave like you were told to. Go see to one of your emergencies,
because I do believe you’ve just lost the financial support to keep you out of
hiding in the ER for the next decade. Have fun dodging your creditors. Oh, and
look forward to a call from my attorney. I’d suggest you agree to the monetary
compensation I’m after for my pain and suffering. Because if you don’t? I’ll
talk to every newspaper and medical daily I can find to spread the word about
the talented Dr. Patel.”
“You wouldn’t.” He got up slowly and limped backward a few
paces. “Everyone will know.”
“Do you think I care about that?”
His eyes gleamed before they shifted from her to her mother.
“You may not, but others do. Think about it.”
Jo had the feeling that he was conveying a message of some
kind to her mom. Maybe he didn’t know that her mother had told her dad about
the affair. It didn’t matter now, because she had.
Once he was gone her dad finally spoke. “I’m sorry,
Josephine. I had no idea. If I had known…”
Jo saw that he was shaking and took his arm. Now that he
didn’t have his cane, he was a little unsteady on feet as well. “It was a long
time ago. Can we talk about this later? Is my friend still here?”
Her dad frowned. “We need to talk about this now. I’m going
to call the police.”
Jo opened her mouth but her mom intervened. She took her
dad’s other arm and leaned around him. “It’s okay, honey, go find Ted. Your dad
and I will see to straightening this out with our guests first and then, maybe
tomorrow we can discuss how you want to handle this.”
Her dad seemed confused, but her mother insisted, “Go, we’ll
talk about this later. You and I. Dad too. It will be fine. I promise.”
Jo nodded and pulled open the door. She took one look
through the curtains that led to the main dining hall where all her extended
family laughed, chatted and danced, and promptly left the back way. While she
waited for a cab to take her to Ted’s place she briefly wondered about the
irony of the situation. She’d finally been given a chance to speak openly to
both her parents about that night, and instead she’d chosen to push it off. She
couldn’t help it. That conversation would eventually happen because she needed
it to heal the child within her. The girl she was back then. However, being the
woman she was right now, she needed to talk to someone else.
Ted.
* * * * *
“Hi.” Jo stood at Ted’s door a half hour later. She’d
already decided what she was going to say to him. How she was going to
apologize. “I’m glad you’re home.”
He barely acknowledged her before he peered over her head.
“You shouldn’t have sent your cab away.”
“Why? I know you’re upset. I—”
“I’m not upset. Call another cab and go home, Jo.”
“But I want to apologize and tell you what happened. Can I
come in?”
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
It was the casual way he spoke that completely unnerved her.
Add to this the rapidly descending darkness and him not turning on the porch
light and she was feeling not only uneasy but unwelcomed as well. Best to get
it over with. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything. I couldn’t. I was
embarrassed.”
“About?”
“My mother deserting me when I needed her most. At least I
thought she had and by the time I was ready to tell her to go fu—well, you know
and tell my dad everything, that’s when Anjay shared something about my mother.
What my mother had done when my dad was in the hospital for months recovering
from the accident. Anjay made it sound as though he was holding this over her
head and it was her fear of being exposed that had made her side with him. That
it wasn’t about her not believing me. Then my mom told me he had pictures. That
he showed her one of them to convince her that I consented, but she never
believed it. The whole trying to work through what happened with her back then
was all a huge uncomfortable mess. A mess that came at a bad time.”